T R A V I S

"I'm so proud of you, son." I hear Mama's voice complimenting me. She's smiling at me as the wind plays her platinum blonde hair. I held her hand yet it was weird because my hands are small like I came back being a child in front of my adoptive mother. Mama held my face, "No matter what others say, anak kita at mahal na mahal kita."

"I love you too, Mama." everytime I called her that, she couldn't contain her tears. Kaya minsan nahihiya akong tawagin siyang Mama, kasi pakiramdam ko, lagi ko siyang pinapaiyak.

"Masaya akong makita kang lumaki na maayos." mahinang sambit niya, "That's the most priceless gift that a child could give to his parents, to see them grow as a person." I see Mama holding my hand to her face, now my hand is back to normal as her sapphire blue eyes meet mine, "I'll always be with you. I love you Azrael."

Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang mga mata ko at pagka-angat ko sa kamay ko, naka-dextrose ako, kaya yung isang kamay ang ginamit ko para punasan ang luha ko at tumingin sa labas ng bintana.

Sinubukan kong huminga ng malalim, pero may kung anong kumikirot sa likuran ko kaya pilit kong kinalma ang sarili ko. Ano nga ba ang nangyari paano ako napadpad dito?

"Gising ka na pala, anak." bati sa akin ni Papa, pagpasok sa kwarto. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, Pa." matipid kong tugon. Hindi ko alam kung paano siya titingnan ngayon dahil hindi rin naman basta-basta ang ibinigay kong-- "Pa, what happened?" bigla kong naalala ang lahat, the bet, the poker game, the concert, the race. Kumirot ulit ang likuran ko.

"Take it easy, just relax, ang payo ng Doctor ay hindi ka dapat ma-stress o makaramdam ng sobrang emosyon na makakapressure sa baga mo."

I look at him in disbelief, "Ano po ang ibig sabihin noon, Pa?"

"You had a punctured lung, inoperahan ka para lang matanggal yung bala na pumasok sa baga mo matapos kang mabaril ni Franco. Buti na lang din at nagbigay sayo ng dugo yung kapatid mo dahil alanganin ang sitwasyon mo noon." he shakes his head filled with frustration and disappointment in his face, "Pareho kayo ng Mama mo." may pait sa boses niya nang binalikan niya ako ng tingin, "Kung pati ikaw ay iiwan ako, hindi talaga kita mapapatawad, Travis."

"I'm very sorry Papa." umiwas ako ng tingin, masyado ko nga talaga siyang sinagad. Hindi ko pa kailanman nakita si Papa na magalit sa akin, pero ito ang unang beses na pinagalitan niya ako.

I didn't expect that, that's the cost of what happened. Lalo na at sinalinan pa ako ng dugo para lang maka-survive. Kung ganito ka-galit si Papa, what more si Laurenz, siguradong makakarinig din ako ng sermon doon.

"Ano ba kasi ang iniisip mo?" muling tanong pabalik sa akin ni Papa, "Pumayag ako na ipahawak sayo itong kaso na matagal ko ng pinag-aaralan, mahirap hulihin ang tusong hayop na katulad ni Franco, pero ikaw--" I shut my eyes as I prepare myself for what he's about to say, "Anak," I was caught off guard as he held my free hand, "You did it. Hindi man katulad ng nasa isip kong gawin, pero nagawa mo, anak." he held my hand tightly.

"Pero inilagay mo pa rin ang sarili mo sa alanganin. Iyon ang ayoko sanang gawin mo, pero sadyang matigas talaga ang ulo mo," he faces me with a regretful smile, "Kung magkataon man talaga na sumunod ka kay Trudi, baka mapatay ako noon sa bangungot, alam mo naman ang Mama mo." he let out a chuckle and I put up a smile.

"Pasensya na po Pa, kung masyado ko kayong pinag-alala." I paused looking into his eyes, "Tulad nga po ng sabi niyo noon, madidisappoint po kayo kung isusuko ko na lang ang isang laban, kung may paraan pa naman para ipanalo ito."

He put up a smile, "I'm proud of you, anak."

"Pero nakapagbigay pa rin po ako sa kanila ng--" I'm about to open up the bargain I gave after losing the first bet.

