Chapter Eight

The next day, I refused to get out of bed.

I had returned to Tartarus, sore and aching. Bruises clustered my throat, chest, and thighs. I felt disgusting and used. I didn't want to sit or walk or do work. For the first time, I was ready to give up on all of my responsibilities. Instead, I informed my staff that I wasn't feeling well and warned them to steer clear of my quarters, as well as Noe's. That seemed to worry them. They probably thought whatever Noe had was contagious. I didn't correct them or make a fuss when they sent their children to live with relatives somewhere else.

I kept my room locked and the drapes pulled shut as I lay in bed on my side after applying ointment to the scratches that ran the length of my back. I tied my hair back into a loose ponytail, because red was the last color I wanted to see right now. I changed the sheets and drapes of my room to periwinkle and white in an attempt to soothe my dignity that felt as if too had been beaten and molested, which in a way, it really had.

I sighed deeply, propping myself up on an elbow, moving the cursor across the screen of my laptop as I did my best to do my work from bed, but it was difficult to concentrate. I was tired and aching. I wanted to return to sleep, but sleep evaded me. Where were the oneiroi when I truly needed them?

I was also tempted to take a dip in the river Lethe in an attempt to forget everything that had happened when I had visited Apollo's temple in Olympus, but I wouldn't be able to get out in time to remember everything else. Apollo had informed me that he would summon Noe to his temple as soon as the spell wore off. In the mean time, I was to figure out who fed him whatever to make him an oracle. That way I could kill them and put them out of submission, in case they tried it again, as someone was working under Titan command, which I made a mental note to tell the others at the meeting tomorrow.

If I could make it, I thought bitterly. I laid back on the bed gently, hissing past clenched teeth at the rough sheets on the scratches on my back. I closed my eyes, taking deep breathes as I tried to calm myself enough to sleep, but my mind kept racing.

Who was working for Phoebe? How did they get the power to turn Noe into an oracle? How did they do it without anyone noticing? How was I supposed to explain to Noe how I did all of this, without slipping up about my "relationship" with Apollo? Did I remember to send the most recent prisoner log to the guardsmen on level two? Did I send it to my father? Did I write checks for the servants? What was the name of the cable provider again?

I groaned deep in my throat and rolled back over my side, reaching out to open up my laptop again and double check my work when I heard a hiss from outside my room. I frowned and shut my laptop, pushing the blankets back and climbing out of bed. I grabbed a white silk robe and tugged it on, doing the belt before I went to my door, unlocking it and stepping out into the hallway to see Noe sitting across the hall from my room, a spider sticking out of his mouth and another one thrashing in his palm, obviously in pain as a reaction to Noe's feverish skin.

"Noe?" I asked, shutting the door behind me. I quickly looked up and down the hallways to make sure no one had spotted him before I looked back to see him chewing on the helpless spider in his mouth. A chill coursed up my spine at the sickening crunches and the way its legs twitched between his lips. His eyes were glowing eerily in the same fashion they'd done before. Other than that, and the fact that he was eating spiders, he looked normal.

"Noe, take that out of your mouth." I commanded, taking a step toward him. Noe twitched and jerked his head up, staring at me with those eerie glowing eyes of his. He flicked his tongue out of his mouth, licking the last of the spider legs into his mouth. I grimaced, my stomach churning at the sight of it. He swallowed it and went to add the next spider to his mouth, which had been fried from his fever and was now curled up in his palm. I reached out, caught him by the wrist and shook the thing out onto the floor, using my foot to scoot it away before I pulled Noe up to his feet. He hissed at me, but I didn't let go, even with the heat of his fever sizzling my skin.

"Noe, enough." I ordered. Noe frowned, looking confused for a moment. The light in his eyes flickered like a lightbulb going out before returning to normal. He blinked rapidly and looked around, bewildered.

"What- What's going on?" He managed. I frowned, releasing his wrist and taking a step back.

"You left your room. You don't remember?" I asked, concerned. He shook his head, reaching up to brush the hair back from his face. He panted, shaking his head as a response. I winced inwardly and took him by the hand, leading him into my room and taking him to the bathroom where my large tub sat. I waved my hand and filled the tub with water as I led Noe to the edge.

