M A X E N E

FINALLY, I'm in my very own condo unit. Gradually I'm getting the independence that I want, maybe I am doing something right this time. "Where do you want this?" kunot noo na tanong sa akin ni Travis. Pinadala ko kasi sa kanya ang lahat ng groceries ko.

"Ilagay mo na lang sa may kitchen." nakangiting ani ko habang nililibot ng mga mata ko ang itsura ng unit ko. Kung ikukumpara sa penthouse ni Travis, di hamak naman na mas malaki iyon kaysa sa unit ko. But then, at least, I can be my very own person here. No boundaries, no rules, just me and my very own personal space. Sinilip ko si Travis at ni-literal niya ang sinabi ko. Talagang nilagay niya lang yung mga pinamili ko sa kitchen table. Nilapitan ko siya at tinaasan ng kilay, "Literally eh noh?" Hampasin ko kaya siya. Kainis!

"Madali akong kausap." pilosopong sagot niya, "Pinagbuhat mo na nga ako, tapos ako pa ang mag-aayos niyan," he scoffs, "Ano ka sinuswerte?"

"At least ilagay mo yung fresh sa fridge hindi ba?" I told him but he rolls his eyes at me, "Huwag na nga, ako na lang. Thank you na lang ulit." ayan ah, nagpasalamat ako sa kanya. Mabait kasi akong tao. Ewan ko lang dito, minsan paiba iba rin ng mood. Tsk! Para naman kasing ang laking abala ko sa kanya. Nawala rin agad katahimikan sa paligid namin nang marinig kong kumakalam ang tiyan niya. Napatingin ako sa kanya ng bahagya. But then as usual, he's perfectly good at hiding his emotions very well, "Gutom ka?" I teasingly asked him with a friendly smile.

"Kung wala ka ng kailangan aalis na ako." malamig niyang sagot sa akin. Dakilang mapagpanggap. Kanina niyayaya ko siya kumain pero napakaselan ng taong ito. Ayaw niya sa street food, kesho madumi daw. Ang arte! Yung itsura niya kanina noong namalengke kami, todo ang pagtitimpi niya sa tuwing may nakakasalubong siyang kargador na hindi maiwasang madali siya. Tapos noong matalsikan siya ng tubig galing sa fish section, kitang kita kung gaano siya naiinis pero kinikimkim niya lang. He even suggested na sa supermarket na lang kami mamalengke para mas maluwag ang lugar, pero gustong gusto ko talaga ang nakikitang naiinis siya. I'm even wondering, kailan sasabog si Travis sa inis?

"I'll cook you something, a simple token for your help today." sabi ko sa kanya at inabutan siya ng chocolate, "Take this muna, mamaya mahilo ka pa."

"I don't eat sweets Maxene." he says with a poker face. Seriously, ano pa ba ang hindi niya gusto kainin?

"Well you need some sugar at least, masamang nalilipasan ng gutom." paaalala ko sa kanya.

"And who's fault was it?" tinaasan niya ako ng kilay, sinisisi ba niya ako? "We should have bought these in the supermarket, not in some wet dirty market."

"Kalalaki mong tao pero ang arte mo," I hissed and see him rolling his eyes at me again, "Alam mo, mas masaya mamalengke sa palengke. Tapos nakakatawad pa ako."

"Natawad ka pa niyan, eh afford mo naman bumili." inis niyang sambit. Minsan hambog din 'tong si Travis eh.

"Afford ko nga, pero syempre kailangan maging matipid din ako 'no!" iyon kasi ang nakasanayan ko noong si Kenzo pa ang kasama ko, he taught me so much about how I spend my money and how I save it. Hindi naman habang buhay mayaman ako. To be honest, I saved enough money para sana kapag dumating ang araw na yayayain niya ako makipagtanan, handa na ako. Pero wala eh. Poof, that happily ever after is gone. Nginitian ko si Travis nang mapansin ko na inoobserbahan na naman niya ako. I couldn't allow him to see my thoughts, not this time. "Sit, I'll cook something for you." I told him and I'm pleased that he obeyed.