"Well about that," umupo siya sa katabing upuan sa kama ko at napabuntong hininga, "May kopya pa rin ako ng mga files na iyon." he chuckled, "Come on son, really, is that what you're worrying about?" he tilted his head beside, hiding his amusement, "I trust you, even if I am guilty of the part that got you involved in this complicated arrangement."

I close my eyes with a smile, "Ayos lang po iyon Pa, the less I know, the better po, hindi ba?" binalikan ko siya ng tingin.

"I never once said that." nakangiti man siya, pero seryoso niya akong pinagmamasdan, "Kahit kailan hindi ka namin inexclude sa buhay na meron kami ng Mama mo. Kami ng Mama mo, tinuro namin ang lahat sa iyo, para pagdating ng araw, kaya mong protektahan ang sarili mo, pati ang Nanay mo at ang kapatid mo. You know everything, yet you choose to stay in your room because that's the excuse you're telling to yourself."

Mukhang napahiya na naman ako sa harapan ni Papa.

I hear him sigh, "Anak, why do you think so little of yourself?" his question made me look at him, "Nagkulang ba kami ng Mama mo? Dahil ba sa hindi ka namin kadugo, dahil ba sa ampon ka namin?"

I shake my head as I start to feel-- "Siguro po, pakiramdam ko, hindi ko lang po talaga deserve." my thoughts spoke of the words I am trying to hide from him, but it seems like it's too late to retract my words, "I mean, sino lang naman po ba ako, miski nga po si Tatay, basta-basta na lang akong pinamigay, hindi po ba? Kaya po, bakit ganito po ninyo ako ni Mama, pahalagahan?"

"Terrence did what he thought was best for you back then," I look at Papa, "Sa nangyari noon kay Lynda, hindi niya mapatawad ang sarili niya, kaya ipinagkatiwala ka niya sa amin noon." he let out an awkward chuckle, "You were too young to understand him back then, but as I see you now, I see him in you. Well, at least mas matapang na version niya."

I'm uncertain of how I should react on that, "Ang ibig niyo po bang sabihin, mahina ang loob ni Tatay?"

"Pagdating sa mga taong pinakapinahahalagahan niya, oo." derechong sagot sa akin ni Papa. "Pero iba ka sa Tatay mo, dahil kahit na talo ka na, pinilit mo pa ring ipaglaban ang pinapaniwalaan mo. Ngunit, katulad ni Terrence, kung sino ang kahinaan mo, iyon din ang pinagkukunan mo ng lakas."

I gulped as I saw her smiling face inside my head. "Pero iba na po ang sitwasyon ngayon, hindi po ba?" I almost see uncertainty in his eyes as I tell him my decision.

"Kung iyon talaga ang nais mo, anak, tutulungan kita." malumanay akong nginitian ni Papa.

"It's for the best, Papa." I tell him with certainty.

M A X E N E

Sa tuwing dinadalaw ko siya sa ospital, wala siyang malay. Ilang oras din akong naghihintay para lang magising siya, pero sadyang kailangan ng katawan niyang magpahinga.

Kahit gaano katagal, hihintayin ko siyang magising, para masabi ko na sa kanya...

Ilang araw, linggo, hindi ko alam kung nakalagpas na ba ng ilang buwan matapos ang pangyayaring iyon.

Hindi ko talaga malilimutan ang gabing akala kong iyon na ang huling beses na maririnig ko ang boses niya. Ayokong umalis sa tabi niya at ayokong umiwi ng hindi ko naririnig na ayos na siya kahit pa punong-puno ng dugo ang damit ko noon.

Kailangan niya pa noon masalinan agad ng dugo at laking pasasalamat ko nang mag-volunteer yung kapatid niya na nag-aalala rin para sa Kuya niya.

Ilang oras pa ang nakalipas noon na ideklara ng doktor na stable na ang vitals niya, pero hindi rin naman basta-basta ang naging kapalit noon sa katawan niya dahil sa pinsalang natamo ng pagkakabaril sa kanya.

The doctor said that he would recover, but it'll take a long time, especially since he just had surgery.

Sana gumaling siya. Iyon lang ang araw-araw na pinag darasal ko kay God.

Hindi naman kasi dapat siya ang mababaril noong gabing iyon, pero sinalo niya ang bala na para sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sinisisi ko ang sarili ko sa nangyari sa kanya, pero sa lahat ng ginawa niya para lang sa akin, mas gugustuhin ko na lang na isumbat niya sa akin iyon, kaysa sa marinig kong wala na siya.

