"Laxamana..." I heard a familiar voice next to me. "Eunice Laxamana, right?"

While waiting on the roadside for the traffic lights to turn red before crossing the highway, I turned to my side.

"Yes?"

Sandali itong natigilan nang magtama ang mga mata namin, ang kaunting pagkamangha ay bumalatay sa ekspresyon. Nakilala ko naman agad kung sino ito. He was a popular senior at my high school, a batch mate.

"Hi. Uh..." His smirk turned into a grimace before glancing over his shoulder.

Nasundan ko ang sinulyapan niya at nakita ang isang lalaking nakahandusay sa isang bench. Okupado nito ang kabuuan niyon at tila walang pakialam sa mga nawi-weird-uhang tingin ng mga taong nagdaraan. Hindi ko alam kung tulog ba ito o walang malay. Nonetheless, it alarmed me, even more so with what he said next.

"I don't have my phone with me... and as you can see, my bud over there passed out. Can I ask you a favour?"

Natuon ang buong atensyon ko sa kaniya. "Of course. Do you want me to call the emergency hotline?"

Dali-dali kong hinugot ang phone mula sa dalang bag at magdi-dial na sana ngunit natigilan.

"No, no." Umiiling, nakagat niya ang labi at bahagyang natawa. "He's fine. Kasama namin ang iba naming teammates. This dunce had the audacity to pass out on me. And as much as I wanted to leave him here, coach will gonna kill me."

Marahan ang tango ko. "I'll call your other teammates, then?"

He snapped his fingers in agreement, now grinning like we had a strange understanding. "Exactly."

"Okay." Bahagya akong natawa sa katuwaan niya.

I typed in the number as he dictated it. Nang makailang ring na at wala pa ring sumasagot ay nag-angat ako ng may pag-aalalang tingin sa kaniya. Mula sa bahagyang pagkakapaling ng ulo, nahuli ko ang kalmadong panonood niya sa akin.

"No one's answering. May iba ka pa bang kabisang number ng iba mong teamma—" Natigilan ako nang makitang may hinugot siya sa bulsa ng suot na jeans. Pagkasulyap sa screen niyon ay ngumisi siya pabalik sa akin at mabagal na napatango.

Wait...

There was humor in his deep-set eyes as it trained into mine. Bahagya niyang itinaas ang hawak na phone, ang ngisi ay mas lumaki. "That's my number. I'll call you later, then."

"What?"

Patalikod siyang humakbang paalis, ang mga mata'y naiiwan pa sa akin.

Sa kalituhan ay napasulyap ako sa kasama niya at nakitang binibitbit na ito ng dalawa nilang teammates patungo sa isang van. Laglag ang panga ko nang muling magbalik ng tingin sa kaniya na ngayo'y naroon na sa tapat ng pintuan ng sasakyan. Bago siya pumasok ay bahagya pang nagtaas ng isang kamay sa ere bilang paalam.

The light then turned green but I couldn't seem to move my feet to cross the street. Hinayaan ko lamang ang pagdaan ng mga tao sa paligid ko, ang nagbabadyang ngiti sa mga labi ay hindi ko alintana.

What just happened? Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ba ako o ano.

My phone beeped for a message then. Pagkababa ng tingin dito'y bumungad ang isang text mula sa number na ibinigay niya kanina.

From: Unknown number

It's Terrence, by the way

The sudden reminder of our first interaction during senior high felt like a distant dream. Ilang beses man iyong magpabalik-balik sa isip ko ay hindi ko pa rin mahanap kung saang parte roon ang may posibilidad na totoo ang nangyayari ngayon. Kung paanong ang Terrence na nakilala ko noon ay iba pa lang klase ng tao...

The last few months played back on my mind as well. How Terrence tried to change his ways and how he never left my side after the incident and after knowing I wasn't well. He could've end it between us and move on with his life but he didn't. At kung may iba nga siyang pakay o motibo sa paggawa ng mga bagay na iyon ay hindi ko alam. But no matter how long I think about it, I couldn't find anything that would fit because things didn't add up.

Ano ang mapapala niya sa akin kung mananatili siya sa tabi ko ng mga panahong iyon? Wala.

The thought of him caring enough to stay with me tightened my heart. At ngayong siya ang nasa alanganing sitwasyon, gaano ako kawalang-puso para akusahan siya agad sa krimeng maaaring hindi naman niya ginawa?

He was a psychopath? He hurt his friends? He killed someone?

