Okay so I changed back to the past tense because a lot of people have said they like it better that way.

Rey's POV

Niall pressed me against the wall and kissed me, his fingertips digging into my hips. I pulled away when I was completely out of breath and pushed him back by his shoulders.

"Niall."

"Hm?"

"They're not really-they aren't self harm scars."

"What?"

"They were...I slipped in the bathroom while I was shaving and accidentally cut myself. Nothing serious."

He stared at me, taking a step back.

"Fuck you! I-fuck."

"Why are you even overreacting?", I asked and he ran a hand through his hair.

"You fucking scared me!"

"It's cute when you get really mad and your face turns so red that I can see the vein in your temple. It's rare."

"No! Don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Trying to get your way by calling me cute and stuff."

"I don't get why you're so mad about this Niall! I mean, you cut yourself all the time!"

"Yeah but I-I deserve it, you don't."

I rolled my eyes.

"And don't try to change the subject! I'm still mad."

"No you're not.", I said and smiled up at him, showing my teeth.

"Stop."

I made the goat face and he rolled his eyes.

"You look stupid."

I wriggled my eyebrows and he covered my whole face with his large hand. It was kind of creepy to be honest.

I licked his palm and he pulled his hand away, making a disgusted face, before he pulled me into him and leaned down to kiss me.

"EW!"

I stepped back to see Eddie by the door, holding onto the knob.

"Mummy said that desert is ready.", he informed us before he came to us and tried to push Niall towards the door.

"Alright, alright, I'm going.", Niall laughed and Eddie smiled widely at me, before following his brother inside.

