"You need that tape, Byers? Mine is running out." Monica asked while holding a handful of missing signs posters with Will Byers's innocent face plastered over it. They stood next to the bulletin board close to the exit of Hawkins High while everyone else was in their own classes for 5th period for the last few minutes. Monica was on her free period, deciding to help Jonathan hang up these posters to make him less lonely during the worst time of his life. Well, that and not having to sit through Nancy's boyfriend, Steve Harrington, and his greasy hair's bullshit for an extra hour. At this time, she wanted the distraction and the reality of Will Byers was the biggest one. A big terrifying one.

Jonathan pushed the clear tape against the paper on the bulletin board before responding, "Sure. Let me take it." He held out his hand after giving her his tape. She places the Scott Tape in the palm of his hand and walks over the wall across the bulletin board to hang up another poster. She had so much she wanted to say to him. How much she wanted to say sorry to him. About everything. But she questioned if it would help him in the long run. He wouldn't even allow her to pity him as if everything was normal. And it wasn't. At least not anymore.

"How many posters did you print out? We've been doing this for, it feel like, a decade." Monica tries to joke to lighten his mood. He made a small chuckle. "The only reason why is because you decided to complain about walking the whole time."

Monica scoffs as she hangs up a poster near another classroom door on the white brick wall, seeming to be a chemistry class. She turns to him, saying, "Jeez, is it a crime to not like walking?"

"No, but it's a crime to complain about it like it's a midlife crisis." He hung up another poster in the process as Monica walked by his side. "You really like to complain a lot don't you?"

She rolls her eyes, hitting his shoulder playfully. "I like to call it expressing myself. Try it sometimes. Maybe then you won't grow gray hairs at sixteen."

"You wish." He gave her a little smirk as he went to grab more posters. Monica was struck at the handful of papers that Jonathan held in his hand from his brown, used bag that he had for a while. She failed to predict that they would make that many. As if they were going to hang that poster for the whole world to see. Even so, Monica absolutely didn't blame them in the slightest. Will Byers needed to be found.

Monica lowered her smile as Jonathan walked back to a different area in the same hallway that was close enough from where Monica stood. "How many copies did your mom actually print out?"

"Around 250 copies. Why?"

"How is she holding up? With all of this?" Monica was right next to him when asking him this pressing question. It sort of felt like she already knew that the answer wasn't going to be that great.

Jonathan took a long pause when trying to compose the 'right' answer to give and hung yet another poster. "She thinks... She thinks he's talking to her... through the lights. I have never seen her like this. Not sleeping at night, all riled up. It's... it's tough."

"And how are you?" Monica looked at him, deeply concerned with his sudden change of tone.

"It feels... it's like I'm in a nightmare that I can't get out of. It could be worse. Lonnie could be here but I'm happy he isn't." Jonathan pauses to stop himself to refrain from blaming himself since he already heard that speech of how it "wasn't your fault" since it still felt deeply like it. Like someone doesn't want to tell the truth. "What I want... I just want this all to end. With Will alive..." Hopefully... that he wanted to say next but wasn't willing to speak it into existence.

Monica, watching his cheerless expression, could feel every inch of her heart breaking. He doesn't deserve this, she thought. No one could ever deserve this, not the worst person in the world. Having to wake up to see your loved one go somewhere that they'll never get out of. Still, it would be shitty to just destroy the hopes of his brother coming back to them to be true. "We're going to find him. I don't care how but I'm sure we will. Just know I'm here, okay? We are good friends, after all."

"Yeah, I know. You don't have to do this, you know? You can go off with Nancy like you usually to." Monica scoffs a laugh for Jonathan to cut the tension once again. "You usually never stop talking about her. What gives?"

The bell abruptly rings durn which causes them to quickly hang as many as they could, almost coating the wall with missing posters. At least anyone in the school can notice his face, she thought to herself as she gave the rest of them in Jonathan's hands, who stuffed them all in his bag. She asked, "Are you staying for photography?"

