I didn’t know what happened. Fred was dead. Ruby was dead. Everyone was dying. No. This isn’t real. It’s a bad dream. Oh God.

There were curses. And spiders. And Giants. And everything.  

They were coming towards the building.

And there was a giant gaping hole for them to come in and kill us.

“HERMIONE, HARRY, RON! GO!” I bellowed.

They didn’t move.

“GO!” I screamed, slapping Harry, and they ran.

Percy and I moved Fred into a safer place and we climbed down the remainder of the stairs, before separating. I saw George, but I ran the opposite direction.

How do you tell someone that their twin, their brother, their best friend has died?

I apparated to near the Whomping Willow where, oddly enough, Harry, Ron and Hermione were. They were surrounded by dementors.

The air was cold. Frozen. There was a feeling of hopelessness in the air. It was silent.

 “EXPECTO PATRONUM!” I bellowed, seeing as the trio couldn’t be happy. See, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

And then Luna, Ernie and Seamus were there, with their own patronuses.

“That’s right…” Luna was saying, “Very good…” as though we were in the DA again, practicing. “Come on Harry, think of something happy.”

“Something happy?” he said, his voice cracked.

“We’re all still here,” she whispered, “we’re still fighting. Come on, now. . . .”

There was a silver spark, then a wavering light, and then, the stag burst from the end of Harry’s wand. It cantered forward, and now the dementors scattered in earnest, and immediately the night was mild again.

“Can’t thank you enough,” said Ron shakily, turning to Luna, Ernie, Seamus and I “you just saved— ”

With a roar and an earth-quaking tremor, another giant came lurching out of the darkness from the direction of the forest, brandishing a club taller than any of us.

“RUN!” Harry shouted again, but no one needed no telling. We’d bolted away. I lost the trio, but Luna, Ernie, Seamus and I had rejoined the battle.

I was dueling three Death Eaters, which isn’t easy, when one of them pulled out a knife.

“What?” I said, because you don’t often see knives in wizarding duels.

There was a loud BANG a flash of green and red light.  My wand went flying somewhere.

And then, although I wasn’t entirely sure what was happening, Luna had fallen on top of his knife.

“NO!” I screamed out; somehow knocking out the Death Eaters in the vicinity with the noise. “Luna!”

I couldn’t find my wand. I needed my wand to heal her. I knelt beside her, squeezing her hand.

“I can’t – I don’t – Luna.”

 “It’s okay.” She said, gurgling blood. “My mum’s here. She’s going to take me somewhere...You’re doing fine…Don’t lose hope…” she shut her eyes.

“Luna, no. No. No. no.”

“Now comes the mystery.” She whispered. Her hand fell from mine, limp.

“Lu – Luna –no –wake up -”

I let out a scream; a scream for those we had lost; A scream that was loud; that rebounded off of everything; that was the epitome of grief and loss. We were going to lose, Ruby was right.

I lay on the ground beside Luna, and no one bothered me. I was allowed to grieve for my friend in this moment –

Voldemort’s voice reverberated from the walls and floor; he was talking to Hogwarts and to all the surrounding area. So that the residents of Hogsmeade and all those still fighting in the castle would hear him as clearly as if he stood beside them, his breath on the back of their necks, a deathblow away.

“You have fought,” said the high, cold voice, “valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. Yet you have sustained heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a loss and a waste.

“Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat immediately. You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat your injured.

“I speak now, Harry Potter, directly to you. You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. I shall wait for one hour in the Forbidden Forest. If, at the end of that hour, you have not come to me, have not given yourself up, then battle recommences. This time, I shall enter the fray myself, Harry Potter, and I shall find you, and I shall punish every last man, woman, and child who has tried to conceal you from me. One hour.”

 The Death Eaters all retreated suddenly. The Giants. The dark forces left. Dead and injured people were being carried back to school on stretchers. I made a yellow stretcher appear, and lifted Luna onto it. I planted a kiss on her forehead and sent her magically back to school. I watched her yellow, automated stretcher zooming around the debris, leaving a trail of flowers where it had passed. She would have liked that I think.

I stood silently, solemnly in the middle of the grounds.

“No – No, you’ll be okay. You’re alright.” I heard someone saying, in the distance. “Come on, you’ll be okay. Hold on.”

I turned, and could see two people carrying another.  

Why does there have to be so much death?

“Willow,” one of them cried out.

