M A X E N E

I woke up feeling a warm gentle hand on my face. I smiled.

"Good morning, Mine." He says almost soothingly, kissing my temple and inhaling my scent.

Mukhang kanina pa siya gising ah?

Inangat ko ang sarili ko at inilapit ang mukha ko sa kanya.

I smiled as I meet his dark brown eyes and for a while it feels like our soul is mirroring each another once again.

My eyes wander, touching his face.

I push myself towards him and kiss him tenderly. I just love kissing him in the morning like this.

I adjusted myself as I deepened the kiss tracing my fingers to his neck, to his shoulder and I felt his hand behind my neck as he sync with me.

Hmmm, he likes what I'm doing. I smiled with a mischievous thought in mind.

Gradually, I pull myself up until I am sitting on top of him, embracing him, not breaking our kiss and pressing myself towards him.

My hand feels his heartbeat as the tension between us accelerates.

I'm on the right track.

I release a breath next to his neck. I nibbled his ear teasing him. I hear him release that soft vulnerable voice. I smiled kissing his neck, until my lips found his again.

"Hey," he uttered with a soft voice between our kisses as he takes control of the building rhythm between us, "I have my morning class today." He reminded me with a friendly smile and a regretful voice calming himself down.

"Wala ka bang schedule ngayon sa work?" His hand traces my face like a soft feather on my skin.

Sa totoo lang ayokong magpakita sa trabaho ngayon.

Hindi ko alam, ayokong umalis sa tabi niya ngayong araw na ito. Mas gugustuhin ko na lang na sumama kay Travis ngayong araw na ito kahit saan pa niya gusto pumunta.

I just don't want him out of my sight.

Isiniksik ko ang mukha ko sa leeg niya at naramdaman lang na hinahaplos niya ang batok ko.

His breathing is slowing down now.

Time for plan B.

"Umabsent ka na lang kaya ngayon?" I say next to his ear almost teasing him. "Dali, minsan lang naman." I look at him with a cheeky smile poking his nose.

"Let's just go somewhere and have fun today, what you think?" taas baba ang kilay kong kinukumbinsi siya habang kinikiliti siya, kahit hindi naman siya nakikiliti.

But it seems like I have failed to convince him, seeing the look of his face, he is obviously protesting the idea by shaking his head from what I just suggested.

Usually, I wouldn't want him to drop his responsibilities in school because of me... Because of my needs... My demands... My--

I just embarrassed myself in front of him again.

"Maxene..." That's his voice reprimanding me with precaution. He sighs by the time I look at him with guilt.

I may have disappointed him by my genuine reaction.

No matter how I put up a smiling facade in front of him, he just knows how to read my thoughts right away.

"I'm sorry." I told him submissively as I casually adjusted myself away from him.

I sit down properly covering myself up with his blanket. I giggled like an innocent child messing with my hair so I could cover my awkward face.

"Ikaw naman, joke, joke lang yun." I tell him with a half smile as I start picking up the clothes I left on the floor last night so I could dress myself up.

After last night, I don't know how to sort my feelings out. She's just around the corner and her feelings for him is something I couldn't ignore.

She wants him back and she loves him, that's clear as day.

Kahit pa sabihin ni Travis na wala na siyang feelings kay Monique, hindi pa rin ako mapalagay.

Oo, siguro nga nagpapakatanga na ako, na lahat talaga gagawin ko huwag lang siya tumingin sa iba.

Lalong lalo na sa first love niya.

I know I have to do better.

I have to be better than her.

"Anyway, sa condo na lang ako maliligo, wala rin naman akong extrang damit dito eh." I say cheerfully, "I'll just cook you some breakfast, baka ma-late ka kasi sa school, anong oras na rin, oh." I say looking at the clock right next to his bedside.

He stands up and pulls me close, caging me in his arms.

"I won't see her in school, if that's what you're worried about Maxene... In fact it is impossible for us to meet, malaki ang University alam mo naman iyon, isa pa, magkaiba kami ng building." There's uncertainty in his voice as he contains his frustration from me. He might be thinking about my never ending insecurity towards that one girl that he loved once upon a time.

"Max, please..." he kisses my shoulder, "Trust me." He says those words as if he is giving me his security.

Bigla kong naalala yung panahon na mas pinili niyang kimkimin ang sama ng loob niya sa akin dahil sa sobrang napapalapit ako sa kaibigan niya.