"Your fever is back. You need to cool off." I advised. Noe just nodded dizzily and stripped his clothes off right in front of me. My body instantly reacted and I retreated back from him, watching his clothes slide off his sweaty pale skin. The only color was in his cheeks. I held my breath as he shook his hair out before stepping into the tub, giving me a detailed view of his backside. I averted my eyes, feeling my blood descend sharply to my groin.

"I'll get ice." I said, leaving the bathroom instantly. I couldn't afford to stand near him. It was any wonder my body could still react so normally after my visit with Apollo. Remembering that little experience immediately quelled my lust and I went to the kitchen, fetching a large bowl of ice, coming back to find Noe laying down in the tub, his head resting on the silk pillow built into the side of the tub. I poured the ice in and Noe's teeth began to chatter. He looked at me timidly, his periwinkle eyes marred with dark circles under his eyes, a sharp contrast to his pale skin.

"S'cold." He managed, shivering.

"I'm sorry," I apologized quietly, coming to kneel beside the tub, "But we need to bring your fever down." He just nodded, resting his head back against the silk pillow, his eyes flickering toward me, then away, then suddenly back again. He shot up in the tub, staring at me.

"Zelios, what're those?" He asked, his voice hoarse and trembling. I frowned, confused, until I followed his gaze and dropped my eyes to look down at my collarbone. I felt the blood drain from my face at the bruises that sprinkled up from my chest and around my neck. I shot to my feet, clearing my throat.

"Nothing. I want you to stay in this tub until your fever goes down, do you understand?" I demanded. Noe looked at me, bewildered as he tried to get up, but I caught him by the shoulders and lowered him back down into the water to keep him from coming after me. So he took that chance to reach up and rip my robe belt open, letting it fall open. I gasped, and so did Noe. I snapped back, away from the tub, tying my belt tightly around my waist and glaring at Noe as he stared at me, still looking shocked, and if I wasn't mistaken, agonized.

"Zelios--"

"Don't touch me," I ordered angrily, "I did not give you permission to do that. I told you it was none of your business and you insisted." Noe blinked rapidly, his mouth moving, but no sound coming out. He looked confused and hurt. I wanted to apologize, but the shame and anger flooded through my veins sharply. I felt like I was the one burning up now. I left the bathroom before I made anymore stupid mistakes, slamming it shut behind me. I wasn't sure what to do now. I didn't want to be here, that was for sure. I didn't want Noe to see what it had cost me to save him. It would hurt him.

You already did that. I winced inwardly, trying to get the image of Noe's expression out of my head, but it was so hard. He looked like I had slapped him. I had never spoken to him like that before. I always took great care to speak to him gently. Others say I spoiled him, and that was true. I admitted to it, but I didn't want to treat him like my brothers treated their righthands.

Granted Cerberus and Leon were very close, but even Leon pushed the limits and Cerberus would have to punish him, usually by sending him on multiple errands that keep him so busy he can't sleep or drink or anything fun that he usually does.

Cain severely abused Hannibal. It was obvious every time we all came together for meetings. Cain was sadistic and twisted. If he wasn't torturing Hannibal, he was torturing Abel. He thrived off the pain of others.

And while Charon and Kyros were also close, Kyros did everything for Charon. He did everything from paper work to errands to even running the ferry of death while Charon just sat there and zoned out most of the time.

Theo and Sept? They may be lovers, but Theo had a bit of a sadistic streak him, and masochistic, mostly the latter.

Malachi and Abel were brothers, but Malachi still punished Abel severely if he disobeyed his rules.

I couldn't bring myself to harm Noe, not while he looked at me with those uniquely periwinkle eyes. I couldn't bear the thought of hurting Noe. I'd kill myself before ever harming him... I'd even give myself up to Apollo for him, and the thought made me sick to my stomach. While I didn't regret myself choice, it was still a harsh one and my body throbbed everywhere as a reminder of what I was paying for. I swallowed hard at that, reaching up to rub at my neck as I went to my wardrobe and opened it up to reveal the full length mirror there. Sure enough, the bruises were angry and dark. I can't believe I actually thought a thin robe would be able to hide this.