I started to run over. They must be from the DA. Oh God. If they knew me, I knew them. I promised that they’d be oka –

“No.” I gasped.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

The pair lay her on the ground. There was blood everywhere and some black and green slime oozing amongst it. They were crying. She was too far gone.

“Will,” She said, looking up at me with her big brown eyes. “My lovely Willow…”

“’Mione. No. No – no - you’ll be okay. I can – I can fix you.” I whispered desperately, placing my hands on her stomach to stop the bleeding.

“It’s okay. I’m not afraid.” Hermione smiled at me softly. It was a knowing look. She didn’t want me to feel guilty for failing her. But I did.  

“Ronald Weasley, now don’t you be a git –“She gasped, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Ron – you find someone else – and be happy. Don’t be alone. You can’t ever be alone you idiot. You can’t make it on your own.”

“Her-mione.” Was all he could say, brushing her cheek, as tears cascaded down his own.

My best friend. Covered in her own blood.

My Hermione. My lovely Hermione.

The first person I felt compassion towards.

The first person I loved.

My mother.

My friend.

My sister.

 “Harry, you can defeat him okay? Don’t – Don’t let this be in vain. I love you.” She groaned and looked at me. “I love you –“She turned to Ron. “Ron, I’ve always – loved you.”

“’Mione. I love you. You can make it.” Ron whispered. “You’ll be fine.”

“It’s all been rather lovely.”  She reached up and touched his cheek. He held her hand there and kissed her palm.

“Hermione it’s always been you. Stay with me. Hermione – no! No.”  

Her arm slackened, but Ron continued to hold her hand; flipping it over and pressing it to his face.

“No – No - You’re okay. Wake up. Hermione. Please wake up.”

The world was spinning. I fell, yet landed lightly. I don’t know anymore. I don’t know anything.

I didn’t know how long we sat on the ground for.

“Where is everyone?” Harry broke the silence.

“I think they went to the Great Hall, but I don’t want to go there.” I whispered.

“Why?”

“Everyone’s dead.”

“Oh.”

Ron lifted Hermione into his arms and Harry and I held each other’s hand and walked along the ruined grounds and into the castle; into the great hall.

The House tables were gone and the room was crowded. The survivors stood in groups, their arms around each other's necks. The injured were being treated upon the raised platform by Madam Pomfrey and a group of helpers. Firenze was amongst the injured; his flank poured blood and he shook where he lay, unable to stand.

The dead lay in a row in the middle of the Hall. I could not see Fred's body, because his family surrounded him. My George was kneeling at his head; Mrs. Weasley was lying across Fred's chest, her body shaking. Mr. Weasley stroking her hair while tears cascaded down his cheeks.

Harry shook his head – “I can’t.” – and ran. I understood.

I led the way over to the Weasleys. Ron and Hermione in my wake.

“You’re okay.” Ginny breathed. Her face was swollen and blotchy. “You guys are okay.”

I shook my head and tears started pouring down my face again.

I stepped out of the way of Ron and saw as Ginny’s face crumpled.

“No.” She whispered.

Ron lay her on the ground and sat beside her. Looking completely lost.

Percy came over and wrapped his arms around Ron and remained silent. Everyone shuffled around and I had a view of the rest of the dead.

Lupin and Tonks, pale and still and peaceful-looking, apparently asleep beneath the dark, enchanted ceiling. Neville was sitting beside Luna, with her father and his Gran. They weren’t crying. They seemed dead. Half of Ruby’s girls lay side by side, the rest of them stood around crying and hugging each other.

I looked at every face lying in the line. Dean. Lavender. Colin. Alya. Jack. Jason. Padma. Cho. Jessica. Shyanna. Alicia. The little slytherin girls who’d stayed behind. My old drama teacher.

I swayed where I stood. I felt faint. Why couldn’t I be dead? Why couldn’t I take their place?

But I had no say in the matter. We had already lost the war. Defeating Voldemort would just be a consolation.

My friends are dead.

MY friends are dead.

MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD!

AND I COULDN’T SAVE THEM!

“Willow?” Whispered a voice from near me. I opened my eyes and saw professor McGonagall standing there. I exhaled a breath I didn’t know I was holding. She was safe. She was okay. Is that the light at the end of the tunnel? Some people live, and I’m supposed to be happy with that?