I didn't know any better than these guys he called his friends, but I knew better than to jump into conclusions until every detail of evidence was laid out in front of my eyes. At ang pinakaimportanteng bahagi noon ang pag-alam galing mismo sa kaniya ng totoo.

They dropped me off at my apartment after that, insisting that they would stay close by just in case something happen. Hinayaan ko sila sa gusto nilang mangyari.

I sent messages to Terrence asking if we could talk. Wala siyang naging reply. I tried calling him but there was no answer as well. Unease started creeping in me as I waited. Pacing on my room, I kept on glancing on my phone and my window. Pero kahit gaano ako katagal naghintay ay hindi siya dumating.

Hanggang sa mag-ring ang phone ko ng madaling araw dahil sa isang tawag. Dali-dali ang pagbangon ko para lang sagutin iyon.

"Hello?"

Ilang sandaling katahimikan ang isinagot sa akin nito. Bahagya ko pang nasulyapan ang screen para lang i-check kung active pa ba ang linya.

"Terrence..."

Isang mabigat na buntonghininga mula sa kabilang linya ang narinig ko. Awang ang mga labi, ang dibdib ko'y nag-umpisang kumalabog.

"Are you... are you okay?" Hindi ko nakontrol ang panginginig ng sariling boses. My throat tightened as he kept his silence, refusing to say anything.

Uminit ang magkabilang sulok ng mga mata ko. Sinapo ko ang mga labi para sa mahihinang hikbi. Sa kabila ng takot sa maaaring sagot na marinig ay pilit kong hinugot ang lakas ng loob upang itanong ito sa kaniya, "You're not... you're not behind the murders... right?"

Nanatili siyang tahimik. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang iisipin ko.

"Terrence, please... tell me you got nothing to do with the killings... please... I know you can't do something like that... please... please say something..."

I was growing desperate for answers but more than anything, there was a crippling dejection creeping in my gut. I didn't want to believe that his friends were right.

"Rence..." Pikit ang basang mga mata, paulit-ulit na sumisikip ang dibdib ko habang naghihintay ng tugon mula sa kaniya. My hand was clenched on a fistful of hair in my head as I sobbed. "Please..."

I heard him drew in a tight breath before he finally spoke these words in a quiet, hard tone, "You were right. Let's end this fucked-up relationship."

I was left frozen in daze as I held my breath. Hindi ko na nagawang magsalita pa hanggang sa maputol ang linya. Tanging ang sunod-sunod na beep ng pagtatapos ng tawag ang umalingawngaw sa tainga ko sa sobrang katahimikan.

Why? No. No... Why would he say that if he got nothing to do... with... no... that couldn't be... he wasn't... no...

Sa pagitan ng mga bagong hikbing kumakawala sa pagitan ng nanginginig kong mga labi ay hinarap ko ang phone at d-in-ial ang number niya. Habang dinidinig ang ring nito'y palakas nang palakas ang dagundong at paninikip ng dibdib ko. Sapo ko na ang mga labi dahil sa hindi maawat kong mga hikbi.

Why didn't he say anything? Ibig bang sabihin totoo ang mga akusasyon sa kaniya? Siya ang nasa likod ng mga pagpatay?

No! He couldn't be!

Panay ang iyak ko buong sandali habang sinusubukan ko siyang tawagan. Pero ni isa roo'y wala siyang sinagot. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang dapat kong isipin at maramdaman. Dahil tila unti-unting bumabaligtad ang mundo sa harap ko.

There wasn't any sign of him the next morning, even at campus. Ilang beses ko siyang sinubukang tawagan ngunit unreachable na ang linya. Worry and disbelief washed over me in a perpetual discomfort. Pakiramdam ko'y may nakalimutan akong bagay. Na para akong may naiwan at kailangang balikan. It felt like something in me was missing but I didn't even know what it was—like a void growing bigger by the time.

A week had passed. And just like that, Terrence suddenly disappeared in thin air. He left that night, to where—no one knew. He was gone before the authorities went to their house for another questioning. And he didn't show up until the end of the first semester. There wasn't any trace of him anywhere at Willow Grove. And I really hate to think it but after that call and now his disappearance, it only meant one thing: he was in hiding because he was guilty of the murders.

"There's still no concrete evidence pointed at him but his disappearance even heightened the suspicion of the authorities. Bakit nga naman siya magtatago kung hindi siya guilty?" Cali drew out a defeated sigh. "Goddamn it. I still couldn't believe he did it. Kahit muntik na niya akong napatay gusto ko pa ring maniwalang hindi niya kayang pumatay ng tao sa gano'ng paraan. Seriously, skinning off your victims' faces? Only a serial killer could do that—attaining and preserving something from their victims like a fucking trophy or reward."

