I cannot believe my mother. I can't believe she showed you those videos. How much begging can a guy do? And you all just laughed at my pleading. I'm so embarrassed.

As you now well know, when I was in nursery school, I played a mouse in the school's spring musical. I stood on stage in mouse ears, and a tail, and those ridiculous tights. They do not look like my skinny jeans. Rude. 😒 I'm so glad you had fun laughing at my humiliation with Gemma. (Really though, I am so happy that you two get on.)

But here's the thing, that performance defined and sort of outlined my whole future. It defined me. It showed me what I wanted to do, to be for the rest of my life. I loved every second I spent on that stage, and as mortifying as it was to watch it back with you today, I would not change a moment of it.

There was a rush of excitement, a tingling deep in my bones, when I took the stage then. A buzz. An electric charge that pulsed through me. My heart pounded so loud, so fast, and I almost couldn't hear anything but its chugging beat. I was nervous, sure, but I was also thrilled. And the audience only intensified those feelings. Seeing my mum so proud, seeing a crowded roomful of people waiting for me to begin, it filled me with anxiety. But at the same time, I wanted to show off for them. I wanted to impress them. I wanted their eyes on me. And when the crowd cheered at the end, I felt overwhelmingly proud. I wanted to strut like a peacock. I made these people happy. I made them applaud. I had that power over them. It's hard to put into words. It was a unique feeling, unlike anything else I'd ever experienced. But I knew I wanted more.

I'd caught the performing bug, as mum said earlier, beaming at you--god, you're both so beautiful. I am a lucky man to have such a lovely mother and such a sweet, gorgeous girlfriend. And the two of you together, in the same room, even when you're ganging up on me, makes me happier than I can even explain.

Anyway, back to the story. From then on, anytime there was a production at school, I went out for it. And, not to brag, but I usually got it. Nothing felt as good as performing, being on stage. And all of this, the tingling, chugging, thrilling desire to wow an audience, to own the stage, to make my mum proud, is just as present when I perform now as it was then.

But there is one big difference: writing. Performing has taken on a new depth for me, finding fathoms of thought previously unfathomable. The stage isn't just a home, it's a canvas. The music isn't just art, it's catharsis.

I began writing stories and poems when I was around 10, just for my own amusement. I was almost never without a journal, scribbling random thoughts, collections of words. But it wasn't until Liam and I got serious about music that I started writing songs. Now, performing is truly an expression of who I am, of the darkest corners of my mind, the depths of my soul, the unending love I have for you.

Performing. Writing, playing music, singing. These certainly define me. This is who I am. These things make me happy.

But not a fraction as happy as you have made me.

My love for you stretches to the deepest fathoms of the sea, to the edges of the galaxy. It cannot be quantified; it is as endless as infinity. (Shameless reference to your HS tattoo.) I will love you forever, unceasingly, unconditionally. Happily.

~~~~~

Holy fucking shit. The Other One hit 50k reads. Fifty fucking thousand. How? I mean, Jesus. How?

Anyway, I appreciate all of you who read my work so much. Thank you thank you thank you!

Please vote and comment and share. It makes my day to see your names in my notifications, to know you've read and enjoyed, to hear your thoughts about the chapter.

All the love,
Annie. xx