I slipped the robe off and grabbed a long sleeved turtleneck from the bottom of my wardrobe. It was made of a thin material, but it was dark enough to hide what Apollo had done. I pulled it on over my head and grabbed a pair of black leather pants. I took out a silk red and white robe to throw on over top of it all, tying the belt shut just as I heard the bathroom door open. I turned to see Noe coming out, shivering a little with a plush white towel around himself. He looked so small and fragile. I swallowed the lump in my throat as he looked down at his feet, still looking a bit confused.

"Has your fever gone down?" I asked, approaching him. He simply nodded. My heart ached. I knew I had hurt him by snapping suddenly. I reached out to press my hand to his forehead, his eyes fluttering shut. I brushed the hair back from his face, using my other hand to lift his head so he was looking up at me, those periwinkle orbs flashing in the lights.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," I murmured in apology, watching him blink in surprise, "It was uncalled for. I had no right to speak to you like that." Noe shifted uncomfortably, stepping back and lowering his eyes again, giving his head a little shake.

"No, no," He said quietly, "I shouldn't have asked when you obviously don't want to talk about it. I'm the one who's supposed to be apologizing, Zelios. I'm your righthand, not the other way around." I frowned.

"But that still wasn't right of me to--"

"It was," Noe cried suddenly, exasperated, "Stop treating me like a kid! I'm an adult! I already told you that. I'm your righthand. I'm your servant. If I do something bad, you're supposed to punish me." I frowned even more at that. Was he asking me to punish him? Why? I couldn't understand it, and Noe didn't seem to want to explain anymore as he cleared his throat and retreated for the door, despite the fact that he was only in a towel.

"Besides," Noe managed, making me tilt my head in confusion at his quivering voice, "You're an adult too. You just never told me you had a girlfriend." I scowled for a second, completely lost, until I remembered what brought on our argument in the first place. I winced. He misunderstood.

"Noe, I do not have--"

"It doesn't matter," Noe exclaimed, waving his hands around nervously, "You don't have to tell me. I don't, uhm, actually, I really don't want to hear it. I'm just... I'm gonna go to my room and try to eat some of the food the servants brought. Sorry I caused a huge mess." He didn't even let me speak until he was out the door, slamming it shut behind him. I was confused by why he was so upset at the idea of me having a lover, not that I ever would. Nor did I consider Apollo my lover. We were making a deal and it just happened to involve sex. There was nothing lovable about our relationship at all, especially since it was entirely one-sided.

I just didn't understand why it would upset him so much to where he was almost losing his composure. I sighed and shook my head, pushing it out of mind. I had too many other important things to worry about right now. There was no time to worry about relationships. I went to my laptop and brought it to my office where I finished most of my work. I managed to send out prison logs, upped the grigora intakes for the Titans, read emails on shipments being made both to Tartarus and other parts of the Underworld. Tartarus had some of the rarest items, including stones and the largest supply of Greek fire. I also made several notes to remind me of the meeting tomorrow in Inferi with the others as well as marks on the calender to indicate the days that Apollo would need to feed Noe.

I tried not to think about the payment for that as I got up to leave when there was a knock on my door. I looked up with a frown as a water daemon servant came in with a delivery man. I recognized him as the one from before who'd delivered me the sword that I had melted down into a goblet.

"What can I do for you?" I asked, approaching him as he held out a package to me, blowing a lock of blonde hair out of his face.

"Another package for you, Lord Zelios." He informed. I frowned, taking the small package from him and turning it over, but there wasn't a sender name on it. I glanced at him, taking out a couple of drachmas, but he waved his hand.

"It was paid in advance."

"By whom?"

"Apollo." I almost choked at the response, but managed to nod and wave for him and the servant to leave. I waited until they were gone before I locked the door and went to my desk, placing the package down and opening up the brown wrapping paper. Inside was a small box that looked like it would carry a wedding ring of some sort. I narrowed my eyes and opened the top.

Rage shot through my veins like fire at the sight of a small cock ring inside with a tiny button meant to turn on a vibration settling. I seethed and went to throw it away when I saw a small note tagged beneath the ring. I curled my lip in repungence, taking the small note out and seeing Apollo's chicken scratch handwriting on it.

Zelios,

I bought you a gift that I expect you to wear upon your return.

