"If Terrence happen to be there, then what do we do?" tanong ni Mike matapos maisara ni Cali ang compartment ng sasakyan para sa ilang pagkaing dala namin. Seryoso ang ekspresyon niya habang nakatayo sa tabi nito.

Mula sa liwanag ng lamppost sa gate na naro'n sa gate ng building apartment ko'y nagkatinginan kaming apat. Panandaliang nilamon ng katahimikan at malamig na hangin ang dilim ng gabi. Kapwa man nakasuot ng jacket ay hindi pa rin maipagkakaila ang lamig sa sistema.

Cali shrugged with no evident expression on his face. "I don't know, man. Seize him? Squeeze out the truth from him? Make him confess with his crimes or else..." He threw me a sly look, a sinister smile creeping on the side of his lips. "His girl won't get it easy."

Meeting his gaze, I pointed a sharp look at him. Raising one corner of my lips to mirror his smile. "Oh, I would love to see you try."

Malakas ang naging halakhak ni Cali habang pinagmamasdan ako kaakibat ng dilim, namamangha. Isinandig niya ang magkabilang palad sa likod ng hatchback.

"You are becoming feisty, Eunice. How interesting. Malapit ko nang isiping may kinalaman ka sa mga krimen o posibleng may sabwatan kayo ni Terrence." He was still laughing then but I could see the guarded and observant look on his eyes. That or maybe I'd been putting so much thought about things lately.

"Be extra wary, then. You wouldn't know for sure if this trip will lead you to your deaths for having done a fatal mistake of bringing me with you." I gave him another smirk and tried to reciprocate his joke sarcastically, almost sounding like the moody bitch who was leaning her back on the front door while watching us.

Natahimik siya ngunit ang parehong tingin ay nanatili, hindi natitinag.

"Bitch, you're starting to give me the willies. Can't we just hop in the damn car and get going? The trip is a twelve fucking hour drive," iritableng ani Dina bago umahon sa pagsandal para magtungo sa front seat. "Let's go!" Pabalya niyang isinara ang pinto niyon matapos makasakay.

Michael went to the driver's seat after giving me and Cali a long, watchful look. Nagtungo na rin ako sa backseat, ang tingin ko'y naiiwan pa sa kaibigan nitong nanatiling nakasindig sa likod ng sasakyan, hindi nagbibitiw ng tingin sa akin.

We'd decided to drive during the night so we would arrive there by daylight. Hindi namin sinabi sa mga magulang ni Terrence ang tungkol dito dahil na rin sa suspetsang maaaring tinatago nila ang anak. We all agreed to talk to them and ask for their permission if we could stay at the rest house once we clear the place out—for at least a night to rest before we drove back.

It was a reckless and impulsive move, I'd have to admit. Ni wala nga kaming plano kung ano ang maaari naming abutan doon. Ngunit lingid sa kaalaman at motibo ng mga kasama ko, wala akong ibang balak sa pagsama kundi ang pag-asang mahahanap at makakausap ko si Terrence—dahil ngayon, sigurado na ako sa desisyon ko. After confirming if he was okay and everything was just a misunderstanding, I would try to convince him to go back and do the right thing. I couldn't be sure if I would be of any help but I promise to not let him do all that alone—like how he never left my side before.

Regardless if he wasn't the Terrence we all know of—a psychopath or a serial killer or whatever the hell he was supposed to be. Because he would always going to be Terrence for me despite everything that happened between us.

I started feeling different when Cedric manifested. But it was only after my accident that I actually realized how I've been holding onto Terrence because of the thought of loving him. Yes, I still love him but I was certain that it wasn't in the same way anymore.

I was confused then with my feelings that was why I kept running back to him. I had mistaken the affection I have for him to be a romantic one because that was what I had been used to. But it wasn't like that anymore. I still care for him and that was the sole reason why I went here. I didn't care if Cali just wanted to have a road trip or fun for himself.

But when things settled down, I would do the right thing. The thing I should've done from the very beginning—to end things between us. But that was the last thing on my priority right now.

"Damn it, D, isn't this unfair? I should've bring someone with me. Tignan mo at pares-pares kayo rito!"

May nakikita ba siyang kasama ko rito? This ass was only thinking about his libido. Hindi na talaga ako nagugulat kung bakit muntik na siyang napatay.

"Just help yourself when we got there, Cal," Dina mocked from the passenger seat. "You planned this, right? Hindi ka naman mamamatay sa sakit ng puson."

Mike couldn't suppress a laugh.

"Oh, fuck you."

"Sorry, I'm only exclusive for one person."

And I guess I was right about Cali just wanting to get some fun out of this trip. Or maybe I shouldn't underestimate him. He could be pretending that he was taking this easy. Who knows?

