T R A V I S

I'm not sure what time it is but I feel like someone is holding my hand.

Masyadong magaan yung kamay niya at pagkamulat ng mata ko, natuwa akong makita na si Mavis pala yung gumigising sa akin na naka-pink pajamas.

"Papa..." her voice is uncertain as if she's not sure if she'll wake me or not. Hinawakan niya ulit ang kamay ko at nagulat siyang hinuli ko iyon at akmang yayakapin siya papunta sa kama. "You're awake!" she squeals with glee.

"I'll be if you give me a kiss, dali." paglalambing ko sa kanya at nakita ko naman kung paano niya ako ngitian. "Ah, walang kiss, sige matutulog na lang ako." Pagtatampo ko kuno at sumampa siya sa kama. Muli niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko at dinampian ako ng matamis na halik sa pisngi.

She smells so heavenly, I wonder if that's her powder or cologne, I embraced her and heard her giggling in my arms. Kiniliti ko siya para mas umalingawngaw ang tawa niya na nagpapasaya sa puso ko. Tinigil ko rin naman ang pagkiliti sa kanya at niyakap siyang muli.

"Come on Papa, I help Mama cook us breakfast." pangungulit niya at pinabayaan kong dalhin niya ako sa may hapag, pero nakita kong nagmamadali si Maxene.

"Buti gising ka na, ikaw na muna ang bahala kay Mavis, ha?" Inaasahan kong bibigyan niya rin ako ng good morning kiss, pero dinaanan niya lang ako. Mukhang madaling madali siya.

"What's the rush?" I asked, keeping my cool as I take my seat.

"Ngayon parating yung client ko, nagbago ng schedule, kaya kailangan kong umalis agad." Panay lakad-takbo siya mula sa hapag, sa kusina, sa kwarto, hindi ko na alam kung saan pa siya nag-lululusot. "Pinaghanda ko na rin kayo ng breakfast." she said as she stood beside me drinking her coffee. I attempted to grab her waist for me to at least hug her, but she hurriedly turned her back from me and kissed Mavis.

Buti pa yung bata, may good morning kiss.

"You stay here, okay, watch cartoons, babalik din ako agad."

"Pwede ka naman sa akin magbilin, I'm right here." I waved my hand and for a moment she looked disoriented.

"Ay oo nga." muli niya akong nilapitan, at tumayo ako sa harapan niya.

"Snacks, nasa pantry. Yung lunch, i-microwave mo na lang, may label naman lahat iyon," sa sobrang bilis niyang magsalita, hindi ko namalayan na nakangiti na ako sa harapan niya. "Makinig ka," she snaps her fingers at me, "Yung meryenda, since nandito ka naman, pancakes lang. Add water lang iyon tapos lutuin mo sa pan, kung hindi ka confident magluto, mag-order na lang kayo ng fast food. Pero huwag mong pakakainin ng sobra si Mavis..."

Ang ganda niyang pagmasdan ngayong mommy mode siya sa harapan ko ngayon.

"Kung mag-crave man siya ng ice cream, may ice cream sa fridge. Pero one pint lang ang ibigay mo sa kanya, bawal ang sobra. Mamaya mag-sugar rush 'yan." I badly wanted to kiss that mouth that talks too much. "Patulugin mo siya hapon, hindi pwedeng hindi, maliwanag ba?"

"Crystal." I say with a smile keeping my cool. I expect to receive a kiss from her for being a good listener, but she turned her back quickly away from me and gave her daughter another kiss.

Aba, ako naman hoy!

Napakamot na lang ako sa ulo at narinig ko na may bumusina mula sa labas ng gate.

"Alis na ako." Paalam niya sa amin.

"Bye, bye Mama." Nakangiting sambit sa kanya ng bata at lumabas na ng bahay.

Dinungaw ko siya mula sa bintana at nakita kong sumakay siya sa sasakyan ni Francis at umalis na rin agad.

Tingnan mo ito, may kotse naman siya, bakit ba nagpasundo pa siya kay Francis, pwede ko naman siya ipagmaneho. Tsk!

Pagkatapos kami ni Mavis kumain ng breakfast, agad siyang nagpadulas sa kanyang upuan at kinuha ang mga plato mula sa hapag. Halata sa kanya na nabibigatan siya kaya inalalayan ko na rin siya.

"I'll do this, just go and watch TV."

"I can clean the plates, Papa." she says with a wide smile, "Daddy taught me." She's talking about Kenzo with inspiration in her eyes as she puts on her little apron, para daw hindi mabasa ang damit niya.