Forever yours,

Apollo

I wanted to return to Olympus and shove the filthy item down his throat and watch him choke. The rage I had managed to swallow down was flying out full force. I managed to walk to my onyx black fire place, setting the "gift" down on top of it before I went to my desk. I tried to calm myself, but my anger snapped back full force and I let out an angry snarl, grabbing my desk and flipping it. Papers flew everywhere, the glass metronome shattering upon impact on the floor, laptop skittering dangerously close to the fire place. I panted hard, having difficulty seeing through the red blanket of rage that cloaked me. I paced my office, trying to gather back my control so that I could at least make it to my room.

That sick sadist. How dare he deliver that wretched thing to me, and so publicly! What if the delivery man had opened it and looked inside? My stomach clenhed at the thought of anyone discovering what was happening between Apollo and I. The rage was still hot in my veins as I finally left my office, unable to bear the sight of the damned thing sitting above my fire place, glinting in the lights.

I stormed back to my room and slammed the door shut. I stripped down, making my way to the bathroom where I took a shower, not wanting to be in the tub where Noe had once been. I stood under the warm water, taking deep breathes. Part of me wanted to take the "gift" and very painfully return it to its sender, but if I did that, Noe would be in trouble.

I squeezed my eyes shut, gritting my teeth.

Noe. Just think about Noe. This is for Noe. Everything up until now has been for Noe.

And while the thought cooled my anger, it didn't ease the shame that weighed heavily down on my shoulders. Nothing could take that away. It was branded on my soul.

After having agreed to the contract with Apollo, I'd been taken to his room where he proceeded to inform me of exactly what he enjoyed in a lover. It had made my stomach churn. The man accepted just about any fetish in existence, including having his nymphs join the two of us from time to time. What he didn't inform them of was that he didn't trust them, so he'd kill them after we were done and call in more for the next round. It disgusted me. Apollo wasn't normally cruel, which meant what I had asked him had been a very dangerous thing. Apollo was ensuring that, should Zeus find out, I too would suffer more than just Zeus's wrath and my father's-- Apollo would tear me to pieces and rip my soul from existence, absorbing my powers in the process. Even worse was that I knew, should our plan fail, everyone would find out about what Apollo and I had done and my reputation would be sullied. Everyone would look back on my memory in disgust.

Including Noe, and that stung worst of all.

I took deep breathes, trying to calm myself further. I couldn't sleep like this, and I needed the rest if I was going to the meeting with my brothers tomorrow. Hopefully the spell would at least keep at bay any suspicious behavior for Noe, long enough for him to last the meeting before we returned home again. Once the spell wore off, I would take him to Apollo to have his abilities controlled by said god.

I shut the water off and stepped out, grabbing a towel and drying off. I went into my room and shut off the lights, climbing into bed with a heavy sigh. Not even the soft sheets against my bare skin was lulling me to sleep. It was far too difficult when a million thoughts were racing through my head at once.

After what felt like two hours, I finally felt myself drifting off to sleep. For the first time in a while, I was in a deep enough sleep to actually dream. I wasn't sure where I was, but to me, it was like Elysium.

Bright green grass seemed to stretch for miles on one side and on the other was a thick forest of pines. The dream was so vivid that I could feel the warmth of the sun on my face, the scent of the fresh grass and pines. The wind was cool and blew my hair over my shoulders in slashes of deep red. I was laying in the grass, savoring the feel of it tickling my skin when I felt someone's presence.

I blinked my eyes open and found Noe looking down at me, sitting on his hands and knees as he laughed at me, his eyes dancing in the sunlight.

"Zelios, what are you doing?" He asked, sitting back on his knees as I sat up, turning to look at him. I loved the way the sunlight cascaded down on his dark hair and his porcelain skin. He gave me a boyish smile, tilting his head in questioning.

"Just thinking." I told him at last. He wrinkled his nose adorably, scooting closer so he was sitting right in front of me.

"You think too much," He responded playfully, reaching out to take a lock of my hair in his palm, looking down at it as if he couldn't think of anything better, "Let me distract you." I looked at him curiously, then watched, speechless as he climbed into my lap, straddling me. He smiled down at me, putting his arms around my neck. He leaned down and showered my face with little kisses that felt like the gentle touch of butterfly wings. My heart fluttered in my chest as I breathed out a sigh.