"Where's the fun in this, then?" dismayadong anito, may kasama pang iling.

"Why don't you try doing that girlfriend thing so you won't be this lonesome when you're with your friends?" my voice was dry when I said this.

"Lonesome?" Humagalpak si Cali ng tawa pagkalingon sa akin. Naituro niya ang sarili. "Who the fuck said I'm lonesome?"

"Why are you always in search of someone to be with, then?" Diretso ko siyang tinitigan pabalik sa tabi habang nakahalukipkip at prenteng nakasandal sa backseat.

Bahagya siyang nagtaas ng mga palad sa ere at defensive na nagkibit-balikat. "Isn't that only natural? Men isn't built only for himself but for others."

"It's that way when you're lonely." Hindi ko napigilan ang umusbong na mapang-uyam na ngiti sa akin nang makitang hindi siya makaimik pabalik.

Kumurap siya at binasa ang labi, halos frustrated ang tinging ipinupukol pabalik sa akin. Sa huli ay muli na lamang siyang napahalakhak, may bakas na ng iritasyon ang boses. "Is it, now?"

Narinig ko ang mahinang tawa ni Dina mula sa passenger seat. Si Mike naman ay nakangisi lang habang diretso ang tingin sa kalsada.

"No pressure though." I slightly leaned my head closer to his side and gave him my sweetest smile.

Kagat na niya ang labi at pilit pinanatili ang ngising naglalaho na nang kapwa kami magpalitan ng tingin. It looked like he was beginning to feel how much I hated him for what he had done on the resto bar the night Terrence disappeared.

For one thing, he was tolerable before but I just couldn't get myself to forgive him. Dahil hindi tama ang paraang ginawa niya. This could've been not as complicated as it was if it weren't for his feat. Oh, I really hate him now and I wanted him to know—and it seemed like I was succeeding at that.

"Get your shit together, Cal. We aren't heading there for leisure, are we? Eunice is right. We should be extra wary." Mike met my eyes on the rear-view mirror, his are a vigilant pair—I almost choked.

We had a few stops to eat and to use restrooms. Pinalitan na ni Cali si Mike sa pagdi-drive kanina at ngayon ay si Dina naman ang may hawak sa manibela.

It was already four in the morning. Tahimik ang buong sasakyan at tanging pirming paghinga lamang nang natutulog na si Cali at pagtipa sa keyboard ang rinig. Mike was quiet on the passenger seat, busying himself on his netbook.

"Why aren't you sleeping, Eunice? Scared we'll hurt you?" sa natural na mapang-uyam na tinig na sabi ni Dina.

"I'm thinking of other possible reasons why Terrence disappeared."

"And?"

"He could be..." I will myself to continue, "...hurt."

"You're saying he could be dead by now if he turns out innocent?" Mike interjected, suddenly curious.

"There's a possibility... because it just doesn't make sense why he would hide himself if there isn't any direct evidence pointing at him about the murders." Parang gumaan ang loob ko nang maisatinig ang mga salitang matagal nang nagsisirko sa isip.

"But why would the real culprit kill him if he wants to point the crimes to Terrence?" Mike mused.

"To buy time?"

"To raise suspicion and to buy time?" sabi ko. "It could also be a distraction for the authorities..."

"Para sa susunod niyang biktima..." dugtong ni Dina.

"If it happens that it wasn't Terrence, then why do you guys think the culprit's doing this?" Mike ventured, "Two students from the same college, same course and year, both girls who had an interaction or connection with Terrence..."

There was a sudden image that flashed in my mind after he mentioned all that. Unti-unting bumilis ang takbo ng puso ko kasabay ng dire-diretsong pag-andar ng isip. Lips parted, my eyes widened.

"The h-hoodie guy..." Suminghap ako at halos mapamura. Why hadn't I thought about him all this time?

Kung hindi si Terrence ang nasa kabila ng mga krimen, then that guy could be a suspect. He knew Steph and he could have a motive for revenge to pin this all to Rence! What if the latter was being framed-up?

"The who?" litong ani Dina.

"Hoodie guy? Who's that?"

"H-He... he's a client of Steph... I don't know. I'm not sure if he goes in our university but... he's been there... he told us that Steph referred me to him... to be his escort..."

"Oh, what a bitch." Dina's laugh was humourless.

Sandali ko pang inisip kung ako ba ang tinutukoy niya ngunit natantong para kay Steph 'yon nang dinugtungan niya ang sinabi.

"Oops, RIP."

Napalingon si Mike sa akin sa backseat. "And why would you think he's behind the killings?"

I was reminded of the repulsion, fear and helplessness on that incident, months ago at the locker-room. Kinailangan ko pang kalapin ang lakas ng loob para sabihin ang totoo.