Mas inunawa niya ako, kahit pa nasasaktan ko siya ng hindi ko napapansin, samantalang ako, lahat ng sabihin o gawin ko, kahit pa itanggi ko ang totoo kong nararamdaman sa harapan niya, hindi na niya kailangan pang itanong sa akin kung nasama na ang loob ko sa kanya.

Totoo nga yung sinabi niya, mas selosa nga ako sa amin. Aaminin ko na lang talaga ang factor na iyon.

Ang akin kasi, akin lang dapat.

I forced out a smile and faced him.

"I do." I did my best to sound normal around him, as I touched his face. He took my hand and kissed it in front of me without breaking eye contact. In his eyes, all I see is me. I blinked. "I love you Travis."

"I love you." He uttered like a song next to my face, inhaling my scent again, "Always, Mine."

I cooked him breakfast as promised and after we eat together, hinatid niya ako sa condo kaya lang hanggang labas lang ng building niya ako naihatid ng tingin dahil male-late na siya sa school.

Kinawayan ko siya nang makaalis na siya sa area at agad na tumungo sa elevator.

Mabuti naman at kaagad din nagbukas ito at pumasok ako sa loob, kaya lang sa hindi inaasahan, bigla na lang ulit nanikip ang dibdib ko, napahawak ako sa railings habang kinakalma ko ang sarili ko.

Nang makarating ako sa floor ko, agad akong dumerecho sa unit ko pero dahil sa namamanhid ang mga kamay ko, sinubukan kong kumatok at inaasahan na pagbubuksan ako ni Natasha ng pinto.

"Miss Maxene," Nag-aalala niyang bungad sa akin pero bago pa man ako makapagsalita, nabingi ako, lumabo ang paningin ko at agad na dumilim ang lahat sa paligid ko.

Nagising na lang ako sa isang puting kwarto at naka-oxygen mask ako.

"Miss Maxene, ayos na po ba kayo?" nag-aalalang bati sa akin ni Natasha. Umayos ako ng upo pero inalalayan niya ako. Inalis ko yung oxygen mask ko. Hindi naman din ako naka dextrose.

"What happened?" tanong ko sa kanya at agad naman pumasok ang doktor ko.

"How are you feeling Maxene?" Bati niya sa akin.

Nasa... nasa ospital ako?

Tiningnan ko ka agad si Natasha at tinanong, "May tinawagan ka ba Nat?"

Tinawagan niya kaya si Mom, si Dad... or worse si Travis...

"Wala po, hinintay ko muna kayo magising bago ko gawin iyon, may gusto po ba kayong tawagan ko?" Tanong niya sa akin. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag at umiling na lang bilang tugon sa tanong niya.

"Calm down, Maxene." Payo ng doktor ko, "Masama sa iyo ang masyadong nastrestress. Lalo na sa kundisyon mo ngayon."

"Lalabas na po muna ako at kukuha ng maiinom ninyo Miss Maxene." Mapagkumbabang paalam sa akin ni Natasha at lumabas na ng kwarto ko.

Binalikan ko ng tingin at nginitian ko ang doctor ko, "Hello po ulit, Doc."

Pero imbis na ngitian niya ako, pinaalalahanan niya ako sa isang bagay na nakalimutan ko para maayos ko ang sarili ko, "It's been three months, Maxene."

"I just need more time, Doc." I tell her humbly and again, I hear her never ending advice regarding the issues and consequences of my health if I choose a path that is risky for me in the long run.

I know she's just worried about me, every doctor wants what's better for their patient anyway. I totally get that.

But, to be honest, I'm at the point of no return already.

If anything happens, I know I'll be okay.

Ika nga ng sinabi niya noon, hahanap kami ng ibang options.

I know that I just have to say those words and rely on him.

Hindi na rin kami nagtagal sa ospital at agad din naman akong na-discharge dahil hindi naman ganun kalala ang nangyari sa akin.

Ang diagnosis pa sa akin ay nagkaroon ako ng anxiety attack. Sadyang nag-alala lang talaga si Natasha sa akin kaya hindi siya nagdalawang isip na dalhin ako sa ospital kanina.

Nagtext na rin ako kay Bridgette, at nag-sorry dahil hindi ako nakapasok kanina, nag dahilan na lang ako na masama ang pakiramdam ko, kahit na ang totoo niyan ay, ayoko na may makakita sa 'fresh from the hospital' kong mukha.

