Grumpybluebear: I don't even know what her damn problem is these days. She says she's pissed about her recent breakup, but trust me they weren't exclusive.

We'd been chatting for about a hour already and our conversation had already devolved into a discussion on my recent issues with my roommate. I asked about Mary and the wedding and he was still not interested in discussing it. Not interested actually didn't even begin to describe how he seemed to feel about the subject. I'd become so used to him telling me at least a little about his week it felt odd to be back nearly where we started. With me telling him about my problems and him offering generic advice.

SixStringGuy: Sydney did you ever stop to think that maybe that was the guy she really liked. Just because she's been running around with more than one guy doesn't mean she didn't have real feelings for them. And maybe even strong feelings for one of them.

I was a little taken back by the tone of his words. If I didn't know any better is think he was mad at me, though I couldn't think of anything I'd said to upset him.

Grumpybluebear: No, I hadn't really considered that.

SixStringGuy: sometimes you're a little narrow minded about these types of things. You know maybe somewhere inside herself Alley is afraid no one loves her, so instead of being truly vulnerable she reaches for as many people as possible, so she won't be alone.

Grumpybluebear: you're right. That very well could be.

SixStringGuy: you know love isn't just this narrow little window that you picture it to be. It's so much more than that and so different to everyone. Some people spend their whole lives grasping for something, anything to make them feel complete. And in doing that sometimes people end up in truly shity situations. You really need to think about that. I mean if you think staying with a guy for 8 years and never coming is bad, then you have no idea what a truly tough situation is.

Grumpybluebear: Christ almighty I get it already. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm narrow minded and don't look at things from different perspectives. What do you want from me Jamie? What the hell is your problem tonight?

Sulking back into be cloth covered chair and crossing my arms over my chest with a huff. He had no reason to rip into me like that. I'd done nothing to him and I didn't feel I had that lecture coming. As our silence I grew I check to make sure he was still online and that my service hadn't been interrupted. After 15 minutes I narrow my eyes at the screen and decide I've had enough of this from him.

Grumpybluebear: if you wanna ignore me that's fine I can just leave you to your thoughts tonight. Give you time to sort out whatever shit you have going on that you think you can take out on me.

SixStringGuy: I'm sorry Sydney.

His words came across my screen just as I was about to sign off.

Grumpybluebear: yeah.

SixStringGuy: I mean it. I'm sorry for acting that way, it was uncalled for.

Grumpybluebear: what's going on?

SixStringGuy: things are just getting more complicated and messed up by the day.

Grumpybluebear: ok.

SixStringGuy: there are so many things I want to tell you, but I can't.

Grumpybluebear: why not?

SixStringGuy: I'd have to tell you so much for it to all make sense. And I don't know if you'd ever talk to me again. I think you might hate me.

Grumpybluebear: Jamie I can't think of anything that would make me hate you. I wouldn't judge you or be upset with you no matter what you told me.

Those words flew from my finger tips before I ever had a chance to think it through. Typing before you think is like talking while drunk, truths you weren't even aware of appear. And in that moment I realized I'd become so comfortable with Jamie that I honestly couldn't think of something that he could say that would cause me to feel hate towards him.

SixStringGuy: I don't believe you sugar.

Leaning closer to the computer screen as though our conversation had turned into an online whisper. The quiet sharing of secrets across the space made shorter by phone lines and technology.

Grumpybluebear: Try me.

SixStringGuy: I want to.

Grumpybluebear: what?

SixStringGuy: forget it. This is all just silly.

Grumpybluebear: Jamie, what is it you want to tell me? Please be honest. Don't tell me it's complicated either.

SixStringGuy: well it is ;) but if I'm being honest, there's a lot I want to tell you.

Shaking my head, I'm completely lost in all this random commentary. Trying to think back through all the various conversations we'd had since last August and the multitude of topics we'd discussed, but still I couldn't figure out what he could possibly want to tell me that had him so freaked out.

Grumpybluebear: well then pick one thing and tell me that. Let me show you that I won't get mad or hate you or whatever it is your afraid of.

A lump formed in my throat as I waited for any sort of answer from him.

SixStringGuy: I want you.

Confusion danced over my face at those simple words. He couldn't actually mean...

Grumpybluebear: ok, I'm, maybe I'm not understanding...

SixStringGuy: you understand just fine sugar. I want you. I want your naked body laid out in front of me. I want to explore every part of of you.

My attempt at swallowing the dry lump stuck in my throat was audible. The more he wrote the more my body temperature started to raise and my body started to tingle.

SixStringGuy: I want you to let my hands trail over your bare shoulders, then down along the curve of your breasts. Watching your nipples raise to little peaks before I even have a chance to touch them. My tongue sliding up your neck until my teeth can gently take your earlobe. Sugar, I want that sweet taste of your skin on my tongue while my hands caress down to your waist, fingers wrapping around you, pulling the hot flesh of your hips up to mine for a brief moment.

The images playing out behind my eyes give me the full erotic picture he was trying to paint. His body hovering over mine, controlling my every move and my every response. Having no physical reference for what Jamie looks like, my mind settles on Prince and plays all of Jamie's words out for me with Prince's body. My heart beat faster, harder the more he wrote and the more I imagined.

SixStringGuy: I want to hear your soft, breathy moans as I spread your legs, my tip meeting with you wet heat, teasing.

My legs squeezed together, trying to stop the throbbing sensation his words created.

SixStringGuy: Sydney my dick is so hard just sitting here imagining what you would feel like wrapped around me. Your body shivering under me, walls clenching around me, our moans filling the open space around us. Oh, the way your back would arch and your mouth would fall open as I make you come over and over.

Grumpybluebear: Jamie, I don't even know what to say.

SixStringGuy: you can't tell me you haven't thought about it.

Grumpybluebear: maybe once or twice, but I don't know what you look like, so it's hard to imagine.

SixStringGuy: then who do you think of.

My cheeks feel hotter as that one simple name appeared on the screen.

Grumpybluebear: Prince, but there was one time...

SixStringGuy: don't hesitate, just tell me mama. Tell me that fantasy, I don't care how bad you think it is. I want you to make me come right now, my hand and your words.

My fingers didn't event wait to start working the keys. The idea of him, cock in hand waiting for me was too much.

Grumpybluebear: a few days ago I dreamt that I was naked on all fours in a large bed, Prince behind me fucking me to the point of screaming. Then a nondescript naked man walked in and I knew it was you. Without a single word you walked up to me, taking two fists full of my hair and pressing yourself into my eager mouth. You both fucked me in unison, the sounds of sex all around us until I was pumped full of both of you.

Biting my lip as that memory was fully fleshed out in my mind. I'd never dreamt about anything like that before, let alone had I ever told anyone about any of my fantasies.

SixStringGuy: Fuck Sydney, your nastier than I thought ;) thank you.

Grumpybluebear: did you come?

My heart was pounding while my imagination ran wild wondering what he looked like right now.

SixStringGuy; yeah. Did you want me to describe what happened?? ;)

Grumpybluebear: no lol. I think I have to go.

The throbbing wasn't going away and I wanted so badly to do something about it.

SixStringGuy: why? Did you come?

Grumpybluebear: what? No.

SixStringGuy: is that why you have to go sugar?

Grumpybluebear: I just have to go Jamie.

SixStringGuy: ok. Good luck Sydney. Think of me or Prince, it doesn't really matter either way as long as you get off.