You woke up in the early hours of dawn, still cradled in my arms. It was fascinating to watch you reach consciousness. I felt you tense in my arms, your muscles contracting before you extended your legs and arched your back, your body quivering gently against the stretch. You inhaled a yawn and blinked at me sleepily. I caressed your hair back out of your face.

"Good morning, love. Did you sleep okay?"

You nodded, then reached your hand out to touch my face, running your finger along my cheekbone. "You look like you haven't slept at all," your voice was husky.

I pressed my lips together in a tight smile, shrugging lightly, "I didn't."

You frowned. "What time do you have to be at work?"

"Ten."

"What time is it now?"

I rolled halfway away from you and grabbed my phone off the side table. "Just after five."

"Oh, love, there's still time," you shuffled out of my arms, scooting higher in the bed. "Come here," you held your arms open to me. I made sure my alarm was set for 9:30 and snuggled into your arms, my head resting on your shoulder. You ran your fingers of one hand through my hair, while the other hand stroked my arm. "Go to sleep, my love."

I was so sleepy. I wanted to cry all over again at how gentle and sweet you were being. I felt loved and cared for, and perhaps most importantly, forgiven. I drifted easily to sleep and woke a few hours later to my alarm. You reached past me to shut it off, snuggling back around me.

"I have to get up," I muttered into your neck.

"Just a few more minutes." You pet my hair and back, your fingernails lightly scratching my skin, sending me back to sleep.

I fought the dozy slumber trying to retake my mind, "Baby, I can't be late again."

"Take the car," you muttered, still trailing your fingertips along my spine. "That'll save you a few minutes."

"Okay," I mumbled, squeezing myself against you. I was so hard. Fuck. I snapped my eyes open and pulled my body away. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "Pretend that didn't happen."

"What?"

"Just now, when I...pressed into you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," you had your eyes closed but a sly smile on your face. You knew. But you were playing along, pretending it never happened.

"I love you."

Your smile widened. "I love you."

"I should get up." I leaned up and kissed your cheek, nuzzling my nose into your hair. "I'll see you later, baby." I checked the time. I had ten minutes. Driving down the hill would be much faster, and I could actually make it a smidge early. I unlocked the Rover and got in. I spent a minute adjusting the seat and mirrors, then drove down the hill to work, pulling in beside Sal's Lexus. What a difference from yesterday.

I walked into the back and pulled my work shirt on over my Rolling Stones t-shirt, and reported for duty up front. Sal smiled at me warmly and asked how I was feeling. I told him I was infinitely better than yesterday. He grinned and set me to work manning the counter. Sundays are always busy, and I was slammed for the next few hours. It was nice though. It was mindless and easy work, and being busy kept me from thinking too much.

At 2, Sal slid behind the counter to relieve me. "Go and have your lunch."

I decided just to stay on site, for fear of being late back. I paid for a bag of crisps, a banana, and a water, and went to the storage room. I decided to call mum again and update her. "Hi mummy," I said when she picked up.

"There's my cheerful boy. I take it everything is better today?"

"Yes. Well, we're not a hundred percent okay, but it's better."

"You've always been so good at moving past hard times, not letting these things drag you down. I'm proud of you. Did you explain to Maddie why you'd been so upset?"

I sighed, "no, I didn't. I just apologised, like, sincerely apologised for hurting her, and for, like, yelling." She mmm-hmmmed as I spoke. "I kind of feel like any explanation I offered would have made the apology, like, I don't know, kind of less sincere. Like, I hurt you, but this is why, so it should be okay. But there's nothing that makes my behaviour yesterday okay."

"Harry," mum was smiling, I could hear it in the way she said my name, I could picture it, and it made me so happy. "You're a good man. How did you ever get to be so wise?"

"From you, obviously, mum. Everything good in me is from you."

"Oh, sweetheart." It sounded like she was crying.

"I mean it mum. I'm the man I am because of you. If I didn't have you...I don't know...there would be nothing. I would be nothing."

"No, love."

"Yes, mum. I'd be a shell of a man. You made me who I am. You've always been there for me, you've always stood behind me. I can't even begin to thank you for everything you've done."

She sniffled, obviously crying, "Darling, all I did was love you."

"Mum, you've done so much more than that. But even if that was all you did, that was enough." I felt myself getting emotional.