Pagkauwi namin ng condo, agad naman niya akong inasikaso ng maid ko, "I'm okay Nat, buong araw din tayong nasa labas."

"Kung may kailangan po kayo, sabihin niyo lang po, ha?"

"Malaking utang na loob na yung hindi mo tinawagan sila Mom at Dad, ayoko naman ding mag-alala sila sa akin... lalo na si Travis." I uttered the last words almost in a whisper.

Muli niya akong nilapitan at hinawakan sa kamay, "Miss Maxene, aalalay po ako sa inyo kahit anong mangyari." Her words are like a promise as she looks at me like her old friend.

"Is it me, o may bago sayo?" I asked, almost teasing her. Just to lighten up the mood. Kanina pa masyadong serious ang mood sa pagitan naming dalawa.

"Wala naman po." Bigla siyang umiwas ng tingin na para bang nahihiya siya sa harapan ko.

"Naalala ko lang po kasi yung dati." Pag-amin niya sa akin at muli niya akong binalikan ng tingin. "Matagal na niyo akong maid, pero parang nakakatandang kapatid ang turing nyo sa akin. Sa totoo lang po, napalapit na ang loob ko sa inyo, sadyang ayoko lang na mas lalo kayong paghigpitan ni Madam kaya dumidistansya ako sa inyo," she paused taking a deep breath, "Pero nang makita ko ang nangyari sa inyo kanina, sobra po akong natakot para sa inyo."

Hinawakan niya ng mahigpit ang kamay ko, "Pakiusap Miss Maxene, huwag ninyong pababayaan ang kalusugan ninyo, hangga't makakaya ko, pabayaan ninyong alagaan ko kayo, hindi lang dahil sa trabaho ko ito bilang maid ninyo, kundi dahil sa totoo akong nagmamalasakit sa inyo."

I was taken aback with her honesty and I smiled at her wholeheartedly.

The cold front of Natasha starts to warm up around me.

Sa totoo lang naman, matagal ko na nararamdaman na naglo-loosen up na siya sa akin, kaya lang tulad nga ng sinabi niya, hindi pwedeng makita at malaman ni mom na may malapit sa amin na maid, dahil iniiwasan niyang maging maluwag sa amin ang mga maid namin sa mansion.

Buti nga at laging naka-alalay sa akin si Natasha simula pa lang dati, lalo na yung mga panahon na tumatakas ako at palihim na nakikipagkita kay Kenzo.

Pero, sa totoo lang, iba pa rin pala talaga kapag narinig mo mula sa bibig ng isang tao ang totoong saloobin niya.

I couldn't help but to feel flattered about it.

"Salamat Ate Nat." Nagulat siya sa mga salitang binitawan ko na para bang hindi siya sanay. "Oops, bawal umangal." I put up an index finger in front of her and for the first time, I see her genuine bashful smile.

"Dito mo lang po ako pwedeng tawaging Ate, ha?" Natatawang sambit niya na siyang tinanguhan ko na lang na parang bata.

"I'm sure, my lady will also do the same for you." she said almost a whisper.

"Ha, ano ulit iyon?" I tilted my head beside, is it me or is her English sounds almost foreign.

Umiling siya, "Po?" Biglang nagbago ang boses niya na parang imagination ko lang yung narinig ko kanina.

Umiling ako. Imagination ko nga lang iyon. Baka gutom na nga ako.

"Ipaghahanda ko na po kayo ng hapunan, hindi rin kayo nakakain buong araw ng maayos." It's like she just read my mind. She smiled at me and went straight into the kitchen and prepare us some dinner.

I took a deep sigh, my doctor is right, hindi ko kailangan ng stress ngayon ang dapat kong gawin ay ang alagaan ang sarili ko.

I open up my phone and see updates from him: from the moment he arrived at school, during his lunch break, some of school's activity, his so called quality time with the boys, up until his dismissal.

I smiled with pride. No Monique update.

Tama nga siguro na hindi sila nagkikita kahit na nasa iisa sila ng school. Malaki naman ang University nila, nakapunta na rin naman ako doon, tapos depende pa ang schedule ng classes nila... so maliit ang chances na magkita nga sila sa school.

