MAHIR

I caressed the book and hugged it to my heart.

"Today our baby turned one Bani, the time just flew away. You left me in the dark,but now everything's changed",I said hugging that book tightly.

I was so anxious to read this journal,but I'm more scared to read it. I finally came to a conclusion that I have feelings for Bela.

I don't want to get disappointed or disappoint Bela.

But I'm doing wrong with Bani. I promised her that I'm her's for all the life. But it just changed.

I opened the book with trembling hands.

Mahir! You opened the book. That means Mahira turned one today. I was so confident like you that we will have a baby girl.

We got our Mahira into this world!

That's the best thing I did in all my life.

You must be confused about reading all this right? But you have to read it Mahir. Not for me, but for you and Mahira.

And someone else too. I hope you know who is that 'someone'.

Brace yourself for whatever I'm going to tell you Mahir. You might not like some of the things I mentioned in this journal,but you have to go through it.

"What the fuck? Why is she warning me like this"?I sighed feeling frustrated.

"No I don't want to read which will change my mood",I sighed breathing heavily.

I closed the book and kept it aside. I need to calm myself.

I went to the balcony, the sky is full of stars today.

Bani must be one of them. I rubbed my temples and sat on the swing. I heard some footsteps approaching me.

I lifted my head and saw Bela was sobbing.

Why is she crying?

"Bela? What happened, why are you crying? Are you not feeling well"?I asked putting my hand on her forehead.

"What happened Bela"?I asked making her sit beside me.

"I... I'm.. I'm missing Bani di", she said sobbing.

I closed my eyes to compose myself. I'm missing her too. Today especially,we both got a new life on this day.

It's killing me that she is not with me.

"Bela I know,I too miss her.I...I..I don't know what to say", telling that I started sobbing.

I can't hide this pain anymore. I need to let it out.

"Mahir",Bela hugged me and I sobbed in her embrace like a baby.

"She was my life,my love... how can she leave me",I said clutching Bela tightly.

"Life always throws challenges on us Mahir,we have to go through them",she sobbed while caressing my back.

"God always take away our loved one's,but he sends another one to full the void. You got Mahira", she said.

I can never blame Mahira for Bani's death. Having Mahira was our decision. She is my blood. I can't blame my baby for my loss.

In fact, she came like a hope in my life.

"I know, but.. but I couldn't even breath when she died. I was suffocated,I wanted to end my life",I said.

"You wanted to end your life"? she asked coming out of the hug.

"You will end your life, then what about Mahira? Have you ever thought about it"? she asked.

"That's why I'm still alive",I said.

"Life is not easy Mahir,we have to loose a lot to get something", she said.

"We have to spend our life with their memories. We can't spoil those beautiful memories by killing ourselves", she said.

"You are right",I said looking at her.

She gave me a sad smile.

"I would never let Bani to have a baby if I'd know about her complications",I said.

"I know Mahir. You would never do that",Bela said.

I composed myself and looked at her.

"Why aren't you not asleep yet"?I asked.

"I was not feeling sleepy,I came here for some fresh air and I saw you", she replied.

Now I'm feeling to read the journal. I just let out my small part of pain.

I know I can never get through this pain even after crying for my whole life.

But god has decided to send angels into my life.

"You remember our collage days Bela"?I asked.

"I can never forget them", she replied.

"You remember how we used to tease Vish and Yuvi"?I asked.

"Yeah and we still do it", she said smiling.

I was also smiling looking at her. I saw those purple marks,I mean hickeys dint fade away.

"I've hurt you right"?I said pressing my finger on that spot.

She hissed in pain.

"You can never hurt me,I just loved your marks on me and....", she stopped suddenly.

She became red again. So she loved me marking her.

I already marked her by marrying her!

Idiot!

"So it's not hurting"?I asked.

"It is, but not too much", she said.

"I'm sorry about it Bela. I missed you like fucking hell and I couldn't express in a better way",I said.

BELA

Trust me Mahir, even I couldn't.

"I..I know, no need to be sorry about it",I said blushing.

"In fact I'm sorry for jumping on you like that,I was happy that you were back and I was just excited",I blurred out.

"It's OK Bela,we...we just missed each other", he said.

"But that was the hottest kiss", he said looking at me.

God why is he exaggerating?

"Mahir... what the"?I said throwing a pillow on him.

"Hey I'm... I'm sorry. I was just kidding", he said giggling.

Now he is behaving like my best friend Mahir.

"So you still remember that I love pearls"?I asked.

"I can never forget Bela",he said.

He remembers everything about me. Then dint he see my love for him in those days.

I wanted to ask,but I don't want to be feeled rejected.

"So I was your best friend"? I asked.

"Yes you were", he said.

'Were'? Am I not one now?

"So I'm not your best friend now"?I asked feeling sad.

"Now you are my wife,my...",he stopped in between.

I'm his wife and then....

What is it Mahir?

"It's late and Mahira is alone,we need to sleep. I'm still sleep deprived", he said.

"Yeah sure,it's late. We need to sleep",I said.

We went to my room to sleep. He was looking tired,he dint have a proper sleep.