Katahimikan ang namayani sa table namin matapos magsalita ni Cali. We were at a diner near the campus. Sem break na pero mas pinili kong manatili sa apartment at 'wag munang umuwi sa bahay dahil gusto ko pa ring umasang babalik si Terrence. That and because something kept bugging me about that last talk we had on the phone. There could be countless of reasons why he said that and left—but after days of mulling it over, I couldn't help thinking how it wasn't like him at all. Maybe I didn't really know him which same goes with Mike but something was definitely not right—and I need to know why.

"Still can't think of any place he could be right now?" Mike asked from across the table. Sa tabi niya ay ang sarkastikong nakatingin sa akin na si Dina.

Umiling lamang ako.

"Ang sabi mo may dalawa silang rest house, Mike, 'di ba? The authorities already went and searched those places. But what if he's hiding there now?" si Cali.

"The one's currently occupied by his relatives. The other one is twelve hours away. He could be hiding there but his parents had access to that place and already said no one's there because Terrence took off somewhere they didn't know," ako na ang sumagot nito.

"What if his parents are lying?" Dina said in a flat tone with crossed arms. "They could be hiding their son."

Tinignan ko siya diretso sa mga mata mula sa tapat ng inuupuan ko. "Why would they do that if they didn't know about his link in the murders when he disappeared?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Dunno. Pero malay natin kung may nagtunog sa kanila bago pa man imbitahan para sa interrogation si Terrence? Or maybe Terrence did warn them himself? Nonetheless, the Gallevos has connections. In assumption, what if they're doing the same thing now as what they did with their other son's death years back?"

"You got a point there, D. So how about we check it ourselves?" Nakangising mukha ni Cali ang sumalubong sa akin nang binalingan ko siya ng tingin. Salikop ang magkabilang palad habang nakapatong sa lamesa.

"It's too far. Magsasayang lang tayo ng oras kung wala nga siya ro'n," ani Mike habang seryosong nakatuon ang atensyon sa screen ng phone.

Nagtaas ng magkabilang palad sa ere si Cali. "What time are you talking about, Mikey? We have plenty of it right now. It's fucking sem break!"

"Unlike you, I have things to do," iritadong tugon nito pagkasulyap sa kaibigan.

Tinapunan kami ni Cali ng tingin matapos. "Girls, are you with me on this?"

"Don't want to die yet but fucking yes." Ngumisi si Dina rito. Mike then gave her a disbelieving look that she just shrugged off. "I want some thrill out of this boring town. Don't question my life decisions."

"Hell yeah!" Cali made a fist bump with her before turning to me. "Eunice?"

Sandali akong nag-isip bago dahan-dahang tumango. "I'm in."

Nagdiwang si Cali at umamba rin ng fist bump sa akin ngunit imbes na tanggapin ay uminom lamang ako sa smoothie at binalewala iyon. Napapailing na lamang siyang ngumisi sa sarili dahil sa kawalan ko ng enthusiasm.

"Three is to one, Mikey. Any chance for reconsideration? Unless you want me to have them both for myself?"

The three of us stared at Michael as his brow knitted in a long musing. Matapos tigilan ang pagtitig sa phone ay sinuklian niya kami isa-isa ng tingin bago napabuntonghininga sa pagsuko. Habang nakapikit nang mariin ay mabagal siyang tumango.

"Alright. But before we leave, I'll need to tie some loose ends first."

Cali raised a hand. "Can I bring someone with me?"

"Not a hoe," Dina spat in disgust.

Natigilan, dahan-dahang ibinaba ni Cali ang kamay. Sabay napailing sa dismaya. "Damn it, D. You're such a party pooper." Sinundan iyon ng marahang halakhak.

Iritable siyang tinapunan ng sarkastikong ngisi ni Dina habang nakahalukipkip. "And all you think about is how you could satiate your libido. Grow the fuck up, Cal."

"Woah—calm it down!" humagalpak na ng tawa si Cali, mukhang hindi naaapektuhan ng mga insulto ni Dina. Or maybe he had been numbed by it. I don't know. And I didn't really care about their banters because all I could think of was the possibility of Terrence being there.

This was undeniably another reckless plan. And we might be heading to meet our ends without even knowing it. But I couldn't take off the feeling of anticipation that I would get to see him again—and hopefully learn the truth directly from him. Kahit hindi pa man ito kumpirmado.

Nasaan ka, Terrence?