I'm not sure if I could take another loss. I already lost Hope, I wouldn't want to lose him too. He's all I have left.

Every single day I pay him a visit, I am patiently waiting for him to open his eyes again.

I hope that today is my lucky day.

I opened his room but found no one, not even on his bed.

I double checked the room and see his name on the door, pero bakit walang tao?

I asked a nurse about the patient that is supposed to be in this room, but to my surprise, I just learned that he was discharged just this morning.

Gulong-gulo ako kung bakit siya madidischarge ng ganun kabilis, eh sa ilang mga araw na binibisita ko siya, wala pa siyang malay, and of course after what happened, he surely needs some more time in the hospital maybe doing physical therapy.

Well not unless-- no scratch that thought Maxene, don't start doubting. Hindi sa kalayuan, nakita ko ang adoptive father niya.

"Mr. Hayes." bati ko sa kanya at sa isang kumpas lang kamay niya, yung mga naka-guard sa kanya lumayo sa amin ng konti. Hindi ko alam kung mai-intimidate ba ako sa kanya o ano, pero ibang-iba siya sa naiimagine kong mafia bosses sa ilang movies na pinanood ko. Masyado kasing maamo ang mukha niya tapos kamukhang-kamukha niya rin si Johnny Depp.

"Hello, young miss, kamusta na?" His voice is friendly, warm and welcoming, his dimples are almost noticeable, he's wearing a white shirt and a black blazer that compliments his fedora hat on. Halos pareho sila ng dating ni Travis sa kung paano nila dalhin ang sarili nila, for a man his age, talaga namang kapansin pansing kung paano siya lingunin ng ibang kababaihan na napapadaan sa paligid namin.

"Nasaan po pala si Travis?" I asked him hiding my anxiousness with a smile, "I just went inside his room earlier, pero wala po akong naabutang tao doon."

He let out a sigh shaking his head in disbelief putting his hand on his head massaging his temple, "Bakit ba napakapasaway ng batang iyon?" I can say that he's a doting father to how he reacts towards Travis's behavior, but who knows, baka iba lang siya kapag ako ang kaharap niya, kasi sa pagkaka-kwento naman dati ni Travis, hindi naman ganito ang impression niya sa Papa niya. Supportive, oo, pero doting father, malabo pa para sa kanya. Muli siyang kumumpas na dahilan kung bakit nilapitan siya ng isa niyang guard, "Wala bang nagbabantay kanina doon sa kwarto ni Travis?"

"Pasensya na po, akala po kasi namin tulog si young master."

So iyon talaga ang tawag sa kanya, bigla ko tuloy naaalala noong nasa Japan kami.

Joseph Hayes gave a light nod looking back at me with a firm line on his lips, I'm not sure if he is maintaining his cool in front of me even if it is obvious that what his son did wasn't something he'd expect. Bigla kong naalala kung paano siya nag-alala noong gabing nabaril si Travis, siya rin pala ang nagtutuok ng baril sa ulo ni Senator sa sobrang galit. Pero nagawa pa rin niyang magpigil at imbis na gumanti siya siya sa dating nagawa ni Senator sa asawa niya, pinabayaan niyang gumanti sa tamang paraan. Hindi ko man alam kung ano ang nangyari sa ibang negosyo ni Senator, pero ang company ni Mommy at ang business ni Dad overseas, nabawi iyon ni Joseph Hayes at isinauli sa amin. Malaki ang utang na loob nila Dad at Mom sa kanya, pero walang hiningi na kapalit si Joseph Hayes na kahit ano mula sa mga magulang ko.

"Well, just go home Maxene, don't worry, I'll find him and you'll be the first to know. I'll contact you." he patted my shoulder as he walked ahead of me, pero bago pa siya makalayo sa akin, nilingon niya ako ulit, "But in case you know where to find him, could you let me know?" he asks, leaving me with a friendly smile on his face.

Paano ko naman malalaman, eh ang inaasahan ko pasyente siya dito sa ospital. "I'll try po, salamat." I replied politely at nagpaalam sa kanya hanggang sa hindi ko na siya nakita pa.