Steve, Tommy, and Carol tagged with Nancy and Barb during their free period, strolling through the hallway to hang out for a few minutes before their next class. It was the only the same group that Monica avoided for the whole day since she constantly has to see her crush be with pucker-faced Danny Zuko with his idiot friends as an appetizer. And of course, who would be... To just be there adding nothing to the table but is loved by Nancy somehow. Nancy has so much love for everyone other than the one she actually loves. How ironic, isn't it? It was so painfully obvious since Tommy and Carol were their usual obnoxious selves, talking about only banging and parties. They stood by the wall next to a doorway that they walked through. They invited Nancy to a pool party. "On a Tuesday?" Nancy said in response. Carol caught a glance of Jonathan hanging out with Monica like good friends.

"Oh god. Look." Carol cringed through her chewing gum, causing them to turn their heads. Nancy saw her best friend with a subtle sense of flowers blooming inside. The funny feeling was always there, of course though, so she didn't try to question it. She wanted to talk to Monica desperately since she walked out on their conversation yesterday. She just wanted to ask if she was okay. I hope she doesn't think I'm annoyed with how much I've been talking about Steve... I couldn't blame her since his friends are a pair of assholes... She hates me, doesn't she? Stop it, Nancy Wheeler! It's okay. It's weird to be this obsessed with girls, remember?

"Oh god that's depressing." Steve whispers, his face slightly cringing at the sight.

Tommy, on the other hand, chews his gum with a devious smirk and has his arm sitting on the wall. "How much you wanna bet that he killed him?"

Steve playfully hits him with a small "Shut up!". He then saw Nancy's concerned face as her brow furrowed at the two. "Hey, get your friend to come. Her birthday is coming up, right? I'm sure she'll have fun."

"Oh I doubt it. She hates parties." One of the things Nancy knew about Monica was that she barely went to one of Nancy's popular friends' parties that she'd enjoy. Any kind of party, really. Not even the one she celebrates every year. "It's a long shot. She's been acting weird lately."

"Well, it doesn't hurt to try. Hey, you! Nancy's friend!" Steve loudly calls out to Jonathan and Monica who were trying to finish their goodbyes in peace. Steve didn't even get to remember her first name.

Monica's eyes close, facing Jonathan with closed lips. "Shit."

Jonathan quickly puts the rest of his papers in his bags once he sees Steve and his friends. Monica took some to hang around her neighborhood. "Have fun."

Thanks, Jonathan... But I won't, Monica thought to herself before she moved her feet toward the arrogant teens with a sense of defeat. She felt relief when seeing Nancy and Barb (sort of) there but the smell of hairspray was rotting her potential enjoyment. Nancy tries to stretch out a "hi" but it was filled with awkward nervousness. "Steve's having a pool party tonight and... I wanted to see if you wanna come..."

"Oh... a party?" At first, she wondered if Nancy had her breakfast this morning since she is the first person to know that parties and Monica do not mix well. Not even her birthday. It wasn't until Steve spoke was when he realized that it was Steve's plan.

"Oh it'll be small and low key. I just heard your birthday is coming up. So it seems like a win-win in my book." Steve tried his charm with his doe eyes in an attempt of convincing. 'Lowkey' sounds like sex.

As she pushes her lips to utter a STRONG "no" but she saw the pleading look in Nancy's eyes. As if she wouldn't know what to do if her best friend wasn't there to support her. Not even Barb could help. She missed her. She sighed in frustration, knowing she'll have the worst time of her life. "Sure. Why not?"

"Oh cool."

Kill me.

-

It grew dark and darker outside when Monica decided to dress up for the ugly party she was about to attend. Hours ago, she was outside, hanging posters for Will Byers all over the neighborhood that she could walk through while feeling more exhausted as each second went by. Now she was practically forced to go into a 'pool' party that she'll be the third wheel to. Well, at least she wouldn't be the third wheel alone. Like the other times like the Snow Ball... One of the worst moments of her life.

There was a sense of uneasiness when partying while the Byers family struggled to find the light in their lives. Joyce was losing it in less than two days and Jonathan is the worst that Monica ever saw of him. It was like her birthday never even crossed her mind. Everything around her was exploding out of her water so it feels like a shitty time to drink and laugh for fun. Well, to Monica, there was never a good time. It was all either gross, annoying, or isolated. Mostly all of those three.