"All right, enough now, Harry. Let's chat about something else before I'm full-on weeping." We shared a teary laugh. "I actually need your help with something."

"Okay. What's up?"

"Well," she sniffed again, "it's about my present for Maddie, and the idea I had..." She hesitated for so long I thought we'd gotten disconnected. "I am going to put pictures of the two of you throughout the years, at similar ages."

I grinned. "Aww, mum, that's so sweet."

"I thought so. Well, I need photos of her from when she was a little girl. I was thinking I could text you the pictures I was thinking of using, and you could maybe ask her mum for pictures to match."

"I am happy to do that, mum. Maddie will absolutely love it."

She clapped her hands together. "Oh good. Okay, I'll send you some pictures today."

"Okay, mummy. I'll call you when I get ahold of her mother."

"Perfect. I love you, baby."

"I love you, too, mum."

"Hang on, love, Robin wants to speak to you."

"Harry?"

"Hiya, Robin. How are the wedding plans coming?"

"So good. Listen. I know this is sort of last minute. I'd really like you to stand up with me at the wedding."

I hesitated. "Um. Isn't Mike coming?" (I'll tell you more about my stepbrother Mike another time).

"He is. Of course he is. But, well, he hasn't really been there for our relationship like you have. He was grown and on his own already. You've been there, and well, it would mean the world to me if you would be my best man."

"I'd be honoured. I just didn't want to step on his toes, ya know?"

"No, no, he knows I'm asking you."

"Okay. Robin, I'm so happy for you and mum. You've been a great father to me."

"Thank you, son. It means a lot, you saying that."

We disconnected, and I resumed my work. But I was distracted the whole afternoon with thoughts of Christmas and wedding presents. I needed to figure out what to get for you. I needed to figure out what to get for mum. I was fairly limited in my funds, still, and I thought maybe I'd try to write you a song. I popped into the semidetached after work to chat with Liam and Louis about it.

"Hey!" Liam was surprised to see me. "Sorry about the video, mate. It was the best idea we had."

I waved him off. "I don't care."

He crinkled his eyebrows in concern. "Are you sure? Yesterday you seemed pretty upset about it."

"Yeah," I waved my hand again. "I was upset about everything and nothing yesterday. It was just a bad day."

"You okay?" He frowned.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good now. Anyway, I stopped by because I think I want to write Maddie a song as my Christmas present."

Louis sauntered in from outside. "That's a shit present, Haz."

"What, really?" I looked at Liam hopefully.

"I mean," he rubbed the back of his neck, "kind of. You've already written her songs."

"And she knows you did. It's just not special enough," Louis flopped onto the sofa. "You've got to give her something meaningful."

"Okay, okay. I'll think about it."

"Now, your mum..." Liam said, tipping his head to the side. "You could write her a song, and that would be special."

I looked over at Louis who was nodding emphatically. "Hm. If we did that, could you transcribe the notes out onto sheet music? And then I could, like, frame the pages."

"Yes! Fucking yes. This is perfect," Louis said, sitting up. "The sooner the better though, mate. We don't have much time."

"Let's do it now?" They both nodded, so I texted you that I would be a bit late. I stared at them for a few moments, thinking about mum and when I was little, how she helped me get past my fears. How she made me bold, brave, strong. "I've got a beginning, I think." I played the words over in my mind, then sang, "I've got a fire for a heart, I'm not scared of the dark."

"Oh I love that," Liam said. He carried on with the same melody, "I've got a something for a soul. What rhymes with soul?"

"Bowl." Louis offered.

I rolled my eyes. "We're not going to write about your weed habit in a song for my mum."

He laughed, "Chill, mate. I was just saying it rhymed."

"Give me a moment; I'll get the lyrics together. You guys work on the music."

Liam grabbed his acoustic guitar and started singing what we had so far. "I've got a fire for a heart, I'm not scared of the dark, you something something some-thing something. I've got a something for a soul, a something something bowl. You know that you're my only reason."

"I like that," I waved my pen at him.

Niall came downstairs and joined us. "Whatcha working on?"

"A song for my mum. For Christmas."

"Aww that's nice, Haz. Anne'll be tickled pink." I nodded grinning. "What'd you get Maddie?"

I shrugged. "Haven't got anything yet. I dunno what to get her."

"Jewellery."

I shook my head, chewing on the end of my pen. "I can't afford to get her anything really nice. And anyway, I want it to be...special. Like sentimental."

