Close the blinds, it's too bright

I've got a pounding head

And not enough meds

--From the song Wasted

Lyrics by Orion Bauwens

I wait in the basement until I hear mom shuffling around. I'm dressed, teeth brushed. I bound up the stairs, giving myself a quick pep talk.

"Morning!" I say brightly, coming off as though I didn't just make myself throw up fifteen minutes ago and like I'm not in the throws of a really bad hangover.

She jumps and shouts in surprise, then laughs. "God, Orion, I forgot you were here..."

I plaster a grin on my face. That's my trick and always has been--just be overly exuberant to hide the pain.

Hmm. Maybe I should apply that to other aspects of my life, too.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

She waves her hand. "It's fine. How did you sleep?"

"Like a rock."

Hey, it's not a lie. Being passed-out drunk qualifies as that.

"Are you a coffee drinker?"

"Yes," I say perhaps a little too excitedly. It had grown on me, and I knew it would help my head.

"I'm not, sorry."

My face falls. I probably look like someone whose dog just was shot.

Bad analogy. Ugh.

"But," my mom continues, pointing to the left, "there's a Starbucks not too far from here. Just up the main road. You can borrow my car if you like."

"What?! No, I couldn't--"

"Sure you can. I don't start work until nine, that gives you plenty of time."

"Are you sure?"

She laughs. "It's just a coffee run."

"Excellent," I reply with a sigh of relief. "Did you want anything?"

"No, the tea I have here is fine, thanks."

When I get back from grabbing my keys, wallet, and coat, my mom is at the kitchen table eating breakfast.

"Are you sure you don't need anything while I'm out?"

"No, I'm alright." She smiles fondly. "Whoever raised you raised you right."

I catch myself before I scowl. You have no idea...

As soon as I'm out the door I drop the facade. My head is absolutely killing me. I get into the car and immediately crank the heat. As I wait for it to warm, I grip the steering wheel and press my forehead against the back of my hands.

Were hangovers always this bad? If they were I'm never gonna do this again. I shudder, thinking about detox. Yeah no. Not worth it.

Just then my cell vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out, looking at the screen with just one eye open. It's a text from Amy.

You better be behaving!!! 😤

I sigh and type a quick response.

Yes, mother. Omw 4 coffee. U better be paying attention in class!!!

I put my phone away and press my throbbing head against the steering wheel, shutting my eyes. Why oh why didn't I grab my sunglasses? My phone vibrates in my pocket.

"Oh for fuck's sake, now what!"

I immediately feel bad. It's a text from Tristan.

Morning sunshine!

Three little dots show he's texting more. I wait, smiling.

Miss you already. Yeah that's corny. Whatever.

More dots.

Love you.

God, I'm such a fuck. I'm never drinking again. I text him back.

I love you too, Tristan. Please never stop being corny, makes me feel good.

With a smile on my face, I drive away for some much needed coffee.

~

"Orion! Are you home?"

I am, in fact, home. Well, not my home, but my mother's. Although it really is starting to feel like home.

"Yeah," I shout up to Amy, hearing the sound of thudding backpacks as they're dropped on the floor above me, "in the basement!"

I look at my phone. Woah, shit, it really is 4PM already. I've spent the entire day in the basement with my guitar. I've even done some lyric writing. It's not any good but hey, at least I'm doing something productive.

I hear trampling feet on the stairs and then Amy is in front of me. Without even so much as a hello, she leans forward. "Breath check."

I raise my eyebrow. "You're joking, right?"

"Nope, serious as a heart attack."

So I breathe in her face. She immediately pulls back, holding her nose.

"Disgusting. You smell like cigarettes."

"Well, I did just come in from having one...Did I pass your stupid test?"

"For now." She flops down in an armchair to my right, sighing dramatically. "I'm bored."

I laugh, looking down at my guitar and playing it absentmindedly. "You just got home."

"I'm bored! Entertain me!"

"Excuse me?"

"You said a while ago that I reminded you of Anna, and she's a princess. So entertain me, loyal subject!"

I laugh. "Fuck you! No!" I go back to plucking the strings. "Besides, the more I get to know you the less you remind me of her."

Amy sticks out her tongue.

"Then again..."

She laughs. Just then my stomach growls. Loudly.

"Hungry?"

"Yeah...I kinda, um, forgottoeattoday..."

"Dear Lord. Well John is getting a snack and I'm sure he'll be down shortly." She then turns to the stairs and shouts. "Yo, fuckface! Hurry up, we're hungry down here!"

"Fuck you!" is the immediate response.

I roll my eyes, though really I'm stifling a laugh. "Charming."

She looks at me and leans back, a wolfish grin on her face. "Guilty as charged!"

"Do you guys always speak to each other like that?"

"Yeah--whenever mom's not around. When she's around we're the epitome of ideal, upstanding citizens."

I snort and go back to my playing.

Not even a minute later John comes down with a steaming bowl of cheese-and-jalapeno covered nachos. He sets it down on the table, removing the oven mitts he had used to carry it down. My eyes go huge.

"Careful," he warns, kneeling at the table as Amy comes over. "It's hot."

As I gingerly set my guitar in its case, Amy grabs a chip and then immediately pulls her hand back.

"Yow!"

"I told you it was hot, idiot."

"I told you it's hot, idiot," she mocks in a nasally voice. It earns her a shove.

"Mature, Aims."

I dig in, not caring how hot it is. I'm absolutely starving. I blow on it viciously and then pop it into my mouth.

"Ohmygawd, this is so good."

John laughs at me and I don't even care.

"It's just chips, shredded cheddar cheese, and canned jalapenos that I popped in the microwave."

"Don't care," I say, reaching for a second and third. "Haven't eaten since breakfast. Thanks, dude."

"Let me guess--you didn't eat anything because you didn't want to take mom's food without paying, or you felt guilty or some shit?"

For a moment I simply just look at my brother. It's a little shocking he knows me well enough already to know that's something I'd actually do. I'm kinda touched, to be honest.

I grin. "While that is something I would do, you're wrong. I simply forgot to eat."

He screws up his face, which makes him look like me when I make that face. "How do you forget to eat?"

I'm suddenly embarrassed, grabbing three more nachos. Sometimes I forget normal people--non-creative people, that is--don't usually get so caught up in what they're doing they don't eat. It comes with the territory of being an artist, regardless of the medium.

"Um, I was writing music."

"Cool! Can we hear?"

"Sorry, no."

He looks annoyed. "Why not?"

I chuckle and shake my head, grabbing more nachos. "That's not how it works, sorry."

When he practically pouts at me I continue.

"Would you go out in public buck-ass naked?"

"Um, what?"

Besides me, Amy dissolves into peels of laughter.

"I said, would you go out--"

"I heard what you said, but I don't get why you said it."

"Playing a song for someone before it's finished feels like going outside naked to me. It's embarrassing. It's uncomfortable. It's..."

"Wrong?" Amy offers.

I grin at her. "Yeah! It is, it really is."

John shakes his head, smirking. "Whatever you say, Orion..."

Amy nudges me with her shoulder and then whispers in my ear.

"But you'll play it for me, right?"

I look at her. Honestly, yeah, I probably will end up playing it for her. I'm starting to realize we're cut from the same cloth.

I grin and whisper back. "Maybe."

"Ass."

I laugh. I'm totally gonna play it for her.