I stood outside the door, heart pounding. My hopes at the moment were raised as high as the ceiling, and it wouldn't take much for them to come crashing down.

What else could Peggy have been referring to? And whatever it was, if it wasn't Thomas, I didn't want it.

I found myself frozen to the spot. What would I say to him, if he was awake? What did I expect after all of this, for everything to go back to normal? How could anything ever be the same again for me?

Closing my eyes, I widened the crack in the door slowly so I didn't make any noise and alert Thomas of my entrance. I needed to have a moment, if he was awake, to see him. To soak him in.

I slipped inside, feet brushing against the soft, unworn carpeting and stopped right next to one of the bookshelves.

My breathing hitched in my throat at what I saw.

There he was, perfect in every aspect. Even better than I had remembered or imagined.

He was sitting up in bed with the blankets still covering his lower body. His head was resting on one hand, the other holding the book that was sitting in his lap. A pair of birds, Amica and one other that I didn't recognize, were brushing his hair. The other held the strand of hair while Amica would brush it. I couldn't hide my smile.

The room was just as alive as he was. Birds and butterflies of all shapes and sizes were perched in different places, though each one was relatively quiet and content in their joined song.

I leaned against the wall and watched Thomas quietly. I soaked in the moment and its entirety, careful not to miss out on any detail. The cute yet bored expression on his face as he flipped through the pages, the way the sunlight from the window danced across his face just right, the wonderfully peaceful nature of the room.

But before I had enough time, Belletra erupted from my coat pocket and let out the loudest noise a bird could make as she hurtled herself towards Thomas. He glanced up at her and grinned. "Yes! Yes, Belletra! I missed you too!" He pulled her out of the air and held her to his chest, running his fingers down her back.

A second later, and he glanced up.

The gentle, almost embarrassed smile on Thomas's face froze as he shooed away the birds and moved his hand to his cheek.

"Hi," he murmured, voice hoarse from lack of use.

"Hi," I returned.

There were so many things I wanted to do. To run to him, wrap my arms around him, kiss him. Instead, I settled on walking over to the bed and sitting down on the side and shooting him a smile.

"I missed you," I said simply.

Thomas slid his hand to mine almost hesitantly, pausing just inches away from my skin. I gripped it and tightened for a second, feeling the familiar warmth and pulse of blood.

And then, the dam broke.

"I missed you so much," I repeated, staring at the bed, trying not to cry.

"Alex," he said softly, leaning forwards.

I lunged forwards before he could say anything else and wrapped my arms around the back of his neck. He caught me readily, and there was no pause when I felt his arms return the gesture, holding me gently.

"I'm alright Alexander," he murmured.

"I missed you so much," was all I could utter. "I missed you so damn much. Don't ever do that again, understand? I... I thought that—"

"Hey, hey," Thomas quickly cut me off. "I'm alright! We're alright, we're all alright."

I pulled him closer, burying my face in the crook of his neck. It felt so incredibly good just to be able to again.

"You knew I would be alright, didn't you?"

"I knew," I returned. "I knew but I was still so afraid. I was so worried that something bad would happen, that I would never get to see you again, that you would..."

His breathing slowed gently, each inhale and exhale perfectly timed. I followed his breathing pattern to calm myself down.

After what was hardly enough time, he let go of me and pulled away. His touch lingered.

His gaze met mine, and heat shot up to my face as the stupidity of what I had just done sunk in. 

"Sorry," I breathed. "I didn't mean to—"

"Why are you apologizing?" Thomas's fingers slipped away from mine, but his smile widened. "It's okay, Alexander. I missed you too."

I tried to hide the depth of my inhale. That single sentence disturbed the butterflies in my stomach. I held his gaze for a moment longer before dropping it to the blanket.

A beat passed. "I won't tell anyone."

"What?!" My head shot up.

"About your secret."

"My secret?"

"Yeah," Thomas said. There didn't seem to be a shift in his mood. "About the whole Philip thing? I won't tell anyone."

"Oh," I exhaled in relief. "Yeah. Wait, what? How do you know about that?!"

"You were talking about it right in front of me?"

"But you were—"

Thomas laughed. It was adorable, the way he did it. His hand rose to cover his mouth, as if his smile was a secret he couldn't share with anyone. "I was still aware, Alex. I could feel and hear. I just couldn't move my body."

Every emotion drained out of me at once, replaced by cold hard dread.

"The entire time?"

"Well, no. I mean, I slept too at some points." He sighed, eyes drifting to the window. "It was just a way to fix myself without using up my energy for other, more mundane things."

"Did it work?"

The mood changed immediately. As subtle as he tried to make it, I saw the way his posture shifted and his lips tightened. But just as quickly as it had come, it passed. His mouth formed the shape of a smile.

"I think so!" Before I could continue, he let out a yawn. "I'm exhausted. But I also really want to go outside and see the world and destroy something. How long was I out?"

"About four months."

Thomas winced. "Divinity's children. Alexander, I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to be gone for so long. I—"

"Hey, it's alright. You needed time to heal. I don't blame you. If you're tired though, you should probably get some sleep."

He sighed and leaned back. "Always the sensible one." He said it wryly. His wings stretched out and flared, putting each brilliant white feather on display. "Do you know how much it hurts to lay on your wings for a long period of time?"

"Yeah," I returned, unable to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. "I know that exact same feeling. It hurts a lot, doesn't it?"

He responded by swatting me on the arm.

"Okay, look, Jefferson," I teased in mock anger. "I can leave if you want me to—"

"No!" he quickly protested, sitting back up. His hand wrapped around my arm. When I laughed, he continued with, "please don't leave."

"I wouldn't now."