In her shoe-sized bathroom, she managed to clean up her long black hair and made it clear she looked slightly presentable. Would it even matter if it's all in the dark anyway? It's not you're making out with Carol Perkins any time soon, she thought as she dressed up into a dark-striped long-sleeve, skinny jeans, a pair of boots, and her favorite bomber jacket over. "You look normal I guess." There was a loud honk right outside her house which was her cue for the party she was about to dread for a few hours. How great. Barb is here... she tried to smile through the pain. As she had made her way to the door and reached her hand for the rusty golden handle, the lights strangely were flickering off and on for a few seconds. Enough for her to look up and notice with a bit of curiosity. Must be the stupid electricity.

There sat a brown car across the sidewalk, showing Barb and Nancy in the front seats, gigging like teenage girls. Probably because they were teenage girls. She sighed, knowing what the conversation is going to be like for the next 25 minutes, and waved for their attention. Nancy caught eyes with Monica's deep brown eyes, glistening in the moonlight first, and nudged Barb. The redhead saw her and almost immediately unlocked the backdoor for her to sit in the backseat. Once Monica went inside, she shortly made quick 'hellos' to them both before Barb started the car up and drove off to Steve's mansion of a house...

As the girls in the front were talking about the party, Monica was mindlessly staring out the window while listening to "Africa" by Toto on the local radio. It's a full moon, Monica notices as Barb was humming the lyrics while Nancy sits with a tight smile on her face. It wasn't long until Nancy notices Monica's solemn expression and the lack of willingness to care.

"Yeah, Monica? You alright?" She looked through the dark reflection from the rearview mirror, revealing a very bored Monica slouching in the back.

Monica moved her eyes directly to her sitting in the passenger seat as if she snapped out of a mindless trance. "What?"

"You don't have to go, you know? I know... it's been hard with the Byers and stuff." Stuff like you saying that you love me, Monica thought but could never say aloud in front of Barb. Although Barb always felt like the person who was the third wheel in their whole trio friendship in Monica's mind. But that wasn't her fault.

"No, no it's fine, Nance. It's just weird to see you actually hang out with the likes of Steve Harrington and not want to punch his friends every second they're in the room."

"Well, I certainly don't like them but like I said, Steve is sweet."

Barb chimes in their discussion in agreement with Nancy. "Yeah, I mean he even made a pool party for your birthday. That has to count for something."

"See? Even Barb agrees. Why do you hate him, really? Besides from his hair?"

Monica then sits up from her seat and lean towards the front seats without a seatbelt around her waist. There wasn't that much fuss over it since it wasn't a tough drive. "Maybe because Steve doesn't deserve you and only wants you for sex?"

Nancy felt her heart sink like those words were real and meant something. "What?"

"Nancy, I know you like him but I don't know why you do. You two share nothing in common and he probably is dating you because like with Danny Zuko, you're a damsel in distress. Come on, he has nothing going for him so why waste time?" Monica bluntly states without any raising of her tone. She was annoyed and... angry how she wouldn't choose someone else. Anyone would be an option... with the exception of the likes of his friends. Finding at least someone who wasn't such... a jerk shouldn't be that hard. But she had to fall over Steve Harrington. What a load of bullshit. "He's not even that good looking."

Barb stops the car right near Steve's house after Monica's brutally honest confession about how she really felt. She was the first to walk to leave them a little bit of privacy. The car was silent for a few more seconds before Nancy spoke up. "Well, I promise you this... after tonight he'll prove you wrong. It'll suck knowing my own best friend hates my first real boyfriend."

"Well.. it'd be more likely if I smoked." Weed.

-

In the calm but a bit windy weather, Steve's party was by his gigantic pool which is the backyard of his two-story suburban house that his nuclear family birthed out. When Nancy, Barb, and Monica stood by his front door and saw him open it, he first greeted them in his home. He led Nancy first into the pool area while Monica and Barb had to follow them as they walked through the mess of a kitchen with a lot of plastic cups of liquor on the table and floor. 

The house was abandoned by the very teenagers, just like Steve described it would be. But there was a stinging feeling of someone watching them on Monica's end. But her disdain for Steve was stronger and more powerful for her to really investigate that feeling. By the time they were settled, Tommy and Carol were by the beach chairs, making out and drinking as usual. Nancy and Steve have their small talk that claws Monica's back internally. In all, while the radio was playing Top 50, Monica sat there, quiet and uncomfortable with Barb somehow there.