“Thank God you’re alright.” She breathed. “Everyone is dea –and – and you weren’t accounted for. And I…” she looked away from me unable to go on.

“This is hopeless. We’re all hopeless.” I whispered. I felt her hands grip my face and I was forced to meet her eye.

“Don’t you say that Willow, not you.” She said sharply. “We can’t give up hope. Potter is still alive, and Weasley and Granger –“I cut her off when my face crumpled. I shook my head.

“Hermione...” I murmured and she glanced over to where she lay.

“Oh God,” she gasped and placed a hand over her mouth.

We stood there as silent tears streamed down our cheeks, our bodies close together.

“Hey homies,” Said a voice from behind me.

Who was even pretending that things were okay?

I turned around and gasped.

“No, you died.”

“Would you rather me be dead?”

“No. But you died. I saw you die.”

“I’ve got this thing, curses don’t affect me. I don’t know, really. It’s kind of fucked up.”

Professor McGonagall turned around at that statement.

“I’ve got this thing, I can’t die, really.” I shrugged back.

“Awesome.”

“In theory.”

“I know the feel.”

“Ruby?” McGonagall whispered.

“Hi Mum.” Ruby smiled a little. “Uh, long time no see.”

I conjured a chair out of nowhere and placed in behind McGonagall at the right time, because she fainted into it.

“I don’t know what I expected.” Ruby shrugged at her unconscious mother.

“How are you being so relaxed about the whole thing?” I asked Ruby – by thing I meant ‘almost everyone you care about it dead’.

“Well, I’m putting it into a box in the back of my mind. And later – once we’ve won – I’ll let it all out.” She grimaced at me. “If I let myself feel anything right now, I won’t be able to stop.” She glanced across at the Weasleys and for a moment, I swore I saw her falter. “I think your fiancé needs you Will,”

I nodded at her, and walked back to where they were. George was laying beside his brother. And for a moment, I thought that both of them were…

I sat beside George and held his hand.

“Willow?”

“It’s me Georgie. I’m here for you.”

 “I don’t know what to do.” He whispered. “It has to be a dream. It isn’t real.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“He – he hit us where it would hurt the most.” George gasped, and I could see he was struggling to get air.

“George, just breathe.” I pulled him to sit up. “It’s going to be okay.”

“It will never be okay.” He growled, obliging me and sitting properly. “How could you even say that?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” He whispered and he hugged me tighter than anything I’d ever felt before.

I could feel all the voices talking in my head; alive; dead.  I could feel grief in the air. I could feel pain. Loss. Revenge. The fires of hatred were burning from within people. These people I loved – murdered and murderers.

Ginny tapped on my shoulder.

“There’s a letter for you. It was in Hermione’s pocket.” She handed it to me, and there were two words, scrawled on a torn piece of paper.

Willow – Key

 “What? Does that mean?” George asked as I stood up. “Where are you -? Willow! Come back!” he shouted after me, but it didn’t matter. I had to see Harry now. I had to unlock the final memories in order to finish the puzzle that was my life.

Hermione remembered what she knew I would forget. The paper was old. It was from the journals she bought me in my third year, which had been left at the burrow. She’d known that I’d forget. She’d known that whatever it was was important.

Hermione: helping out from beyond the veil.

I took two steps at a time and walked straight into Dumbledore’s office, where Harry was using the pensive. FYI it looks really weird to see someone with their entire head dipped in a pensive.

I pulled the key off of my necklace and opened Dumbledore’s first drawer.

There was another pensive, and a bottle of the not-quite-gas, not-quite-liquid, that thoughts were. I poured the bottle in, took a deep breath and looked inside.  

 ___

Homies.

Homies homies. 

I love you - not enough though because I'm a murderer.

I've got 2 trial hsc tests to go, and then I have my Drama HSC performance next week. 

fuckfuckfuck

My monologue is literally me being a cat and saying "I want to kill everyone" and then becoming a dog and going "butts butts i like sniffing butts" like. Wow. I don't think I could have written a more embarrassing piece if i tried. 

Anyway, I'm (really not) sorry for killing everyone off. (i made myself cry ffs)

So - I will try to refrain from uploading so I can pass my modern test. But in the meantime, check out this book bc I've been helping with editing and shizz and I really like the premise of it - Katie_Storm 's 'The lake of darkness'

Woo.

Anyway, It's past midnight so I'm going to bed. 

Love y'all!