Nagbabakasakali ako na sasagutin ni Travis ang tawag ko, pero patuloy lang itong nag-riring na parang hindi niya ito naririnig o sadyang naka-silent lang ba ang cellphone niya na bihira niyang gawin not unless he doesn't want to be disturbed--

I checked my calendar. Today is the 20th.

I hope I'm right where to look for him.

Agad akong pumara ng cab at dumerecho sa sementeryo, dali-dali akong tumakbo papunta sa puntod ni Hope at nakita ko siya.

May kung anong nagising sa kaloob-looban ng kaluluwa ko nang makita ko siyang nakatayo sa harapan ng puntod ni Hope. Pinipigilan kong umiyak dahil alam ko naman na ayaw niya akong makitang umiiyak, pero pwede ko bang sabihin na 'tears of joy' ito dahil masaya akong makita siyang gising ngayon?

"Hey Hayes." I greeted him and saw him turning his head in my direction. I put up a smile on my face convincing myself not to cry in front of him, yet my tears failed me, I immediately wiped my tears away. I let out an awkward laugh, "Found you."

He said nothing but smiled at me.

"Tinakasan ko nga sila Papa, para saglit na dumalaw dito, pero ikaw," he let out a light chuckle, "Nahanap mo ako dito."

Pasaway talaga 'tong taong ito.

I miss the sound of his voice.

"Eh, kaya mo na ba talaga?" I asked him, hiding my uncertainty as I saw him looking at Hope's gravestone.

"I just have to be here." he answered as expected. I noticed the bouquet of flowers he bought for her.

I miss how he looks at me just like this.

"Hindi mo ba ilalagay sa lapag iyan?" I teased.

"I'm actually contemplating if I could kneel or bow without feeling that something pinches my lungs." he smiled awkwardly and I laughed at him.

Kinuha ko na yung mga bulaklak at inayos ito sa paraan na gusto niya.

"See, madali lang naman eh." I made a goofy face.

I just miss making you smile Travis.

He shakes his head controlling his breathing, "Gustuhin ko man tumawa, pero sabi ng doktor, bawal muna ako makaramdam ng kahit anong sobra. Mahirap din huminga ng malalim, pakiramdam ko may tinik sa baga ko."

I held out his hand and felt him holding it lightly as we stood in silence. I prayed and thanked Hope for keeping Travis safe after what happened.

I looked at him and saw him praying as well and by the time he opened his eyes he looked at me, "I want to be here every the twentieth of the month," I smiled and nod at him, "Kung kailangan kong magtanim ng asul na rosas sa kanya, para mabigyan ko siya buwan-buwan, gagawin ko." I laughed at him considering he is humoring himself around me with a hint of sadness in his eyes, "I--" he looks away.

"What happened, isn't your fault." I say as I face him, "Hope wouldn't want us to blame ourselves over and over again."

He shakes his head, "Hindi ko lang maiwasan." he closes his eyes with a smile, "Pakiramdam ko kasi, noong nawala siya, may parte din sa akin na namatay din."

I know what that felt like.

"I'll try to forgive myself, but it's not that easy," he uttered with a weak smirk.

"I forgave you." I tell him as he looks my way, "I'm sure Hope also forgave you, it's all in the past now, Travis. Oo, hindi madali, pero sa tingin mo ba matutuwa si Hope kung magpapakalugmok tayo sa nangyari?" he let out a soft smile, "I'm sure she's somewhere in heaven, baka nga kasama niya pa ang Mama mo, hindi ba?"

I hear him laugh softly, "Kung totoo man iyon, baka tuwang-tuwa si Mama makalaro si Hope sa langit."

I said nothing but smiled at him.

"I dreamed about Hope before I woke up." he started softly, "Or maybe that's just what I imagine her to be."

"Bright and playful with bubbly cheeks, dark brown eyes and long hair?" I described that little girl I dreamt back then, hindi ko na ulit siya napapanaginipan. I noticed him looking at me with surprise, "I dreamt about her too, way back then." I admitted. "She's an angel. Our angel."

"That's exactly how I see her." he says with a weak awkward voice.

I put my hand on his face, as he looked into my eyes, "You proved your point already," I smiled, "Tama ka, mali nga ang naging desisyon ko." He held my hand on his face, "You saved me again." he kissed the palm of my hand, closing his eyes.

