[Chapter Twelve: Christmas Lights are Green. Edited.]

In later years, I would judge myself brutally for ignoring my friends. I didn't listen to them. I didn't talk to them. I ended up hiding away in the dark corners of the library, reading more books and studying spells.

The three of them didn't stop their efforts though. Hermione had a heartbreaking plea with me one morning before we went to breakfast – "you said you wouldn't leave if I pushed you away. It goes both ways, Willow. I'm not leaving you. Don't go home for Christmas!" – they followed me around and spoke to me at lunch and in classes, but I didn't reply. I didn't want to talk.

"Willow, can I ask you something?" We were in the common room I was staring into the depths of the fire, Hermione was next to me. She kept her voice low. "Was, the nightmare you had a few weeks ago...was it a memory?" I didn't respond, but apparently that's all she needed. "You know it isn't safe. You know what we think about it...if you go...please be safe–––"

"Ah, Miss Granger, are you staying for Christmas?" called the familiar voice of Professor McGonagall.

Hermione and I looked up. The closer you were to the ground, the more terrifying Professor McGonagall appeared.

"I'm going home, Professor."

"Thank you," She said, marking it down on her notepad.

"And you Miss Malfoy are you staying for Christmas?"

"No." The professor did a double-take.

"No?" She said incredulously. "After all we had to do to bring you here? You know I ––" she stopped mid-sentence. "Very well, Miss Malfoy." She gave me a worried look, turned away and left.

"'All they had to do to bring you here'?" Hermione raised her eyebrows, but sighed when I didn't reply.

I didn't have anything to say. I wasn't even really thinking. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know how I felt, or why I felt it. It was as though the world was spinning but I was not.

I sat with Hermione on the train home. We had our own compartment. We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity before I spoke.

"How much does a polar bear weigh?"

"Umm...they all weigh different..."

"No! Just enough to break the ice!"

"Is that a pick-up line, Willow?"

"I don't know. I read it in a book."

The polar bear was apparently all we needed. We spoke for ages, laughing until our stomachs hurt. It was something I'd never experienced before – being close with a person made me feel better than I had when I was alone. My worries hadn't flown out the window, by any stretch, and I was not going to share them, but just talking nonsense made me feel better. It was bizarre in a way I couldn't express. I must say, it was one of the best times of my life.

Getting off the train, I embraced Hermione in a huge hug.

"Have a wonderful Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas Willow!"

We parted ways and I saw my father. He was a scary looking man. With his grey eyes and pale hair, I doubted anyone ever crossed him.

"Come along. Let's go home." He smiled a very strained smile at me.

"I can't wait!"

We arrived at Malfoy manor in a matter of seconds. My father had apparated, taking me with him. We were upstairs, a place I'd never been in for long. I felt excited. I wondered what Christmas was like outside of the basement. Did they have Christmas Eve traditions?

"Where's Draco?"

"With his mother. Come along, child." He grabbed my hand. I felt the warmth of his hand spread through mine. This was the closest we had ever been. I squeezed his hand and he groaned. Maybe I hurt him.

"I'm sorry, Father."

He remained silent as we walked downstairs – were we going to the dining room? As he led me further down the steps, I realised where we were going. The basement.

Perhaps they'd set something up for me? A surprise?

He pulled me into the room, and I blinked. There was no change. Just drab walls, a cold floor, and the scent of dampness.

"What's going on?" He let go of my hand. "Why are we in here?" I turned back around to see my father by the door. "I-I don't understand –––"

"Did you honestly think we would want you? We would be proud of something...like you?" my father spat. "A girl who can't even get into Slytherin? You're pathetic. You are never going to leave this room again."

"No!" My eyes were filling up with tears. "No! You said you were going to make it up to me."

"You're as stupid as you are ugly," He pushed me back into the room and slammed the door shut.

I don't know how much time had passed. An hour? Ten? All I knew was that I was an idiot, the dumbest person on the planet. I lay on the floor and sobbed – what else was I to do? I was a stupid little girl who just wanted to believe in people. A stupid little girl who never would again.

I glanced at the tiny window, too high for me to reach and too small for me to fit through, and saw the sky grow dark before the door opened again.

My father had returned.

"So, little swine, are you ready?" He asked me spitefully. Draco and my mother walked in. They shut the door behind them and stood in front of it. My punishments were had only been a family affair once, and that ended very poorly. This seemed different from even that time. It was as though the door was being guarded. There was something worse going on.

I thought about Hermione and Ron and Harry and how they'd begged me to stay at Hogwarts. I thought about how much I wanted to see them again. I gulped and stood up, an act of defiance I'd never tried before.

Something flickered across my father's face, "Come here, squib."

"I am not a squib!" My voice shook, my whole body shook.

"How dare you talk to me?"

My eyes darted around for exits. I knew this room like the back of my hand, but so did they. Narcissa, my mother stood in front of the door. Even Dobby's bedroom – a cupboard in the wall – was blocked off. Draco stood beside my mother. I could see that he knew what was coming. I could see the dread in his eyes.

"Pay attention!" My father bellowed. I gasped. I'd forgotten how terrifying he could be. He walked closer as he spoke, we were a foot apart. "Hanging around with mudbloods, with blood traitors? I should have killed you the moment I lay eyes on you..." he pointed his wand directly at my face, I flinched. "Avada —"

"Father, wait!" my brother spoke, stepping forward. "Won't the ministry come after you? Won't Professor Dumbledore realise she's missing?"

"If anyone comes after us, we will modify their memory. Which we should have done in the first place."

"But –––"

"Draco, stand back," My voice wasn't much more than a whisper, but he heard me. He stared at me like a deer in headlights.

"Don't talk to my son! You're getting what you deserve!"

"Why do you hate me so much?" I cried out. "What did I ever do to you? I only ever wanted you to love me."

"How could anybody love something like you?" I felt my heart break as he hit me with the back of his hand, sending me straight to the floor. I was right at his feet.

"I won't grovel, if that's what you want, Father." I looked up at him, tears still clinging to my eyes.

"You are no daughter of mine," he spat. "You never were." he raised his wand. "And now it all ends."

"You can't kill me."

"Is that so?"

My voice weaker than I thought possible, "It is."

"I'd like to contradict that." he said pointing his wand at me. I didn't see anything, but the green light that charged towards me.

cPrJMċ