Chapter 37: Fear Of Power
Blue: So...how are we gonna sort this out?
Blue²: The trauma? Or the part about you talking to yourself a lot?
Blue: Yes.
Blue²:......We don’t know
Blue: Indeed. Also, you barely show up as stated before. You're basically worse than a side character.
Blue², without missing a beat, dropped his next line with perfect timing.
Blue²: Fuck us.
Blue: Hah
The two exchanged another long, comfortable silence. It was a strange form of therapy, these little interactions, but they’d gotten used to it. They could talk about their deepest fears or make jokes that no one else would understand.
Then Blue², his expression shifting slightly, nudged the conversation back to reality.
Blue²: Alright, wake up, you've got weight on you
Blue: Deadweight?
Blue²: No, Nero is not there, it's our.....your girls
Blue: Are you a communist now?
Blue²: I am you
Blue: You truly are my special
Blue²: You still need to watch the Movie
Blue: When I get back from Alaska.
The conversation ended on that odd note, and Blue²’s form began to blur and fade as Blue slowly returned to reality, the dream world unraveling around him.
Blue woke up slowly, the weight of Eveline and Daniela still resting on him.
Blue: When did these two-? Ah nevermind, it's nice
With careful movements, he gently shifted their sleeping forms off his lap and into the chair he had been dozing on. He managed not to disturb them, watching for a moment as they both stayed peacefully asleep, before standing up quietly.
He felt the chill in the air immediately, the base's cold seeping into his bones as he walked out of the room. Heading outside, he pushed open the heavy door and stepped into the biting Alaskan winter.
He always did prefer the cold conditions to the hot ones. Snow began to fall, tiny flakes catching in his hair as he paced slowly around the perimeter of the base.
The mission ran through his mind. They were close, almost done. Two outposts cleared, but the third would be harder, the biggest of the three, likely more heavily guarded and more difficult to reclaim.
At least now they had the numbers: Jill, Claire, Ada, Heisenberg, the Dimitrescu Sisters, and the others. He was relieved that no one had fallen yet, but that relief didn’t come without worry.
They were strong, but Wesker was different. He didn’t know the man personally, not like Jill or Claire did. But their brief fight had shown him enough, the speed, the power, Wesker had made Blue feel like an amateur.
He rubbed his gloved hands together for warmth, exhaling sharply. The fear of using his powers fully, combined with the trauma of his past, had held him back.
But now, with the stakes higher than ever, he wondered if he could continue holding himself back like this. The snow kept falling, blanketing the ground and painting the already white landscape an even deeper shade of cold silence.
Blue ran a hand through his hair, brushing off the accumulated snowflakes.
He thought about the team inside, the friends, lovers...people who trusted him, who believed in him. And Wesker....a threat to everything and everyone they had fought for.
As much as Blue hated to admit it, the fight against Wesker might require more than just strength and speed. It might demand everything he had...the very powers he was scared of.
The weight of responsibility pressed down on him like the snow now falling faster, and as he circled back toward the entrance of the base, he felt very conflicted.
As Blue continued his slow walk around the base, the weight of his thoughts grew heavier with each step. He knew he could beat Wesker, he had the strength, the speed, and the abilities.
He would make lightwork of Wesker!
But those abilities...those powers he could never fully accept. Not after learning the truth about his origins....about how he wasn't even a real human....
Just an artificially created experiment that would've been used for atrocities. It was a revelation that had shattered him when he first found out.
He had lived his entire life thinking he was just a kid with some quirks....enhanced strength, speed, the kind of things he thought made him special in a good way.
But when Miranda had temporarily killed him during their fight, he rediscovered his past....and was never the same.
The memories flooded back...the lab, the tests, the constant monitoring. He wasn’t a miracle of nature...he was an experiment.
A Weapon.
And then there was Ezekiel...the man who had been hunting him relentlessly, not just out of some twisted sense of duty, but for revenge. Revenge for what Blue had done, even though Blue hadn’t meant to do it.
The explosion....that horrible day in the lab.
Blue stopped walking and looked up at the sky, his breath fogging in the cold air. The snowflakes settled gently around him, but he felt anything but at peace.
He had lost control, back then. He hadn’t even known what he was capable of. The powers inside him had flared up in a moment of panic and fear. And in that moment....everyone in the lab had died.
The fiery explosion he had caused had consumed them all. The scientists, the guards.....
And Abigail.
Blue clenched his fists, his jaw tightening as the memory of her face flashed in his mind. Abigail had been his first friend. The only other child in that cold, sterile lab.
She had been so full of life, so kind despite the environment she would visit to see him. They had spent countless hours together, talking, laughing, dreaming of the day that Blue might leave the lab.
She had been just a little girl. Same age as him. And she had died in that explosion, her life snuffed out in an instant because of him. Because he couldn’t control his powers.
And that’s why Ezekiel hated him. That’s why he wanted him back....dead. Blue had taken everything from Ezekiel the day he accidentally killed his daughter.
The guilt of it had never left him. It sat there, deep in his chest, gnawing at him. How could he trust himself with those powers now?
How could he ever use them fully, knowing what he had done, knowing what he was capable of?
