Months after the start of my junior year when I realized that Cedric was gone—or at least the one in my hallucinations. I wasn't sure if the appearance of the real one had something to do with it. But at times, I still found myself missing him a little, his sarcastic, quirky smiles and remarks. He became a friend of mine, no arguments about that. And though I couldn't say that my condition was getting better, I think I was really starting to get used living with it now.

The random voices I kept hearing from time to time everyday no longer bothered me. Even though it got harsh and hard to bear sometimes, I always try to hold my ground to not let it mix with my reality. And so far, I could always manage—with the help of my medications and counselling from my psychiatrist. The support I was having with my parents and friends was a big factor as well—and I couldn't thank each one of them enough.

I haven't heard anything about the Gallevos since. All I know was that Ainsley's trial was still on going. Hindi ko na rin nakita si Terrence pagkatapos ng huli naming pag-uusap.

I wouldn't say I wasn't curious about him and his family's whatnots from time to time. But I wasn't interested enough to know what they were up to either. If I was being honest, I no longer wanted to associate myself with them—I just hope they were doing fine. Or at least, living the life they all deserved.

Matapos sinupin ang bag at ilang hand-outs na dala ay bumaba ako pagkahinto ng bus. While checking the time to see how much time I still have left for my first class, I heard someone calling out to me. Hindi ko iyon pinansin nang una dahil mahina at dahil na rin sa pag-iisip na baka isa lang iyon sa mga boses sa isip ko.

"Eunice!"

But when someone materialized on my side, I almost jumped in surprise. Ang ngiti nito'y agad napalitan nang bahagyang pagngiwi dahil sa reaksyon ko.

"Sorry. Hey."

Tuluyan akong natigilan sa paglakad para lang ituon ang buong atensyon sa kaniya. My eyes widening in shock. "Hey... you're... why are you—you're here?" Itinawa ko ang pagkakautal dahil sa kalituhan.

Sukbit ang itim na case sa isa niyang balikat para sa bass habang suot ang itim na shirt, jacket, pants at sapatos pati nang itim na baseball cap. All six feet of Cedric was standing in front of me and I couldn't believe my eyes.

The fallen curls on his forehead bounced a little when he nodded, an amused grin curving on his lips. Minuwestra niya ang lugar na pinanggalingan. "I was about to get on the bus when I saw you getting off. I had to check if it's really you so here I am—turns out I was right."

Napasulyap ako sandali sa bus na ngayon ay wala na bago muling nagbalik ng tingin sa kaniya. I wasn't even aware on the smile plastered on my face as I watched him talk what he was here for. And apparently, he was here with his bandmates for a few gigs.

"Do you have time? Wala ka pa bang klase?" aniya nang medyo magtagal ang kumustahan namin doon sa gilid ng daan.

Bahagya akong natawa sa sarili nang matanto iyon. It had been months since and I didn't really expect we would cross paths like this again.

"I still have a few minutes left 'til my first class."

"Can I buy you a drink, then? Coffee?"

I nodded yes with a smile. "Sure."

We headed at the university café outside and talked about mundane things. Until I needed to leave for class. Pero bago pa man ako makatayo ng upuan ay inilapag niya sa lamesa at itinulak patungo sa side ko ang isang phone.

I looked up at him in question.

Bahagya siyang yumukod para isandig ang magkabilang braso sa lamesa. Looking directly at me, he smiled, making his downturned eyes even gentler.

"I couldn't get your number last time. Can I have it now?" Sabay pabirong ngiwi. "Sakaling maligaw ako o kailanganing tubusin sa presinto—kaya 'pag may tumawag sa 'yong unregistered number," tumango siya ng isang beses sabay dugtong, "alam mo na."

I laughed under my breath before typing in my number on his phone. Pagkaabot pabalik sa kaniya niyon ay tumayo na ako at nagpaalam.