Well kung magkita naman sila, for sure, sasabihin naman iyon ni Travis sa akin. I mean, this is what we've been doing since the beginning, kapag hindi kami magkasama. Halos lahat naman sinasabi niya sa akin.

I shouldn't worry too much about Monique being in the same school as him.

He won't cheat on me. I know he wouldn't.

He loves me. I am his fiance.

Those are solid facts and those facts matter.

I shouldn't let my insecurities overrun me like what happened last night and some events in the past.

It'll be forever a fact that she is a part of his past and I just have to accept that one truth as how he accepted mine.

I sent him a reply telling him everything of what happened today, but then, instead of telling him about my mild attack earlier this morning, I lied telling him that I went to work. I wouldn't want him to worry anyway.

Sakto at hinahanda na ni Natasha ang hapunan namin.

Me: Natasha is cooking us dinner. Anong oras ka dadaan? ^3^

TJ: I'm sorry, I can't come today. I'm with the boys.

A firm line forms at my lips.

I sigh and shrugged, I know that he needs to spend some time with them too, nasabi na rin naman iyon ni Pierre sa akin dati.

Ayoko naman tanggalan siya ng social life.

Me: It's okay. Have fun, huwag ka lang papaka gutom, ha?

TJ: You know I won't. I wouldn't want to worry you. I love you. xx

A smile forms at my lips, pareho kami ng iniisip. Kaya ikaw Maxene, alagaan mo ang sarili mo.

Me: I love you mine. Always xxx <3

He didn't reply after that, baka naging busy na siya kasama ng tatlong ungas.

I guess I'm good with this arrangement.

This is just temporary anyway. Hindi rin naman magtatagal at magsasama rin naman kami.

Kung tutuusin, isang taon na lang ang hinihintay namin, kasi saktong makakapagtapos na siya ng Law, plus after my surgery aayusin na namin yung prenup namin, as Mom's demand.

Nang tawagin na ako ni Natasha, agad ko siyang nilapitan. Sinabi ko rin na hindi makakasabay si Travis sa amin ng hapunan.

Sa totoo lang, wala namang kaso sa kanya kung sumabay si Travis sa amin o hindi, but I got an odd feeling that she's keeping a certain distance from him, minsan ay naabutan ko si Travis na kung makapag bilin kay Natasha ay dapat masunod yung mga inuutos niya sa maid ko.

Usually Natasha only answers to Mom, pero hindi ko alam kung ano na naman ang ginawa ni Hayes para pati yung maid ko, ay talaga namang nakabantay at naka-alalay sa akin.

After we ate, I let Natasha clean the dishes.

I drank my medicine and some warm milk and went to my bedroom.

Bago ko patayin yung ilaw ko, nakita ko yung minarkahan ko sa kalendaryo ko na naka thumbtacks sa cabinet ko.

November 20.

It's almost near.

I sighed as I grabbed my DSLR inside my cabinet. I grinned with an idea in my mind.

Kinuha ko na rin sa drawer ko yung bagay na minsan kong itinapon sa banyo. Nakaplastic rin naman iyon para precise pa rin yung evidence na hindi ko natanggap noong una.

To be honest, I was downhearted when I saw this little thing turn my life around, but then again, remembering Stephanie's advice and the answer he gave me when I played that one specific scenario in his mind, is a fact that I should consider.

We are a team in this.

I took a deep sigh as I hit the record button.

I record everything I have to tell him, because I know I can't admit this to him in person. Kasi kahit na anong gawin ko, wala akong sapat na lakas ng loob aminin sa kanya ito kapag kaharap ko na siya.

After I'm done I'll have this edited or maybe I'll let this be raw, then I'll just put it in a CD, the more the authentic, the more na magugustuhan niya.

I might vlog everything from this day forward because after a week and a half, birthday na niya. Siguro sapat na yung ilang araw na paghahanda ko, hindi ba?

Positive lang Max, kapag happy ka, edi happy rin siya.

I look myself at the mirror. What they say is true, hangga't hindi ka naamin, hindi rin siya mag papakita.

Marunong ka ring makisama ah?

I couldn't help but smile as I embraced myself.

Don't worry Max, just hang on there.

Konting tiis pa.

Malapit na.

T R A V I S

Nitong nakaraang linggo, hindi ako masyado nakaka dalaw kay Maxene, pwera na lang tuwing weekends, dahil hindi pwedeng hindi ako magpapakita sa kanya, ayoko namang mag-alala na naman siya lalo na at nalaman niyang iisa kami ni Monique ng school na pinapasukan.