Tinulungan ko pa rin siya at kita naman sa kanya na alam niya ang ginagawa niya.

Matapos niya ilagay ang mga plato sa dish dryer, pinunasan niya ng tuyong tela ang lamesa at naglagay pa ng cleaner spray.

Nakita ko pa kung paano kumunot ang noo niya dahil may hindi ata maalis na dumi. Pinunasan niya ulit iyon at nawala na rin ang dumi sa lamesa.

Pumunta siya sa isang cork board at doon nakalagay ang chore sheet na tinatatakan niya ng stamps, para daw kapag dumating si Kenzo, may reward siyang makukuha mula sa Daddy niya.

Nakakatuwa at marunong siyang tumulong sa gawaing bahay. Pero may kirot sa parte ng puso ko na puno ng nanghihinayang na makitang hindi ako ang kinalakihan niyang ama.

Ito rin ba ang nararamdaman ni Tatay noong mga panahon na iyon?

Niyaya ako ni Mavis na ako manood ng TV dahil ipapalabas na daw ang inaabangan niyang si Spongebob.

Natutuwa akong pakinggan siya habang nakikisabay sa opening nung show. Mas aliw na aliw akong pagmasdan siya kaysa sa subaybayan ko yung palabas sa TV.

Pagkatapos ng show, pinaliguan ko na rin siya agad. Sabay na rin kaming nag-lunch at pagkatapos noon ay nag-siesta siya sa hapon para daw lumaki siya agad.

No, I can't allow time to fast forward just like that. Let me enjoy this memories when you're little Mavis.

Huwag ka muna sana lumaki.

Tinabihan ko siya sa kama at hinding-hindi ako magsasawang pagmasdan siya.

She's still wearing my necklace that she's holding like a priceless treasure.

I planted a kiss on her temple before leaving the bed and noticed a familiar piece of jewelry lying on the ground.

I can't believe that she still has this, all these years. I smiled as the silence in the environment was distracted by a doorbell.

I went outside and opened the gate, I didn't expect to see him looking back at me in disbelief, "Kenzo."

Nabitawan niya ang bagahe niya at agad niya akong kinuwelyuhan. Malakas na sinalubong ng kamao niya ang mukha ko at sa isang iglap lang, nagawa niya akong patumbahin.

Alam kong matagal na niyang gustong gawin ito sa akin kaya pagbibigyan ko siya. Malakas din pala siyang sumuntok.

I chuckled as he looks down on me, "I deserve that." I say and see him welcome himself towards the main door without looking back at me. Tinayo ko ang sarili ko at sinarado ang gate, habang pinupunasan ng panyo ang labi ko.

Pagkapasok ko, kakalabas lang din ni Mavis mula sa kwarto niya. Nang makita niya si Kenzo agad siyang tumakbo papunta sa kanya at binigyan siya ng mahigpit na yakap, "Daddy!" she couldn't contain her glee giving him a bright smile, "You're back!"

"Namiss kasi kita agad eh." Nakangiting sambit ni Kenzo sa bata.

"What happened to your face, Papa?" tanong sa akin ni Mavis. Agad akong umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya. She shouldn't have seen me like that.

"Ah, nadapa kasi yung Papa mo kanina, ayan tuloy may sugat siya ngayon sa mukha." kasual na sagot ni Kenzo habang matalim akong tinitingnan, "If only he'd look before he leap, he wouldn't get himself hurt, hindi ba Mavy?"

The little girl giggled, "Papa is so clumsy."

"He is." Kenzo mocked me with a playful smile.

Well played. I shake my head with a grin. Fine, I'll give this to him.

Hinila siya ni Mavis kung saan naka-post yung chore sheet niya, "Look Daddy, I did everything here!"

I leaned at the wall crossing my arms as I observed them together.

"Wooow, madami dami na ring stamps." he smiles and gives her a kiss, "I'm so proud of you Mavy." he pinches her cheeks, "At dahil diyan, may reward ka sa akin." The little girl giggled, clapping her hands as she patiently waited for Kenzo's surprise, "Tada!"

"Ahhh! It's the long neck sheep!" the little girl squeals with delight as she hugs the stuffed toy, "Thank you Daddy, thank you!"

"That's an alpaca." Kenzo corrected her, "Al-pa-ca."

"Al-pa-ca." The little girl nodded looking at him as if she's verifying if she got it right and Kenzo put up a smile for her.

Pinanood namin mula sa counter yung batang naglalaro, kaharap ng TV kung saan nakasalang ang National Geographic Channel na tungkol sa farm animals. Doon ni Mavis nakikita yung alpaca na kinagigiliwan niya.