His fingers twitched as if remembering the power that coursed through him. He knew, deep down, that using his powers was the only way to defeat Wesker.
To protect his friends...to stop the Flower Mold from spreading and save the world. But the fear...fear of losing control again, fear of causing more destruction, of hurting the people he cared about, it kept holding him back.
Blue took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, watching the mist of his breath disappear into the cold air. He knew the stakes.
He knew what had to be done. But accepting that part of himself....the part that had caused so much pain...it was something he wasn’t sure he could ever do.
And yet, the world depended on it. His friends depended on it. The weight of that responsibility settled over him like the falling snow.
With his eyes closed, Blue whispers a silent apology to Abigail. She didn't deserve the fate that had befallen her, and every time he thought of his powers, her face was the first thing that came to mind.
The memory haunted him, driving his fear of fully embracing the abilities that made him different.
Blue: I'm....so sorry, Abigail....please forgive this idiot
His chest tightened, the weight of that day heavy on his heart. He opened his eyes, staring out at the snow-covered landscape, lost in thought, when he suddenly heard footsteps approaching.
Ashley: Blue?
It was Ashley's voice, soft and concerned. She had been looking for him, worried after not seeing him for a while. When she found him standing alone outside, she could immediately tell something was wrong.
Ashley: What are you doing out here?
Blue: Just...thinking.
Ashley: It's....about your powers...right?
Blue: Yeah. I just....I don’t know if I can keep using them. I know they’re useful, but every time I do, it reminds me of the things I’ve done. The things I can’t undo
Ashley: Blue, I want to understand. Maybe I can help!
At first, Blue hesitated. He didn't want to burden her with his past, with the tragedy that had shaped his fear of his abilities.
But something about the way Ashley looked at him...earnest and compassionate, made him feel like maybe, just maybe, he could open up. So, after a moment of silence, he began to tell her everything.
He explained the lab, the tests, and how he had been created as an experiment. He told her about Abigail, the first friend he had ever made, and how his lack of control had led to the explosion that killed everyone in the lab....including her.
Ashley listened intently, her face filled with shock as Blue recounted the painful memory. When he finished, there was a long pause. Ashley's heart ached for him.
She could see how deeply the guilt was ingrained in him, how it held him back from embracing who he truly was.
Ashley: Blue....you didn’t ask for any of this. You didn’t ask to be made in a lab or to have these powers. And you didn’t mean for Abigail to die.
Blue: But I killed her, Ashley...I wasn’t in control, and now she’s gone because of this idiot standing before you
Ashley: You're not an idiot! It wasn’t your fault, you were just a little boy, Blue. You didn’t know what you were capable of. You didn’t want to hurt anyone.
He looked away, still struggling to accept her words. But Ashley wasn’t finished.
Ashley: You’re not the monster they wanted you to be. You’re your own person now, these powers, they aren’t a curse. They are a gift because you use them to save people.
Blue: I-I have barely used them to save people, because I've also taken lives with it
Ashley: While that is true, you should also look at what good things you’ve done so far. You’ve freed so many people from the Flower Mold, you’ve fought to protect your friends. You’re not the same person who lost control back then!
Blue: But...I...I can’t forget what happened.
Ashley: I know, but you can move forward. You’re a good person, Blue. You’re Ethan’s Brother. You’re the kindest person I know....and [Blushes] you are the boy I love.
Blue: Wait.......what?
Before he could fully process what she had just said, Ashley leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. The warmth of her kiss contrasted with the cold air around them, and for a moment, everything else faded away.
When she pulled back, Blue stood there, wide-eyed and speechless.
Blue: Ashley....what was that? ._.
Ashley: I....love you, Blue...I can't hide it anymore
Blue: But...why?
Ashley: [Giggles] I don’t need an explanation. I just do.
He was still stunned, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened.
Blue: Did you...talk to the other girls about this?
Ashley: Yep! Eveline and Daniela already know. Donna doesn’t, but...well, we still have to free her. I’m sure she’ll understand!
Blue: She probably will...but...um...I think I’m going to rest a bit. I can still feel Wesker's attacks ;_;
Ashley: But don’t you have a healing factor?
Blue: I do, but some pain just doesn’t seem to go away T_T
Ashley: T-T-That’s my bad, do you...want to cuddle for a bit? We still have a couple of hours until we need to leave.
Blue looked at her, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Blue: Sure, why not?
As Blue settled back down to get more rest with Ashley, they both relaxed into the comfortable warmth of each other's presence.
Blue could feel his muscles slowly easing from the tension that had built up during the mission. Ashley, content to be by his side, snuggled up close, her head resting against his chest as they both drifted off into a quiet nap.
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the outpost, Eveline kept a watchful eye on Miranda. Despite the chains that bound her, Eveline didn't trust her former Mother figure to stay quiet for long.
And just as expected, Miranda forced another conversation, much like the ones they’d had before.
Miranda: You’re still watching me like a hawk, Eveline
Eveline: Of course I am. I don’t trust you.
Miranda chuckled softly, an almost nostalgic sound.
Miranda: It’s funny, you used to follow me everywhere, and now here we are, playing this game of suspicion.