Ayokong magulo kami.

Plus, hindi ko pa pala nasasabi sa kanya yung nangyari noon kay Laurenz, kaya balik ako sa dati na sumasama sa grupo kahit saan sila magyaya.

I still need to keep them close.

But other than that fact, I also needed to catch up with my academics, especially since it is our finals already.

Tapos, nagkaroon pa kami ng field trip noong nakaraan at gumawa pa ako ng report sa mga natutunan namin sa field trip na iyon.

Lahat naman ng school activities ko, alam ni Maxene and I'm really thankful that she's keeping an open mind.

Ayaw na ayaw din naman niyang pinapabayaan ko ang studies ko.

Babawi na lang ako sa kanya sa Christmas break. Konting tiis na lang.

Kuhaan narin ng grades ngayon kaya nakapila na ako sa registrar kahit na sila Joshua at Pierre ay dumaretcho na mismo sa registrar's office para personal na kunin doon yung grade slip nila.

Hindi na ako magdadalawang isip na may milagrong naganap na naman sa pagitan nila.

"Dude, nakuha mo na yung grade slip mo?" Tanong sa akin ni Gerard na kakatapos lang sa pila, mukhang kabado siya ah, ni hindi niya masilip yung grade slip niya.

"Baby!" Si Edielyn, "Pasok pa rin ako sa Dean's List!"

"Ay, wow, congrats Baby!" Kabadong nakangting bati ni Gerard sa girlfriend.

"Eh ikaw, anong grade mo?"

"Uhmmm...ano..." Napakamot siya sa ulo, "Hindi naman ako dean's lister, kaya ayos lang."

Edielyn pouts and gets his grade slip. Upon checking, a firm line forms on her lips, mukhang tabingi ang grades ni Ge, ah?

"Failed ba?" Kabadong tanong ni Gerard sa kanya.

"Nah, you passed." She teases him with a smile and handed his grade slip, "Sabi naman sayo kaya mo makakuha ng uno eh."

"Congrats dude." Nakangiting bati ko sa kanya.

"U-uno?" Hindi makapaniwalang sambit ni Gerard na para bang duda siya sa sarili niya. Nang tingnan niya yung gradeslip niya, halos mangiyak siya sa tuwa, "Anak ng tokwa! Nagawa ko to? Totoo nga ang milagro baby! Ha! 1.75 nga! Nadaan sa dasal!"

"At sa tiyaga." Edielyn winks at him teasingly. Sa sobrang saya ni Gerard napayakap siya sa girlfriend niya na para bang sila lang ang may sariling mundo.

Napailing na lang ako at napansin na ako na ang kasunod sa pila.

Kinuha ko yung grade slip ko at hindi ko mapigilan na ngumiti.

Salamat sa mga catch up lessons ko sa Majors ko.

Salamat kay Mrs. Santiago!

I'll definitely show this to her this weekend. Teka, bukas na nga pala iyon, ang bilis nga naman ng panahon.

I bit my lip to hide my excitement. Weekends will be worth it.

"Aba, todo ang ngiti natin ah?" Bati sa akin ni Gerard, "Pasado ka rin bro?"

"Well." Pagmamalaki ko at ipinagkita sa kanya yung overall average grade ko na may malawak na ngiti.

Edielyn's brows raised with fascination as she congratulated me.

"Aba hanep!" Pabirong tulak sa akin ni Gerard, "Ikaw na talaga Travis Hayes!"

I chuckled and smirked, messing his hair.

"This causes for a celebration then!" Sambit ni Pierre na kakalapit lang sa amin.

I look at him like a winner. Everything is according to plan.

Masyado kasi niya akong minamaliit, hindi porket mahirap ang course, idadaan na lang lagi sa pulitika ang lahat para lang makapasa.

"Ako, okay na ako sa dos." Halos walang interes na sambit ni Josh. "Pero congrats sa inyo bros!"

"Dahil diyan, tara sa bar!" Natutuwang anunsyo ni Gerard na hawak ang kamay ni Edielyn, "My treat!"

"Sige ba. Sabi mo yan Ge ah!" Tinanguhan lang ni Josh si Gerard.

"Available ka naman ba Travis?" Tanong sa akin ni Pierre.

"Oo naman, count me in." I answered him as he gave me a proud smile.