"You look so surprised." He commented, rubbing his nose on my cheek. I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice.

"I am." I managed at last. Noe shook his head and hugged my head close to his chest so I could hear the vicious pounding of his heart. I savored the sound of it, like a beautiful song, his voice the soothing lyrics as I wrapped my arms around his waist to hold him close.

"You shouldn't be," He murmured, resting his head on top of mine, his cheek nuzzling my hair, "I made it so obvious... I love you, Zelios, so much. I wish you would look at me more and treat me like an adult. Only adults can do this." I tilted my head to look up at him and his lips touched mine. I held my breath, feeling his petal soft lips pushing against mine. A hungry lust clawed its way through me and I growled low in my throat, reaching up to sink my hand into his feather soft hair, pulling him in to deepen the kiss. I parted his lips with my tongue, dipping it inside to taste the sweetness of his mouth. It tasted like honey bread. I kissed him passionately, favoring his little moans and gasps as my hand wandered up and down his back, tracing his spine. We finally broke apart, breathless from a kiss so hot and intense that my cock reacted fiercely to the attention.

"Wow," Noe whispered, dazed, his hand sliding down my chest, "That was so good."

"Indeed it was." I murmured, tracing his lips with the tip of my nose before licking at his little fangs. He moaned at that and captured my lips again in a hungry kiss. I felt his hand slide down my bare chest, my shirt having vanished long ago. His hand moved timidly, but with purpose, moving over my chest and down my stomach, sinking in between my legs. It took me a moment to realize we were both naked all of a sudden. Noe's velvet soft skin slid against mine, his palm pressing against my cock. I hissed at the sensation, holding Noe to me tightly as he stroked me. I nipped at his lips as he mewled like a precious kitten. His cheeks were flushed and hot, his cock oozing as he rubbed it against my stomach. I reached between us to run my finger up and down his shaft, making him tremble and whine.

No more than a moment later, my body gave up the battle and I released into his palm, watching him gasp and come against my palm. I smiled at that, tilting my head to look up into his panting face, his eyes hooded as he licked his lower lip.

"I've always wanted you to do that." He whispered, leaning down to kiss my cheek, then sliding down so he could bury his face against my neck. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him to me tightly.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked quietly, running my hand up and down his back. He shifted a little, making the fire of lust creep back into my veins. His soft hair brushed against my chin, so I tilted my head to bury my nose in his hair, inhaling the deep scent of him. A mix of sunlight, honey, and male.

"Because I wasn't sure," Noe whispered against my throat, his tongue sliding across my skin, giving me goosebumps, "I had to make sure... That my suspicions were confirmed." I cocked my head at that, frowning. Noe shifted, pushing up against me and reaching behind him. He grabbed my cock, making me hiss past clenched teeth at the strength of his grip. A second later, I was completely engulfed in his heat, making me gasp sharply. I pushed Noe back, but he remained in my lap and started to move, grinding himself down on top of me, making me wince. He caught me by the shoulders and pinned me down, riding me fast and hard, sweat making his hair stick to his face.

Without noticing it, the sky had become dark and clouded. Noe's eyes glowed that heavenly aura as he looked down at me, a smirk curving his lips.

"So you're the one who's infatuated with my oracle?" He asked, his voice becoming distorted between his and a woman's voice. I blinked rapidly as I panted hard while he rode me. I went to push him off, but I looked up and realized I was no longer in my dream.

I was in my bed. In my room. Both my wrists tied tightly to the headboard of my bed with gold rope.

And Noe was still riding me, looking down at me with a wicked grin on his face, his eyes glowing brightly like stars. But the expression on his face was devious, and the woman's voice I recognized as Phoebe's. I hissed as he ground himself down on top of me particularly hard.

"God, this feels good," Phoebe moaned in Noe's voice, arching her back, "You're so thick and hot inside me, Zelios. Doesn't it feel good to fuck that little water daemon? He's so tight and fresh." I seethed, clenching my fists and jerking hard at the ropes, but they only grew tighter.

