LADY RUSSAMEE

THE PAST

Why did I agree to this?

I have plenty of time to tell Alice I couldn't go not because something came up but because I changed my mind.

Once I had the chance to process our conversation, I realized I shouldn't have said yes.

I never usually associate with employees outside of work.

This was a clear boundary I made for myself and I haven't cross it.

Until now.

But the other part of me was looking forward to going out.

I haven't had a vacation since the dermatology department opened a year ago.

The project required so much of my time and my goal was to make sure it was successful.

I accomplished that.

But I still didn't give myself a break.

I just kept working in search of the next big thing.

To be clear, I liked what I'm doing.

The accomplishments I achieved were more than enough to keep me going.

But why am I anticipating this trip with Alice?

It wasn't like I'm going somewhere special.

Her place was just outside the city.

We weren't going somewhere fancy.

Could it be because I was spending time with her that's why I don't really care where we go?

Why am I having these thoughts about her?

It had been a year since we last saw each other.

She had changed a lot since then.

For one, she blossomed.

I changed too.

Better, wiser, prouder.

That was how things were supposed to happen.

Time passed, we change hopefully into better version of ourselves.

It was completely normal.

What was unusual was how everytime we interact with each other, there was something in me that was new.

I was happier and smiled more.

What a silly thought really.

I am happy.

I smile.

Well, only when required.

Not as a reflex or because something or someone actually made me feel like there was something to smile about.

Just her.

Alice.

The girl who without even trying could make me say yes to a spontaneous invite.

***

When four o'clock rolled in, I was still thinking of whether to tell her I couldn't go.

But I finished the day's tasks just in case I change my mind again.

This was so infuriating for me.

I wasn't fickle.

I was self-assured and knew what I wanted.

I checked my watch and told myself to make a decision.

I could meet her at the bus stop and apologize that something important came up.

She seemed reasonable.

Alice knew how busy I was.

She would understand.

Right?

I got in my car and decided not to go with Alice.

But since she was probably waiting for me at the bus stop, I decided to show up and tell her in person.

From afar, I saw her standing beside the stop sign.

There were other people there waiting with her but she was all alone.

Something in my heart stirred.

Do I really want to disappoint her because I was scared of how my association with her could be construed?

Since when did I begin putting an importance to other people's opinions?

I slowly drove to where she was standing and stopped near the curb.

When Alice saw me pull up, she smiled and walked closer.

I unlocked the door and she went in.

"Ready?" Her eyes were bright and glowing.

"Tell me where to go," I gave her the biggest smile and all thoughts of abandoning this trip flew out the window.

***

Once we were outside the city limits, the sceneries changed.

At first, I was driving alongside buses, trucks, motorcycles and cars.

The farther we drove, the less vehicles I had to compete with.

Traffic wasn't bad and I don't remember ever driving on this part of the city.

"So, where do you live?" I finally asked.

"You'll see."

"I don't think I've ever been to these parts. This looks so rural."

"Have you always been a city girl?"

I laughed.

The teasing manner in which she said it was very cute.

"You could say that."

"Do you ever travel within the country or do you only go abroad?"

"I've travelled to other places in our country. I like going to the beach."

"But not on these parts?"

"No."

"Then I hope you like what you see."

The drive was pleasant what with all the green trees and the quiet roads.

I rolled the windows down and the smell of fresh air filled my lungs.

Alice held out her hand outside the window and made small waves as if swimming in invisible water.

Why does every small thing she does filled my heart with so much joy?

She saw me staring.

I quickly looked away and focus on the road.

***

The drive took less than half an hour.

Since most of the roads were isolated, it was easy to forget that I still need to follow the speed limit.

Most of the time, I failed not because I was willfully ignoring the laws but because I have a heavy foot.

It was something my father disapproved of.

He once told me I drove like I was being chased by the hounds of hell.

"We're almost home," She touched my arm and pointed towards the end of the street.

There were kids playing in the middle of the street, their laughter floating in the cool afternoon air.

A woman came out when she saw us and told the kids to get out of the way.

They stared at us when we passed by.

I figured there weren't a lot of cars that come here much less a luxury one.

"Stop right there," Alice pointed to the side.

I slowed down, rolled the windows up then cut off the engine.

Alice stepped out first and I followed behind her.

A small woman with black and gray hair tied in a neat bun was serving a customer.

There was a faded sign on top of the roof.

Alice and her mother owned a small store and noodle house.

She looked up and smiled when she saw us.

Alice tiptoed to unlatched the gate and let me in first.

Her mother came out of the store to meet us.

"Ma, this is Lady Russamee." Alice said with a smile.

"Hello," She bowed to me.

It was unnecessary but the moment Alice added the honorific, it totally changed everything.

"Why don't you take Lady Russamee inside so she would be more comfortable?"

"I will. But do you need help with anything?"

"No. It's not busy right now. I'm good."

"Okay. Call me if you need anything."

She nodded and bowed again before going back to the store.

***

The two-storey house was old.

The paint was peeling and one of the window panes was covered with a green tarp.