"Yayain mo na rin si Maxene, the more the merrier." Sambit ni Gerard, "Aba, minsan lang ako manlibre, kaya lubos lubusin niyo na."

"I'll text her." I answered him.

"O siya, kita kits na lang sa bar ni Ge." Paalala ni Josh at dumarecho na kami sa kanya kanya naming kotse.

I held my phone and texted Maxene.

Travis: Mine, free ka ba ngayon? Nagyaya sila Gerard sa bar. :D

Maxene: Uhmmm, no, I'm with Martin, Sarah and Stephanie, they're helping me with something. I'll drop by tomorrow. Balak kasi nilang mag-overnight dito sa condo.

Sayang naman.

Travis: Okay, see you tomorrow then. Have fun with the gang. ;)

Maxene: Mukhang masaya ka ngayon ah, anong meron? ^^,

Masyado ba akong halata?

Travis: I just recieved a good news. I'll tell you everything tomorrow.

Maxene: Eh bakit hindi pa ngayon, daya! =3=

I chuckled, cute emoji.

Travis: Sana ngayon, eh hindi ka available, I want to see your reaction. ;)

Maxene: Ano ba yan, intriga ako. Anyway, sige basta bukas dadaan ako sa penthouse, let's talk about this tomorrow...

Odd. No emoji, o nasanay lang ako na kahit sa text expressive siya.

Travis: ...?

Maxene: Nabasa mo ang ibig sabihin noon? 0_0 Aba naman talaga!

So tama nga yung instinct ko? Pasaway talaga Max.

Travis: Then, tell me.

Maxene: Uhmmm, I also have some news... Pero bukas na ko na rin sasabihin sayo. -u-

Kainis, hindi ko alam kung pinagtitripan na naman niya ako dahil lang sa hindi ko masabi sa kanya yung good news na nakuha ko sa school ngayon.

Travis: Fine, tomorrow then. No alcohols ha. -_-

Maxene: Anong alcohol, porket kasama ang barkada, iinom ako agad? Ikaw nga mag-babar kayo. Besides, I can't drink now. XP

Huwag nga niya ako niloloko.

Travis: The last time your friends have an overnight, nag-inom kayo, hindi ba? =_=

Maxene: Dati yun, eh broken si Stephanie noon eh, dinamayan lang namin ni Sarah, plus wala si Martin noon! >:P

Travis: Kahit na, mamaya kung ano na naman ang mangyari sayo. Kung nagbabalak kang uminom tatlong shots lang. Tsk!

Maxene: Ang cute lang ng tatlong shots, ano ako batang paslit? >w<

Pinagtitripan nga niya ako.

Travis: Don't be stubborn. I'm warning you.

Maxene: Aba, ngayon bossy mode na ah. XP Don't worry, there are no drinks involved. We're just making something... ah basta, I'll tell you tomorrow. Don't miss me much. XOXO

Travis: Fine, fine, just keep me posted, okay? x

Maxene: Will do, don't worry. I love you Mine. <3

A smile immediately forms at my face.

Travis: I love you too, Mine.

Tulad ng napag-usapan ng barkada, derecho kaming nagtungo sa bar ni Gerard at nag-celebrate.

Tulad ng nakasanayan, si Josh, magkabilaan ang babae, ganun din naman si Pierre.

Si Gerard naman si Edielyn lang ang kasama niya, kung sana nandito rin si Max, edi sana hindi ko nagsosolo ngayon.

May pinapalapit man si Joshua pero nagpapaka-polite lang ako. Ayoko namang masabihan akong rude.

Simple lang naman ang so-called celebration namin, mahuli matibay.

Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong maging proud dahil nga mataas ang tolerance ko sa alcohol sanhi siguro na maaga akong namulat dito dahil na rin sa impluwensya ni Papa sa akin, pero syempre, ayoko pa rin na abusuhin dahil kailangan ko pang umuwi ng matino.

Mag mamaneho pa ako pauwi.

Si Joshua halatang may tama na, si Gerard, inaalalayan si Edielyn na tumba na rin.

"Last one." I say as I take the last shot, but with my surprise, Pierre handed me another drink.

"Take this and you can go." Mapaglaro niyang anyaya, para matapos na lang, kinuha ko na yung huling baso at ininom ito ng derecho.

Nakita ko naman na malawak niya akong nginitian.