"Pinalampas ko na iniwan mo si Maxie," he uttered enough for me to hear as he looks at the little girl while having a drink with me, "Pero kapag si Mavy ang sinaktan mo, hindi lang suntok ang ibibigay ko sa iyo." Seryoso niya akong tiningnan, "Dare to break her heart and you will never see her again."

I smirked, "Baka nakakalimutan mo kung sino ang kaharap mo, Mihara." I commented playfully.

"Kahit anak ka pa ng presidente o kahit gaano ka pa kayaman, wala akong pakialam. Sinasabi ko sa iyo, kapag si Mavy ang sinaktan mo; magtutuos tayo, kaya umayos ka." his words gave me a grave ultimatum that I acknowledge.

"Thank you." I say enough for him to hear, "Thank you for being there for them," I look back at Mavis, "And for her..."

We toasted and drank our brandy in silence.

"What are you drinking?" Asked by the curious little girl holding her alpaca stuffed toy.

"Juice." pagsisinungaling namin ni Kenzo.

"Can I have one too?" She tilted her head beside as her eyes beam. "Please..."

"No, it's for adults." Kenzo explained as the little girl gazed at me pouting. Para siyang naghahanap ng kakampi. Tinawanan ko siya sa utak ko dahil pareho sila ng Mama niya.

"No is no, Mavis." I tell her.

"So unfair." she puffed her cheeks, "Why can't I drink on that glass?" Ah, so she's just referring to the glass? "Only Mama, Daddy and Papa are allowed, I just want to drink on that glass."

Nagkatinginan kami ni Kenzo, "Bakit mo naman gusto uminom sa ganitong baso, may normal na baso naman na pwede mo gamitin?" Tanong ni Kenzo sa kanya.

She smiles widely, "It looks fancy. Plus I saw on TV that some kids drink on that glass."

Kenzo sighs, shaking his head and looking at my direction as if he's giving this decision to me.

Tamang tama at may apple cider juice naman sa ref. Iyon ang nilagay namin sa baso ni Mavis, para maniwala yung bata na juice nga ang iniinom namin.

We clinked our glasses together and see Kenzo with a smirk as he shakes his head.

Upon drinking the juice on her glass the little girl make a funny face, "Eeeek, so sour!"

Pinipigilan namin ni Kenzo na tawanan siya, "I'm not going to drink this juice ever again. Bleh!"

"Commercial is over." paalala sa kanya ni Kenzo at nang lingunin niya yung TV, agad ding bumalik sa living room ang bata kasama ng stuff toy niya at umupo sa sofa.

"Ang talino mo sa apple cider ah." puna ni Kenzo sa akin.

"Magkakulay naman sila technically." I smirked, "Hinding hindi ko paiinumin ng alak yan. Mamaya magaya 'yan sa mama niya kapag nalasing."

Naalala ko bigla yung hitsura ni Maxene noon niya kapag nalalasing. Kahit pa tumanda itong si Mavis, hinding hindi ko siya papayagang uminom ng alak. 

I see him agreeing with me, "Mahina talaga uminom si Maxie!" He shakes his head as I laugh with him. "Kaya nga kapag iinom siya, dapat kasama niya yung mga taong katiwatiwala talaga."

"That I agree." I can see how both of us were protective of her.

I respect our similaties and differences. He's indeed a worthy rival. However, it'll be great to have him as a friend.

"What?" he probably noticed me observing him.

I chucked, wondering if he could help me with something I know I can't do alone, "I have a small favor, if it's okay with you."

M A X E N E

"Nice presentation, Young Miss," binati ako ni Mr. Hayes na hindi ko inakala na nagmamay ari ng ipapa-restore niyang building na isa sa project ko.

"Hindi ko naman po inakala na kayo po ang magiging client ko ngayon," nakangiti kong tugon sa kanya at nakipagkamay.

"Well, I'd like to keep things as private as possible, kaya may iba akong inutusan para kausapin ang firm ninyo on my behalf," he shrugs non committedly, "I guess, I just want to see the presentation for myself today after a good deal. Business as always."

Sa totoo lang, kung hindi ko nalaman kung sino siya talaga, baka maniwala pa ako sa sinasabi niya sa harapan ko ngayon. Pero pagkatapos ko siyang makilala noon, hindi naman imposible na binabantayan o pinapabantayan niya ako mula sa malayo. Lalo na at nalaman ko rin noon na siya ang sumagot sa panggastos ko sa ospital noong nanganak ako kay Mavis.

"I know that you've been looking out for me and my family Mr. Hayes." I say as he observes my reaction.

