6 | But I Want to Go Out and Play

sateh (sah-teh) verb

Cause something to stop happening; cease to happen

Archaic; from the ancient song Ushas From the North

***

Laku was frowning at a scroll, not reading it, but thinking about Tia Turvass. She was an odd girl. Did not even utter a word while they dined together three days ago. Was she embarrassed to be in his presence? That she assumed a different identity, met a man, and then allowed him to kiss her? But why should she? Technically, he did the same. On the contrary, it should please her he was the same man she met that night because he knew he was. It doesn't matter. It would not be long before she would show him her sweet and charming side again.

"You're not paying attention," his mother reprimanded beside him.

"I am," he murmured, blinking at the scroll before him. "And it's in Tomera." He turned to his mother, then to Kalesch, who stood before them with his hand at his sides. "I can't read Tomera."

His mother sighed and gracefully reached for the scroll, rolled it, and handed it back to Kalesch. "Just tell us what it says."

Kalesch nodded and started speaking. "The last Oracle foresaw that the next one would be born three-hundred-and-six years after his death. That was eighteen years ago. We have been in constant search for the next Oracle, and we—my father—believe we have found her."

"Your wife?"

"Rayeshka," Kalesch corrected with a nod, face impassive as he said the word. "She predicted King Amatif's death among others."

"How certain are we that she's the one?"

"We're not. We can only wait and see if her other predictions will come true." A small silence followed. Laku did not know what to say, or if he had anything good to add at all. His mother seemed to be waiting for something else, so he did the same. "But we may not want to wait, Your Majesties. She has predicted the death of the Kgosi empire."

Laku's eyes widened. "What do you mean the death of the empire?"

Kalesch looked him in the eyes, the way he always did whenever he wanted Laku to absorb whatever he was about to say. "She foresaw that the empire will fall following your death."

To hear he was about to die was incredulous more than it was mortifying. Who said Oracles were real? In this day and age, they should stop believing about myths. He had always found it ridiculous that they had a temple of the last Oracle in Kgosi, which to this day, people still prayed on like he was a god. And looking at Kalesch now, he could tell that the man also did not believe everything he just said. But his mother did, and she had stood in alarm at Kalesch's revelation.

***

Karei was sent out to the desert and it was all her fault. Her mother wondered why she would not go out of her room, her father asked if it had something to do with their secret. It had nothing to do with possibly being the Oracle. It had to do with her own secret. And the fact that her own rayeshka would not believe her, and that he did nothing to stop Karei's banishment, was very disappointing. Even Prince Laku was more interested in a pretty usha girl from Achnus. She was being failed time and time again because she asked the wrong people for help.

Rolling on her bed, she wondered what she could do. Getting into the tomb to review the things she carved into the arnucc was the main goal. But she could not do that now. She would have to wait for when they opened the tomb again to deliver the treasures inside. For now, the only possible thing was rescuing Karei. Should she go to the desert and search for her? But it was forbidden and dangerous. Should she risk it anyway? She should, but where would she start? How was she going to do it?

She buried her face in her pillow and groaned. Last night, she joined her mother and sisters to pray in front of the king's tomb. Alika was there to receive their offerings, but Nascha knew the woman was also present when they sent Karei out. The two women were never friends. So why did she go to the forest to send off Karei? It was not a priestess' job.

A tiny voice—an idea—nagged at her. An echo in her endless series of disconnected thoughts. "What if it has something to do with the tomb?"

Apart from her father, Alika was the most obsessed about the king's tomb. She wanted it to be perfect, to be the best. Everything she did was for the tomb. It would be her life's legacy. So what could be the connection between the tomb, Alika, and Karei?

The first answer that came to her arrested her. Oh, she was horrible just thinking about it... But... But what if it's true?

No, don't think about it, Nascha. Sateh! It might come true. Don't talk about it to anyone. It's horrible!