"Good night Mahir",I said settling on the bed.

"Good night Bela", he said and closed his eyes.

I slept after checking on Mahira for one last time.

I woke up early today and Mahir took off from his office for few days.

He is still in his jet lag, so he won't wake up now.

I made breakfast and was cleaning the house today. I went to clean Mahir's room, and I saw a journal lying on the bed.

What must it be?

I was about to take it but stopped in my tracks when I heard footsteps approaching me.

I turned and saw Mahir carrying Mahira in his arms.

"What.. what are you doing Bela",Mahir asked.

Why is he shuttering?

"I was cleaning the house today, so I came to clean your room",I said.

"Umm.. that's fine,I will tell Mallika to clean,Mahira woke up, give her a bath", he said.

"Hmm ya OK. You also get freshed and come for breakfast",I said and went out of the room taking Mahira with me.

Why is he behaving a bit different?

"Mumma..mum mum..",Mahira was asking.

"Yes baby, let's complete bathing and we will have mum",I said and took her to give bath.

We three were having our food and Mahir was looking off. What's wrong with him today.

"Mahir is everything fine"?I asked.

"Hmm ya it's fine. Bela I have a very important work today,I may not spend time with you two. Can you both go to dad's or Vish place"?he requested.

Something is really fishy!

"What happened suddenly Mahir?I mean...we will go.. but",I was cut by him.

"Thank you Bela. I will call you when I will get free", he said.

OK,I think he is in some work pressure. I need to give him space.

"OK Mahir. We will leave after breakfast",I said feeling little hurt.

He is acting like a bipolar suddenly.

"Mahiraaa... shall we go to Vishi"?I asked.

"Yey..Vishi...Yueee", she was reciting their names.

I was packing Mahira's stuff,I think I need to stay their till evening.

"Bye Bela, take care. Call me if you need anything",Mahir said kissing Mahira.

"Sure... you complete your work",I said taking Mahira.

"Bye daddaaa..",Mahira was telling him.

She is excited to meet Vish!

MAHIR

That was a mini heart attack to me. Thank God I reached before Bela could open the book.

I know that she was hurt when I told to go out for sometime,but I have to do it.

I need some space to think properly.I need to complete Bani's journal today no matter what.

I sat to continue the book.

Mahir,I've never loved anyone in my life as much as I loved you.I've never looked at a boy other than you.

But the day you told me that you feel for me something...I was numb. I dint knew what you were telling.

I told you that I'm not sure about it,but you told that you will wait. I realized that I really love you.

I used to blush when you were around me,I was an introvert. Coming out of my shell was not easy,but with you I can overcome many hurdles.

You were quite famous in our college,I was scared about being in a relationship with you. But I realized that you are a completely different man.

The ideal man of whom I dreamt of. I was shocked myself when I realized that I love you. That moment I felt like I was born again.

We both were committed,but we kept it as a secret. I think that's where we were wrong.

"I don't understand what's wrong in that? I can't make my life public by exposing all my relations",I said feeling frustrated.

I loved you so much Mahir. I share everything with Bela. But I dint have the guts to tell her. I was even insecure about your friendship with her for some days.

I thought maybe you loved her too! But it was only me right?

"It was only you Bani,I only loved you. But about Bela..I was so comfortable with her....we used to hang out a lot. But did I give her mixed signals"?I asked myself.

Mixed signals? Like what?

Flirting?

OK that was a healthy flirting as she was Bani's sister and I got along with her very well.

That's flirting?

I really felt that maybe you even loved Bela. The way you requested her to wear red,gifted red...everything were building insecurities inside me.

I thought to ask you about it, but it would not been appropriate to ask about you and my sister like that.

I was on cloud nine when you proposed me in front of everyone. I thought you were pulling a prank on me.

But the day you were on your knees for me,I've given myself to you. My everything.

I was so happy to build a future with you, to have a family with you. I was just not myself in that happiness.

Of course anyone dint expect us being in a relationship, they expected you and Bela.

There were many roumers about you and Bela being in a relationship. I thought to ask her but I couldn't.

I expected her to tell me,but even she did the same mistake just as I did.

Our families were happy about us being together. But my dad and your mom were not exactly looking happy.

I thought because we planned everything so fast about our marriage.

But this topic will come again,I promise!

Bela told us about her admission on our graduation day,we thought to ask her about it after sometime.

But that day our decision changed our life's forever Mahir.

We both spoke to our families about our marriage and we were ready to tie the knot. I saw Bela in a bad condition that day. I asked her about it,but she told that she was just hurt.

I thought she was just physically hurt. But she meant something else.

Since the day our marriage was fixed,I couldn't spend time with her. You dint allow me to spend time with others,other than you.

Watch out! I'm not complaining about it,but it costed a lot which we dint expect.

Even you were just into me like a love sick puppy. We were in our world. I observed that you and Bela had a fight, which was very common sight for all of us.

But you just stopped talking to her. She was your best friend. You both were inseparable as friends,I knew that.

But I dint knew you both just drew a long line between you two.I thought you both will patch up soon,at least till our wedding.