"No, mate there's this place Lissa took me to. We made these charm bracelets for our mums for Christmas. You like make the jewellery yourself and put like whatever you want to make it personal."

I raised my eyebrows. "That sounds okay. How much was it?"

"I spent like 60 on the one for me mum." He pulled out his phone. "Let me ask Lissa where it is. I'll go with ya one day this week."

"Yes! I don't have a final for creative writing. Isn't that the class period you dropped?"

He nodded. "Yeah, let's go then." Niall held his phone for me to see. "That's the place."

"Okay, yeah. Tuesday then." He nodded, and settled back, smacking his thighs in a rhythm along with Liam's strumming. I thought about everything my mother meant to me, about the things I'd said to her just that day, how she'd helped me the day before when I felt so low, so small. I thought about the years I was so weird and different and dorky, and how mum always loved me like I was the coolest kid in town. I thought about how she really truly had made me into the man I was. I scribbled quickly, ideas pouring out of me onto the page. I joined in singing as he looped to the beginning again. "I've got a fire for a heart. I'm not scared of the dark. Never seen it look so easy. I've got a river for a soul. Mum, you are my boat. You know that you're my only reason."

"Take out mum," Louis said. "It sounds weird."

"You know that you're my boat?"

"Yeah, the rhythm is weird," Liam said. "Forget it for now. Keep going." He strummed again.

"Change it up a bit in the next part," I said. Then I sang, "If I didn't have you there would be nothing left. A shell of a man who could never be his best. If I didn't have you, I'd never see the sun. You taught me how to be someone."

"Oh my god, I love that," Louis said. "Go lower on the last line, though." I sang it again, dropping my tone at taught me how to be someone. "Yes. She's totally going to cry."

"Probably," I chuckled. "Okay, I think this will be the chorus." I cleared my throat and sang, "All my life, you stood by me when no one else was ever behind me. All these lights, they can't blind me. With your love, nobody can drag me down."

Louis echoed, "nobody, nobody."

"Yes!" Liam exclaimed. "We need more echoes. On the pre chorus, but just the second time through."

In less than an hour, we had the song totally done, with each of the lads singing part of it, and nice harmonies on the chorus. "Maybe we can record it this week?"

"I'll get us an hour of studio time," Louis nodded.

"Okay, I've got to go. I've got Maddie's car, and I'm more than an hour late getting home." I hurried home to you. "Hey, baby," I greeted you in the kitchen, where you were lifting a huge, gooey piece of pizza onto a plate.

"I ordered pizza. I hope that's okay."

"It's perfect. I'm starving." I kissed you, then stole a bite of your pizza.

"Didn't you eat today?"

I shook my head, kicking off my shoes and grabbing a plate. "Not really. Sal's was so busy I didn't have much of a break." I piled several slices of pizza onto my plate and grabbed your hand, dragging you into the living room. You chuckled and reached back to close the pizza boxes. We sat on the sofa and ate, the tv running in the background. "I missed you today."

"I missed you, too." You covered your mouth and spoke with a mouthful of food, "how come you didn't come home for lunch?"

"I've been late every time I have, and Sal kinda chewed me out for it yesterday."

"Shit. I'm sorry," you frowned.

"It's okay. He's right. He pays me to be there. It's disrespectful of me not to be there on time. It means someone else has to do my work. Or the work is delayed. Deliveries are delayed."

You nodded, swallowing down your pizza. "I get you. He shouldn't yell at you though."

"You're right," I looked pointedly at you, reaching a hand out to touch your arm, "there is no excuse to yell at someone." You smiled sadly. "I'm so sorry I was so out of control yesterday, Maddie. There's no excuse for my bad behaviour. I'm just so filled with regret."

You shook your head. "It wasn't okay, but you don't need to keep apologising. It happened. It's done. Just don't do it again, ya know?"

I nodded. "I won't. I promise I will never raise my voice at you like that again."

You nudged my leg with your knee. "Eat!"

"Okay, okay." The rest of the evening was peaceful and pleasant, both of us revising for our finals before turning in for the night.

My final on Monday was a breeze, thankfully, and we had the whole evening after together to relax and have fun. We watched a movie you needed to review for your film final later in the week, we ate the pizza leftovers, and we cuddled cozily and comfortably in the bed. But the whole time, I was plotting. I needed to figure out how to get your mum's phone number without you knowing, so I could get the photos for my mum. I struck gold when you paused the movie and asked me to look up the director of photography while you used the loo.