Luckily she had a drink of cheap bottled beer that Steve gave her when she came in and drank a small sip. Although the thought of her mother catching her with a sniff of alcohol on her would be terrifying, Monica assumed that she wouldn't even notice from overworking herself. She wanted her darndest to forget this night ever happened. Blocking it from her memory. So she stood up and asked Steve if he had any cigarettes. He then tossed her a red box lighter and a pack of Newborns. "Knock you out."

Monica quickly lit a cigarette and sucked in all of the sweet, intoxicating stench of tobacco. She may feel like a bullet wound but at least she could get lost in tobacco and pool water staring at her. I love how horrible cigarettes taste.

In the corner of Monica's right eye, she sees Steve Harrington chug down a beer and belch to the sky, a sight she would pay not to see again. Nancy made a forced smile where her teeth showed and called him "disgusting." Then Steve, out of the blue, challenged her to chug down a canned beer. At this point, Tommy and Carol gets in on the action, chanting her name to chug. Monica, knowing how much Nancy "hated" the taste of alcohol, felt intrigued. While Steve was watching, she managed to down the canned beer through the hole that Steve cut through with his pocket knife, and the gang all cheered. Well, all except for Monica and Barb. They both sat close together, isolated from the group and not cheering.

Nancy notices that Monica's eyes are stuck, staring at the water. Hey, Mon? You wanna-"

"No, thanks Nance. I kinda like my cigarettes."

"You sure?"

Barb pops up out of the stressed anticipation. "I'll do it. I haven't done anything for the past hour... Uh, do you have a beer?"

Monica looked at Barb with large eyes in massive disbelief while Steve struggled to grab another canned beer. It must mean something new for Barb and Monica if Nancy was willing to continue to destroy this relationship. Like a peace offering; to make a single sacrifice. Drink Steve's shitty beer. She held the blade with the tip of her left thumb to try to create a hole in the middle of the can but there was a mistake. She slipped and cut her thumb, leaving blood dripping over her hand. Nancy and Steve immediately try to aid her while Tommy and Carol snicker, doing nothing but adding useless commentary. Monica just sat there in shock, ending up feeling guilty. She shouldn't have taken the hit for me. Did she notice how salty I was being? I should thank her, Monica wonders in her mind as she watches Barb leaving to go to the bathroom inside the house.

Then out of nowhere in the middle of the silence between the rest of the group, Tommy decided to break the ice by pushing Carol into the water. Monica was fully awoken after this with a lighting cigarette still towards her brown-pink lips. "Oh my God! What the hell, Tommy?"

Tommy, himself, dives into the water while Steve and Nancy chuckle at them. Monica, once again, felt agonizing internal pain, watching them be social. Watching herself fade out of Nancy's life to see what her future could be like. And with that, all she could do was smoke as both Steve and Nancy jumped into the water, laughing. She also sense someone watching but she brushed it off.

They were messing around for a few minutes, splashing at each other until Nancy catches a glimpse of Monica hanging her hand low with a cigarette in her mouth. "Monica! Join in!"

Monica quickly raises her head up. "Uhhh... I'm not in a swimming mood right now. Wouldn't it be a sucky feeling to come out freezing cold but this already chilling weather? No thank you."

"Oh come on! It'll be fun." Nancy leans on the concrete while waddling her legs in place near where Monica sat.

"Yeah, no."

"It's your funeral." Nancy was about to head back to Steve when she seems to realize that she's forgotten something absolutely important. A funeral would be more fun than something like this, Monica pities herself in the whirlpool of thoughts that was in her brain. Nancy turned her head back and called her to come over there because she had something to tell her. For a brief second, she closed her eyes and flicks away her cigarette before walking over to Nancy.

"What is it?" Monica knelt down to Nancy's level with her wet curls glistening against the moonlight sky on a chill night in November. She simply smirks at her being distracted and grabs her hand that was placed on her knee, from kneeling. Therefore, pulling Monica into the chilling water with her.

At that moment, Monica breaks her usual moody act from being around Steve and laughs. "Nancy, literally screw you!"