But the front yard had a camellia tree and its flowers were in full blown.

The fragrant air was sweet and enchanting.

"Come in," Alice held open the door for me.

I bent down to remove my high heels.

"You don't have to do that," Her hand was on mine, ready to stop me.

I stared at it.

She quickly pulled it away.

"No. It's okay. I'm not used to wearing my shoes indoors."

"Wear this then if you insist on doing that," She took a leather sandals from a plastic rack and gave it to me.

I put it on.

It was smaller but comfortable.

She switched on the lights and the inside of their house was large and decked with wooden furniture.

There were stairs across the front door that led to the second floor.

"Have a seat," Alice placed her bag on a chair under the stairs.

"Just stay there, okay? I'm just going to change and then I'll cook something for you."

"Why don't I help you?"
She frowned and pursed her lips.

"You're my guest, Lady Russamee."

"I told you not to call me that."

"But I don't want to forget especially when we're at work."
"We are at your home. It's just the two of us. There's no need to be so formal."

She took a deep breath, frustrated by my insistence.

"Fine, Russamee then."

I smiled.

Alice ran upstairs, the receding footfalls echoing in the living room.

The floorboards creak as she puttered around.

There was a long horizontal gap in one of the slats and when I looked up, I could see the fluorescent lights.

While waiting, I looked around the tiny living room.

The TV was an old model.

It had the vinyl cover that slides to close.

On top was a green cloth with the gold intricate paisley design.

Picture frames of Alice and her mom crowded the small space.

I picked one up of her graduation pictures.

She went to a public university and graduated with honors.

I smiled when I saw the engraving.

Alice was so humble.

If I didn't see this picture, I wouldn't have known she graduated top of her class.

"Do you like what you see?"

I startled.

She was so quiet I didn't even notice she came back already.

It took me a while to reply.

Alice had changed into a baby blue racerback tank top and cut off denim shorts.

Her hair was no longer loose but tied in a messy bun, wispy soft hairs falling down her neck.

I swallowed hard, uneasy with the unceasing fluttering in my chest.

"You never told me you graduated summa cum laude?" I put the picture frame back on top of the TV stand.

She shrugged and smiled.

"St. King is lucky to have you," I gushed.

"Tell that to my boss at the pediatrics department," She walked to the kitchen.

I followed behind her.

"Why?"

I stood by the dining table and watched while Alice opened the cupboards.

She took out a bowl, cloves of garlic, onions, ginger and plump red chilis.

Alice placed the wooden cutting board on top of the counter.

"I get the feeling she doesn't like me."

She pulled a drawer open and took out a cleaver then began slicing the onions.

"Do you want me to do something about it?" I walked over and stood beside her.

She stopped what she was doing.

There were tears in her eyes.

"I shouldn't have told you that. She's my boss and you're her boss. I'm sorry."
"There you go again. Apologizing for something that wasn't your fault."

"I don't want to get anyone in trouble. Besides, I'm new at the hospital. I don't want enemies. What I should do is work hard to prove my mettle so she'll know that I earned my spot to work there. She doesn't need to know that I was scouted by HR and was secured a spot at St. King even before I graduated."

"You were?"

"Yes. We had a job fair and I was interviewed on the spot. They knew I would be graduating in a few months and I guess I aced that interview. The HR staff said they really want me at the hospital and they'd keep in touch which they did."
Listening to her story impressed me even more.

But it also gave me the idea that perhaps, word got out and it was the reason why her boss doesn't like her.

That woman could be a bitch.

But I wasn't going to tell Alice that.

Since she told me what's happening, I'd keep an eye on what's going on to make sure she doesn't get Alice in trouble or give her any hardship.

"I'm glad you didn't file a police report or my chances of working at your hospital would never happen."

"I wouldn't do that. You risked so much that day."

"When I think of what I did, I wanted to slap myself. But it already happened," She shrugged.

"Let me know if you're being untreated unfairly at your department."

"You know what? Let's not talk about work anymore," She deflected.

"You're probably sick of the gossip and the politics at the hospital. Let's talk about something else."

She carefully placed the red chilis on the cutting board and cut it into thin slices with quick precision.

Her fingers were nimble giving me the impression that she could probably do this with eyes closed.

"What are you making?"

"Crab in coconut sauce. You said you like seafood, right?"

"I do. Are you adding something else?"

"We have lemon grass in the back garden. My mother also bought and peeled the shrimp. Do you like shrimp?"

"I do," The food wasn't ready yet but my mouth watered from what she was making.

"Are you sure there's nothing I could do to help?"

"You're entertaining. That's good enough," She grinned.

"You should probably wait in the living room when I start cooking. Your clothes will smell."

"I don't mind."
She raised an eyebrow.

"What's with that look?"

"You're wearing expensive clothing. Are you sure you want to ruin that with the smell of food and spices?"

"Don't worry about my clothes. I like watching you work."

"You do, huh?" There was a teasing look in her eyes.

The butterflies in my rib cage trashed against my chest as if wanting to be set free.

"Alice, look at what you're doing. You'll cut your finger."

"Fine. But you were the one who said you like to watch me."