"My phone's dead," I fibbed.

You handed me yours. "The code is oh-two-oh-one."

"That code is way too simple, Maddie. People could crack it in no time." You stared at me from the door with your hands on your hips, shaking your head and laughing. "What?" You closed the door behind you without answering me. I typed in the code. 0-2-0-1. Ohhhhh. I blushed. My birthday, American style. God you're cute. I hurried to find your mum's contact in your phone and snapped a picture of it with mine, then went into IMDb to find the movie, just as you returned to me. "Baby, what's significant about January 2nd?" I feigned ignorance. Apparently I failed. Probably it was the smile tugging at my lips.

You rolled your eyes. "Shut up."

"You're cute."

You shoved my shoulder and reached for the phone. "Give me my phone so I can change it."

"Noooo," I scowled, holding your phone above my head. "Don't. I'm sorry I teased you. Please don't change it." You softened your expression, but held your hand out. I put the phone in your hand.

You kissed me quickly. "Okay, who's the dp?"

"Shit. I forgot."

You laughed and unlocked your phone, which was still open to IMDb. You read the details of the film for a few minutes, then we finished watching it. When you went to take your shower, I slipped down the hall and out to the garage.

I dialled your mum's number, my hands shaking as I did.

"Hello?" She sounded confused.

"Hi, Meredith, it's--"

"Is Maddie all right? What happened?"

"Yeah, she's okay, she's fine."

"What's going on? Is she hurt?"

"Meredith, she's fine," I insisted. "I didn't mean to worry you."

"Okay," she breathed. "Okay. So...why are you calling me?"

"Um. Well, I need your help, actually."

"Okay..." She sounded nervous, tense, wary.

"So, Maddie is coming home with me for Christmas." She gasped. I guess you hadn't told her that. Oops. "And um, my mum wants to make a present for her using pictures of us as kids." She grunted. "So, I was hoping that we could meet and you could maybe give me a handful of photos."

"Oh." She was quiet for several moments. "Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You really had me worried, Harry," she sighed.

"I'm so sorry about that," I chewed my lip. "I've got to hurry before she catches me talking to you. Um, can I send you the pictures of me that my mom wants to use, and then you can bring me some of Maddie later this week?"

"Yes, that's fine. I'll see you later this week."

"Thank you Meredith. I really appreciate it." I hurried back to the bedroom and managed to slide into bed and connect my phone to the charger before you came in. "Hey, love. How was your shower?"

"Wet." You ruffled your hair with the towel, sarcasm dripping from every inch of you.

I wanted to make a snappy comeback about how it probably wasn't as wet as it would have been if I could have joined you, but I held it in. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, especially as the last two days had been so good. Almost like Saturday never happened. Except that I couldn't join you in the shower, and I felt I couldn't joke about it. But other than that, we were back to normal, I thought.

The next day, you went off to school for a final, and I walked down to the semidetached. Niall's girl Elissa (Sam's friend) was there with him, and she drove us over to the shop, Mon Petit Bijou (My Little Jewel). I wandered around and looked at all the choices and samples before selecting a seven-strand bracelet frame in white gold. There were seven loops on the side of the four posts for the wires or chains to connect. Then I picked out seven marquis-shaped white gold plates and had them engrave HAPPILY and STRONG on each. I selected gold and silver chains to mix in between the beaded strands. The clerk took me to the beading station, and I chose purple, blue, green, and dark grey beads. I did four strands just of the dark grey, then mixed the other colours randomly on three more strands. I ran the wires through the frame, and connected everything in place with the silver and gold chains running delicately between the beaded rows. The engraved plates were spread around, so there was always one visible. It was a mix of colour and metal, that dark grey dominating, with the words HAPPILY and STRONG scattered throughout. I was pleased with the final product and held it up for Niall and Elissa.

"Oh my god, it's so pretty!" Elissa squealed. "She'll love it."

"Yeah? You think?"

"Yes. I don't even know her, and I'm sure she will."

"Definitely, mate. It's beautiful."

"Okay," I grinned. "Hey, do you think there's something here I can get my mum and Robin for their wedding?"

The clerk, who had been hovering nearby, suggested, "we've got frames and photo albums that can be engraved."