"Kung pagagalitan mo rin ako, madami dami na akong sermon na narinig." he says with a light chuckle shaking his head.

"Umay ka na ba?" I asked, tilting my head beside. "Nag-aalala lang naman sila sa iyo, lalo na si Lance."

He smiled, "Oo nga eh, siya, si Papa, hindi ko pa sigurado kung may alam si Tatay, pero sana hindi na malaman ni Nanay." he says weakly, "Hindi na naman nila ako responsibilidad at kaya ko naman. Kinaya ko naman."

The last three words make me feel that he's doesn't want to depend on anyone anymore.

"Nag-alala din ako sa iyo noong gabing iyon Travis." I uttered enough for him to hear as he met my eyes again, "That scared me." I feel a tear fall from my cheek, "I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because of--" words left me as I cried in front of him. His hands were on my face wiping my tears, "I just can't take another loss, Travis."

"I'm sorry." he uttered enough for me to hear, "I'm so sorry Maxene."

I shake my head, I have to tell him, he should know.

"Travis, I wanted to tell you this, I--" before I say another word, he pulls me close for a kiss and I just let him take me in his arms as I feel his hands embracing me as he always does. He takes the air out of me as I give him all my energy, this kiss reminds me of the first time we kissed in public. He cuts the kiss as if he felt something that pinches in him. Nawala rin sa isip ko.

"I'm sorry." he says awkwardly, calming himself down, "Let me control my breathing first."

"No, I'm at fault," I tell him, bawal nga siyang makaramdam ng anumang sobra, pinagalitan ko ang sarili ko, "Ayos ka na ba?" I see him with his eyes closed as he regains his control.

"I'm okay now." He says with a friendly smile, "Thank you."

Siguro hindi ko na muna sasabihin sa kanya, "Ano kaya kung bumalik ka na lang sa hospital ngayon, mamaya kung ano pa ang mangyari sa iyo."

"I'll manage," he says with certainty, "Look, today looks nice, it would be a waste if we let today pass," he pauses looking at the skies and back at me, "Do you want to go out with me, today?"

"Are you asking me for a date?" I asked, almost teasing him and seeing him chuckled.

"Well, I'm not sure how to answer that question from that context." he sounds a little awkward, "Pero, kung ayaw mo--"

"I would love to," I answered before he assumed the opposite and saw him smiling at me wholeheartedly.

Muli naming dinalaw ang lugar kung saan kami nag-celebrate ng sixth monthsary namin, it feels like we reenact the activities we did back then, but this time, we didn't ride a horse but went into some museums I never been to. We also went at a different zoo, dahil sabi niya, may ibang zoo pa naman dito sa lugar na ito. Then we had a fun time in the humble amusement park and we even went out for a picnic where I see some husky dogs and took a picture with them

"Ang cute niya oh! Halos kamukha niya yung aso ko dati na si Alpha." I almost squealed like a child. Natatawa lang siyang pagmasdan ako habang pinapabayaan ko siyang kunan ako ng litrato pero bigla rin siyang napuwing, "Ayos ka lang ba?" nakita kong napaluha siya.

"Yung balahibo ng aso, napunta ata sa mata ko." Natatawa niyang sambit at pinunasan ko naman ng wet tissue yung mata niya para malinis.

Who would have thought that we can go to different places in just a day o sadyang walang traffic ngayon kaya maluwag-luwag sa highway.

Nang malapit na ang dapithapon, kumain kami sa isang tahimik na lugar kung saan makikita mula sa malayo ang magandang tanawin.

"Do you know that Azrael is also an angel's name?" My question made him a little uncomfortable as he avoided my gaze.

He smiles weakly, "I know."

Mukhang hindi pa rin siya kumportableng pag-usapan namin ang bagay na iyon.

I have a lot to ask him, but is it the right time?

"Do you remember," I attempted to open the topic cautiously, "Noong na-kidnap ka?"

"Vaguely." Matipid niyang sagot, "I'm not sure if what I remember is right. Pero may mga pagkakataon na napapanaginipan ko ang alaalang iyon." he shakes his head, "Pakiramdam ko, ayaw na rin ni Mama na maalala ko iyon, hindi naman imposible na may eksperto na inalis ang alaala na iyon sa utak ko."

So he really doesn't remember, maybe I should drop this subject.