I stared at the closed door, before I sighed and also walked inside.

~~~~

Finally, the last day of 2015 came. And with it also came the last day of me being in the dorm. I was completely clueless about where to stay and my mother told me that she wouldn't pay for me because I caused this myself. So there goes that.

The dean came by around noon, right before Amy and I were preparing to leave the dorm and meet up with the rest of our group.

He reminded me that he was going to check tomorrow night to see if I actually left the dorm, and I assured him that I would be gone by then. Where exactly? I had no idea.

"You should tell the others.", she suggested as we walked towards the frat house. The streets were unusually deserted.

"So they can pity me? I'd rather not."

"No, but maybe you can like, crash at someone's flat."

"And who exactly has a flat?", I ask her.

"Jake has one as far as I know. Maybe you can room with him?"

"Yeah but he usually stays in the frat house. And I don't think I'm allowed to sleep on the couch thank you very much."

"Um, actually, you could sleep at the frat house. Ryan did while his dorm was 'out of order'."

"He was a part of the team."

"He's a mascot, you're a cheerleader.", she said and I shrugged.

"I don't know, I just-I'll tell them, okay? Later, when I'll be drunk enough not to care and they'll be drunk enough not to remember."

Liam and Niall were already at the house, with two cars packed with people waiting for us and blasting Arctic Monkeys so the entire campus could hear.

Everyone: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=113438586

"Finally!", Niall yelled and honked, and Justin opened the door of the backseat.

"Ryan's in the other truck.", Katherine said and Amy smiled, before she disappeared.

I sat in the back with Katherine and Rick, on Justin's lap. Soph was in the front seat, talking to Niall. We got to Harry and Louis' hotel forty minutes later, and settled in the suite quite quickly.

The girls took the bedroom with the king sized bed, and the guys settled in the small extra bedroom (much to Louis' dismay).

"So who do you think you'll get to kiss at midnight?", Katherine asked Soph and I as we got ready to go to Times Square.

"Niall.", Soph says and Katherine shot me a look through the mirror.

"What about you, Rey?"

"Uh? I think Jake? We agreed to-"

"I think you should kiss Justin.", Amy intervened and I raised a brow.

"Why?"

"Because he likes you and you two would be cute together."

I rolled my eyes and finished applying eyeliner, before I got up from the chair and told them that we had to hurry up.

I sat down on the couch next to Niall. The guys were watching that New Year's movie with Ashton Kutcher while drinking something from the minifridge.

Niall kept checking his phone, so I asked him what was going on.

"We should be going soon, it's almost seven! If we want to get a decent place, we have to leave."

"Calm down."

He stared at me for a moment, before he checked his watch again. The girls came out of the room three minutes later, and then we all walked over to the hallway to put on our coats and finally get going.

Niall handed me his red hoodie I really liked and I stared at him confused.

"What?"

"You'll be cold, you should also get something to cover your ears."

I accepted it and put it on, before I zipped up my parka. He ran a hand through his hair before he placed the snapback backwards on his hair.

He checked his phone once more, and Harry opened the door, motioning for us to finally get out.

"Hey Niall did-", I started, but he interrupted me by kissing me.

Before I could even register what was going on, he pulled away and sped up to catch up with Soph.

I stared at his back as I walked along with Jake.

I got a text from Kaylee when we were in the elevator, wishing me a Happy New Year, and I realized that it was already 2016 in the UK.

Wait did Niall kiss me at exactly 7pm because it was midnight in England and Ireland???

I didn't speak until we got to Times Square, quite close to the stage in the middle.

"This is going to be SO cool!", Katherine said excited and that's when I knew it was going to be a long five hours until midnight. Not to mention it was freezing cold and I had nothing to cover my ears.

Amazing.

The first two hours weren't that bad, because Miley Cyrus performed and Ryan Seacrest was trying to make good jokes.

"Oh my god I think I'm going to pass out from the cold.", I told Jake and he laughed, putting an arm around my shoulder.

"And I was right, again."

I turned my head to see Niall standing next to me. He took his snapback off and placed it on my head.

"Thanks.", I said.

Even though people were always making fun of Niall for being dumb and failing his last school year, he was actually smart and annoyingly always right.

"Oh, and just for you, I won't smoke for the rest of the year. I promise.", he said.

For a moment, I felt happy, but then remembered that there are like, two hours left of the year and rolled my eyes.

The next two hours also passed by quickly, with Macklemore performing and delivering a speech about equality.

"Fifteen more minutes!", Katherine yells and hands all of us some hot chocolate from a stand nearby.

"Finally, then we can go back to warmth."

"Hey babe, sorry about it, but I actually found a guy that I'm going to snog tonight.", Jake told me and I turned to him surprised, following his pointy finger.

I pouted and he shrugged, before he left me and walked towards the said guy.

"Great.", I muttered and looked around. Why was I even making such a big deal about this?

"You're not going to die if you don't get a midnight kiss, you know.", Niall said coming to stand in front of me.

"I'm eighteen and never kissed someone at midnight."

"What about Sam?", he asked.

"He always went away with his parents."

Niall then turned away from me and engaged in a conversation with Soph, so I ended up talking to Justin. He kept showing his dimples and smiling and laughing and he was just the cutest.

The ball started slowly going down when we were one minute away from midnight, and I felt really excited to finally see it in person. Two years ago I was only dreaming about it and staying up to catch it on TV, but now here I was, seeing it live, with my friends and a really cute guy standing next to me.

"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four!"

I bit my lip and saw Ricky grip harder into Katherine's hips, Liam putting an arm around Zayn's slim shoulder, Harry wrapping his arm around Louis' tiny waist, Ryan stepping closer to Amy and Niall tangling his hand in Soph's hair.

"Two! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