"Nagkataon lang na may mutual connections tayo sa negosyo." He says as if he wants me to believe this excuse. Yet I know I can't ignore the signs after everything I learned from Natasha.

It's true that I'm still keeping in touch with her, especially when she told me that she's not working under Joseph Hayes anymore after her last assignment, which is the case of Franco Valentine. Pero hindi ibig sabihin noon, hindi na siya protektado ng boss niya.

Natasha once told me that Joseph Hayes's has a huge network of people who trusts him and treats him as family. He's grounded, fair and takes care of the people from the shadows because there are some people like Senator Valentine who sees it as a competition that will do everything just to eliminate the possible threat in their way.

Kaya mas pinili ni Joseph Hayes ang maging private lang. Simple lang siyang tao, pero sa likod ng maamo niyang mukha, hindi talaga aakalain na ipinagkatiwala sa kanya ng father-in-law niya ang posisyon ni Trudi Romanov sa mundo ng mga mafia.

"I still want to thank you, for everything." I smiled at him just to be polite. Malaki rin naman ang naging utang na loob ng pamilya ko sa kanya.

He sighed and smiled, "Anak mo ang apo ko, kaya pamilya kita, Maxene."

Thus my assumptions were right.

"Speaking, gusto ko siyang makita, kung pwede lang," from formal tone, his voice shifted as a proud grandfather, "Alam ko kasi binabalak akong unahan ni Terrence na makita ang apo ko. Ayokong siya ang maunang tawaging Lolo ni Mavis."

I didn't expect that he is this competitive towards Travis's biological father. That's just adorable.

Mukhang madadagdagan ang mga doting grandfathers ni Mavis. Kay Dad pa nga lang, medyo spoiled na siya.

"I'll make time for it, para po makita ninyo si Mavis." I say him with certainty and see how his eyes shines like a child. He is really looking forward seeing Mavis.

"Magtatampo ako sayo kapag hindi ka tumupad sa usapan." Sumakay na siya sa kotse niya, pero binaba niya rin yung bintana para magbilin sa akin, "Don't tell him that I am here. Okay?"

Is he talking about-- "Bakit naman po?"

"Gusto ko lang subaybayan kung ano ang susunod na gagawin ng anak kong matigas ang ulo," he says as if he's betting onto something. He sighs, "Ayaw man niya tanggapin, pero, parehas na parehas sila ni Terrence." he chuckled shaking his head, "Pati kapatid niya, dinamay niya sa kalokohan niya." dagdag niya pa at hinilot hilot ang sentido niya.

"Maybe he's just doing what he thinks is best." I don't know why I defended him in front of his father.

"It doesn't mean that it is for the best, it is right," he says playfully, "And it doesn't mean that it is right, it is for the best." he chuckled looking back at me, "You take care Young Miss. See you, when I see you." sinarado na niya ang bintana at umalis na rin ang kanyang sasakyan.

Pinabayaan ko na lang na ihatid ako ni Francis pabalik sa bahay, dahil siya rin naman ang nakasabay ko kanina. Nawala rin kasi sa isip ko ang magpa-gas matapos kami umuwi noon ni Mavis na kasama si Travis. Para hindi na lang nakakahiya, dinahilan ko na lang na: inayos ko yung plates na ipina-ayos niya sa akin. A favor for a favor.

"Salamat sa paghatid Francis." I said as I unfastened my seat belt. Yet right before I could open the door, he opened it for me. He's just that sweet.

Mabait naman itong si Francis, hindi ko nga alam kung bakit sa akin pa siya nagkagusto. Ayoko naman siyang paasahin at nilinaw ko naman sa kanya na hanggang friendship lang ang kaya kong ibigay. Ayoko rin naman ipagtulakan siyang palayo dahil mabait naman siyang tao, lalo na at naging kaibigan ko rin siya mula pa noong college.

"Salamat." inalalayan niya ako at kinuha ko rin yung iba kong mga gamit mula sa kotse niya.

"Ihatid na rin kita hanggang loob." nakangiting sambit niya, pero nagulat na lang ako nang pagbuksan ako ni Kenzo ng gate.

"Ken, nakauwi ka na pala." teka, nagpang-abot ba sila ni Travis?

"Sakto naman na nandito ka Francis." bati ni Kenzo sa kanya, "Tara, gagala tayo, kasama natin yung prinsesa."

"Ha?" teka bakit hindi ako informed?

"Daddy, wait." sambit ng bata na nakabihis pang-alis. Talaga naman inayusan nito ni Ken si Mavis ng buhok. Baka ni-request ng bata na gayahin ang buhok ni Pucca dahil talaga namang maayos ang pagkaka-double bun nito. "Hello Mama." nakangiting bati sa akin ni Mavis.

