After the second task, no one but Harry believed that I had turned into a mermaid and I was really cut about it.

Bitch, please.

I was doing what I do best in transfiguration (making weird noises), which unsurprisingly, was annoying Professor MG!

“Potter, stop that noise before I stab you.” She said so frustrated I could practically see a brain aneurism happening. It’s obviously someone’s time of the month.

“I’m not doing anything!” Harry said defensively.

“I meant Willow.” She said as I started flapping my arms like a bird.

“Oh,” Harry said awkwardly.

“Honestly Willow, do you ever do work in Transfiguration?” Hermione sighed.

“Nope.” I was wondering if I should start running around the room cawing like a bird.

“How can you pass your tests then?” Ron said as his rose refused to turn into a mouse.

It was actually pretty hard to do, and I had given up twenty minutes ago. Even Hermione was frustrated. Her rose managed to grow a tail, and make squeaking noises, but in all honesty, it didn’t want to work for her.

“Like this;” I said dramatically, rolling my sleeves up and pointing my wand at the little rose. Oh my god, the whole class is looking at me and Professor MG is too and I have just forgotten the spell. This is going to be interesting. “Transfigure-into-a-mouse!” I screamed at the rose.

Nothing happened and the whole class started pissing themselves.

McGonagall was even chortling along with the rest of them.

I looked down at the rose sadly, and it started wriggling, tail, legs, head, body.

“IT WORKED!” I shouted pointing.

Everyone, instead of shutting up, laughed harder, and Hermione was yelling: “You didn’t use the spell, how did that work?”

“Okay, Willow,” MG was saying, wiping her eyes and trying to calm herself. “I don’t know how that worked, but it was amusing.”

I just sat there with a grin.

I’m pretty awesome.

                                                                                                *** *** ***

Potions lessons were always my favourite. Whether it was because of the magical stories that I heard each lesson, the fun of brewing potions, or having the worlds best potions teacher, I wasn’t sure.

Wow, my sarcasm is getting fabulous.

Anyway, I was sitting in potions throwing my ingredients at Malfoy’s head.

“Miss Potter will you grow up?” Snape’s cold voice pierced through the air.

“but sir!” I shouted. “I DON’T WANNA BE TOLD TO GROW UP! AND I DON’T WANNA CHANGE! I JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!”

“Get out!” he yelled.

“No.”

“yes!”

“No, Sir, I’m thirteen, this arguement can go on all day.”

“Out!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Willow, he will kill you.” Harry told me, not bothering to keep his voice down.

“Potters, out!” Snape snapped.

“No!” Harry and I said in unison.

I threw some chopped up ginger roots at the back of malfoy’s head.

“Sir!” He complained.

“Potter!” Snape growled.

“Harry!” I said with a smile.

“Hermione!” Harry said.

“Ron!” Hermione continued smiling broadly.

“Malfoy!” Ron said.

When Malfoy didn’t continue, I picked up a bottle of white-out, that I used for correcting my tedious spelling, at the back of Malfoy’s head. I watched it seep through his hair, and set in a matter of moments.

I hope he has to shave it.

“SIR!” Malfoy snapped.

“Willow potter get out!” Snape bellowed.

And the bell rang, so I skipped merrily out of the classroom.

“Why do you never get detention?” Ron asked, bewildered.

“Yeah, you really never do.” Hermione added.

“’Cause, my friends, you need to be so dreadfully annoying that no teacher wants to spend any extra time with you. The teachers have all realised that I enjoy myself as they die on the inside.” I said knowledgably.

“It is a terrible thing to have to spend extra time with you.” Harry grinned.

“You’re disowned.” I told him flatly.

He then pouted and poked me on the arm.

Seriously, what?

“Did, you just pout and poke her on the arm?” Hermione said, also observing my brothers specialness.

“No.” Harry blushed.

“Attention everyone!” I shouted. “Harry Potter is a faggot, but not as much as Bella Diggory. Kay thanks bye.”

*** *** *** ***

Anyway, days passed, I irritated people, and Sirius sent back a reply. (Though I didn’t even know we sent him anything.)

Be at stile end of road out of Hogsmeade at two o’clock on Saturday afternoon. Bring as much food as you can.

Bring as much food as you can.

Food as you can.

As you can.

Challenge accepted.

Sirius black, be prepared for a shitload of food.

I was too busy thinking about how I was going to smuggle food out of the castle, to worry about double potions. However, my amazing thoughtfulness was killed as I saw Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle were standing in a huddle outside the classroom door with Pansy Parkinson's gang of Slytherin girls.