Her door opened and her mother rushed in, picking up wraps along the way. "Get dressed, Nascha. Wash your hair until your scalp hurts. Then we'll fix those hair rings."

"What?" she absently asked, willing her mind to focus on the moment.

Her mother straightened, stern look on her face. "I don't know why, and your pahl is not telling me, but both the queen and the prince asked for you."

***

He must now think I'm boring, Zaria whined inside Tia's mind.

He must think I'm crazy, she retorted with ire. How many times have I told you, Zaria? You're not taking over while we're in Tomesh.

I wanted to meet him, replied Zaria. We had a great time. And now, it has been three days and he has not yet called for us again. You made a very bad impression.

I'm not happy about what Zaria did, Nym inserted, but I agree that you did a terrible job, Tia. You said he needs to like you. Staring at him without saying anything was not a good idea.

He talked too much, she reasoned.

He talks about interesting things, Zaria said. Maybe I should take over. Make him like us more.

No. You do as I say. I'm on the spot while we're here. No sneaking out, no games. My body needs rest.

But I want to go out and play, Nym whined.

She closed them off with a blink. It was easy for her now, but she had not yet mastered how to keep them out whenever she was asleep. Zaria always found a way to take the spot when her mind was at rest. And Nym would do the same. It was hard enough to share the same space in her mind with them, but it was harder to share the same body. Most mornings, she would wake up tired with no recollection of where she went or what she did. And they did not always share what they did. Nym would, but it was always about playing outside. Zaria, on the other hand, would not get into details. Even now, she refused to tell them everything she did with Laku.

It would help if they were useful, but they were not. All Zaria cared about was having a good time with men her age, and Nym always wanted to play with other children. They told her she was too serious, that she had to loosen up.

"The most important thing, my daughter," her father said a long time ago, "is that you remain to be the strongest when you're awake."

But that's the problem. She was stronger than Zaria and Nym when she was awake, but not when she was asleep. For so long, her childhood had been filled with fear of sleep. She did not want to close her eyes, afraid that when she opened them, she would have no recollection of what she did—what they did.

"We'll post guards outside the tent," her mother told her after their visit to the queen and Prince Laku. "If they do something that will endanger our mission, your brothers won't be pleased. For now, do not worry too much about it. The union is still happening."

No, it isn't, she thought to herself. He'll die before the wedding. She searched for Zaria and found her in her bright corner, still awake.

I'll let you kill him, Tia, don't worry. I just hope you'll let me play with him before you do.

***

The royal camp was blessed with shade. It was tucked between two buttes, the one that held the king's tomb, and the other where the queen's future tomb was also being built. There were only two ways to get in: the two ends of the valley created by the two buttes, and both were heavily guarded. The air inside the valley was cool, a stark contrast to the blistering heat of the open desert field between the village and the Belt of Temples.

Kalesch was already waiting for them. He was in a blue and gold wrap, his hair covered in white cloth, secured by a simple gold band. But it was the pendant hanging from his neck ornament that gave her pause: a purple diamond stone encrusted with a gold star. The sign of their marriage.

She tore her eyes off the yeshka and forced herself to look at him. Did he wear it today because they would be facing the royal family? She knew she was wearing hers because her mother forced it on her.

Her father, of course, traveled with her, quite ecstatic. He only told her mother to not worry, that Nascha did nothing wrong. Oh, the guilt that ate her almost made her sick. But now, worry took place. Seeing Kalesch reminded her of what she told him: her carvings, how they came true. What if he told the prince and the queen? Kalesch did not believe her, so it was possible. Was he delivering her to her death?

The feeling of dread was worse when Kalesch stepped forward and told her father that only Nascha was allowed inside. Then she was hurt for her father when his face fell in disappointment. "Why not?" she questioned angrily.

"It's fine," her father said, pushing her toward Kalesch. "Go with your rayeshka. I'll wait for you outside."

"It's best if you go home, Kam Yakine," Kalesch told her father. "I'll take Nascha back myself."