"I might want some coffee." he humbly requested.

"Wala pang laman ang tiyan mo, kape agad?" inilabas ko ang chicken fillet at nagsimulang hiwain iyon into strips, maybe I'll make some chicken ramen. Yup, that'll do. Kinuha ko na rin ang green onions and garlic. Ginisa ko muna iyon dahil sa pagkakaalala ko mas masarap daw ang pagkain kapag ginigisa muna. As what Kenzo taught me once upon a time.

"Nag-request ako, tapos tatangihan mo? Unbelievable." I'm not looking at him, but I can feel shaking his head in disbelief as if I disappointed him.

Tiningnan ko siya pabalik, "I'm just being a kind friend here, masama kasi ang-" Oh shit!

"What happened?" he approached me with haste and saw how I cut my finger.

"Kulit mo kasi eh," I blamed him. I open the faucet as I press my finger into the running water, "Kitang nagluluto ako, tapos daldal ka ng daldal. Binigyan kita ng chocolate kasi mas okay iyon bago ka kumain or you should have drink some warm water, coffee isn't good in an empty stomach-" bago ko pa man madagdagan ang mga dapat niyang marinig, kinuha niya ang kamay ko at inilagay ang daliri ko sa bibig niya. I can feel that his tongue is doing the work. He's sucking the blood out of it. Hindi ko alam kung anong kuryente na naman ang dumaloy sa akin. I tried to let go because it's making me a little uncomfortable. "Travis, I'm fine." I tell him keeping a certain distance. Hindi ko alam kung bakit uminit bigla ang paligid, nang silipin ko yung aircon, naka-fan mode pala ito, kaya pala mainit. Tsk!

"I heard that saliva helps to stop the bleeding." he smirks as if he said something smart.

"Bata lang ang maniniwala doon." naiinis kong sambit at hinanap ang band-aid. Kailangan ko munang makahinga, hindi ko inaasahan na gagawin niya iyon, "Mamaya niyan mas madumi pa ang bunganga mo, na-contaminate pa tuloy ang daliri ko." I put an alcohol and I squint. Ang hapdi! Pero kailangan eh. Parang pagtanggap ko lang sa sitwasyon namin ni Kenzo. Tch! Bakit ko ba naisip iyon? Pagkatapos ko linisin ang sugat ko, nilagyan ko na agad iyon ng band-aid. Pero bago pa man ako makabalik sa kitchen, nakaharang ang nakangising si Travis sa harapan ko. Paniguradong tinatawanan na naman niya ako sa utak niya. Badtrip! Bwisit na mukha iyan! "Magluluto pa ako." tinabing ko siya dahil ang laki niyang harang.

"Pikon ka talaga ano?" he says with amusement. Bahala siya diyan, nilagpasan ko siya at nagpatuloy sa ginagawa ko sa kusina, "For your information, this filthy mouth you said, just kissed another dirty mouth last night." pilyo niyang dagdag na mas lalo kong ikinainis.

I glared at him yet his amused reaction pissed me off, "You know I'm holding a knife, right?" mamaya mandilim ang paningin ko, baka masaksak ko siya sa inis ko.

He stands crossing his arms mocking me, "Ganti-ganti lang."

"Get out of my sight, tatawagin na lang kita kapag ayos na. Baka mapatay pa kita sa inis." iritable kong ani at nilagay ang chicken broth sa kaldero, kasunod ng noodles at ng cabbage. Nilagyan ko na rin ng salt and pepper for additional flavor. Hindi ko na siya narinig sumagot pero buti na lang at nawala na siya sa paningin ko. Nakakainis talaga ang pagmumukha niya!