I spoke to her just before the day of our marriage. She was all excited for my marriage.

She is a great actor indeed!

My world turned completely the moment I saw her with bags to go. I was numb, like why will she go leaving my wedding.

And finally she bursted a bomb, that she is leaving to London. I was out of my words. My sister,she was like my child. She was leaving me and going.

I dint knew what would the reason be. I looked at you for a reaction.

But you also just pushed her away just as I did. I did it because I was hurt,my sister would come back to me some other day.

But why did you push her away Mahir? She was your friend,you know how stubborn she is.

Then why?

Anger? Hurt? Both together?

I know you told me that you have anger issues and you were working on it. But I dint knew that there was a permanent anger on Bela from you.

I'm not blaming you for this Mahir. I'm guilty as much as you are. We both are guilty in this together.

Even at that moment I was sure that you had feelings for her. But the moment you took my hand in yours,it felt like home.

I still remember your expression when you tied mangalsutr around my neck,marking me as yours forever.

It was a new start. I forgot everything when I was with you.All the pain,guilt and everything.

We thought that she will return some day,but days passed,weeks passed,months passed.

We could not believe the lame excuse which my dad gave us when we asked him about her.

Endless messages,countless calls and what not?

I think we were never actually happy after she left. I used to cry, you used to console me for that.

Months passed like that,but not a single clue about her.I knew that you were trying to reach her more than me.

You remember, you told me that  you should leave to NY for a business meeting?

I knew that you were off to London in search of her.

"How did she know about it? I dint inform anyone about it except Vyom",I sighed in confusion.

That day I saw a spark in your eyes for her. I was still feeling that you loved her,maybe even you dint realize it.

You were back from the trip,but I dint dare to ask you about it.

You remember? I was weeping for her one day and you came from office in a very bad mood.

"What happened Bani? Why are you crying",you asked.

"I miss her a lot,I want...to..I want to meet her",I said sobbing.

"Bani please,she is gone happily. Why are you worried about her when she is not"? you asked irritatingly.

"She is my sister Mahir, how can I let her go"?I asked feeling disappointed.

"Just as she let you go. She wanted to walk away from our life,she walked away. Now stop bothering about her", you said with anger.

"How can I not bother about her? She is  my...",you cut me off.

"Just shut the fuck up. I can't watch this drama daily. Do you remember any day after our marriage not crying for her? No. She went happily spoiling our life's like this", you spatted with anger.

"She can never spoil our life's. I was just asking a help from you to find her. I thought even you miss her just as I do. But no. I'm wrong. You just don't care",I yelled at you with anger.

I thought you will understand my pain that day. But you just pushed me away.

"Leave",was the only word you said.

I was out of words. I don't know how to react.

"I'm leaving, and I will never come back",I told you wiping my tears.

That day I dint turn back again to look at you. I went to my dad's house crying. But our servant told that he was out of town and will be back tomorrow.

At that moment I needed you Mahir,I needed my father. Both were not with me. I slept crying that day.

I woke up next day when I felt someone caressing me. It was my dad.

I just sat hugging him for hours like that and my tears were unstoppable.

"What happened Bani? Did you both fight"?he asked kissing my temple.

I couldn't talk anything. I just nodded.

He was laughing caressing my hairs.

"And what's the reason for that? Your man is an angry young man,I know about that. But he is angry even on you? What's the matter Bani"?my dad asked.

I told him about our fight,how we were searching for her. He was just listening to me without blinking.

"I just asked him for a little help and he told me to leave with anger",I sobbed hugging him.

He was just caressing me. He was not talking anything.I was waiting for his reaction.

My phone was ringing suddenly. I saw Bela calling.

"Bela? Is everything alright"?I asked.

"Mahir...Mahira is crying for you. She will catch fever if she cries like this. If you are done with your work, can you come and take us"? she asked and I could hear Mahira yelling for me.

"Of course Bela. I'm done. I will be there in ten minutes",I said and cut the call.

I want to read more. But my baby is crying now. She needs me.

"I will be back to you Bani",I said putting the journal in my closet.

I drove to Vish place to pick them.

____________
Hey guys! You know Mahir was quite shocked when he saw the votes and comments😂😂. He was taunting me that your readers are just lazy to vote.
But yaar I'm too shocked after seeing the response.

"See your reader's are just lazy to vote",he was taunting me.

"Maybe they are,but don't call them lazy. Who is not lazy in this world"?I argued.

"Really? OK then,300 votes to read Bani's complete journal😎😎",he said.

"Are you sick Mahir? Don't you think you are demanding too much😏😏"?I asked.

"They are demanding to update early every time,so it's like give and take you know😉😉"? he said.

"OK fine,but please let them read the journal,they were waiting to read it from so long"?I pleaded.

"OK, then tell them to complete the target😁😁",he shrugged.

This is the convo I have with him. He is still not ready to face you all. He is talking to you all through me. But he told that he will talk to you all after reading this whole story,along with our Bells and Mahira.

I promise😉😉.

So kindly,
Vote, comment and share.