"Pero," he started, "Hindi mismo ang pagkaka-kidnap sa akin ang minsan na naalala ko, kundi ang nangyari bago ako makuha ng mga taong hindi ko kilala." he let out a small sigh, "Kung tama ang naalala ko, may nadamay na iba pang bata noong na-kidnap ako." he gulped bitterly, "Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyari sa batang iyon, pero kung hindi lang siya noon sumigaw para magsumbong, hindi sana siya madadamay."

"Hindi mo naman kasalanan iyon." his reaction is something I already expected.

"Yeah, but still, I couldn't help but feel bad about it." He admits, "Lalo na wala akong magawa noon para lang hindi siya matakot, kaya kinumbinsi ko siyang pupunta kami ng Neverland kasi sinabi ko noon sa kanya, kinuha kami ni Captain Hook."

I giggled, "I thought you never watched any Disney films?" I tilted my head beside.

"But I read the book." He says with a small smile, "Sa nabasa kong version, ang kwento ni Peter Pan ay tungkol sa isang batang namatay na hinahanap hanap ng kanyang ina." he looks away, "Iyon ang binabasa ko noon kasi naaalala ko si Nanay sa kwentong iyon pati na rin si Laurenz na akala kong nawala na rin noon." I suddenly that image of him as a young boy feeling-- "Ayoko lang siguro na isipin na hindi ko na sila kasama, kaya ibinalin ko ang atensyon ko sa librong iyon."

He doesn't want to feel alone.

Ayoko naman na malungkot siya kaya binago ko ang topic, "Anyway, if ever you get a chance to meet with the kid who happens to be your company, noong na-kidnap ka, ano ang sasabihin mo sa kanya?"

"Uhmm, siguro, magpapasalamat ako sa kanya." I see him smiling again.

"Bakit ka naman magpapasalamat sa batang iyon?" I didn't expect him to hear that answer from him.

"Dahil siya ang nagturo sa akin kung paano makipagkaibigan." he answered awkwardly that made me smile a bit, "As far as I can remember, I'm just trying to get by that day, maraming bata, pero hindi ko magawang makipagkaibigan dahil alam kong hindi naman ako katulad nilang mayayaman, nasanay ako noon na ako at si Nanay lang ang kasama ko sa maliit na bahay, pero nagbago ang mundo ko noong inampon ako nila Mama at Papa. Pero isang bata ang lumapit sa akin at nakipag kaibigan sa akin noon." Natatawa niyang kwento, "Hindi ko lang talaga maalala ang mukha niya, pero siya lang ang tumawag sa akin sa pangalan na ibinigay ni Mama sa akin."

So he doesn't know that, that kid was me.

"Dahil iyon ang sinabi mong ginagamit mong pangalan dati, hindi ba?" I asked and saw him nodding at me as I uttered, "Well, bagay din naman sa iyo ang pangalang Azrael ah? Sabi naman sa iyo, you're also a guardian angel, Travis, no wonder." I smile widely at him.

He let out a light chuckle, "Life is bigger being Azrael especially now, every decision matters. Siguro nasanay lang ako sa maliit na mundo kung saan alam kong doon ako nababagay. Kuntento na akong ganoon lang. Pero iyon nga, ako ang tagapagmana nila Mama at Papa, kaya..." he shrugs uninterestedly, " So, I gotta live up with their expectations."

"Well just so you know," I held his hand across the table, "I trust you no matter what happens." I say as he looks at me like he is guarding himself around me.

He blinks and smiled, "Thank you." I held his hand as he held mine.

After we eat our dinner, I saw him receiving a text message, baka Papa niya iyon, kasi agad din siyang nagreply.

"Bakit kasi hindi ka nagpaalam sa Papa mo, nagkita rin kami kanina sa hospital." muli kong tukso sa kanya at sa narinig niya, parang hindi niya alam kung paano ako sasagutin. "Dapat nga sasabihin ko siya na nagkita tayo, nakonsensya ako at hindi ko nagawa dahil masyado tayong naging busy ngayong araw na ito."

He let out an awkward laugh, "Well, one thing is for sure, lagot na naman ako mamaya kapag nagkita kami."

