It's the middle of summer. I wake up not remembering what day it is. The days have blended together. It could be Monday's yesterday. Or Thursday's tomorrow. I stare at Nadia's photo, waiting for a green dot to appear over it, telling me that she's online.

"Melvin's at the door!" Mom yells from downstairs.

"Tell him I'm busy!"

I don't remember the last time I looked in the mirror, but somehow, I can just feel the skin on my face grow paler.

Then the green dot appears over Nadia's photo, and I wait for her to send the first message this time. Two minutes passes and I begin to panic. I sent the first message last time. I can't do it again. That's something Sammy would do. Not Simon.

Patience, Simon. She will type. She will...

And then I see her typing – three dots blinking under her photo.

3:22pm

Nadia Ricci

Heyyy

3:22pm

Simon Jackson

sup

3:23pm

Nadia Ricci

So it's confirmed...

3:23pm

Simon Jackson

italy?

3:23pm

Nadia Ricci

Italy!

3:23pm

Simon Jackson

no way

when?

3:24pm

Nadia Ricci

Tomorrow. Yikes!

3:24pm

Simon Jackson

wtf

so soon

3:24pm

Nadia Ricci

I know. Crazy eh?

3:24pm

Simon Jackson

how long you gone?

3:24pm

Nadia Ricci

The rest of the summer

3:24pm

Simon Jackson

damn

3:24pm

Nadia Ricci

I know. I'm gonna miss our chats :P

3:24pm

Simon Jackson

we can still chat

3:24pm

Nadia Ricci

We don't have wifi at my Tia's :(

3:25pm

Simon Jackson

sounds like hell

3:25pm

Nadia Ricci

HEY!!! That's my Tia you're talking about >:(

3:25pm

Simon Jackson

:P

3:25pm

Nadia Ricci

Anyway, I gotta go.

Not sure when I'll be online :(

3:25pm

Simon Jackson

Fine. Just come home soon. And don't go live on the moon.

3:26pm

Nadia Ricci

LOL what do you mean?

I send her this YouTube link:

https://youtu.be/kIq8jLj5TzU

I press send and immediately regret it. It was lame of me to send this.

She doesn't reply for a few of minutes. My sweat pores open up. I feel the regret building. What the fuck was I thinking? Such a Sammy move.

And then it happened -- Nadia sends me an invite to see her webcam, and I click the video window open.

In the video she's wearing a white tank top with no bra. I tap the brighter button on my laptop to the max.

"Oh my God! I love that song," her voice cracks in my shitty speakers.

I type:

3:36pm

Simon Jackson

i thought you might

"I'm really going to miss chatting with you," she frowns.

3:37pm

Simon Jackson

i know

"Let's hang out... get back?" the video lags and her voice skips.

3:37pm

Simon Jackson

mos def

"Don't forget me," she winks.

3:37pm

Simon Jackson

of course i won't...wait. who is this again?

"Fuck off!" she laughs.

3:37pm

Simon Jackson

okay, have a safe trip troublemaker.

"Wait, I have to give you something to remember me by," she smirks.

3:37pm

Simon Jackson

oh really?

"What should I give you?" she fishes, grabbing the bottom of her tank top.

3:37pm

Simon Jackson

hmmm

She tilts the camera down, the top of the frame hiding her face. Butterflies creep into the pit of my belly and soak there, warm and humming, and if I hear Mom call me at this moment, I'm going to kill her.

"Tell me you want it," Nadia whispers.

3:38pm

Simon Jackson

:P~~

Then she pulls her tank top up to her chin. Her stomach sort of sinks in, exposing the sharpness of her rib cage under the fullness of her bare tits. Her skin seems to radiate. The curves of her long neck matches the slender curves of her hips. She brings her elbows in, her forearms squeezing her tits together.

"Is this something you'll remember?" she whispers off screen, and I hastily take off my pants. I'm a hurried mess, in relation to her slow, deliberate movements. And suddenly all the years of my solitary fantasies and my solo yearning spills out in a catharsis. The Macbook sound of camera shutters snap with screenshot after screenshot, snapping in rhythm to the smacking of my fist on skin.