Dina and I together with the guys went to Cedric's band gig that week. And though not constant, Cedric and I kept in touch after that—just talking about random things and most of the time checking on each other's whatnots. He also went to Willow Grove from time to time just to stroll around and hung out with us. Minsan kasama niya sina Jon pero madalas ay hindi. All of them were staying at Crestfall, a town next to Willow Grove. Kaya hindi rin mahirap ang magpabalik-balik.

Everything was going normal. Until someone appeared.

It happened on the second sem of my junior year. I was busy with school works then and kind of getting stressed out and pressured.

It wasn't someone I'd known but the way he dressed was similar with the hoodie guy. Blood-stained black pullover hoodie. His face was wrecked and almost unrecognizable. I saw him once in the library when I was alone but it was brief. Then I saw him again at the resto bar.

Taking short breaths, I was in hysterics while hiding in the comfort room after it chased me. Alam kong hindi siya totoo pero hindi ko pa rin kayang kontrolin ang sariling 'wag makaramdam nang labis na takot. Lalo na ngayong nakikita kong mabilis na umaangat at napupuno ng tubig ang cubicle na kinatatayuan ko. Lubog na ang mga paa ko ngunit hindi ko magawang ihakbang ang mga ito para umalis dahil alam kong nakaabang siya sa akin sa labas—at iyon ang gusto niya, ang umalis ako rito.

"Is someone here?"

Mas lalo lamang nanlamig ang sikmura ko sa boses ng lalaking narinig. Paranoia was crawling in my skin. I wanted so bad to unclothe it and exchange it for something else. Hindi ko na matukoy kung sino sa mga naririnig kong nagsasalita ang totoong tao sa hindi.

"Have you seen her? I think she's having another episode. Wala raw siya sa C.R. sabi ni Dina," a familiar voice said.

"Here! She's hiding here."

"Come out, come out!"

Napatili ako at hindi na narinig pa nang mabuti ang ilang mga boses nang umangat at umalingawngaw ang dominanteng boses sa isip ko. The voice who'd always persuaded me to do things I didn't want to and words I was afraid to hear.

"One..."

"You're dead now."

"Two..."

"Someone is after you."

"Three..."

"They are after you!"

Muli akong napatili sa takot nang may dumamba sa pinto ng cubicle na pinagtataguan ko. Sapo ko ng magkabilang palad ang mga tainga, para na akong mawawalan ng malay dahil sa sobra-sobrang panginginig. Ang tubig ay umabot na hanggang baywang ko. Pakiramdam ko'y malulunod ako. Bawat hikbi ko'y nahahalinhinan ng mga takot na daing kasabay ng pagtalon sa bawat malakas na damba sa pinto.

"It's dead end. You're done here."

"No... please leave me alone... no..." I shut my eyes tight and begged so hard for all this to end.

Nasa dibdib ko na ang tubig nang mapatalon at mapasigaw ako sa sobrang gulat at takot, nang sa panghuling damba ay tuluyan nang lumipad pabukas ang pinto. Ang mataas na tubig ay dali-daling umuho palabas doon, tanging lamig na lang nito ang naiwan sa akin.

Higit ang hininga, sumiksik ako sa gilid ng cubicle, nanginginig, humihikbi, halos magmakaawa at wala nang lakas pa para sumigaw.

"Eunice!"

Ngunit iba ang taong bumulaga sa akin doon. Isang hakbang nito palapit at mabilis akong lumapit. Namimilog ang mga mata. Sunod-sunod ang pagkawala ng panibago kong mga hikbi, sa halong nakabubulag na takot na ngayo'y tila tinapunan ng liwanag dahil sa relief. But the relief was short-lived. Because when I saw the wrecked face of the guy beside him, air seemed to knock out of me. Para na akong mawawalan ng malay sa biglaang panlalambot ng mga binti.

"Is she here?"

"Eunice?"

Halos walang lakas ang napakawalan kong sigaw. Nahahalinhinan iyon ng mga palahaw, sabay ng pag-akma nito ng paglapit. Nabawi ko ang mga hakbang at mas lalong nagsumiksik sa gilid ng cubicle, yakap ang sarili. Paulit-ulit akong umiling, animong nakikiusap.