"Well, ugh, parents." I rolled my eyes acting like a brat and he laughed at me. "But that's part of their job," I added, "I totally get it now, why Mom and Dad was protective of me in the first place, tapos binigyan ko sila ng sakit ng ulo, kung makikita ko ang sarili ko dati, babatukan ko ang sarili ko at sasabihin na makinig at sumunod, pero kung hindi rin naman dahil doon, hindi rin ako titibay kung sino ako ngayon."

He faces me with a warm smile.

"But like what you said, I hold no regrets, because I learned from it." I say and see him nodding at me.

"Bago kita ihatid, may huling lugar akong gustong puntahan," he checked his watch, "Pero masyado na atang gabi."

"No, I'm good. Nagpaalam din ako kay Mom na bibisitahin kita sa ospital, so wherever you want to go, I'm with you."

"Technically, you didn't tell your parents where you are, so--" his voice almost teased me.

"Ihahatid mo naman ako, hindi ba?" I raised an eyebrow as he shook his head after losing this argument with me.

Nagpunta kami sa may baywalk kung saan ko siya dati dinala para magyaya kumain ng isaw, pero dahil sa ayoko naman na pakainin siya ng street food kaya nag desisyon akong pakainin na lang siya ng goto sa may malapit na karinderya.

"Bakit hindi natin ito kinain dati, goto pala ang tawag dito?" hindi makapaniwala na sambit niya na parang batang natutuwa.

"Eh sa isaw ang gusto kong kainin dati eh, at dahil sa hindi ka pa pwede mag street food, goto at lugaw na lang muna tayo."

He smiles like a child, "Ito kasi ang dating kinakain namin ni Nanay noon." That statement just melts my heart, "Noong sila Mama na kasi ang kasama ko, hindi ko alam ang tawag sa soup na ito, lalo na at hindi naman solid food ito, tapos may flakes pa."

"Chicharon ang tawag diyan." I cut him and saw him smiling at me with his eyes filled with wonder.

Naglalakad lakad kami para bumaba ang mga kinain namin, "Buti na lang talaga at hindi ako masyadong nagkakakain bago kita makita, nagkasya kasi lahat ng pagkain sa tiyan ko, ayoko namang hindi ako prepared sa food trip, aba."

Tinawanan niya lang ako at niyakap mula sa likuran. I lock my hands with his as I save every memory we have today.

"Babalik ka na ba ng school?" I asked him suddenly as I faced him.

"Maybe." He says with mischief.

"I'm enrolled in your school as an Architect student." I tell him and see him surprised.

"Pero akala ko--"

"Well, maganda rin naman sa school na iyon, at hindi ko naman akalain na matalino rin pala ako para makapasa doon." Natatawang sambit ko at umiwas ng tingin, "Mataas kasi ang standards sa school na iyon, kaya noong una na-intimidate ako subukan." Nagulat na lang ako nang yakapin niya ako ulit ng mahigpit.

"That's great news," his voice almost falters but I feel his heart happy for me, "I'm proud of you."

I embraced him back, "Gagraduate ako doon." I uttered, almost like telling him a promise, as he put up a space between us, he kissed my hand, without breaking eye contact. "Kaya mauumay ka sa pangit kong mukha na bibisitahin ka sa building mo." I teased him and saw him smiling at me.

"I'm happy for you and I'm sure you'll make it through." He says putting up his faith on me, as I see his eyes melt meeting my gaze.

"I'll do my best." I tell him, "Kaya ikaw, dapat magbalik school ka na rin, isang semester na lang, tapos kukuha ka ng boards hindi ba?"

He let out a chuckle. "I will."

The environment is peaceful and serene as we face each other, I put his hand on my face as I kiss the palm of his hand and see how that alone holds an impact on him that he's trying to keep at bay.

"Are you holding back something?" I asked as I looked into his eyes.

"What makes you say that?" his voice is guarded.

"I'm not sure, maybe I'm just feeling that you're keeping yourself at bay?" nag-a-assume lang ba ako?

He closed his eyes and chuckled, "What's to hold back?" His voice is insecure.

I put my hand on his heart, "You know what I mean." He opens his eyes as he meets mine, I bit my lip finding the courage to tell him what he has to know, "Travis, I-"

He shuts my mouth for a sweet kiss. His kisses sent me where he hides every emotion he has for me. His kisses were delicate at first, sad, followed by painful kisses that made me feel his tears fall from my cheek. He anxiously held me in his arms. I feel his pain physically like he is kissing a rose filled with thorns, my soul reaches for him as I kiss him with all the love I have for him.

