The past week had drug on like no other week in my life. The library had been understaffed for most of the summer session, leaving me with a ton of work to catch up on. Then of course there were meetings with professors and my academic advisor to get a plan in place for the next two years. By far the most taxing had been my multiple arguments over the phone with my boyfriend, Miko, who lives back home.

I had spent sometime online nearly every night, doing one thing or another and each night I checked for him, but he was never there. By Sunday night Miko was on the top of my shit list and I was nervous about starting classes the next day. What I needed was a breath of fresh air, the type of relaxing banter our conversation had brought last week. Sitting in my black computer chair in cut off jean shorts and a tank top trying to ignore the constant him of the window fan that was doing a poor job of cooling the late summer night air, I waited impatiently as the Internet took its time connecting. That familiar blue screen came up, following by my contact list:

SixStringGuy offline
I felt my smile fall as I read those words a second and third time.

"Sydney!" My roommate Alley walked through my open door as I brought my juice glass filled with white wine to my lips. "We're going out, last night before classes," her eyes wide and done up in her favorite bar hopping attire, "you should come."

"Nah, I'm gonna stay in and relax."

"Come one..."

"Nope, you go out, have fun and have a drink for me."

"Hey," walking towards me she leaned over my shoulder and studied my screen, "who's SixStringGuy?"

"What?" My voice a little too excited as I turned to see a few messages has popped up from him.

"Ok then," a laugh in Alleys voice, "I'll let you get back to your online boyfriend."

"He's not my boy..."

"Sure sure." She grabbed her keys and headed for the door. "I won't tell Miko." She yelled from the front door before I heard her leave. Shaking my head I returned my attention to the screen and propped my feet up on the lower shelf of my cheap computer desk

SixStringGuy: Hey there!
SixStringGuy: Hello??
SixStringGuy: Anybody home?
SixStringGuy: Is this how people play hard to get online??????

Grumpybluebear: Hi! Sorry, my roommate was talking to me.

SixStringGuy: Hello Grumpy :). That's ok. I was worried you were ignoring me.

Grumpybluebear: No no. I've been looking forward to our chat.

SixStringGuy: Oh really?

Grumpybluebear: yeah. You just seem different from the people I have in my life right now and that makes you really nice to talk to.

SixStringGuy: oh? And?

An awkward blush rose over my cheeks at my own admission. Then it dawned on me, I could tell him anything. He doesn't know me in person and he certainly doesn't know anyone in my circle. A smile appeared on my face as I briefly thought about this liberating idea.

Grumpybluebear: and, how was your week? Did you get everything worked out for the new strip club??

SixStringGuy: interesting change of subject. You know that's not really what I do.

Grumpybluebear: well until you tell me what you do that's the story in sticking with.

SixStringGuy: lol! Ok. No, we still have some final details to hammer out.

Grumpybluebear: how long have you been working on this anyway?

SixStringGuy: a few years now.

Grumpybluebear: Damn! You must really want that location.

SixStringGuy: yeah. The area is prime real estate and that neighborhood just really needs better access to lap dances.

Grumpybluebear: oh, so it must be right by the state capital. You know those politicians love them strippers.

SixStringGuy: chalk one up for the political science major! ;)

Grumpybluebear: ah, you remembered lol

SixStringGuy: of course I did. So how was your week?

I thought about the past seven days and the thing that weighed the heaviest on my mind were the seemingly nonstop arguments with Miko. It was always the same argument and it was continuing to escalate. As the large gulp of my Riesling slipped down my throat I recalled the last fight we'd had face to fave when I was home.

SixStringGuy: don't tell me you partied so hard you don't remember.

Grumpybluebear: I wish. Let me pick your brain. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?

SixStringGuy: wow! I've been told the ladies like me, but we just started chatting Grumpy.

Grumpybluebear: no, I'm being serious. I want an outside perspective.

SixStringGuy: ok ok. In my business I have to travel a lot so yes I have tried the long distance thing a few times.

Grumpybluebear: so you're a traveling strip club owner???

SixStringGuy:  ;) so you and your man are having issues?

Grumpybluebear: no, we are just arguing a lot these days.