Eveline didn't respond right away. It was true, once upon a time, they were like Mother and Daughter. But that was a long time ago, and things had changed.
Miranda: You know, we used to talk like this, but I guess now I’m the one being watched. How times have changed.
Eveline gave her a sidelong glance, not fully trusting this seemingly casual conversation.
Eveline: Yeah, well, you’re not exactly the same person either. I’m not here for bonding time.
Miranda chuckled, though there was something softer in her tone this time.
Miranda: No, I suppose not. But....it doesn’t hurt to talk, does it?
Eveline sighed, finding herself pulled into the conversation despite her better judgment.
Eveline: Fine. What do you want to talk about?
Miranda: Your powers. I was always fascinated by what you could do. But now....you can’t use them anymore, can you?
Eveline: No....ever since I got stuck in Blue’s head, something changed. I haven’t been able to use them.
Miranda: And now? Now you’re just...normal?
Eveline: Yes, now, I’m just...a normal girl.
Miranda studied her for a few seconds before speaking again, her voice more sincere than Eveline had ever heard it.
Miranda: And do you like that? Being normal, I mean?
Eveline....I do. For once, I’m not....some weapon or tool for someone else. I’m just me...it feels...peaceful.
Miranda’s eyes softened ever so slightly, a rare glimpse of the woman she once was before everything fell apart.
Miranda: I can understand that, sometimes, we get so lost in our power, we forget what it’s like to just be. To live without the weight of expectations and control.
Eveline: You really think that?
Miranda let out a small, bitter laugh.
Miranda: I’m not as heartless as you think, Eveline. I used to want something simple too, once. A life with my Daughter...a normal life. But when that illness took you, I became obsessed, and well....you know the rest.
For a moment, the air between them felt less hostile, more like a quiet understanding. Eveline was no longer the same weaponised girl she had been.
And Miranda, despite everything, seemed less the imposing villain she once was. It was as if they were both acknowledging the past but not fully trapped by it anymore.
Eveline shifted her weight, her guard lowering just a bit.
Eveline: So....if you could go back, would you?
Miranda: I don’t know. There’s so much I regret, but I think...we always end up where we’re meant to be, one way or another.
Eveline looked away, her mind swirling with thoughts. She knew she would never forgive Miranda for everything, but this brief moment of shared vulnerability was something she hadn't expected.
Miranda, sensing the shift, allowed herself a small smile.
Miranda: I guess we’re more alike than you think.
Eveline: Yeah, well, you can keep the crazy part
Miranda laughed softly, amused by the remark.
Miranda: Fair enough.
They sat in silence for a few moments longer, the tension between them replaced by an odd, fragile truce. Even though Eveline would never fully trust Miranda, there was something in this conversation that felt...different.
It was almost like, for a brief moment, they were the Mother and Daughter they once were all those years ago.
Miranda glanced at Eveline with curiosity, a soft expression crossing her face.
Miranda: What do you plan to do when all this is over? When the fighting ends and both Wesker and the Flower Mold is dealt with?
Eveline: I don’t know. Maybe...figure out what it means to live a normal life. I've never really had one, but I do know one thing, I’m staying with Blue. He...he makes me feel like I’m more than just...well whatever I was in the Baker house.
Miranda: He is a strong anchor for you. I’ve seen how much he cares for you, even in the smallest moments. But just be careful, Eveline, sometimes, when people carry the weight of the world on their shoulders...they break.
Eveline: He’s not going to break. Not with me and the others by his side.
Miranda: I hope you’re right.
The two of them fell into a quiet, thoughtful silence. For the first time in a long while, it felt like there was no need for hostility or manipulation. They were simply two individuals, reflecting on their pasts and uncertain futures.
__________________________
Meanwhile, Blue had fallen deeper into his slumber, his mind drifting into another dream. But this time, Blue² wasn’t there to meet him.
Instead, Blue found himself standing alone in a forestn a strange and unsettling place, where the vibrant beauty of a utopia merged with the decayed ruins of a dystopia.
Towering trees with glowing, luminescent leaves stood alongside crumbling buildings overrun with vines and decay.
The air was thick with an eerie, unnatural quiet. Blue looked around in confusion, his senses tingling as he felt something off about this place.
Blue: Where in the Bing Chilling and I?
Suddenly, a voice echoed from behind him, a deep, chilling sound made up of multiple tones as if many voices were speaking in unison.
???: You...are witnessing the future vision of this world.
Blue whipped around, his heart pounding. What he saw before him made his blood run cold, standing there, in the flesh, was his brother Ethan.
But something was wrong. Ethan’s eyes glowed with an unnatural light, and there was a darkness that seemed to emanate from his entire being.
Blue: Ethan?
The figure took a step closer, and Blue could see the subtle distortions in his brother’s form. His skin was pale and cracked, as though it were barely holding together.
???: This is Ethan's body. But it is not Ethan himself.
Blue: No...you’re not him. You’re the thing taking over his body.....the Flower Mold itself....
Flower: Indeed, welcome, Blue Winters....to our Vision
___________________________________
Oooooo, the meet up is starting.
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