I don't know how we came back to school. All I knew is that as we sat through dinner silently watching Harry in a nervous anticipation, I wondered what other things were being concealed about his past.

Feeling very down, I chose to go to bed early.

I lay in bed for what seemed like hours, unable to go to sleep until I heard the door open. I turned and looked at who it was.

"Hi Hermione." I smiled at her.

"I'm worried about Harry." She said plonking herself down on her bed.

"Me too....He'll cheer up." Hermione looked unconvinced. "Anyway, I can always try my wonderful words of comfort."

She laughed out loud. "You're comfort is as good as -"

"A kick to the head." I laughed with her until she stopped abruptly, a cute but evil smile on her face.

DANGER DANGER DANGER!

"What is it?" I said slowly and cautiously.

"Well," She smirked. "George was looking for you." my heart leapt. "He isn't staying this Christmas, and he wanted to say goodbye." She started laughing. "YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE!"

"We kissed. What? Who said that?"

"What? Willow! Really?"

"Yes."

"Well, how was it?"

"Think of the most awesome thing known to man, and times it by a billion."

"That good?"

I nodded.

We squealed and jumped up and down before going to bed.

Apart from life being shit, life was good.

***

I woke up early the next morning as I remembered that the train was leaving. I dressed in like thirty seconds, skipped brushing my hair and legged it out into the common room.

There he stood, standing waiting for me.

"If I'm too late to get on the train, I'm gonna kill you." George said to me.

"But you'll regret it when you are deprived from my awesomeness." I smiled back.

"You're modesty astounds me."

"You're amazing good looks astound me." George blushed slightly.

"You're beautiful, inside and out Miss Willow Tree." My turn to blush.

"I have a secret to tell you before you go." And I kissed him on the cheek.

"Have a fantastic Christmas." He called as he walked through the portrait hole.

"Goodbye Gred." I whispered

His words played through my head over and over.

You're beautiful, inside and out Miss Willow Tree.

Holy crap, I feel like asdfghjklgzjdnfjehdjsjx.

After spending a few hours dwelling over my love life, Hermione and Ron came and joined me in the common room.

"Someone's happy." Hermione said looking at the smile planted across my face and the dazed look in my eyes.

"Or drugged." Ron added.

"Oh come on Ronald!" I said putting on a completely drunk voice. "You know I am permanently drugged."

We spoke for ages, before discussing a plan of what we were going to say to Harry when he woke up.

"Speak of the devil and he doth appear." I muttered as he walked down the stairs.

"Harry, you -- you look terrible."

Apart from Ron, who was eating a Peppermint Toad, Hermione, who had spread her homework over three tables, Harry, who looked like walking death, and me who was kind of hyperactive and sad, the common room was empty.

"Where is everyone?" said Harry.

"Gone! It's the first day of the holidays, remember?" said Ron, watching Harry closely. "It's nearly lunchtime; I was going to come and wake you up in a minute."

Harry slumped into a chair next to the fire.

"Smile!" I said breaking the plan. It's not like they really gave me much to say anyway.

"You really don't look well, you know," Hermione said, peering anxiously into his face.

"I'm fine," said Harry.

HE LIES!

"Harry, listen," said Hermione, exchanging a look with Ron, "you must be really upset about what we heard yesterday. But the thing is, you mustn't go doing anything stupid."

"Like what?" said Harry.

"Like trying to go after Black," said Ron sharply.

Harry didn't say anything.

"You won't, will you, Harry?" said Hermione.

"Because Black's not worth dying for," said Ron.

"D'you know what I see and hear every time a Dementor gets too near me?" Ron and Hermione shook their heads, looking apprehensive. "I can hear my mum screaming and pleading with Voldemort. And if you'd heard your mum screaming like that, just about to be killed, you wouldn't forget it in a hurry. And if you found out someone who was supposed to be a friend of hers betrayed her and sent Voldemort after her --"

"There's nothing you can do!" said Hermione, looking stricken. "The Dementors will catch Black and he'll go back to Azkaban and -- and serve him right!"

"You heard what Fudge said. Black isn't affected by Azkaban like normal people are. It's not a punishment for him like it is for the others."

"So what are you saying?" said Ron, looking very tense. "You want to -- to kill Black or something?"

"Don't be silly," said Hermione in a panicky voice. "Harry doesn't want to kill anyone, do you, Harry?"

Again, Harry didn't answer. "Malfoy knows," he said abruptly. "Remember what he said to me in Potions? 'If it was me, I'd hunt him down myself...I'd want revenge.'"