"Teka," ibinaba ko yung mga dala dala kong gamit, "Saan kayo pupunta?"

"Star Kingdom!" Sigaw ng batang excited na nakataas pa ang kanyang mga kamay.

"Teka, bakit biglaan?" muling tanong ko kay Kenzo, "Teka lang, sasama ako."

"Kung susunod ka, may sasakyan ka naman, mauuna na kami doon." sambit ni Kenzo at kinuha sa akin si Mavis. "Mauuna na kami, para makasakay sa maraming rides, hindi ba Mavy?"

"Yaaaaay!" excited na tugon ng bata.

"Oh siya, kung ganoon, alis na rin kami Maxene." wala sa sariling paalam ni Francis sa akin at sumakay na rin ng kotse.

Tiningnan ko ang sarili ko, "Teka, pwede naman na ito na lang ang suot ko--" bago ko man matapos yung sasabihin ko, umandar na yung kotse.

Kainis naman oh!

Kinuha ko yung gamit ko na nilapag ko sa sahig at pumasok sa bahay, inalis ko ang sapatos ko at pinatong ang bag ko sa shoe cabinet. Napasapo ako sa may dibdib ko at bigla akong nanlumo nang makita sa sa salamin na may isang pendant na nawawala sa necklace ko.

"Shit!" saan ko nawala iyon?

I checked my bag, my stuff, pero hindi ko makita yung isang pendant ng necklace ko kasama ng angel wings ko.

Nalaglag ko ba iyon sa kotse ni Francis?

Tsk! Badtrip!

"Parang dinaanan ng bagyo yang mukha mo ah?" napatingin ako sa taong bumati sa akin. He smiled, tilting his head beside with his hands inside his pocket. "Welcome home."

I didn't know why those two words caused my heart to skip a beat. Binabati rin naman ako ni Mavis ng gano'n kapag nauwi ako, pati ni Kenzo, pero bakit iba ang epekto sa akin nang sa kanya manggaling ang mga salitang iyon?

"Hi." I greeted him as he handed me my slippers. Napansin ko naman agad ang sugat sa may labi niya, "Teka, anong nangyari diyan?"

He looks awkwardly shaking his head, "I tripped."

That's one stupid lie!

"Yung totoo?" Bakit masama ang naging kutob ko sa nangyari kanina, "Si Ken ba ang may gawa niyan?"

Nag-away ba sila ni Kenzo?

"I deserved it." He replied keeping his cool, "Gagaling din ito, don't worry." He added taking my hand, "You're probably hungry."

Fine, I'll let this pass and answered him, "Starving." I sigh and remembered, "Pero teka, nakakain na ba si Mavis?" kinamot ko ang ulo ko, "Bakit naman kasi biglaan siyang hinatak ni Ken?" I heard him let out a small chuckle, "Usually pinag-uusapan naman namin kung igagala namin si Mavis, pero..." I grunted, "Lagot talaga sa akin 'yang si Kenzo!"

"Hush." Travis pulled me to him as he silence my worries with a passionate kiss. I see him grinning, "Ayan, bayad ka na sa utang mong kisses sa akin simula pa kaninang umaga."

I look at him dumbfounded.

Anong utang na kisses kaninang umaga?

I see him biting his lip playfully as if he's expecting a reaction from me.

Maxene, focus!

"Kumain na ba si Mavis talaga?" I see him chuckled as if he's disappointed by my reaction, "Bakit kasi may biglaang gala? May alam ka ba sa nangyayari?" I asked diverting my attention. He leads me to the dining area and see that there's a candlelight dinner for two.

"You worry too much. Oo, kumain na si Mavis. Sabi naman ni Kenzo, saglit lang sila doon, kaya relax." sambit niya nang nakangiti sa akin.

Pinaupo niya ako at sinalinan niya ng wine ang baso ko, "Para naman saan ito?" pilit ko siyang binabasa.

He says nothing as he sits on the opposite side, "Dinner lang."

I sighed. Maybe I'm overthinking.

"Siguro niluto ni Kenzo 'tong mga ito, ano? Suhol para hiramin yung anak ko." binuksan ko ang cloche at nakita ang nakahandang silog na may nakatabing mushroom soup.

Now this is not something I expect of Kenzo. I look at Travis and see him avoiding my gaze.

"Nagpaturo akong magluto kay Kenzo kanina," nahihiyang sambit niya, "Pagpasensyahan mo na kung ganyan lang ang nakayanan ko. Gusto ko kasing lutuan ngayon. Matagal tagal mo na rin akong nilulutuan dati." His dark brown eyes slowly gaze back at me with uncertainty as if he just failed putting up a nice impression around me.