"Well, I gotta go." I tell him. I also bid Gerard and Joshua, pero sadyang malakas ang tama nila kaya hindi na nila ako napansin na umalis sa booth namin.

Paglabas ko ng bar agad akong dumerecho sa parking lot para buksan ang kotse ko, kaya lang sa hindi inaasahan, nakaramdam ako ng hilo na parang nabaligtad ang sikmura ko, pero hindi naman ako nasusuka.

Hilo, siguro oo.

Takte! Makakauwi pa ba ako ng maayos nito?

Binuksan ko yung kotse at sumakay ako. Sumandal muna ako saglit at pumikit.

Tangina totoo ba ito? Sa tala ng buhay ko, ngayon lang umakyat sa ulo ko yung tama ng alcohol, punyeta!

Everything starts to get blurry, but I have to make one last phone call to get myself outta here.

Stay conscious.

I dialed Laurenz's number.

Ang sakit na ng ulo ko, tangina!

"Bakit?" Boses bagong gising ata 'tong utol ko.

"Hey, Bro..." Ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko, hindi ko na nakilala ang sarili kong boses. At the same time parang umiikot ang paligid ko.

"The fuck, lasing ka ba?" Hindi ko mawari kung anong tono ng boses niya, kung nagsusuplado ba siya o nag-aalala siya. Tangina, hindi ako makapag-isip ng maayos.

Hindi ko kayang labanan ang antok ko.

Narinig kong nagsalita pa ulit si Laurenz pero hindi ko na iyon naintindihan dahil pakiramdam ko lumalayo ang boses niya sa tenga ko kasabay noon ay ang pagpikit ng mga mata ko, hanggang sa tuluyan na akong nakatulog.

"Hey." A familiar gentle voice is calling me, I tried opening my eyes but everything is still blurry, yet by the scent of perfume... I know it's her... my Maxene.

"I love you..." Her alluring voice uttered my favorite words like a soft song as I took her sweet lips.

"Always, mine." I tell her with a smile as I touch her face. "I love you so much Maxene..."

Her smile seems to fade as the light of her face shifts into darkness.

Nagising ako sa sikat ng araw.

Hinawakan ko ang ulo ko at naramdaman ko na andoon pa rin ang bigat nito.

Tangina, ito ba ang nararamdaman ni Max kapag nalalasing siya?

Damn this hangover!

I adjusted my eyes as I saw the familiar environment around me.

Nakauwi ako? Tama ba ako ng nakikita?

I took a deep breath and felt someone was sleeping right next to me. I smiled, and turned to face her, so that wasn't a dream then.

Yet with my surprise, it wasn't the same person I saw in my dream last night.

What is this?

Tiningnan ko ang sarili ko at pilit na binabalikan ang nangyari bago ako magising sa sarili kong kwarto.

Wala akong maaalala!

I checked myself and shut my eyes in bitterness.

What have I done?

Hindi ito panaginip. Isa itong bangungot.

Paanong?

Hinanap ko ang cellphone ko pero kahit saan hindi ko iyon makita, tangina!

Nasaan ang cellphone ko? Anong oras na ba?

I took a peek at the clock beside my bedside.

SHIT!

I stood up and got myself some clothes.

Inalog ko siya at agad rin naman siyang nagising, "Monique, gumising ka na."

"Oh hey, good morning." She sits up wearing nothing on top, I look away.

"You have to leave, now." I say almost with precaution as she looks at me as if I just offended her.

"But Travis--"

"Moe, whatever happened, it is a mistake." I tell her avoiding her gaze, "This shouldn't happen," I tell her controlling my temper as I brush my hair in frustration, "Paano ako nakauwi, anong nangyari at bakit ka nandito?"

What the fuck happened?

There are a series of questions in my mind that don't fit with the situation in front of me in this goddamn moment.

It doesn't make sense.

"Bakit sa tono ng boses mo parang hindi mo alam?" Her voice almost sounds insulted. "Travis, we had a great time last night."

"No, that's impossible." I shake my head.

Hindi ako nalalasing, hindi totoo yung sinasabi nilang kapag nakainom ka hindi mo alam ang ginagawa mo, pero tangina talaga!

Bakit wala akong maalala?!

"You told me, you love me, na ako pa rin." She says as I shake my head. "Travis."

Pakiramdam ko sasabog ako. Pakiramdam ko masisiraan ako ng bait.