"You're going to take Malfoy's advice instead of ours?" said Ron furiously. "Listen...you know what Pettigrew's mother got back after Black had finished with him? Dad told me -- the Order of Merlin, First Class, and Pettigrew's finger in a box. That was the biggest bit of him they could find. Black's a madman, Harry, and he's dangerous --"

"Malfoy's dad must have told him," said Harry, ignoring Ron. "He was right in Voldemort's inner circle --"

"Say You-Know-Who, will you?" interjected Ron angrily.

"-- so obviously, the Malfoys knew Black was working for Voldemort --"

"-- and Malfoy'd love to see you blown into about a million pieces, like Pettigrew! Get a grip. Malfoy's just hoping you'll get yourself killed before he has to play you at Quidditch."

"Harry, please," said Hermione, her eyes now shining with tears, "Please be sensible. Black did a terrible, terrible thing, but d-don't put yourself in danger, it's what Black wants...Oh, Harry, you'd be playing right into Black's hands if you went looking for him. Your mum and dad wouldn't want you to get hurt, would they? They'd never want you to go looking for Black!"

I remained dead silent and no one seemed to notice. My good mood seemed to be ebbing away, leaving me in a world of blue.

"I'll never know what they'd have wanted, because thanks to Black, I've never spoken to them," said Harry shortly.

There was a silence in which Crookshanks stretched luxuriously flexing his claws. Ron's pocket quivered.

"Look," said Ron, obviously casting around for a change of subject, "it's the holidays! It's nearly Christmas! Let's -- let's go down and see Hagrid. We haven't visited him for ages!"

"No!" said Hermione quickly. "Harry isn't supposed to leave the castle, Ron --"

"Yeah, let's go," said Harry, sitting up, "and I can ask him how come he never mentioned Black when he told me all about my parents!"

Further discussion of Sirius Black plainly wasn't what Ron had had in mind.

"Or we could have a game of chess," he said hastily, "or Gobstones. Percy left a set --"

"No, let's visit Hagrid," said Harry firmly.

So we got our cloaks from our dormitories and set off through the portrait hole, down through the empty castle and out through the oak front doors.

We made our way slowly down the lawn, making a shallow trench in the glittering, powdery snow, our socks and the hems of our cloaks soaked and freezing. The Forbidden Forest looked as though it had been enchanted, each tree smattered with silver, and Hagrid's cabin looked like an iced cake.

Ron knocked, but there was no answer.

"He's not out, is he?" said Hermione, who was shivering under her cloak.

Ron had his ear to the door.

"There's a weird noise," he said. "Listen -- is that Fang?"

The three of us put our ears to the door too. From inside the cabin came a series of low, throbbing moans.

"What is that?" I said worriedly.

"Think we'd better go and get someone?" said Ron nervously.

"Hagrid!" called Harry, thumping the door. "Hagrid, are you in there?"

There was a sound of heavy footsteps, then the door creaked open. Hagrid stood there with his eyes red and swollen, tears splashing down the front of his leather vest.

"You've heard?" he bellowed, and he flung himself onto Harry's neck.

Hagrid being at least twice the size of a normal man, this was no laughing matter. Harry, about to collapse under Hagrid's weight, was rescued by Ron and Hermione, who each seized Hagrid under an arm and heaved him back into the cabin. Hagrid allowed himself to be steered into a chair and slumped over the table, sobbing uncontrollably, his face glazed with tears that dripped down into his tangled beard.

"Hagrid, what is it?" said Hermione, aghast.

I spotted an official-looking letter lying open on the table.

"What's this, Hagrid?" I said shocked by his appearance.

Hagrid's sobs redoubled, but he shoved the letter toward me and I picked it up and read aloud:

"Dear Mr. Hagrid,

Further to our inquiry into the attack by a Hippogriff on a student in your class, we have accepted the assurances of Professor Dumbledore that you bear no responsibility for the regrettable incident."

"Well, that's okay then, Hagrid!" said Ron, clapping Hagrid on the shoulder. But Hagrid continued to sob, and waved one of his gigantic hands, inviting me to read on.

"However, we must register our concern about the Hippogriff in question. We have decided to uphold the official complaint of Mr. Lucius Malfoy, and this matter will therefore be taken to the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures. The hearing will take place on April 20th, and we ask you to present yourself and your Hippogriff at the Committee's offices in London on that date. In the meantime, the Hippogriff should be kept tethered and isolated.

Yours in fellowship ... Blah Blah Blah"

There followed a list of the school governors.

"Oh," said Ron. "But you said Buckbeak isn't a bad Hippogriff, Hagrid. I bet he'll get off."