This is the first time he cooked me food.

Kumuha ako ng isang subo at ninamnam ito. Hindi ko alam kung bakit masyado akong naging emosyonal nang matikman ko ito. Kung tutuusin naman, kahit saang karinderya nakakakain ako ng silog, pero bakit iba ang lasa ng silog na ito?

My tears starts falling from my eyes.

"Ito na ata ang pinakamasarap na silog na nakain ko." pilit ko siyang nginitian at pinasalamatan, "I love it." muli pa akong sumubo habang naluha.

He approaches my seat and wipes my tears away.

"Pasensya na, sobrang sarap lang kasi." Pagsisinungaling ko, kahit na ang totoo, sobra ko itong ikinatutuwa na halos sumabog ang puso ko sa tuwa.

"I'll try to cook better," he says with a smile brushing my tears away, "Mag-aaral akong magluto para hainan ka ng masasarap na pagkain na gusto mong kainin." he utters words that hold a promise as he reveals the other pendant from my necklace that I thought I lost today. "I'll be more than willing to do everything for you if you wear this again."

"You..." I swallowed the food inside my mouth, "You found my ring."

He smiles, "You still have it." he says awkwardly, as I noticed that he looked at my necklace tilting his head beside, "I remembered that as well." He let out an awkward chuckle as if he was trying not to melt in front of me.

"May sentimental value kasi sa akin ang mga 'to." I made a goofy face as I contain my feelings.

"Maxene," he utters my name as if he's singing me a song,, "Is it okay for me to be in your life again?" he started, taking a deep breath, "Can we have our always?" he uttered a silent wish with a soft smile, holding my hand, "Can I call you Mine, again?" He speaks of our endearment that I haven't heard for years, "Do you want to marry me, Maxene?"

"I thought you're not the commitment type of guy?" I teased and hear him let out an awkward laugh.

"Do you want to prove me wrong?" I giggled from his response looking at him wholeheartedly, "I really want you to prove me wrong." he says with certainty as I see my reflection in his eyes.

Pumalumbaba ako sa lamesa, "Well, ayos lang ba sa iyo na makasal sa isang single mom?" I teased and saw him laughing at me again.

"You don't need to tell me, what I know already," he says with a smile, "Tanggap ko ang lahat ng meron sa buhay mo ngayon, just tell me kung oo o hindi lang."

I puffed my face, "Eh paano kung hindi?"

"I'm not going to stop until you say yes." he says with conviction.

"Why are you so sure that I'm going to say what you expect me to say?" I raised him an eyebrow.

"Because you said you love me. That's everything I need to hold on to us." He says looking into my eyes, "That's the only hope I hold on to and that's the only reason I'm fighting for you..."

I see him looking at me as his heart lays everything he has for me.

Years has passed, but he's still giving me that same look as if he's looking at his future.

I bit my lip, until my heart tell him, "YES." His eyes sparkled. "I want to marry you, Mine." he bit his lip containing his happiness as he put the ring on my finger. "Buti ano, kasya pa sa daliri ko." I teased and saw him smiling at me. He pulls me towards him giving me a tight hug.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." he says repeatedly with every beat of his heart. "I LOVE YOU, MINE." I feel the happiness of his heart as he faces me with a smile that melts my heart.

Putting my hand on his chest, I tell him, "Always, Mine."

I felt how his heart skipped a beat and like a switch he closes the gap between us with a sweet kiss.

"I love you so much Maxene." he uttered, tracing my face with a soft smile.

"I love you, Travis."

Upon that declaration, the beat of our hearts  hums a familiar rhythm that only the two of us could hear. Until that same tune plays a single melody that shifts into that one song that we haven't heard in years.

He delicately caressed my face, planting a kiss on my forehead. He smiles awkwardly, figuring out where the odds will lead him from there, as if he is asking me a certain permission that he yearns to be granted. 

Taking his hand on my face, I tilted my head beside and kissed the palm of his hand without breaking eye contact.

His lips parted. His breathing changed in sync with mine. I see myself looking back at me through his eyes.

His thumb brushes my lips like a soft feather, leaving ripples of kisses on my nose, cheeks until his lips landed on my lips. It's all light and slow at first, yet the more we exchange our breaths, the more longing takes place between us.

The tension between us rises as he pulls me to him. Feeling like I've been swallowed by a dark hole, he leaves me breathless.

I haven't felt this fire in years.