Nancy gasps right after she feels a splash from Monica. "It was so easy! Don't blame me!"

Maybe life could return to normal but just with Steve in the picture... It's not like they're actually in love, right?

-

The day is darker and darker as it hits close to midnight when the gang dries themselves up inside Steve's messy living room. Monica was drenched in pool water that reeked from chlorine which was a sort of a relief that she doesn't have to smell like cigarettes and alcohol around her mother, if she was even around awake this late at night. It was hard, of course, how strict she was with herself when masking her outer appearance to people surround her, trying no to cause any trouble in her life. Either way, Monica liked that she doesn't smell like a 40-year-old casting agent in uptown New York. Nice work, Wheeler.

Regardless of the smell, she still felt a sting of jealousy being nothing but best friends with someone that she was willing to spend her whole life with. But this wasn't the fantasy that she imagined herself to be in. It was a long shot that she and Nancy would work due to the world they live in but she has a deep down feeling that they are going to drift away like Monica was a layer of skin that Nancy would waste no time peeling off. It was only a matter of time.

Steve whispered something to Nancy with "that" smirk and told her if she needed a new shirt, he could give her one. This was the part where Monica becomes distant in the conversation while Tommy and Carol giggle at the thought of Nancy "spending the night." It angered her but she couldn't say anything or else Nancy could hate her. She knew that Nancy was the type to see the best in people that didn't deserve it. Including her own best friend.

He grabbed Nancy by the hand and proceeded to the stairs while Tommy and Carol lay on the brown leather couch, making out. Any second more that Monica could've spent in there, she would've witnessed a massive invasion of everyone's privacy. So what else could she do? Wait while Nancy and Steve bang it out so she swims further into misery? She, instead, sped up to the backdoor to ask Barb, sitting down by the pool, to take her home. It seemed like waiting was the number one way of breaking your own heart and wasting your time.

But as she touches the handle, someone calls out her name. Nancy. "Hey! Where are you going?"

Monica tried to swallow her anger as much as she could when responding. "Home. I just need some sleep."

"Oh, okay..." Nancy knew from Monica's face that she wasn't having a good time. "Are you okay? You don't hate me or something, right?"

"No, of course not, Nancy..." Monica starts off, feeling her rage boiling up. "I just... hate everyone around you. I've been the third wheel this whole time when this whole 'pool'party, which you know I hate, is supposed to be my birthday party. I didn't really have fun other than being soaked in cholorine. Everyone is either making out or drinking themself into acholol poisoning."

"And you wanna know what the best part is... my own best friend of ten years doesn't even want to be around me anymore without dragging her snobbish boyfriend into the mix. It's like... you're a different person. We don't even do Nancy Drew book readings anyone!" 

Although Nancy didn't want to admit it, she knew that some part of her was forced. Dating a guy like Steve wasn't something she would ultimately do. But he was her key to normalcy. Monica couldn't give her that even though she was the one for her. And Steve really wasn't a bad guy... Nancy saw him as more of an opportunity than a fulfilling relationship. Monica's words cut like knives as she listened to vent out her feelings. Nancy immediately get defensive. "First of all, I couldn't do those readings again because of my grades, not Steve. He tried to be nice to you. You're the one who doesn't want me around. I don't know you've been such a bitch lately but this... whatever this is... needs to stop. We're best friends and best friends don't get jealous over boyfriends. I thought you would be happy for me. But you're acting like I'm your girlfriend or something..."

Monica scoffs in massive disbelief while sweating underneath her drenched clothes. She wanted to tell her off and tell her the truth of how much better off she is with someone better. Even if it's not her. "Wow. That just-- You know what, have a nice night, Wheeler. When you stop pretending you're someone that you're not, call me and so we can be normal again together."

With that, she walked out of the conversation, heated yet heartbroken. All of her life, she had a crush on Nancy Wheeler since they were kindergarteners, living on a shared interest in Nancy Drew books. More than 5 years of obsessing and falling in love with her best friend were now destroyed after that conversation and it was at that moment that she wondered if Nancy was ever going to come back. What if I wasn't that important? She does have Barb after all. Did I make a mistake? These thoughts pondered her mind for the last few minutes. Whatever was going to happen, she was exhausted and needed to get some sleep.