I want to tell him I love him. I want him to feel my heart as my heart invokes his name.

I love you Travis, I love you so much.

This kiss didn't hurt him, unlike earlier, I let him take control as I follow his phase.

This kiss is different from the previous kisses we had.

"This is the best kiss we had in public." He humored me as I laughed from that odd statement.

"Siraulo!" I hissed at him.

"I won't ever forget this." He says, kissing my knuckles, "Thank you for everything today, Maxene."

"Kung gusto mong makipag-date ulit sa akin, just call me." I say like how flirty girls flirt with boys and see him laughing at me.

My heart is melting from the sound of his laughter.

"It's late, I'll take you home." he says and I nod.

T R A V I S

Hinatid ko siya sa bahay nila hanggang sa tapat ng pintuan nila. "End of the line." she says, almost teasing me again.

"Did you have fun today?"

"Oo naman, buong araw din kitang kasama eh." she answers with a smile yet worry emerges from her eyes, "Babalik ka ba ng hospital ngayon o uuwi ka sa penthouse?"

"I think I'll go home," I tell her, "Malamang, hinihintay na ako ni Papa."

"Home as in, bahay kung nasaan ang Papa mo?" she asks again and I nod, "Siguro, mas malaki ang bahay ninyo sa bahay namin, ano? Tapos marami pang guards, tapos mga maids ninyo astigin." I chuckled. She's just adorable to watch.

"Aren't you stereotyping Papa from the movies you watched?"

"Oh, am I?" pilyo niyang banat.

"Mamimiss ko ito." Sambit ko na dapat sa utak ko lang sana.

"Anong mamimiss, edi gagambalain kita ulit bukas."

I held her hand as I kept my emotions at bay, "I need to go home Maxene and you need to rest. It's late." Paalala ko sa kanya at nakitang nag-pout siya.

"Fine, I'll see you again tomorrow."

"Sounds good." I say as I let go of her hand.

"Good night Travis." She says as I wave my hand seeing her get inside their house.

Sumakay na ako agad ng kotse at dumerecho sa airport. Binigay ko ang susi ko sa driver ko na ipinagkatiwala sa akin ni Papa, pero dahil sa gusto ko lang talagang magsolo ngayon, tinakasan ko siya.

Totoo naman na kaya ko na, pero ayaw lang ako pabayaan talaga ni Papa. Kahit  nakakaramdam pa rin ako ng pagkirot minsan, nakokontrol ko naman, nag-physical therapy din naman ako kahit pa paano sa oras na pinili ko, kaya sa tuwing dinadalaw ako ni Maxene, lagi akong tulog. Sinadya ko talaga iyon at ipinakiusap sa nagbabantay sa akin na lagyan ako ng pangpatulog para mas maging madali sa akin ang lahat lalo na at para gumaling ako para sa araw na ito.

Hindi ko lang talaga inaasahan na makikita ko si Maxene ngayon, kaya sa huling pagkakataon, pinabayaan ko ang sarili kong maging makasarili, dahil ito na ang huling beses na makakasama ko siya.

I hold no regrets anymore.

Nilapitan ko si Papa at nginitian, "Ayos na ang lahat at pinauna ko na ang kapatid mo at ang Nanay mo doon."

"Salamat po Papa."

"Nagawa mo naman na ba ang dapat mong gawin?" He asks me as if he's giving me a chance to change my mind. "Wala ka na bang unfinished business, dito?"

"Wala na po." I tell him with certainty.

He closes his eyes, shaking his head, "You reminded me so much of Terrence." He pats my shoulder and walks ahead of me.

Maybe he's right, para nga akong si Tatay dahil iiwan ko si Maxene ngayon, kahit na dati ang sinabi ko, hindi ko siya iiwan, pero wala na naman akong panghahawakan dahil matagal na kaming tapos.

Iyon na lang ang gusto kong paniwalaan para mas madaling umalis ng hindi nagpapaalam, isa pa, tanggap ko na naman na.

Our phase is over.

Ito rin naman ang pinangako ko sa kanya dati, I'll leave after I'm done and it's done.

This is goodbye, Maxene.