My hands were on his nape, embracing him tightly;  allowing him to gain more access to my lips. I feel him burning up while I melt like butter in front of him.

I let him corner me to the wall and feel his hungry kisses from my mouth, to my cheeks, to my neck grunting my name with intense yearning. I feel his hands strumming me gently like an acoustic guitar. Up and down. From outside my shirt to inside my brassier--

I immediately cut the kiss as I remember something ugly.

I hide my face to his chest.

"What's wrong?" he asks with worry. He probably noticed my uncertainties as he catches his breath.

I let out a small smile calming myself down, "I guess I'm just a little worn out for today." I answered awkwardly, hoping he'd believe me with that excuse.

His eyes softened, taking me into his arms, "Okay, magpahinga ka na lang muna kung ganoon." I hear his heart singing my name as he controls his breathing. He kisses my temple, "I love you, Mine." I feel his lips smiling as he uttered our endearment.

"I love you, Mine." I say as I inhale his scent.

MABILIS NA DUMAAN ang panahon, matapos ng proposal niya sa akin noong gabing iyon.

Kinabukasan agad din kaming pumunta sa bahay para muli niyang hingiin ang kamay ko mula sa mga magulang ko.

Nagkaroon muna sila ni Dad ng usapang lalaki sa lalaki at mukha namang pinahirapan na naman siya ni Daddy.

Pero si Mommy, masayang masaya siya para sa akin dahil sa wakas daw, bumalik na rin ang taong pinaka hinihintay ko matapos ng ilang taon.

Tila naging long engagement daw ang nangyari sa amin dahil nga hindi naman talaga nawala ang pagmamahal namin sa isa't-isa. Sadyang may kanya-kanya lang kaming inayos para sa mga sarili namin, para mas maging matibay kaming dalawa na harapin ang susunod na daan na gusto naming tahakin parehas.

Naalala ko pa ang sinabi sa akin ni Mommy noon, "I'm proud to see the woman you become, you totally exceeded my expectations and I must say, you're a better mother than I was." I was overwhelmed by my Mom's thoughts of me as a person as I remember how she showers Mavis with her love.

Mas mahal niya pa ata si Mavis sa akin at talaga namang nakonsensya siya na minsang lumabas sa bibig niya na ipaampon si Mavis noon, dahil ako lang naman daw ang iniisip niya.

Our parents aren't perfect. They too make decisions that they regret later on. But the only thing that my mom is proud of, was how I handled things on my own and how I proved her wrong from the thought of what could destroy or hurt me. Because having Mavis, even if I was a single mom for how many years, isn't something that I am embarrassed of. It is a strength and a type of unconditional love that at the end of the day, I'll choose her happiness over anything else.

Single Moms are Super Moms.

Iyon ang araw-araw na pinaparamdam sa akin ng munting anghel ko. Kaya araw-araw kong pinagsusumikapan maging mas mabuting ina... mabuting tao... at ngayon na makakasama na namin ang Papa niya, I'll do my best to stand as his equal and give myself the chance I owe to myself.

Ang sunod naming kinita ay ang biological parents ni Travis na nasa probinsya. Isang linggo rin kami roon at masaya akong malaman na miski si Nanay Lynda ay kasal na sa wakas sa Tatay ni Travis nitong nakaraang taon lang din.

Nakakatawang pagmasdan na pinapalibutan si Mavis ng mga taong mahal na mahal siya sa unang pagkikita pa lang nila.

Ang witty nga ni Mavis dahil ang tawag niya sa Tatay ni Travis ay, Lolo Tay, tapos sa adoptive father naman niya ay, Lolo Pa. Lolo Dad kasi ang tawag ni Mavis kay Daddy.

Aliw na aliw sila kay Mavis at naalala ko pa noon na baka magtampo sa akin yung adoptive father ni Travis, kaya naman sinabi ko rin sa kanya na--

"I told you, we're family." Tinabihan ako ni--, "Kaya practice calling me Papa from now on, okay?" Joseph Hayes winked at me as I saw how two families come together in one picture.

AS PROMISED and finally, we arranged our prenup shoot together that we both enjoyed and reenacted the memories we had in the past.

Para kaming bumalik sa pagkabata nang dalawin namin ang mga lugar na napuntahan namin na magkasama noon, ngunit nagkaroon ng panandaliang break sa pag-aasikaso sa kasal namin dahil dumaan din ang pasko at bagong taon.

Pinalampas na rin namin ang taon na ito, tutal ilang buwan na lang naman bago ang mismong araw ng kasal namin, para lang hindi sukob. Wala namang masama kung susunod kami sa pamahiin.