Walking across the pool she came by Barb, who seems to be fixated on her bleeding hand wound that was rushly bandaged up. Monica sniffled while she tried to play off cool still, wanting to leave. "Hey, Barb? Are you doing okay?"

"Oh, hey, Monica. Yeah, my hand is okay I guess. Where's Nancy?"

"With... Steve... I don't think she's coming with us." Monica's eyes were red and watery with a sudden urge to smoke her problems away. "I'm ready to go."

"Oh... okay? Hey, can you get my stuff? I think I left it inside. It's only a small bag so it wouldn't hurt or anything, right?"

The innocent look in Barb's tired eyes was something Monica was never going to forget. The night itself was something she'll never forget. "Yeah, yeah it's fine. I'll be right back."

Five minutes later after grabbing Barb's stuff, Monica headed back to the pool in hopes that she would finally go home. She certainly could use the break from everything else crumbling around her. Only to her surprise, she found no one there entirely. As if Barb evaporated in thin air out of nowhere. Monica, of course, became dumbfounded and called out her name with her bag in her hand. She looks around the area with a slightly faster heart rate than she had before. She grew hotter inside her body full of nervousness and sweat even with the 65-degree weather. But, as always, she tricked herself into being her constant assuming the worst like everything else. Like with Will Byers. She concluded to herself that Barb was simply in the car as she stood there for any longer. She headed for the backdoor for a shortcut to Barb's car through the trees.

As she gripped Barb's bag, she stomped up foot by foot getting over the hill at a slow pace. The words of Nancy Wheeler just couldn't escape her mind to break her already shattered heart.

We're best friends and best friends don't get jealous over boyfriends.

Best friends. What that meant to Monica, she was clear of. But they both felt something. No boy on the planet, especially Steve, could ever replicate that. But... does it matter was the real question that Monica needs to be answered. Are all the feelings worth it, considering how Nancy's so blinded to what love is "supposed" to look like rather than what it is? Is Monica wasting her time away from a slight chance of the only crush she dreamed of being with for a decade? Or... was she just selfish and delusional for wanting something? The way she acted all night, hell the whole duration about Steve to Nancy was bitter. She should be happy for her best friend, but the fact was that her emotion took over and may have created something that wasn't even there, to begin with. She just didn't want to hurt Nancy... Which was something she probably did as Monica really thought about it...

Now she slogged her way through the forest wishing the night would just end like her biggest dreams. But she stopped, slamming down the bag on the ground, and sat against a large tree to let out a few tears. I was such a bitch to her. It'll be no surprise that she must hate me. Considering how bad of a friend I am.

"Fuck tonight. This sucks." She softly uttered through her silent tears, knowing no one could hear. She buried her red face as the night grew colder and colder. The moon was wide awake and the sound of crickets surrounded her ears in a calm yet tedious matter. Like the sound of snowy wind during a disastrous blizzard. It all became white noise to her silent sobbing.

Out of the blue, there was a quiet sound of growling and clicking like an agitated reptile waiting for its next meal. The stench of fresh blood begins to brew in the wind once the night falls harder and colder. There was a slight moment, while it wasn't certain in her mind when she felt a tingling sensation around her buried shoulders and neck. Oddly hot against the fall winds as the growls grew louder and louder. Whether she liked it or not, there was a threat incoming for her space and she needed to act quickly.

Alas, she sniffled her now dry tears and slowly rose her head up second by second to see a shadow of a figure shaped like a bear mixed with a human, staring at her with little movement. Only with the desire to strike at any moment. Her heart rate became rapid and started to grasp for air in true fear. She knew that she had to run but all she did was crawl away from her spot as quickly as possible.

The "animal" saw this as a gateway of an easy kill and pounced directly toward her. Monica was now laid flat on her back, finally able to get a horrifying glimpse of the monster that towered over her. Slimy with a million sharp teeth aligned in a "star" shape. It was a disgusting form of a mouth. Nothing else flew into Monica's brain but the simple words, "I don't wanna die please" with loud screaming. With each inch closer the monster got to her glistening face, and her screams became more distraught. Hoping someone would hear. No one could.

The Demogorgon got her.