The whole square was cheering and I found myself pulled into Justin's chest, his soft, sweet lips on mine. He smelled amazing and was a great kisser, so who was I to pull away?

It was when I heard Ricky whistle next to us, that I pulled away and licked my lips. Justin shot me a dimple and I smiled.

"What's going on here?", Soph asked in a suggestive tone.

I shrugged. "Nothing."

"Just two friends kissing.", Justin completed and I nodded, agreeing.

"Well thank fuck, can we like go back to our apartment and get drunk?", Louis asked loudly, making everyone laugh.

"Have a bit o' patience babe.", Harry told him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

We managed to get out of the mass of people half an hour later, and after they bought enough alcohol for a whole week, we were finally in the suite, with music blasting at high volume.

The balcony door was open and Jake was 'smoking' with his boy toy, so everyone who wanted to smoke had to do it inside, which caused the air to be filled with smoke. Not that anyone minded, really, because every single one of us was at the very least tipsy.

I was leaning against the wall, an hour and a half into the party, sipping on a cup of beer. I was definitely the most sober one in the entire suite. I drifted my eyes away from Liam and Zayn who were extremely close to actually having sex on the couch, and focused on Justin, who was definitely coming towards me.

I smiled up at him when he stopped right in front of me, our chests almost touching.

"Hi.", he said, taking the cup from my hand and taking it to his lips.

"Hey."

"You bored?"

I shrugged. "Not really, no."

He stared at me for a moment, before he said:

"I really want to kiss you."

I bit my lip, quickly trying to come up with a sexy remark.

"Okay." Was the only thing that came to my mind, and it seemed to be okay for him, because he leaned in and kissed me.

He tasted like alcohol and chocolate, which wasn't my favorite combination, but it'll do.

His hands tangled in my hair and he pulled me closer, tilting his head to the right. We pull away at once a minute later when we're both out of breath and have red, wet lips.

"I kind of-I need to. Excuse me.", he said and placed his palm over his mouth, before he rushed off.

"Great.", I muttered and looked around the room. The music was still playing in the iRoom iDock that Niall brought, but no one was dancing anymore.

Everyone was passed out (or asleep) on the couch or on the floor. I checked the balcony too see Niall leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette.

"Don't give me that look, I haven't smoked since last year!"

"Stop with the new year jokes.", I said and he threw his cigarette over the railing.

"So you like the pledge or something?", he asked and I frowned.

"No?"

"Then why did you kiss him?"

"Do you like all the girls you kiss?", I shot back and he smirked.

"Touché."

"We should like, clean up and stuff. Liam's arm is elbow deep in a bowl of salsa."

"Yeah, we should.", he said and I turned to leave, but he placed a hand on the side of my head, blocking my way.

"After this."

He closed the distance between our lips. The kiss didn't last long, because there was a crash from inside so we had to check it out and make sure no one broke a bone.

It turned out it was just Zayn who rolled off of Liam from the couch and knocked over an empty bottle of beer.

"Okay we'll carry all the boys in the master bedroom and we can leave the girls here.", he said, motioning to Katherine who was tucked under Soph.

I nodded and helped him carry each one of the guys to the big bedroom. We fit Zayn, Liam, Harry and Louis on the bed, and decided that Jake was good to rest on a blanket on the floor.

"I just found your boyfriend in the bathroom, passed out on the floor.", he told me after I tucked Amy and Ryan in on an armchair.

"He's not my boyfriend...yet.", I added, just to see how he would react.

He raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything else. We didn't find Jake's boy toy, so we just assumed he left after a quick shag.

He put away his stereo system while I cleaned up the food and drinks.

"Thank god we have a proper bed.", Niall said a few minutes later, coming out of the bathroom in a bathrobe.

"You look ridiculous.", I laughed and he shrugged, turning on the TV. All the channels were filled with uninteresting crap, so he eventually decided to turn it off and plug his phone in the iDock. Something by Avicii started playing.

"You're not going to sleep in that, are you?", he asked, pointing to my leather pants and crop top.

"Don't have anything else."

He threw his black AC/DC shirt at my face as he walked to the door.

"Do I have to take care of you every time?", he muttered as he exited the room.

When he came back with a bottle in hand, I was already dressed with just his shirt and his red hoodie.

"Oooh since when are you drinking vine?", I teased when I saw him pouring the red liquid in the only small glass left on the table.

"Since all these fuckers drank the whole fucking beer."

"I think you drank like seventy percent of it.", I said and walked over to him, reaching out to grab the glass, but he pulled his hand away.

"Heeeyyy."

"You're underage.", he told me and I stared at him.

"Not in England I'm not."

"Yeah but this isn't England."

"But you kissed me exactly when there was New Year's in England."

He blinked. "So?"

"I think that was cute."

"Okay stop using that word."

"And you look really cute in that robe."

He ignored me, so I snatched the glass from him and quickly padded over to the other side of the bed.

"You should get to bed, I think it's way past your bedtime."

"Stop treating me like a child."

"Technically, you still are a child."

"You weren't saying that when you had your dick in my mouth."

He opened his mouth, but then closed it.

"Well played."

I drank the glass after that, and three glasses later, we were dancing like some retarded idiots through the room.

At one point he started jumping on the bed and I'm pretty sure he broke it.

"There's no more wine.", he said, turning the bottle upside down and letting it fall on the carpet, rolling under the bed.

"Good, cause I'm tired now.", I mumbled and took off his hoodie, throwing it on the floor.

He took off his robe to reveal the fact that he was in fact wearing boxers that were too large for his chicken legs. It was ridiculous.

He turned off the music, before under the blanket after me. I turned off the light and shuffled so I could face the ceiling.

I could feel him staring at me.

"For a person who just got to spend their New Year's in Times Square, you don't look that happy."

That's because I'm fucking broke and I'll end up sleeping on the streets with a white cat

"Yeah, 'm tired.", I said and closed my eyes. "Goodnight."