TATLONG BUWAN simula noong bumalik si Travis sa buhay ko, wala akong kasing saya na makasama siya ulit. Totoo iyon, pero sa tuwing nagiging intimate kami sa isa't-isa, hindi ko alam kung bakit kung kailan ako tumanda, tsaka ako tinablan ng sandamakmak na hiya sa katawan.

Hindi ko alam, pero pakiramdam ko ang pangit-pangit ko na. Hindi na naman ako katulad noon na masasabi kong kaaya aya tingnan, lalo na kung pagtatabihin ko ang pictures ko noon sa hitsura ko ngayon.

Ayokong madisappoint si Travis sa akin. Tapos hindi pa naaalis ang bakas ng pagbubuntis ko noon kay Mavis. Hindi ko naman maisingit ang pagpapaderma at pagpapaganda.

Napabayaan ko na ata ang sarili ko masyado. Hay.

Sana lang talaga, hindi niya napapansin ang pag aalinlangan ko.

Baka effective rin ang mga palusot ko sa kanya.

Sa totoo lang, nauubusan na ako ng palusot sa tuwing magkakaroon siya ng chance na maging intimate sa akin. Lagi ko ring tinatabihan si Mavis, para hindi niya ako masolo.

A WEEK BEFORE the wedding, sumunod kami sa pamahiin na hindi dapat magkita ang dalawang ikakasal. Kaya thru text and call lang kami nagkaka-usap.

Masaya akong marinig na bumalik si Laurenz para sa kasal namin, kaya gumawa rin ako ng paraan para pilitin si Sarah na bumalik mula sa US bilang maid of honor ko.

Nagkaroon ako ng bachelorette party na inayos ni Stephanie para sa akin. Masaya akong makita na kumpleto ang girl-friends ko at siyempre, hindi rin naman mawawala sa grupo si Monique na naging parte na rin ng barkada dahil na rin sa naging connection niya kay Sarah.

"I'm happy for you, finally." She says genuinely. "At ang cute ni Mavis ah, halatang mana sa ina." Pagpuna niya habang nilalaro ng girl-friends ko ang bata na naka onesie alpaca suit.

Ang bachelorette party ko, ay naging pajama party, kaya movie marathon with onesies and foodies ang naging theme, dito lang din sa bahay ginanap, sa bahay ko, to be exact.

"So, saan ang honeymoon ninyo?" Nasa hotseat ako nang makatulog na ang anak ko nang magsimulang magtanong ni Stephanie.

I shrugged uninterestedly, "Hindi pa namin napag-uusapan iyan. Though, baka bumalik siya ulit saglit sa England. Ilang buwan din siyang naging busy kasama ko rito eh." I laughed awkwardly, "Hindi ko naman akalain na isa siya sa kilalang Attorney doon."

"Nyeee, wala pang balak sundan si Mavis? Bigyan niyo na ng kapatid iyon oh." Dagdag ni Monique mula sa naging unang tanong ni Stephanie.

"Hindi naman kami nagmamadali." In fact, I need more time to make myself presentable.

"Well, bata pa rin naman si Mavis, kaya i-enjoy niyo na lang muna ang unica hija ninyo." I was saved by my best friend's comment. Thank you Sarah!

"Eh kayo ni Laurenz, nagkita na ba kayo?" tanong ni Monique kay Sarah. Sorry best friend, napunta ang spotlight sa iyo.

"Well, his loss, not hers," supladang sagot ni Abby para sa kaibigan na tinanguhan lang ni Kathleen.

"Isama mo kaya yung manliligaw mo," payo ni Monique, "Pagselosin mo, heh."

"Si Laurenz," Stephanie chuckled, "As if, eh ang taas ng pride ng taong iyon, hindi ba? Kung hindi nga dahil kay Martin, hindi pa siya aamin kay Sarah noon."

"Ay akala ko si Travis ang naging trigger?" Tanong ko, iyon kasi ang pagkaka-alala ko. Noong malaman ko pa nga, gusto ko siyang batukan noon eh.

"Eh, bahala na." Nahihiyang sambit ng bestfriend ko na parang ayaw pag-usapan ang tungkol dito, "Ang bida sa gabing ito ay si Max, kaya, dapat mag celebrate tayo para sa kanya." pilit man ni Sarah ngumiti sa aming lahat, pero sadyang hindi siya makakapag sinungaling sa amin.

"Well who knows Sarah." pilyong banat sa kanya ni Monique, "Ikaw lang ang nakakaalam, kung worth it pa ba si Lance o palalampasin mo na lang siya ulit."

Looking into my bestfriend's eyes, I know the answer already.