"Get... off...." I managed between gasps. Phoebe tsked and leaned down over me, looking down at me through Noe's eyes. My heart tore into pieces as rage boiled hard inside me and I bared my fangs at her, making her reel back and scowl at me before gasping as I tried to move, only to drive myself deeper inside Noe's silky depths. I groaned out, falling back against the bed. Phoebe laughed breathlessly, moving Noe's hips.

"Ah, god, this is so great," She laughed, tossing her head back, "I've always wanted to do this to you. You're such a pretty boy, you know that? And even better was finding out how much you loved this pathetic little creature. He's a mere water daemon. Totally expendable. There are thousands of others out there just like him."

"You're wrong." I seethed past clenched teeth. Phoebe snorted, bringing herself down on top of me and making me snarl.

"Ah, ah," She warned, wagging her finger in my face, "I wouldn't try to escape. This little creature's body is already in enough pain. No lubrication, no preparation. Heh, this is so beautiful. He's screaming out in pain. Do you want to hear?"

"No!" I shouted. Phoebe's laughter rang out before fading away into choked screams and agonized sobs. Noe's arms began to tremble, the light in his eyes fading as he whimpered, struggling to keep himself propped up, his hands against my stomach. Tears gushed down his face helplessly and fell to my body below. Agony wrenched at my heart as Noe looked at me in pain.

"S-Stop... Z-Zelios... P-Please... I-It h-hurts... So... Much..." He choked, breaking off into a pained sob. I gasped at the amount of pain it caused me to watch him sit on top of me, his body moving against his will on top of me, his pathetic whimpers and cries wringing my heart out. He shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut and sinking his nails into my skin, drawing blood, but it wasn't nearly as painful as he watching him cry in pain. I jerked and tore at the binding around my wrists, but to no avail. I looked back to see Noe's eyes glowing again as he straightened up and Phoebe returned to him, letting a sadistic smile curl her lip back.

"Isn't he just the cutest? He's in here screaming and crying. He doesn't want you. He doesn't want this. Heh, if anything, you're the one who's hurting him." Phoebe taunted.

"No! Stop! Shut your mouth!" I roared, arching back and trying to get away from her, but it only drove me in deeper and Phoebe gasped, throwing her head back. Noe's body trembled and shuddered, eyes screwing shut as he came. I flinched, feeling it sprinkle across my stomach. Phoebe gave a long, loud moan as she rode me until the orgasm faded. She looked down at me wickedly, reaching her finger down to dab into the body fluids. She reached out and wiped it across my lips. I cringed away as she brought her finger to her mouth and sucked it off, shivering.

"Mmm, this is just perfect," She murmured, "You thought you could get away? You thought that pathetic bitch spawn Apollo could take my oracle? I found him first. You can run back and tell your master that I said that too." I felt my blood run cold as I stared at her in horror. How did she know? How could she possibly know about Apollo?

"A little birdy told me," Phoebe teased playfully, lifting herself off me, making me seethe as I watched her crawl to the end of the bed and climb off, "He's the one who told me you adored this pathetic little daemon, that you planned to have Apollo take my oracle, and the fact that you even sold your body to the vermin just so you could save your little baby. But you're too late, Zelios. No one can take this oracle from me. He's mine. And he always will be." She turned her back to me and pain lacerated my heart like a thousand needles as I watched blood run down the inside of Noe's legs, his hips bruised. Phoebe tossed me one last glowing look before the light faded and Noe dropped to the floor.

I jerked at the rope as the gold on it faded. It tore and I scrambled off the bed, grabbing my robe and throwing it on as I ran to Noe, who lay in a trembling crumple on the floor.

"No! Noe," I gasped, touching his shoulder, "Noe, I-I... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I couldn't find any other words, so I kept repeating it over and over again as I went to touch his cheek, but he curled up even tighter. Agony cut through me and I choked in grief, reaching up to push my hair back out of my face.

"Noe, please. Noe, I'm so, so, sorry. Let me take care of your wounds, please." I pleaded. Noe just shook his head vigorously and it took me a moment to realize why he was hiding his face. His shoulders trembled as he sobbed, choking and gasping for air. I tried to find the words to apologize, but I couldn't.