"Pinagtangkaan niya ako... Terrence came in time to stop him and... he got violent with the guy..."

The silence engulfed between the three of us. Cali was still dozing off without a care in the world, his snore was the only thing echoing in our ears.

Kunot ang noo ni Mike at mukhang malalim ang iniisip. Dina was cursing Steph under her breath.

"You're saying Terrence must be or already in trouble that's why he's in hiding?"

Bahagya akong tumango sa mariing titig ni Mike mula sa rear-view mirror.

"Then we could be wasting our time—"

"Waste? What did we waste? Where am I? Why are you guys here?" Cali bolted awake when the car bumped into something in the road. Mapungay pa ang mga mata at bahagyang magulo ang buhok, mukhang wala pa sa sarili.

"Just get back to sleep, Cal," sarkastikong ani Dina.

Cali grunted. Marahas niyang nahilamusan ng palad ang mukha bago kami isa-isang tinignan na para bang misteryo kami sa kaniya.

"Should we go back?" alanganin kong naitanong.

"What? Babalik? Bakit tayo babalik?" animong nagising bigla ang diwang ani Cali nang bahagyang mapaahon mula sa prenteng pagkakaupo. Pinandilatan niya ako sa tabi niya sunod si Mike.

The latter sighed in defeat. "Malapit na tayo. I think we still have to check the place. Speculations pa lang ang meron tayo at wala pa ring proof. It doesn't change the fact that Terrence is still a suspect, Eunice."

Napatiimbagang ako bago napatango. He was right. Pero malakas ang kutob kong may kinalaman nga rito ang lalaking 'yon. Hindi ako sigurado kung kasali ba sa hallucinations ko ang nangyari noon sa party kung saan ko siya nakita... at kung saan niya ako sinubukang saktan...

Kung totoong nangyari 'yon... ibig sabihin hindi siya nagtagumpay na patayin ako... pero nagtagumpay siyang patayin si Steph dalawang araw matapos ng party.

Was he hesitating to kill me then?

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" si Cali na walang muwang. Tinapunan lamang namin siyang tatlo ng tingin, walang nagkusang magpaliwanag. Wala rin naman siyang nagawa kundi ang muling mapadaing at bumalik na lang sa pagtulog, panay ang usal ng reklamo kahit nakapikit na.

This guy could be such a kid sometimes.

Napailing na lang ako bago dumungaw sa madilim na kalsadang tinatahak mula sa labas ng bintana.

My eyelids felt heavy as I opened them to welcome the rays of the morning sun. Sandali pa akong nalito kung nasaan ako nang bumungad sa akin ang loob ng sasakyan.

"Good morning, sleepyhead."

Nanigas akong sandali bago namilog ang mga mata nang matantong nakadantay ako sa balikat ng isang tao. Patalon akong lumayo rito.

"You slept like a rock. Mukhang nasarapan ka sa pagdantay sa balikat ko ah?" Nakangising mukha ni Cali ang sumalubong sa akin. Habang nakahalukipkip ay sabay na nagtaas-baba ang magkabilang kilay niya.

Agad akong ginapangan ng iritasyon nang marinig ko ang halakhak niya matapos ko siyang tapunan nang matalim na tingin. Muntik nang nagtaasan ang mga balahibo ko. Nakakaalibadbad.

"We're here," anunsyo ni Mike pagkahinto ng sasakyan sa gitna ng nagtataasang mga puno at damo. "We'll have to walk from here."

Walang bitbit na kahit ano, isa-isa kaming bumaba ng sasakyan. Tumambad sa amin ang payat at nagtataasang mga puno at damong halos sing tataas ng tao. Naroon nakahinto ang sasakyan sa gilid ng kahabaan ng tila trail na daang walang damo. Walang kahit anong establisyimento o bahay ang nakatirik doon—maliban sa nag-iisang tanaw mula sa pataas na daan ilang daang metro ang layo sa amin.

The dried ground with some of the fallen dead leaves made a crunching sound under the soles of our shoes.

Pagkatingala ay sinalubong ako ng banayad na paghaplos ng pang-umagang hangin. Sinabayan ang pag-ihip niyon ng tunog mula sa nagsasayawang mga dahon sa matataas na puno—maging ang nagtataasang damo ay tila humawi rin dahil doon. Nasundan ko ng tingin ang ilang nagliparang mga ibon sa himpapawid, ang mga huni nito'y naiiwan pa.

The place looked peaceful while bathing in the morning light. I wonder what it looked like when the dusk hit and the night comes.

Apat na pares ng may pag-aalinlangang mga mata, ilang sandali kaming nagpalitan ng tingin bago tinungo ang lugar na pakay.