That scene from last night suddenly replays in my head. I don't know what gravity led me to it and I hate it. I shake my head, to think that I impulsively agreed with what we talked about last night; hindi ba para akong nagpa-budol sa kanya? Kinalma ko ang sarili ko bago pa niya makita ang epekto ng pagpapaalala niya sa akin sa nangyari kagabi sa penthouse niya. For sure tatawanan na naman ako ng lalaking 'yon. Kagigil!

Naghain na ako sa hapag at tinawag siya, "Kumain ka na." sasabayan ko na rin siya kumain. Masarap ang chicken ramen, aba!

He looks at me and back at my dish, "Wala bang lason ito?"

I'm not sure if he's being sarcastic but seeing him smirked at me made me think that he is. I'm really trying to be very understanding and kind to this person, but there are times that he gets on my nerves, "You were watching me cook, yet you dare to accuse me na may lason iyan?" I raise an eyebrow at him, "Hindi pa kita gustong patayin Travis."

"Pero sabi mo baka mapatay mo ako sa inis. That alone is motive." he playfully smirks again. Nakakainis ang pagka pilyo ng taong ito!

"Kanina iyon. Plus ang sabi ko 'baka mapatay kita' baka means maybe in English, in case you don't know." Kasi naman yung kanina, yung daliri ko sa bibig niya- tapos yung pinaalala niya pa tungkol sa nangyari kagabi, nakakainis naman talaga! "Let's just eat, okay?" iritable kong ani pero pinagmamasdan niya pa rin ako. Sinimulan ko na lang kumain para hindi siya magduda sa akin. Iniisip ba niya talaga na lalasunin ko siya o sadyang pinagtitripan niya lang ako? Humigop siya ng sabaw at nakita ko naman sa kanya na napahanga ko siya sa niluto ko, "Sarap 'no?" pagmamayabang ko.

"Didn't expect it." he said with both of his eyebrows raised, for some reason it feels like he just complimented me. "How come you have servants in your home, pero marunong ka mamalengke at magluto?" he asked with curiosity while enjoying the dish.

"Noong bata ako, sinubukan kong mag summer job sa isang restaurant-" I paused instinctively, hindi ko alam kung itutuloy ko pa ang kwento since that's the same time when I met Kenzo. I looked at Travis and for some reason he just knew where the story will go right away.

"He's a good influence then." he says with a small smile.

"But after that, I tried cooking at home. Noong una marami akong failures, hindi naman maiiwasan iyon. But then I just really wanted to make something that I know I can be proud of. Kahit na may servants kami sa bahay at kapag may time ako, I want to at least cook something for my family. Lalong lalo na sa dalawa kong kapatid."

I noticed that his bowl is now empty, "Can I have another round?" he says humbly. Heh. Kapag napa-round 2, it means masarap. I'm so proud of myself!

"Sure."

"I never got to say thank you sa niluto mo sa akin kaninang breakfast. It's my first time eating breakfast at my place." he says casually.

"Maliit na bagay." kumento ko at maingat na inabot sa kanya ang pangalawang serving.

"No one cooks for me at home." I looked at him and saw that sadness in his eyes hiding from a smile that he wanted me to see.

"Yung girlfriend mo, does she cook for you?" kasi impossible namang hindi. Bakit kasi dine-deny niya pa. Mukhang may girlfriend din 'tong lalaking 'to.

Umiling siya na natatawa, "She's not my girlfriend."

"Okay let me correct myself, yung mahal mo, hindi ka ba niya ipinagluluto?" all of a sudden, I see how his jaw hardened as if I offended him again. He couldn't look at me but I know I pushed a sensitive button.

"This is an offense to rule number four," he carefully eyes at me, "Don't ever ask anything personal."

"I'm sorry," oo nga naman may rules nga pala kami na dapat masunod, "My bad," I raise both of my hands. "My mistake, future Attorney Travis."

"Then this case is dismissed." his lips form a smile as he continues to finish his second bowl.