~~~~

I ended up selling half of my closet for money so I could spend seven nights at a motel near the University, but I was running out of options and I got to the point where I was actually considering prostitution for some extra money. But even I couldn't go that low (no offense to Zayn).

It was Monday, the second Monday of 2016 and I found myself desperate. So I approached Zayn that morning before Lit class.

"What's with the nun outfit?", Niall joked.

I didn't even bother to look at him.

"Zayn, um. Can I like, talk to you for a minute?"

He nodded, confused, but followed me into a corner.

"Um. I kind of-can I come with you tonight?"

"Where?"

"To that street corner? Or-like, I need money. Real bad."

"What? Are you actually insane?"

"No. Listen to me. Someone told the Dean about the cat I was keeping in my dorm and I got kicked out and now I'm broke living in a shitty motel and I need money to actually live."

"I can borrow you some if you'd like, or you should tell Niall-"

"No! Don't even mention this to Niall. Please. I'll just-I won't have sex, I'll just give a few blowjobs or handjobs? How much does that pay?"

"Well a handjob is ninety and a blowjob is one hundred thirty-no! You're not doing this! You can't be a prostitute! You're too innocent."

"Zayn. If I wouldn't be this desperate I wouldn't have come to you."

"Gee thanks.", he said.

"Sorry, just. Please."

He sighed. "Fine. You know where the street is, right?"

I nodded and he patted my shoulder, before he turned around and walked to his seat.

I didn't speak to anyone for the rest of the day unless I was asked, because I was still debating whether I should do it or not.

"Hey, wait up!", Niall called out once we exited the Literature class.

He caught my arm and turned me around.

"Are you mad at me?"

"What? No. Why?"

"Because of the comment before class? About the clothes?"

"No, Niall. I just-it's complicated, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

"Is there anything else going on?"

"No, Niall."

He let go of my arm and I walked away, not looking back. This was a new low for me and I wasn't proud of it.

A few hours later, when it got dark, I put on the last 'hot' clothes I still owned and quickly made my way towards the street Zayn told me about.

Rey: http://www.polyvore.com/you_cant_be_prostitute_youre/set?id=113571070#fans

Zayn and two other guys were leaning against the wall of an old building and I was freezing, but it was the last night at the motel for me and I felt like I was about to cry.

And all of this because of a damn cat.

"Hey.", I said, shooting him a smile as I approached him.

"Are you even wearing something under that coat?", Zayn asked and I nodded, pulling it up to reveal my leather shorts.

"Watch and learn babe.", one of the guys told me as he pushed himself of the wall as a car approached. I couldn't really who was in the car, but the window rolled down and the guy leaned in the window, talking to the driver.

He smiled before opening the door and getting into the car and driving off.

"Wait where are they going?", I asked Zayn and he shrugs.

"To the guys' place."

"What if he gets killed?"

"He won't, we got the license plate."

I scratched the back of my head and saw another car coming down the street, stopping right in front of us.

Zayn nodded towards it, gesturing for me to take this turn. My heart started beating faster as I approached the window, unzipping my coat a bit.

The window rolled down.

"He-fuck.", I said when I saw Niall staring at me with an angry expression on his face.

"What are you doing here?", I asked him.

"Seriously? I could ask you the same fucking thing.", he snapped and I turned to Zayn.

"You told him?"

"Had to, I'm sorry Rey but you can't do this.", Zayn told me and I rolled my eyes, turning back to Niall.

"Get in the fucking car."

I didn't bother to fight him, so I opened the door and got in. He drove in silence for a while, and I thought I was actually going to get away with it, but then he stopped in front of the dorm and snapped.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Did you even actually think this through? Why would you do that?"

I sighed and buried my face in my palms, breathing in heavily.

"I don't want to hear it, Niall, okay? I just, I fucked up."

"Yeah, you did! Why would you-"

I didn't bother to stay and listen to him telling me about how fucked up I was, so I got out of the car.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know, okay? This year sucks so far."

He circled the car so he could stand in front of me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong!"

"Yes, it fucking is! You were on a damn street corner, ready to jump in a car with the first guy that came along for money! Are you like, broke or something?"

"Broke and homeless, more like."

"What?"

"I'm broke and homeless, okay? You were right, I got kicked out of my dorm because of that cat, and now she's staying with me in a crappy motel room that I have to check out of tomorrow morning."

I started crying halfway through my speech, so I wiped my cheeks and try to look him in the eye with the last trace of dignity left in my body.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I don't want your pity! Or help, Niall."

"Yeah but you need it.", he said softly and comes closer.

I stepped back.

"I could've lent you money, or paid someone so you can get your dorm room back."

"I don't want you to be my sugar daddy, Niall!"

"So you'd rather live on the streets that let me help you out?"

I didn't answer, and he wiped my cheeks with his thumbs.

"I can help you, if you'd let me. You can come and stay in Ryan's bed at the frat house until you sort it all out. I don't think the guys would mind."

I stared up at him.

"Really?"

He bit his lip and nodded, before he pecked my lips and hugged me.

"Can we also keep the cat?", I asked once we got back in the car.