I followed her and found a beautiful sterling silver frame with hearts and flowers. I already had some notes for my best man speech. I grabbed a paper and scratched out "True love makes everything brighter." I held up the card for the others to see.

"We can add some bling around the words if you'd like?" The clerk said. She took the card and drew lines coming out from around the word brighter. She pointed at a few spots around the word, "Here, here, here, and maybe here. To make the word brighter stand out."

I nodded. "That sounds pretty. How long would it take you?"

"We can have it ready in about an hour."

"Okay." I poked around a bit more and chose a double-wide frame for the sheet music, with the inscription: For you, mum. All the love, H. Then I found some leather and steel key chains and wrote out phrases for those, for my dad and Robin. "I still need something for Gem, but I wasn't planning to go sentimental."

"Sarcastic?" Niall laughed.

"Exactly."

Elissa rubbed her hands together, "I know the perfect place. They have this like magic 8 ball that gives you snotty sarcastic answers instead of serious ones."

"Oh my gosh. That sounds perfect," I laughed.

"My friend Sam showed me the place. Oh wait. You know Sam, don't you?" I nodded. "Let's go now and we can come back and pick up your other stuff."

We drove a few minutes away to a shop called Gifts, I Guess. It reminded me so much of you. I mean, I guess. There were so many hilarious items in that store. I ended up buying the sarcastic 8 ball and a book called The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm.

"Thank you so much for your help today, Elissa," I said once we'd collected all my purchases from Mon Petit Bijou.

She glanced over her shoulder at me, grinning, "no problem. I'm happy to help. Any friend of Sam's is a friend of mine. Not to mention this guy." She took Niall's hand.

"Aww, you guys are adorable." Elissa giggled, this really sweet laugh. I directed her up to your house. I got out of the car, packages in tow, and thanked her again. Once I was inside, I called your mum, as I knew you wouldn't be home for an hour yet.

"Hey, Meredith."

"Hi, Harry. These pictures of you are just so great."

I laughed. "Awww. Thanks." I felt myself blushing. The picture of me wearing my mom's bra...ugh. Why? Why does my mother insist on embarrassing me?? "Did you have a chance to pick some photos of Maddie?"

"Well, I had a hard time narrowing it down. I've got about a dozen for you. When and where can I drop them off?"

"How about tomorrow night? I work at Sal's deli on Weyburn, near the university."

"Okay. What time should I come by?"

"I work 5 to 8 tomorrow." Normally my shift would be until 11, but we were leaving the next night, so Sal let me cut the shift short.

She agreed and said she'd be there earlier rather than later. I went into the office and wrapped my presents. You got home around 3 pm, just as I was loading them into my carry on bag.

"Hi," you kissed my cheek.

"Hey baby." I pulled you to me and held you for several moments before we headed out to the tv room to study.

Now here's an interesting moment. In your journal, you wrote, Kiss. Touch. Love. And the knots come untied. Meaning that you'd maybe totally forgiven me before we flew off to England. But the only touching I remember from that week was...weird. Or at least I thought you thought I was weird.

So we were sitting on the sofa in the living room, studying for our Wednesday finals. I was sitting up, like a normal person sits on a couch, and you were reclined over the rest of it like the goddess you are. With your feet in my lap. I kept poking them with my pen, or squeezing one toe or another, or running my nail along the arch to make you giggle.

"How come you don't paint your toenails?" I asked, cupping both feet in my hands and bopping the tips of your toes with my fingers.

You wiggled them. God you're so fucking adorable. "I don't know. I don't really like my feet, and I never wear open-toed shoes, so I guess I just don't bother."

"How can you not like your feet?" I gawked at you. "They're so dainty and cute!"

"My feet are huge!"

"No, they aren't. They're lovely." I leaned down and kissed the tips of your toes. "Can I paint them for you?" I blurted. Shit. I wished there was a way to delete spoken words.

You laughed so hard, squinting your eyes closed. "You want to paint my toenails?" you asked, disbelieving. I nodded without looking up at you, bashful now, and kissed them again. "Okay," you shrugged. I felt the shrug rather than saw it.

"What colour?" Still, I looked only at your feet and not your eyes.

"I don't care," you laughed. "I have pretty much every colour there is." You got up and I followed you to your bathroom. You opened a cabinet attached to the wall, and there, like some magical treasure, was a glorious rainbow of nail lacquers, arranged by colour. You laughed at me, and I blushed again.