Umalis na rin siya kaagad pagkatapos kumain dahil may mock up quiz daw sila sa school. Sadly, I wasn't able to visit his school earlier dahil nga nag-ayos pa ako ng gamit ko sa unit ko. Binalikan niya lang talaga ako para sa groceries na ibinilin sa kanya ni mommy. I checked my clock and it says it's nine o'clock in the evening, which is still early for me. I'm bored, wala pa yung computer set ko, kung nandito na sana iyon maglalaro na lang ako ng online game, hindi pa ako nakakapag-level up uli. Hapon pa naman ang shoot ko bukas.

Now, what to do? Then I remembered, maybe I should ask some co-models to join me to go to a bar to get some drinks. At the second thought I also remembered, hindi nga pala ako ganoon ka-close sa kanila. Naalala ko pa nga na ilag sila sa akin dahil nga anak ako ni Miranda Campbell. Why can't I just be my own person and instead of seeing the real me, they see me as my mother's daughter. Ayoko na nga muna mag-isip ng kung anu-ano, lalabas na lang ako mag-isa at pupunta sa bar.

I wear something casual, denim rugged pants, a black v-neck sleeveless shirt and a cardigan. I fix my hair into a ponytail para presko. I arrived at this new bar na hindi ko pa napupuntahan, it's funny because the bar is named GSpot Bar and Grill. Kung sino ang may-ari nito; I'm impressed, ang creative niya to catch potential customers sa kanyang bar. I entered the place and saw the room filled with people. May stage din dito sa loob, maybe for performing singers or stand-ups. I went straight to the bar and saw a friendly looking face.

"Hi, what can I get you, miss?" he asked and from his reaction, he's assessing me if I'm alone or if I'm with someone.

"Give me your best drink." I said, "I hope you wouldn't disappoint me." agad naman akong tinanguhan ng bartender at hinanda ang inumin ko.

"Max C?" bati sa akin ng isang binata na hindi ko mamukhaan.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Max, don't you remember me?" he sits beside me with both hands waving as if he just performed a magic trick on me. Still I couldn't recognize him. He gives up and sighs, "It's Gerard Clarke."

"Gerard?" I tilted my head, scanning my brain if I knew Gerard in the past.

"Okay," he sighed again and faced me awkwardly, "Baby G. Remember?"

"Oh gosh? That's you?" he shakes his head, "Baby G?"

"Don't call me that, it's embarrassing." he said scratching his head. Nginitian ko siya at nakipag beso sa kanya.

"How many year has it been?" naalala ko na siya yung naging kasabayan ko noong fourth grade na kumuha music lessons noon. Ang laki na ng pinagbago niya, dati akala ko introvert siya. But looking at him now, he's like a new person.

"Matagal na rin." he says almost awkwardly.

"I'm sorry I didn't recognize you." I said, feeling a little embarrassed for being forgetful.

"It's okay, madami dami na rin ang nagbago, mas gwapo na ako ngayon, hindi ba?" pagmamayabang niya kaya hinampas ko siya, "So are you still playing some instrument?"

"I still have my old guitar, but I wasn't able to practice, maybe I'm getting a little rusty."

"That's understandable. You're a very busy person. You do modelling and acting, that's not an easy job." I just give him a simple awkward nod.

"This place is amazing." I commented just to avoid any topic regarding me.

"I own the place." he says with pride, "Took me a while, but hey, it's good, right?"

"Iba rin," I nodded at him, "Graduate ka na ba? What course?" he's young to manage a business like this. I have to admit, I'm impressed.

"Almost there, I'm taking Management." matipid niyang sagot.

"Lucky you." I commented with a smile. Sana ngayon ay college na rin ako, kung pinayagan lang sana ako ni Mommy pumasok sa school, pero mas gusto niya iprioritize ang brand niya para sa business niya.

"How about you, did you take any courses in college?" he asked. I want to avoid this question.

"Not in particular," I lied, "I'm focusing at work for now, maybe next time." ayokong maramdaman na napag-iiwanan ako.

Dumating na ang drink na inorder ko at binati ng bartender si Gerard, "Give whatever she wants, she's an old friend, so I'll treat her."

