SixStringGuy: Hello there mama.

Grumpybluebear: I'm sorry about last week.

Over the past week I'd given his words a lot of consideration and I'd started to feel bad about how I'd left things. I had asked for his insight then to get pissed off when he actually gave it to me, my reaction was childish.

SixStringGuy: Don't. You have nothing to apologize for.

Grumpybluebear: yes I do. That was the online equivalent of storming out of the room or hanging up on you. So I'm sorry for acting that way and thank you for giving me your opinion on the situation.

SixStringGuy: Have you talked to him?

Grumpybluebear: No

SixStringGuy: ?

That was a loaded question mark and I pondered it for a while. Chewing on my bottom lip I tried to think of a way to explain what's been going on that last seven days. What has been going on? In the simplest terms I've been avoiding the situation. Closing my eyes and shaking my head, as I try to push down the part of me that doesn't want to talk or even think about this whole situation.

Grumpybluebear: Honestly I've been avoiding him all week. I don't want to deal with this other the phone.

SixStringGuy: You will have to deal with this. You can't let him walk all over you.

Grumpybluebear: I know, but I know him and on the phone he would just deny it and hang up. I'll see him in a few weeks and we'll talk then.

SixStringGuy: promise me you will.

Grumpybluebear: promise. Can we talk about something else?

SixStringGuy: Ok. Tell me about your week.

Grumpybluebear: it was fine. Just classes, work, writing, researching and avoiding Miko.

SixStringGuy: We're not talking about that remember. 

Grumpybluebear: yeah.

SixStringGuy:  I thought college was all about being wild and discovering yourself...

Grumpybluebear: there is the occasional party, but I'm trying to stay a little more focused this year.

SixStringGuy: so you used to be all about the parties?

Grumpybluebear: maybe. Oh, something did happen this week that made me think of you.

SixStringGuy: was it while you were in the shower? I've been told ladies think of me in the shower sometimes.

Grumpybluebear: and what exactly would I think of? Your screen name?

SixStringGuy: Whoever you imagine I really am ;)

Grumpybluebear: Sure. Anyways. I was hanging out with my friend who works at the college radio station and they got a promo disk of Prince's new song and she played it for me. Made me think of that argument you were in about music a few weeks ago.

SixStringGuy: Really? What was the song?

A small laugh shook my chest as I could read the excitement in his words.

Grumpybluebear: Dolphin. Apparently he has an album coming out next month.

SixStringGuy: what did you think of the song??

Grumpybluebear: I'm sure you'll love it, you sounded like a pretty big fan after all, lol.

SixStringGuy: of course. But as a self proclaimed "casual listener" I want to know what you thought.

Grumpybluebear: Well, in that case, it's a little lost on me really. So the verses are very nice, In fact the opening line is quite striking. It's something like "how beautiful do the words have to be before they conquer every heart". Beautiful line really, but things fall apart with the whole reincarnating as a dolphin thing.

SixStringGuy: ok, but you really didn't get anything from the idea of the dolphin?

Grumpybluebear: maybe I'm not a deep enough thinker for his music, lol. Have you heard the song?

SixStringGuy: Maybe it has something to do with people having a predetermine idea of who he is and letting that cloud how they see everything he does. For example, he could release a song about world peace, but it's still a song from the guy who sang Darling Nikki or the guy who used to masturbate his guitar. Now if a dolphin, or someone with a more innocent background,had the same song people would listen to it; maybe even be more accepting of the message. But at the same time people would probably still try to tell him how to be if he was dolphin, by telling him how to swim.

Grumpybluebear: wow! You've obviously heard the song and given this some considerable thought.

SixStringGuy: a little. People just need to be more open minded and accepting of the fact that people change, artists included.

Grumpybluebear: next time I hear it I'll listen with that in mind. I feel like next time I don't understand something from Prince I should ask you, you seem to get him :)

SixStringGuy: No, that's just a theory, just how I interpret it. Everyone gets to interpret songs in their own way.

Grumpybluebear: sure. Let me guess, Prince comes to your strip club and writes songs while watching your girls dance lol.

SixStringGuy: I'd be willing to bet he's done something like that before, but not at my establishment. My strip joint is a classy place and he's probably what you'd call a creeper ;)

Grumpybluebear: you never know I guess. So enough about my week and Your deep understanding of Prince. How was your week?

SixStringGuy: Busy. Really busy. Lots of work stuff and some personal life stuff.

Grumpybluebear: wow that's deep, "personal life stuff".

SixStringGuy: I think my girl wants a commitment. And I'm not sure what to do with that.

Grumpybluebear: oh I can't give you some advise on that, but first I need some background. Was she your first?

Cocking an eyebrow at the computer screen as I threw his words from last week back at him. "See how he likes that" I said to my empty apartment.

SixStringGuy: Not even close, but I did take her virginity.

My cheeks turned hot.

Grumpybluebear: oh

SixStringGuy: why does the subject of sex make you uncomfortable?

Grumpybluebear: it doesn't. Anyway, how long have you two been together.

SixStringGuy; that's complicated. We've known each other for about 5 years and together off and on for maybe 3 years, but we just made things official a few months ago.

Grumpybluebear: ok. What makes you think she wants a commitment?

SixStringGuy: she told me she wants to get married.

Grumpybluebear: rofl! She didn't even go with a hint?

SixStringGuy: Sometimes it's better to be direct with me.

Grumpybluebear: well she seems to know that lol. So it's not a question of what she wants, but what do you want? You want to get married?

SixStringGuy: I have always wanted to get married, but, I think I'm afraid I'll fail at marriage.

Grumpybluebear: why on earth would you think that?

SixStringGuy: I've not seen a lot of good examples of how to make that work and I know me. It will require a lot of change on my part.

I was letting his words sink in as a loud crash at my front door shook me.

Grumpybluebear: brb

Running to the front door I found the door open and my drunk roommate laying halfway in the apartment.

"What the hell Ally?" I questioned as I kneeled down to her, trying to get her back up on her feet before kicking the door closed.

"Sorry Sydney, I didn't mean to interrupt your weekly Internet date." Her words slurred as I helped her to her room "Hi Internet man!" She yelled into my room as we passed it.

"You know he can't hear you right?" She only giggled as I got her in her bed with a trash can next to her. Taking a seat back at my computer I noticed a new message.

SixStringGuy: that's ok, I have to go. Sorry to unload on you about that marriage thing. Talk to you next week.

He was offline and for some reason it felt like he was the one running away this time.