Thomas slid back again, this time pulling me down with him. "The whole cuddling thing was super sweet," he explained before I could launch into any embarrassed rambling. "I was thinking that maybe we could—of course if you didn't want to, that's totally fine and I wouldn't blame you but—"

"No! No. It's fine."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely!"

Thomas flashed me another smile and shifted closer to me. Whether it was intentional or just a way to get comfortable, I could not tell.

"I'm sorry about this, by the way. The whole cuddling thing. I didn't... I guess that makes me a bad person but I didn't know that you could feel it and—"

Thomas cut me off with a short, soft laugh. "Please don't apologize. It made me happy." He smiled at me, pulling the blanket closer to his face. "You know what? After I get out of here, we should put a day aside so I can show you the village, Migellis. It's actually quite a beautiful place when you aren't being chased and attacked by Kingsmen." He paused, thinking about something. "Or even, if you wanted, I could take you to Avionerra. You could see my home!"

"That sounds wonderful," I responded without thinking. "I mean great! That sounds great." Wonderful was just a bit too intimate, too revealing of how I felt.

"Actually, it's probably better we don't go to Avionerra."

"Why's that? Isn't that your home?"

"It is! And I'll always think of it as one, but my mother really wants me to test to see if I'm going to be the next lord, and I frankly don't want to find out. Either way, lord or not, I'll have to get married immediately to someone I hardly know and start a family and stuff and I... I don't wanna do that. Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"No, it's fine. How do you test to see if you're lord or not? I'm guessing obstacle course. Or a display of magic? Pull a sword from a stone? Kill something?"

"Nope, nope, nope, and no. I get to touch a tree."

I frowned. "That's it?"

Thomas nodded, but a smile soon followed. "Stupid, isn't it? That we leave all our important decisions up to a tree?"

"Yeah, no kidding."

He watched me for a while before yawning again. He fought against it at first, tightening his jaw so it wouldn't come out, and when it did, he tried to hide it with his hand, but in the end the yawn won. "I'm tired."

"You can get some sleep if you want," I murmured.

"But you're—"

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere."

Thomas closed his eyes, smile widening.

It could've been seconds or minutes later before he was asleep.

This time was different. His chest was moving up and down consistently, in a perfectly timed pattern that was just enough for me to not doubt that he was alive and okay. He would sometimes smile and shift in his sleep, also signals that he was still with me.

My arms found their way safely wrapped around his body.

What did any of this mean? Did Thomas know that I liked him? I mean, he knew I had slept next to him when I couldn't by myself, and I wouldn't completely discard that he knew about the kiss.

But if he knew, why didn't he say anything?

I mulled on the thought for too long, but promptly abandoned it as my eyelids started to grow heavy. Thomas was close to me, so close I could feel the heat pulsing off of him. My skin was barely brushing against his, but any closer and I would shatter into pieces.

I didn't fall asleep completely, but my bearing on the world slowly fell into a fuzzy and distant memory.

It felt so nice in the late morning sunlight that beamed through the window, laying next to Thomas, whose hand had found its way to my arm. His wings were splayed behind him, his body turned in towards me. The butterflies that had previously been spread amongst the room in their own respective posts had now congregated on his skin, leaving the white and pink flower petals all over him.

"I'm so glad you're alright," I murmured, brushing my hand against his cheek.

I must have drifted off for a while then, because the next thing I remember was the sound of a door pushed against a wall. I opened my eyes, greeted by Angelica entering. The sunbeams had retreated just a little, signifying that it was probably noon or even after.

"Hey," Angelica said sullenly. Still in my drunken-on-sleep state, I couldn't figure out why.

"Hey," I returned, sitting up and stretching out my arms. When they fell to my side, I grinned down at the sleeping Thomas.

"You're happy today."

"Mhmm."

Angelica paused, setting down the silver tray of food with a clink. "Did he...?"

I nodded.

"And you let him go back to sleep?!" she snapped suddenly, catching me by surprise. She marched over to the bed and ripped the blanket off of Thomas. "Get up you useless lump!"

Thomas whined almost incoherently and moved closer to me. "Mmmmmhhhh. Alex?"

"Yes b-Thomas?" I returned, biting down on my tongue so I didn't call him something that would have been much too inappropriate.

"Make her go away."

"Get up, now."

"Kill her," Thomas muttered.

"Thomas, I swear to all things Divinity created, if you don't get up now I will pluck out every last one of your feathers."

Thomas sat up and glared at Angelica. "I'm up, okay?"

"You know very well that you could've gone back into your coma. You can't go to bed within twenty four hours of—"

"Yeah, okay. I get it." Thomas turned and flashed me a smile, his hand falling to mine. "I'm awake."

Angelica preceded to, much to his annoyance, check up on him and make sure he was alright and everything was okay.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Thomas snapped after about two minutes. "When can I leave?"

"You can start walking around tomorrow."

Thomas groaned and fell backwards, hitting the pillows very audibly. He opened a single eye and glanced up at me. "Can you believe this bullshit?"

"Thomas, I don't want you to get hurt," I returned. "So yes. I can believe this bullshit."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

"Well, I'll leave you two to whatever this is and go tell everyone you're alright, Thomas."

Thomas nodded and sat up once more, pulling his legs close to his body. After Angelica left and gently closed the door, his eyes fell to the tray of food she had left on the table.

"Hey, Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to eat any of that?"

"It's all yours," I said, slipping out of bed and bringing it to him. The smell of the spiced meat and freshly cooked bread was enticing.

Thomas ate half of it ravenously. The other half he left on the plate and pushed it towards me.

And for the first time in a few days, I ate. But this time, I ate happily.