"Yes sir." sagot sa kanya ng bartender.

"It's not really necessary Gerard." nakakahiya naman.

"Nah, it's okay, I insist. Besides, we've been good pals in the past. Let me at least treat a friend." he says and he raises his drink and we clink our drinks, "So, I heard that you're engaged? Is that true?"

"You can say that," I shrugged, gaano ba kalayo lumipad ang chismis at miski si Gerard updated sa lovelife ko? "You know, the perks of being me." I'm trying not to sound sarcastic. I hate my situation.

"Well, who's the lucky guy then?"

"Nah," umiling ako, "You might not know him."

"Try me," he says with enthusiasm, "Whoever this guy is I'm going to do my homework para naman maging kampante ako na magiging okay ka sa kanya."

Natawa naman ako sa kumento niya, pero sa totoo lang mas gugustuhin ko na lang na manahimik muna. Besides kung anong meron sa amin ni Travis, hindi rin naman magtatagal iyon. "I'll tell you next time then." kung, at kung magkakaroon ako ng serious relationship.

"Madaya ka," he pouted and I put up a smile, "Fine, kung hindi lang ako mabait ngayon." I'm happy that he he lets me slide, "But let's take a picture, ipagmamalaki ko sa tropa ko na kaibigan ko si Maxene Campbell." natawa naman ako sa banat niya at nilabas niya ang cellphone niya. He takes a picture of us with a wacky face, "Ha! I'm sure they'll freak out." he types in something on his phone and sends our picture via MMS.

"Bakit naman?"

"Sa amin kasi olats ako sa babae. Aminado ako na puro fling lang, nothing serious. But to have a picture with Maxene Campbell, I'll make the boys bow down to me." natatawa at nagmamayabang niyang sagot sa akin. I couldn't help but shake my head, boys will be boys.

"Gerard, come on, let's hang over there." nilapitan siya ng ilang babae.

"Well, let's chat next time Max C." nagpaalam siya kaagad at dumiretso sa kung saan na hindi ko na maaninag.

I opened my phone and attempted to call Kenzo for the nth time, pero katulad ng dati derecho voicemail lang lagi. I texted him too, but no reply. Ilang beses ko ba siya kailangan suyuin? Gusto ko lang naman siya kamustahin. Bakit hindi na siya dumadalaw sa ampunan, bakit sinabi niya kay Sister Elizabeth na wala na kami, bakit, bakit, bakit... ang daming bakit na hindi niya pa nabibigyang sagot sa akin.

"Hey miss," I'm not sure kung nakakailang baso na ako, pero yung lalaking bumati sa akin kamukhang kamukha ni Kenzo, pero hindi ganito makatingin sa akin si Kenzo, "You alone?" he asks with a hint of humor in his voice.

I tried to smile at him, para hindi naman ako mukhang rude, "You can say that."

A playful smile forms on his face, "Wanna hang around with me?"

I know what he's doing, he's flirting with me, I pushed him away and went to the dance floor. Isasayaw ko na lang ang kahibangan ko na nakikita ko si Kenzo sa harapan ko ngayon. The people around me are also dancing, napaka-hype ng music sa bar. I could scream my lungs out, I could dance with anyone who appears in front of me. Paikot-ikot na ako kahit na alam ko na nahihilo na ako. I'm still going to dance this sadness and pain away. Napatigil na lang ako nang may humigit sa baywang ko. It's the guy who looks like Kenzo, but not really Kenzo. He smiles at me and for some reason he smiles like Kenzo. My heart starts to melt, "Take me with you." pakiusap ko sa kanya, na natatawa at naiiyak sa harapan niya, "Please don't leave me."

He pulls me close whispering, "I'll take you if you give me a kiss."

Natatawa ako na tumango-tango na parang bata sa harapan niya. I noticed that he puts something in his mouth, maybe it is a candy. He attempted to take my lips, however everything went dark as a sudden force took me and I heard a loud thud.