"I used to paint Gemma's nails all the time." I felt the need to explain myself.

You nodded with this weird smile. "Okay."

"What? You think I'm weird don't you?" Shit. This is too weird. She's going to realise how weird I am.

"No," you laughed, running your hand into my hair. "I think you're cute."

I chanced a glance at you. "Yeah?" I hoped you couldn't hear my insecurity in my wobbling voice. You nodded and kissed me again. "What's your favourite colour?"

You shrugged, "Grey."

"Really?" My voice was too high, like a damned adolescent. I thought about it for a beat; every room in your house was white and black and grey. "You don't like colours?"

"I don't know. I do," you seemed to be struggling to explain. You looked me in the eye. "I like the colour of your eyes." I blinked slowly, grinning. "I can't really explain why I like grey. I just do. It's--"

"You don't have to explain," I laughed a little. "It's not like you have to justify your favourite colour to me."

"No, I know. I just thought maybe you thought I was weird or something. I mean I know I'm not normal--"

I laughed harder. "You're amazing."

"I think I like grey because it reminds me of rain." You shrugged again. "And a balance between things. A balance between light and dark."

I regarded you, reached my hand out to brush a wisp of hair back from your face. "That's beautiful." You smiled, this soft smile, soft like the edges of a cloud. "You're beautiful."

You bit your lip, and looked at the colours in the cabinet. "Why don't you pick your favourite colour."

"Impossible."

"Why?"

"I like all the colours equally."

You shook your head, laughing again. "No one likes all colours equally."

"I do. From the time I was little, I couldn't pick a favourite. I worried I'd hurt the other colours' feelings if I chose just one."

You rolled your eyes, but you gazed at me with adoration. "Colours can't feel."

"Sssshhhhhh. They'll hear you!" I whispered. I folded my arm around your waist and pulled you closer to me, leaning down to kiss you. I froze just before our lips met. "I'm sorry. Is this okay?" I totally forgot about you not wanting me to touch you. Like, I wasn't sure where that boundary really was.

"Yes," your tone was soft and warm, a summer raincloud. "It's more than okay."

I kissed you, just the gentlest pressing of my lips against yours. "I love you, Maddie."

You blushed, smiled, looked down and back up, "I love you too, Harry." I rested my forehead against yours, just barely brushing my lips against yours again. "Thank you for being so patient with me."

"Baby, I will always do whatever you want, whatever you need. I just want to make you happy, to make you feel safe and loved."

"You do," you smiled again, touching my cheek with your fingertips. "Soooo, about my toes..."

I grinned, caught your hand with mine and kissed your fingertips. "Yes. Let me see what colour speaks to me." I examined the multitude of colours lining the shelves. I picked up a few, examining them. Finally, I turned to you with excitement bubbling up. "Can I do a rainbow?"

You laughed. "Sure, if you want."

"You have every colour in, like, shiny metallic. I want to do a metallic rainbow." I chose a dark red, a gold, an olive green, a deep blue, and a hazy purple, all glittery and metallic. "I'm thinking a different colour on each toe."

"Okay," you shrugged, looking down at your feet, wiggling your toes. "Do purple on my big toes."

"Purple on one big toe, red on the other."

"Whatever," you laughed again. "Whatever you want."

"Mmmm. We're back to whatever Harry wants." I wiggled my eyebrows at you. "Sit!" I commanded. You sat on the little stool where you'd tended my wounds after the fight with Jonas. I got down on my knees in front of you and took one foot in my hands. I rubbed it gently. "Hmm. Let me grab the lotion."

"There's actually foot cream in the bottom drawer there," you pointed.

I dug through the drawer filled with bottles and tubs until you said that was it. I settled back and squeezed a bit of cream onto my palm, then I massaged the sole of your foot. You made the same intense moaning sounds you had when I'd rubbed your back. My cock twitched and sprang to life, but I chastised my friend mentally, telling him to go back into hibernation. I moved my hands from your toes to your heels, then up around your ankles, massaging gently. When I was done, I raised each foot and kissed the tips of your toes. You leaned back on your palms, watching me. I used my thumb nail to push your cuticles back a little bit then painted your nails. I ended up doing purple on both big toes, reverse rainbows arching out from the middle. When I was done, you wiggled your toes again.

"Can I do your fingernails too?"