"Watch you work and not anything else."

"That's what I meant," She argued.

I shook my head to stop the conversation from going south.

Alice worked with efficiency.

She asked questions about my family and I told her I was an only child.

I learned that she was the same.

"My father bolted when I was five. He told my mother he was tired of being poor and of being with her. I never saw him since."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"You don't have to apologize. I'm glad he left. If he stayed, who knows if he would make life more miserable for us. It had always been my mother and I. Without her, I wouldn't know what to do."

"Was that why you were so distraught that day?"

"Yes. I couldn't imagine my life without my mother. We may not have much but she taught me to find joy and contentment in the little things. When I graduated, she was so proud that she cried."
"I would too. If I was there."
"You would?"

"Yes. Since I knew the things you went through, it would be a disservice to you if I don't cry. But mine would probably be tears of joy."

"Mine was a mix of pride and disbelief," She stirred the food that was simmering in the stove.

"Really? Why?"

"I was happy I graduated. But when I thought of all the long nights I burned the midnight oil and sometimes thought of giving up, I still couldn't believe I made it to the end."

"Was it always your dream to be a nurse?"

"No," She chuckled then turned off the fire.

"It was my aunt who suggested I took up nursing. She lives in Canada and work there as a caregiver. My aunt believes that this could be my ticket to go abroad. Since she was helping send me to school, I did what she wanted me to do."

Alice took out plates from the cupboard.

"Give me that. I'll set the table."

"Okay. You sure you know how to do that?"

"You're making fun of me."
"Sorry. You're so fun to tease."

I glared but it didn't stop her from grinning.

"Do you like being a nurse?"

"Do you like being the medical director of St. King?"

"I actually do."
"I do too. It's just like any other course or job, you know? It comes with its own set of challenges and rewards. Besides, if my aunt was right, I could go to Canada."
"Is that your dream?"

"Not really. My dream is to no longer be poor. I wanted my mother to have an easier life as she gets older. She sacrificed too much already. I wanted to care for her for as long as I could."

"You're a good daughter, Alice. No wonder your mom is so proud of you."
"I try, Russamee. Now, let's eat. I still have something to show you after dinner."

"Okay."
***

Dinner was heavenly.

Now, I've eaten in so many places in different countries but this one was special.

Whether it was because Alice made it or because I saw the effort and care she put in when making this meal, I was just glad to be able to share it with her.

Her mom came in and Alice gave her food.

She refused because she had to go back to the store but when her daughter stood up to feed her, I saw the love between them.

It was very heartwarming to witness.

"We'd better go before it gets dark," Alice said while we put the dishes in the sink.

"Aren't we going to wash these?"

"It's okay. I'll do it when I come back. Right now, I have to show you something. Come on," She gently pulled my arm.

***

Behind the row of houses and below a set of wooden stairs was the beach.

The sun was already setting when we got there.

The blaze of the sharp golden rays were now obscured by blue gray clouds.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Alice was looking at me.

"Yes. It's magnificent," I met her gaze.

"This is where I usually go when I needed to think. The waves, the clouds and the sun make the perfect company."
"Do you do that a lot?"
"What?"
"Come here to think?"

"Yeah. There was always something to think about."

"Like what?"

"You."
I didn't know what to say to that.

"You see, I haven't forgotten that day. I was down and I thought, there was no way I'm getting out of that situation. We didn't have any money and during that time, my aunt got laid off from her job so she couldn't help us either. It was one obstacle after another. I was at the end of my rope. When I caused a scene, it was because I was desperate. I didn't know what I was thinking. When they threatened me and called security, I took that letter opener thinking it would get them to do what I wanted which was to speak with the hospital manager. I had no idea what if it would work but it was my last attempt."
"A last attempt to what?"

"For help. I was thinking if those people wouldn't help me, maybe someone else will. Someone with enough power to actually do something for someone in need. What I didn't expect was to meet you."

"Alice, others would have done the same thing."
"No. You know what you did that day? You showed compassion. You talked to me. You asked questions. You listened to what I have to say. You didn't laugh at me when I asked if I was going to go to prison or if there was a cop waiting outside the door. I was fearful and suspicious but I saw how sincere you were. You showed that you cared. That moment stuck with me. The memory of you stayed with me ever since."

I was speechless.

To me, it was part of my job to offer solutions and to show compassion to those who need it.

To Alice, that interaction changed her life.

"Russamee," She took my hand in hers.

"You made me believe in people again. I am forever grateful for that."
She squeezed my hand and never let go.

We stood along the shore and watched the sun go down.

The waves almost touched our feet and in an impulse move, I took out my shoes.

"What are you doing?" Alice asked, puzzled.

"I'm having fun," I carried my high heels and walked towards the water.

"Come on," I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me.

Alice laughed and we walked in silence until it got dark.

On my way back to the city, my heart overflowed with so much joy that I didn't know what to do with it.

The smile never left my face.

I was tired from the long drive and yet, I was bursting with energy.

I couldn't remember the last time I felt this way.

Alice had just given me a feeling akin to a Christmas morning.