After all of this, I had tried so hard to keep Noe safe. I had even sold myself to Apollo just so I could protect Noe from the very thing that just happened. No, what made it even worse was that I had been the one to do this to him. I was the reason he was bleeding and shaking. And I was only making it worse by hanging over him and apologizing.

He needed to be somewhere more comfortable, not the cold hard floor. Despite his vigorous head shakes, I reached out and gathered him into my arms. He whimpered at that and it shattered my heart into a million pieces. I managed to make it to my bathroom. I used my powers to fill the tub with warm soothing water, healing oils turning it a pale blue-green color. I very gently placed Noe inside and he cried out in pain, grabbing at my arms in refusal to get in, but I managed to get him inside. He trembled, his eyes squeezing shut tightly in pain. I grimaced, stepping back as his hands slid off me and went to cover himself in the water.

"Noe..." I couldn't find any words. There was no way I could express how awful I felt about this. I had never felt so dirty and disgusting, not even after Apollo had his way with me. Noe sat there, his knees drawn to his chest, his arms wrapped around himself as he quivered. I didn't want Noe to be alone, but I didn't want to torment him by being beside him. I started to go when Noe's hand shot out of the water and grabbed me by the wrist. I looked back at him, caught off guard by his actions.

"Please don't leave me." He pleaded tearfully. My heartstrings snapped and while part of me still wanted to leave, I couldn't bring myself to refuse that tear stained face. I slowly sank to my knees beside the tub. Noe released me and rested his head against the pillow, his breath shaking.

"Zelios, I'm... I'm so sorry." He managed after a long silence. I stared at him in disbelief. He was sorry? What could he possibly be sorry about? I started to demand it, but Noe choked on tears, reaching up to wipe quickly at his eyes.

"I didn't... I didn't mean to do that. I just wanted to come in and tell you that I was sorry for being so pushy earlier and-and then something happened and I couldn't figure out what was going on. It felt like there was a thousand things going on at once, people pushing and pulling at me every which way and when I finally managed to get through, I was..." He made a pained noise in the back of his throat.

"Noe... Noe, that wasn't your fault--"

"I don't care," Noe cried, looking at me now and sitting up in the tub, only to cringe and sink back down so he was laying against the pillow, "I was still doing it! I didn't do my job! My job was to protect you and I did the exact opposite! I just.... I didn't want that to happen!" I wasn't sure which part of that pained me the most. The fact that he thought he raped me or the fact that he wouldn't want sex to happen between us. Either way it stung.

"I can't believe I did such a terrible thing," Noe sobbed, covering his face, "I've never felt more disgusting in my whole life. Zelios, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I won't do it again. I'll kill myself before that happens--"

"Noe, stop," I gasped, horrified by his words, reaching out to pull his hand away from his face so we could stare at each other, "Don't say that. Don't... Don't blame yourself, please. It wasn't your fault and you couldn't stop it. I... I just..." I couldn't explain it. We were both feeling guilty. Noe thought he raped me, and I thought I raped him, but if anyone had done anything of the sort, it was Phoebe and my hatred for her increased tenfold. If Noe didn't need me so badly right now, I would go right down to her sell and cut her head off and feed it to Cerberus.

"Phoebe," I spat at last, making Noe flinch, "It was Phoebe, Noe. Not you. Not me. Phoebe." Noe sniffled a few times, looking very reluctant to blame the titaness before he nodded solemnly, looking into the water in agony. Neither of us spoke now. We weren't sure what to say, what to do.

So we sat there. Noe in the tub, staring into the water as if he were hoping for forgiveness and answers in there. I stared at him, wishing I could find someway to solve this, because according to Phoebe, Apollo wasn't going to help. And my filthy body throbbed in suffering over it.

Even worse, had Noe heard everything Phoebe had said when she possessed him? Did he know about Apollo? If he did, he didn't let on. He simply remained silent in his bath water.

If he did know, I wouldn't be able to look at him anymore. I doubt he'd be able to look at me anymore anyway after what had just happened.

I couldn't kill Phoebe over this. I couldn't kill Apollo.

But there was someone I could kill.

The little birdy that had opened its big mouth to Phoebe.

And when I found that little birdy, I was going to crush it.