SixStringGuy: so yeah, as I said, issues. Ok give me the basics. How long you been together? How long has this been long distance? When did the arguing start? What are you arguing about?

Grumpybluebear: ok we've been dating for almost 8 years. This will be the third year of the long distance thing. Everything was good for the first year then last year I got serious about coming back for grad school and that's when we started arguing. The argument is always about how I've left him for school and he feels I don't value our relationship because I want stay home.

SixStringGuy: 8 years!? Shit mama, were you even out of high school?

Grumpybluebear: it was our senior year.

SicStringGuy: wow, that's just a really long time to be with one person at your age.

Grumpybluebear: yeah yeah everyone says that.

SixStringGuy: Was he your first?

Grumpybluebear: WTF? That doesn't matter.

SixStringGuy: yes it does. It tells me about your history. The type of connection you might have. Some times women cling to that guy. It tells me all sorts of things. And I'll take your action as a yes ;)

If looks could kill my computer would be dead, in fact my entire apartment probably would have caught fire. He has no right to ask that sort of question.

Grumpybluebear: forget it. I just thought you might have some insight, didn't think you'd turn out to be a creeper about it.

SixStringGuy: Hold on. Take a deep breath. I'm assuming you want a mans perspective because you don't have a man you can ask and you don't want to talk to your girlfriends because you don't want them to see potential cracks in your relationship. Is that about right?

Grumpybluebear: maybe.

SixStringGuy: ok then. I can give you my opinion, but I need information to get a full picture of how things have been in the past and how things have changed. Ok?

An audible sigh echoed off my bedroom walls as I let my eyes read over those words again.

Grumpybluebear: sure...

SixStringGuy: but first you have to take that look off your face.

Grumpybluebear: you don't know what look I have on my face.

SixStringGuy: yes I do. I'm thinking it's the same look my girlfriend gives me when she thinks I've started pushing things too far.

Grumpybluebear: she must patient if she puts up with you. How long have you been together?

SixStringGuy: ah, that's a little complicated. Maybe another night we can talk about that. You need advise tonight.

Grumpybluebear: complicated?

SixStringGuy: yes. So, you've been together since high school, 8 years in total and he you lost your virginity to him. You started arguing last year and it sounds like he's jealous about your education. Sound about right so far? 

Grumpybluebear: yes.

SixStringGuy: are the arguments just when you're away or do you argue when you see each other too?

Grumpybluebear: both. It's almost like he feels I'm cheating on him with school. I know that makes no sense, but that's how the arguments sound.

SixStringGuy: have you ever cheated on him?

Grumpybluebear: no.

SixStringGuy: what about him?

Grumpybluebear: no

SixStringGuy: don't get mad at this. What about your sex life? Has that changed since the arguments started? I'm not being a creep I have a reason for asking.

Grumpybluebear: yes. We're not, not as "close" as we used to be. We haven't really...its been a while.

SixStringGuy: grumpy I think you need to talk to him. You need to ask him what's going on exactly.

Grumpybluebear: I know that. I just want to know what you think first.

SixStringGuy: no you don't.

Grumpybluebear: please just tell me. I seriously don't have anyone else to bounce this off of.

SixStringGuy: he's cheating on you.

Grumpybluebear: excuse me!?

SixStringGuy: ok he's projecting onto you. He cheats and feels bad so he starts fights accusing you of cheating with school. He paints you as the bad guy in his mind that gives him the right to continue with his side action. And your both in your mid twenties. I don't know any guy who wouldn't still want to screw his girlfriend even if he was mad at her. If he's not interested in getting it from you he's already getting it somewhere else.

Grumpybluebear: I have to go.

SixStringGuy: grumpy I'm sorry.

The sign off button worked far quicker than the  sign on one ever did. His last message popped up just before the automated "Goodbye" rang against the sound of my breathing. Staring at the bland screen I let his words sink in. I wasn't sure what I expected as an answer from him, but I certainly didn't expect that.  The silent tears slipping over my lower lashes reminded me that I'd had that exact suspicion a few months ago, but is pushed it so far back I nearly managed to forget it had ever crossed my mind. The signs were so clear now that even strangers could see it.