"Hey, hey, it's fine, it's us... you're alright... no one's here to hurt you. You're safe. You'll be fine. Bitch, close your eyes they're not real!"

My whole body was shaking badly as Dina cradled me on her arms. I couldn't remember how long it took for me to calm down but all the while, they were with me and they didn't leave my side.

And even though I didn't intend for my condition to be a secret, I also didn't want to publicize it or make it known to everyone. But that night, I told Cedric about it. I was scared to see his reaction and to hear what he had to say but he just stayed quiet for a long time, his expression remained unreadable.

Hanggang sa kusa na lang humupa ang kaba ko nang dahan-dahang maging kumportable ang katahimikan sa pagitan namin.

"My mom was diagnosed with Dissociative disorder that's why we needed to move often from town to town," ani Cedric mula sa tabi ko matapos ang mahabang katahimikan.

We were both sitting on the roadside, just outside Varitas. Tanging mahinang musika lamang sa loob ang rinig sa katahimikan ng gabi. Madalang na rin ang pagdaan ng mga sasakyan dahil alanganing oras na. Ang tunog ng pagkislot ng isang poste ng ilaw sa 'di kalayuan ay dinala nang malamig na pag-ihip ng hangin.

Propping both arms on each legs, he started saying, "I'm used to people calling her crazy or anything close to insane. Nagagalit ako madalas sa mga taong 'yon pero wala naman akong magawa kasi mismong kamag-anak namin sila." He breathed out a weary sigh, making visible fumes because of the cold night air. "Funny how the people you thought would understand you are the ones whose first to judge. Ni hindi nila sinubukang intindihin ang kundisyon ni Mama... dahil wala silang ibang makita kundi ang perwisyong dala n'on."

Eyes trained on the ground, he scratched something with the tip of his sneakers on it. I couldn't make out his expression because his eyes were covered with his curls. But I could tell that he wasn't smiling. He was serious, saddened even.

"But it's not her, you know. She's not her condition. She's... she's the most wonderful person I know."

Nagtagal ang tingin ko sa kaniya hanggang sa dahan-dahan niyang iangat ang mukha, sapat para tumunghay sa walang lamang kalsada sa harap namin. A faint smile made its way to curve on his lips then. Malinaw kong nakita ang lungkot sa mga mata niya ngunit may iba pang emosyon doong hindi ko mapangalanan.

"Where is she now?"

"She's home," aniya sabay tingala.

Dahan-dahang nalaglag ang panga ko nang matanto ang ibig niyang sabihin. "I'm sorry..."

Instead of saying anything, he just smiled again while staring at the night sky. His adams apple moved up and down as he swallowed. Hindi ko maialis ang tingin sa kaniya. I wasn't sure if it's because of what he just told me or if it's because of his frame as he stared up. He looked like someone earnest and vulnerable... like he was so easy to break... and it tugged my heart, because I felt like I could confide in him for we were the same, somehow. Like having a wound in a similar place.

"What I'm saying is that your condition doesn't make you who you are, Eunice," he said this in a quiet voice then slowly, he turned and look back at me, holding my gaze as our eyes met. "You are so much more than that."

Halos hangin ang tinig ko nang sinabi ko ito, "How so?"

"Hmn." Hawak ng isang palad ang braso sa harapan, bahagya niyang itinabingi ang ulo habang pinagmamasdan akong mabuti sa tabi niya, may kalmadong ngiting nakapinta sa ekspresyon. "First of, you are unbelievably stubborn."

I made a slight frown, a smile stifling on the corner of my lips.

He chuckled before continuing, "You are stubborn in a sense of not easily giving up with anything or anyone you love—and I like that about you."

May sasabihin sana ako ngunit hindi ko na nagawang magsalita. I just watched how he rest his chin on his arm, slightly dropping his head while staring back at me. The look on his face was so calm and tender, like the view of the silent premise before us.

It was always like that with him. The scene. The feeling. He was there, I just didn't know it all along. And there's always been a place in me that belongs only to him. Even though I'd almost forgotten it was there, the other 'I' in me always remembered.