"Yeh don' know them gargoyles at the Committee fer the Disposal o' Dangerous Creatures!" choked Hagrid, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "They've got it in fer interestin' creatures!"

A sudden sound from the corner of Hagrid's cabin made us whip around. Buckbeak the Hippogriff was lying in the corner, chomping on something that was oozing blood all over the floor.

"I couldn' leave him tied up out there in the snow!" choked Hagrid. "All on his own! At Christmas."

The four of us looked at one another. We had never seen eye to eye with Hagrid about what he called 'interesting creatures' and other people called 'terrifying monsters.' On the other hand, there didn't seem to be any particular harm in Buckbeak. In fact, by Hagrid's usual standards, he was positively cute.

"You'll have to put up a good strong defence, Hagrid," said Hermione, sitting down and laying a hand on Hagrid's massive forearm. "I'm sure you can prove Buckbeak is safe."

"Won' make no diff'rence!" sobbed Hagrid. "Them Disposal devils, they're all in Lucius Malfoy's pocket! Scared o' him! 'N' if I lose the case, Buckbeak --"

Hagrid drew his finger swiftly across his throat, then gave a great wail and lurched forward, his face in his arms.

"You won't lose Hagrid. Beaky will be okay, no matter what. I promise." I said confidently. I hate people crying. I can't stand it. I would do anything. Hermione seemed to think that my promise was stupid, that I was wrong to make it, that I was giving false hope.

"What about Dumbledore, Hagrid?" said Harry.

"He's done more'n enough fer me already," groaned Hagrid. "Got enough on his plate what with keepin' them Dementors outta the castle, an' Sirius Black lurkin' around."

"Listen, Hagrid," Harry said, "you can't give up. Hermione's right, you just need a good defence. You can call us as witnesses-"

"I'm sure I've read about a case of Hippogriff-baiting," said Hermione thoughtfully, "where the Hippogriff got off. I'll look it up for you, Hagrid, and see exactly what happened."

Hagrid howled still more loudly. Harry, Hermione and I looked at Ron to help us.

"Er -- shall I make a cup of tea?" said Ron.

I stared at him.

"It's what my mum does whenever someone's upset," Ron muttered, shrugging.

At last, after many more assurances of help, with a steaming mug of tea in front of him, Hagrid blew his nose on a handkerchief the size of a tablecloth and said, "Yer right. I can' afford to go ter pieces. Gotta pull meself together..."

Fang the boarhound came timidly out from under the table and laid his head on Hagrid's knee.

"I've not bin meself lately," said Hagrid, stroking Fang with one hand and mopping his face with the other. "Worried abou' Buckbeak, an' no one likin' me classes --"

"We do like them!" lied Hermione and I at once.

"Yeah, they're great!" said Ron, crossing his fingers under the table. "Er -- how are the flobberworms?"

"Dead," said Hagrid gloomily. "Too much lettuce."

"Oh no!" said Ron, his lip twitching.

"An' them Dementors make me feel ruddy terrible an' all," said Hagrid, with a sudden shudder. "Gotta walk past 'em ev'ry time I want a drink in the Three Broomsticks. 'S like bein' back in Azkaban --"

He fell silent, gulping his tea. We watched him breathlessly. We had never heard Hagrid talk about his brief spell in Azkaban before. After a pause, Hermione said timidly, "Is it awful in there, Hagrid?"

"Yeh've no idea," said Hagrid quietly. "Never bin anywhere like it. Thought I was goin' mad. Kep' goin' over horrible stuff in me mind...the day I got expelled from Hogwarts...day me dad died...day I had ter let Norbert go ..."

His eyes filled with tears. Norbert was the baby dragon Hagrid had once won in a game of cards.

"Yeh can' really remember who yeh are after a while. An' yeh can' really see the point o' livin' at all. I used ter hope I'd jus' die in me sleep. When they let me out, it was like bein' born again, ev'rythin' came floodin' back, it was the bes' feelin' in the world. Mind, the Dementors weren't keen on lettin' me go."

"But you were innocent!" said Hermione.

Hagrid snorted.

"Think that matters to them? They don' care. Long as they've got a couple o' hundred humans stuck there with 'em, so they can leech all the happiness out of 'em, they don' give a damn who's guilty an' who's not."

Hagrid went quiet for a moment, staring into his tea. Then he said quietly, "Thought o' jus' letting Buckbeak go ...tryin' ter make him fly away...but how d'yeh explain ter a Hippogriff it's gotta go inter hidin'? An' -- an' I'm scared o' breakin' the law..." He looked up at us, tears leaking down his face again. "I don' ever want ter go back ter Azkaban."