"You have to leave, now Monique. Get dressed and leave." I told her before I could snap in front of her. "I'll give you five minutes." I head out my room still trying to figure things out.

I start to back track everything.

What the hell happened before I fucking pass out?

Tangina nasaan ang cellphone ko?

Ang huling naaalala ko ay ang boses ni Laurenz.

Oo tinawagan ko siya, tangina nasaan na ba ang cellphone ko?

"Hey Hayes!" Para akong binuhusan ng malamig tubig nang marinig ko ang boses niya. "I told you not to miss me, pero maaga kang nagising--"

Agad ko siyang nilapitan at niyakap ng mahigpit. Hindi na siya nakapagsalita at hindi rin niya ako agad nayakap dahil sa mga dala-dala niya.

"Hala siya, namiss mo nga ako?" Her voice almost teased me. She kisses my cheeks, "Wait lang ah, ilagay ko lang ito sa loob ng fridge." Nagtungo siya sa kitchen habang nakasunod ako sa kanya.

"A-anong meron?" Tanong ko sa kanya. I have to divert her attention, habang nag-iisip ng paraan kung paano ako makaka lusot sa sitwasyon na ito.

Bago niya malaman na nasa loob ng kwarto si Monique.

She doesn't need to know.

"You, silly, birthday mo ngayon ah?" Muli niya akong niyakap at hinalikan sa labi.

"Ha?"

She let out a small chuckle, "Parang wala ka sa sarili." She pouted, "Don't tell me you forgot your own birthday?" She smiles at me tilting her head beside.

I still can't process what's going on at this very moment. My instinct just tells me to take her and run away from here.

"Are you okay?" She starts to ask questions as my brain starts to malfunction. "Did you wake up from a bad dream again?" She asks with worry in her voice.

I gulped, "Mag breakfast na lang tayo sa labas, tara." Pagyaya ko sa kanya, baka kapag nakaalis na kami, umalis na rin kaagad si Monique.

"Okay, sakto, I may want some espresso and some buffalo wings." She winks.

"That's a weird combination for a breakfast." I chuckled awkwardly, taking her hand as we headed towards the door.

"Well, sabi ng doctor normal lang naman iyon, lalo na ngayon." She uttered bashfully looking at me like a child.

"Wait... what do you mean by that?" I look at her confused.

I see her biting her lip playfully as if she's giving me a hint from a riddle she wants me to solve. Her face is blushing as I see light in her eyes.

"Travis..." that voice isn't Maxene's. Hearing that voice literally causes my heart to fill nothing but horror.

She just came out of my bedroom.

My eyes never left Maxene as I saw how the color of her face started to become pale. All of my defenses left me.

The light in her eyes is gone. I couldn't control my breathing.

Her smile fades in a blink of an eye. My throat went dry.

Nabitawan niya ang paper bag na hawak hawak niya sa likuran niya at malamig na hinarap ako.

"Max---"

Sa isang iglap, nabingi ako at isang malakas na sampal ang sumalubong sa mukha ko.

I faced her shaking my head as I saw how she dismissed me by closing her eyes and turning her back at me. 

No...

She starts to walk away from me, but I can't let her. I reach out her hand but with force she pulls her hand away from me.

Sa sobrang pag pupumiglas niya naputol ang red bracelet naming dalawa.

Hindi ako makahinga ng maayos. Pakiramdam ko pinupunit unti-unti ang puso ko. Nanghihina ang buong sistema ko.

"DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING TOUCH ME!" She shouts on top of her lungs. Her voice is angry. She's glaring at me. She's cursing me in her mind. She despises me.

She headed out the door impaling my heart with daggers.

I can't allow this!

No!

With all the strength I have left, I run towards her. I was able to catch up with her but with her impatience, she wasn't able to wait for the elevator.

Sa fire exit niyang naisipang bumaba.

"Maxene, please..." Halos umecho ang boses ko sa buong fire exit.

Nagmamadali siyang bumaba para lang iwasan ako, pero sa bilis ng pangyayari, nakita ko na lang kung paano siya mawalan ng balanse at nalaglag sa hagdan.

Agad ko siyang nilapitan pero agad rin siyang nawalan ng malay. Binuhat ko siya ngunit nagulat ako nang may tumulong mainit na pulang likido sa braso ko.

Ano ito...

Dugo?