You giggled. "If you want." While you removed the peeling dark red polish, I went back to scan the colours. I wanted to pick colours that would match the bracelet I'd made. I grabbed these two prismatic bottles--one was a blend of green and blue, and the other was blue and purple. "I usually put black beneath those," you tapped the blended colours, "because they're really thin."

I grabbed black, too and set to work. I painted all your nails black. Once they were dry, I painted your nails the blended colours, alternating fingers between green and purple. Your nails now matched your bracelet. I couldn't wait to see it on your wrist.

"All done," I said proudly.

"They look great. You're pretty good at this," you giggled again.

"I swear, I used to do Gem's nails. It's not like, weird." You bit the inside of your lip and grinned up at me. "What's up baby?"

"Nothin," you hopped off the counter and into my arms, swaying back and forth. I gave you a disbelieving look. "Nothing!" You hid your face against my chest. "I just..." You mumbled into my shirt, and I couldn't understand what you'd said. You looked up at me.

"I have no idea what you just said, but God, you're pretty."

You laughed and stretched up to kiss me. I tightened my hold on your waist. You slipped your tongue into my mouth. Oh. I kissed you back tentatively. You deepened the kiss. "I'm so in love with you," you said quietly.

I can't explain the thoughts that raced through my mind. I can't explain the feelings that pulsed through my body. I simply smiled, and replied, "I'm so in love with you, Maddie." We snuggled up in bed and went to sleep, happily in love.

The next day, the lads and I recorded Drag Me Down, and the next night, your mum came into the deli. "Hello," she smiled awkwardly. "Can we chat for a minute?"

"Yeah. Let me just get someone to come out." I went in the back and got Jon to cover the counter. We stepped out into the parking lot, and she led me to her car. "I've got the pictures here," she held up an envelope. I flipped through the pictures, smiling to myself. Then she handed me a small black box with a shimmering white bow. "And, um, this is for Maddie. From me. I...could you, would you please give it to her on Christmas morning?"

"Of course I will."

She looked away. "We haven't...spent the holidays together in a long time. I thought maybe this year...since we had Thanksgiving, I don't know. I thought maybe I'd see her for Christmas this year."

I bit my lip, fidgeting nervously. "I'm sorry, Meredith."

"It's okay," she waved her hand. "Maybe next year. So, um, give her that and have a safe trip home."

I nodded. "Thank you. I hope you have a good holiday." She hugged me, and I patted her back. She kissed my cheek, got in her car, and drove off.

On my way home, I collected the sheet music from Liam. I slid the sheets into the wide frame and wrapped it. Then we both finished packing all our stuff. It felt surreal to be going home. I spent last Christmas with Fern in France, skiing (again, another story for another chapter). It had been over a year since I'd been home to Holmes Chapel.

Thursday night, we went down to the airport, and we were immediately hounded by camera crews. I put my arm around you and tried to shield you from it all, but you paused in the middle of the crowd of people, all pushing and jostling, and took one giant selfie with a fan's phone. Then we went to the first class lounge, escaping the insanity of the crowd.

"Oh my god. It's crazy out there." I panted. You yawned dramatically. I told you that you could sleep on the plane. "Unless you want to, you know, mile high, and all that." You hit me! "Violence is never the answer."

"Depends on the fucking question." I started to wonder if I should have gotten you one of those sarcastic gifts. You always had some snappy comeback, and I just couldn't keep up.

Finally, we got on the flight to London, then to Manchester, and there in the low winter light of England was my mother. I let my bag slide to the floor and hugged her for so long. "Hi, my sweet darling boy," she muttered into my hair.

Maddie, wherever you are is my home. But it felt so good to be back there, in my mother's arms. My first home. And as I hugged her, and gazed at you, I felt so very happy, so complete. All I need in the world is you by my side, my mother's love, and music. I have all of these. I have everything I have ever dreamed of and more. I'm so incredibly lucky. Thank you. Thank you for being mine. For everything you are and everything you do for me. I love you more than you can ever fully know; I lack the words to tell you adequately. All I know at the end of the day is that wherever you are is the place I belong.

~~~~~
I'm not sure when my next update  of this book will be. I'm going to try and update Ultra Violet this weekend.

Oh hey, I can't remember if I mentioned this!!! My one shot for the Best1DFic competition won!! The theme was summer and I wrote a lil Larry love story called Boys of Summer featuring art by hazstylestrash. Check it out on their page and on mine. 💖⚾️