All of them were looking at something I couldn't see and sniggering heartily. Pansy the pug peered excitedly around Goyle's broad back as we approached.

"There they are, there they are!" she giggled, and the knot of Slytherins broke apart. 
I saw that Pratty had a magazine in her hands - Witch Weekly.

Then pansy spoke, but I ignored her because her presence irritates me.

We went inside and I fell asleep, until I heard Snape behind me. I shat some bricks as I thought he was about to tell me off, but I dodged a bullet.

"Fascinating though your social life undoubtedly is. Miss Granger, I must ask you not to discuss it in my class. Ten points from Gryffindor. Ah . . . reading magazines under the table as well?" Snape added, snatching up the copy of Witch Weekly. "A further ten points from Gryffindor ... oh but of course ..." Snapes black eyes glittered as they fell on Rita Skeeter's article. "Potter has to keep up with his press cuttings. . . ." 
The dungeon rang with the Slytherins' laughter, and an unpleasant smile curled Snape's thin mouth.

"'Harry Potter's Secret Heartache. . . dear, dear. Potter, what's ailing you now? 'A boy like no other, perhaps. . .'" 
I tried desperately not to laugh.

I’m meant to support my friends.

Not laugh at them.

Bad Willow.

Anyway, the article was something about Harry loving Hermione, and Hermione playing Krum and Harry off eachother.

It was pretty funny.

"'. . . Harry Potter's well-wishers must hope that, next time, he bestows his heart upon a worthier candidate.' How very touching," sneered Snape, rolling up the magazine to continued gales of laughter from the Slytherins.

How can I annoy Snape?

"Well, I think I had better separate the four of you, so you can keep your minds on your potions rather than on your tangled love lives. Weasley, you stay here-“

“I SHOTGUN THE DESK IN FRONT OF YOURS SIR!” I shouted, grabbing my stuff and running forward.

“Miss Potter-“ Snape growled.

“Harry! Professor Snape is talking to you! Pay attention!”

“Willow-“

“I LOVE POTIONS! I’M SO EAGER TO LEARN!” I yelled.

I hate this class, can I get kicked out?

“Are you eager enough to want extra lessons?” Snape said smartly. “How about detention?”

But I was one step ahead of him.

“I would love that sir!” I smiled, looking genuine because I’m talented. (God, I’m so vain.) “But could you handle an extra hour of Willow?”

“Can anyone?”

“Is that a rhetorical question sir?” I asked brightly.

He sighed and stalked around the room, but then he came back to his desk.

Beautiful, I still have an hour and a half to get kicked out.

“Hey sir,” I said casually. “Do-do you-? Err...” Snape looked up, intrigued. Aha, success. “Never mind.” I added.

He glared at me for a second, then turned away again.

“Err, sir.” He looked back. “It’s just – I was wondering – stupid really –“

“Spit. It. Out.” He snarled. Someone’s time of the month.

“Do you – umm, do you like, err...DO YOU LIKE LLAMAS?” I screamed the last part and sir strode over to my table.

“Potter.” He snarled. “Boomslang skin? Gillyweed? You or your friends have been stealing from my storeroom, and I want to know why?” his voice was as cold as ice, and he spoke so only I could hear.

“What the hell is boomsaglan skin?” I said, knowing perfectly well that Hermione stole it in our second year to make Polyjuice potion.

“Boomslang skin, don’t play dumb with me.”

“Huh?” I said purely for one reason.

“I told you not to play dumb with me.”

“Oh sorry, I can’t hear, I’m going deaf.” I said apologetically.

“Don’t play dumb with me Potter!” he shouted, a vein pulsing in his temple.

“No need to shout sir, it’s not like I’m deaf or something.” I said bitchily.

“I know you want to get kicked out of this class, but it won’t work.” Snape growled.

Challenge accepted.

“Huh?”

“I know you-“Snape stopped himself, realising I was being annoying.

Smart arse.

“Hey sir-?”

“SHUT UP WILLOW!” he screamed at me.

“Geez, I just wanted to know if my beetle powder was fine enough.” I rolled my eyes. “But fine. Gosh. Not like I have feelings. Gah. Bah. Smah-“

“Shut up potter.”

“Hey sir, remember when I had to stay at your house?” I asked, and practically heard everyone stopping work and tuning in.

“I’m still trying to forget.” Snape said.

“Wasn’t that fun though? And I bought my cat! And I was telling you about shampoo, I can tell that you didn’t take my advice-“

“You win, get out.” Snape sighed.

“YES BITCHES!” I yelled, running out of the classroom.