"But—" Her father stopped her protest with a smile. But the despondent look in his eyes clenched at her heart. "I'll wait for you at home," he said. Nascha shook her head. He wore his best clothes today. Why could he not join her? "Take care of my daughter, Kalesch Djozeh," he added, stepping back.

Nascha gritted her teeth. Her father had been looking forward to this moment more than anyone. For someone who shared everything with his wife, he said nothing to her and kept everything a secret just because he was told to. He had been practicing what he should tell the queen, even practiced his Kgos on the way here. He even asked her mother to cook something nice for when they returned because he had great news to share about Nascha, their dear youngest daughter. And now he was being pushed aside?

And what would she do without him?

"Nascha," Kalesch said beside her, voice even. As her father turned away, she glared at her husband. He looked away and cleared his throat. Was he guilty? Well, not enough!

"If something happens to me, you better save me," she murmured under her breath.

He did not say a word and stepped forward. She looked over her shoulder again and forced a smile when her father waved at her before he turned the corner and disappeared.

"I swear, Kalesch, if something happens to me, you better save me," she repeated.

"I heard you the first time," he murmured back, this time touching her elbow.

The tent was beyond her imagination. It was golden and red and bright. It had everything she wanted, except the people inside with her. Servants lined the path to the center of the space where the queen and the prince sat.

And just as she expected, the fool's eyes widened and he gaped at her. "You! My friend!" He laughed, turned to his mother, and laughed some more. "Goodness! I did not know Pareysha is that small!"

"Friend?" Kalesch asked, turning to her.

"He was lost," she lied, throwing Prince Laku a look of warning. The man nodded conspiratorially.

"You sneaked out?" the queen asked.

"I was lost," Laku lied. "I only meant to get some air."

Unlike Nascha's claim, no one seemed to believe him. The queen faced her, studied her. Laku was doing the same, smiling at her, then at Kalesch, amused disbelief on his face. Nascha would not call the queen a beautiful woman or an ugly one. However, she looked expensive. The crown on her head was long, making her appear taller than her son. And it was probably heavy too. Her earrings were grand, covering her ears. The necklace was nearly as large as her wrap. She would not survive if she stepped into an air pocket in the desert. She would just fall right in a heartbeat. When she smiled, the sharp edges of her face softened and the long, blue painted lines over her lids disappeared into the folds. "My dear, I hope you are feeling well."

Nascha smiled. What else could she say? She was not feeling well.

"I hope you're ready for your journey."

She was just thinking about the food her mother was cooking, the things she would tell her father and how she could make him feel better after this visit, that the queen's words did not immediately register. When they did, Nascha thought she heard wrong. She turned to Kalesch, who looked baffled.

It was her husband who asked, "Journey?"

The queen nodded. "If she is the Oracle, she cannot stay here. The other ushas are on their way." Her eyes never left Nascha. "We can't let them discover your existence, Nascha Yakine. Everyone will want to get their hands on you." She turned to Kalesch. "Escort your rayeshka to Kgosi. Take Laku with you."

The smile on Laku's face froze, and he blinked in confusion. "What?"

The queen lifted her chin to show the finality of her decision. "We must keep the Oracle safe." She stood and went to Nascha, took her hands and brought it to her lips. Did the queen just kiss her hand? Om Miativ! "It is an honor to be living the same lifetime as you, my dear."

Laku had also risen, looking more like a lost child than a man who would soon be king. "Mother, in case you forgot, we still have much to discuss," he said. "Did she not predict my death? Perhaps we should talk more about that. We're not even sure she's the Oracle."

"That's why you're coming back to Kgosi where it's safe, son. We'll talk once I get back after the final closing of your father's tomb. As Kalesch said, we can't waste time proving she's the Oracle. Your life and that of the empire is on the line." She let go of Nascha's hand. "Before one or both of you gets killed, you must leave Tomesh. No one can find out."

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