He sighed. "Yeah. You can give it to Eddie, he loves cats and Ann never has the time to go buy him one."

"Okay.", I said and he started driving towards the motel. "We're going to have sleepovers every day."

"Don't make me regret this Rey."

"Sorry.", I smiled and he smiled too as he turned on the radio.

I checked out an hour later and Niall was holding Snowflake in his tiny hand as we walked in the frat house.

"Yooo-what's going on here?", Josh asked as he emerged from the kitchen with a bag of chips in hand.

"She's going to stay with us for a while.", Niall announced as we walked into the living room where all the other boys were.

"You're moving your girlfriend in already?", Bryan said from the couch and Jake laughed.

"She got kicked out because of her.", Niall explained, raising the hand in which he held Snowflake. "Who, by the way, will also stay here."

The boys didn't seem to mind, so I got settled in pretty quickly, and Niall even made a sacrifice in lending me one of his drawers for my clothes.

"Also, you can have the desk for homework, I got nerds taking care of that for me."

"That explains your grades.", I said, referring to the recent A on one of his papers.

"If you're going to live in my room, you have to be respectful."

"What? I couldn't hear you over the Justin Bieber album collection.", I laughed and he didn't seem to find it funny, because he stepped towards me. I circled him quickly but he caught me and pulled me towards him.

I squealed and squirmed to break free, before I pushed against his chest and we both doubled over onto his bed.

His hands went to my sides and we stared at each other for a moment, before we simultaneously leaned in.

I pecked his lips before I started kissing up his neck. His fingers tightened around my sides and I pulled away from him to unzip my coat.

"What the fuck.", he breathed when he saw my leather crop top.

I shrugged and threw my coat on the floor, before I returned my attention to him.

"I have literally nothing to wear. Had to sell my clothes for money."

"Jesus Christ, how did the dean even find out?"

"Someone sent an anonymous tip-wait. Did you do it?"

He stared at me blankly.

"What?"

"Did you send that anonymous tip in? You were the only one who knew!"

"I didn't, Renee."

He saw that I was unsure of whether he was telling the truth or not, so he sighed.

"I didn't, okay? I don't know who the fuck did it, but I sure as hell didn't intend for you to end up like this!"

I sighed. "I know, sorry. I'm just mad. I should've listened to you."

"What was that?", he asked, a smirk spreading over his entire face.

"I said, I should have listened to you.", I mumbled and crawled off of him.

"What? I couldn't hear you clearly."

"I said-oh fuck off.", I said when I saw the smirk on his face.

He laughed and sat up on the bed, leaning on his palms. I crouched down to my suitcase in order to get myself some sleeping clothes.

"What are you doing?"

"It's almost eleven and I'm tired. I just want to go to sleep."

He then shrugged and layed back down on his back, getting his phone out.

I was genuinely surprised to see that his bathroom was actually clean and that he only had a shampoo and a shower gel on one of the three shelves.

When I came out of the bathroom, Niall was stripped down to his underwear, typing away on his laptop at the desk.

"Watcha doing?", I asked and walked over to him, dropping my clothes on the way.

"Last minute literature paper."

"I thought you said that you have nerds doing your homework for you."

"Not in Literature. If they make a good job, Grey will figure it out and fail me. He hates me already so."

"He doesn't hate you.", I said, resting my hands on his shoulders to lean over him and look at his screen over his head.

"Oh yes, he does."

"Why do you say that?"

He snorted and stopped typing, turning his chair around.

"Because he wants to fuck you while I'm the one doing it."

I blushed.

"And don't you even fucking say that it's not true, because it's gotten painfully obvious by now. I'm surprised he hasn't kissed you or made a move on you already."

I opened my mouth, but closed it quickly. I couldn't tell Niall that Mr. Grey had already kissed me, he would probably overreact, like he usually did.

"What?", he asked, eyebrows raising. "Why did you make that face?"

"What face?", I asked, pretending not to know what he was talking about, but miserably failing.

"This face!", he exclaimed, pointing to my face. "Wait. Did he make a move on you?"

"Um. No."

"You're a shit liar Renee.", he said, getting up. He was towering over me, kind of intimidating. "Did he make a move on you or not?"

"Well. Maybe. But-I mean, it wasn't anything.", I embarrassingly tried to explain.

"What did he do?"

"He just kissed me. But-"

"When?"

"Like, a month or so ago? I think."

"Holy fuck, I'm going to-"

"Niall, stop overreacting."

"How am I overreacting? How should I react when one of my friends is being harassed by a teacher?"

"You should trust me when I say that he didn't harass me, he didn't force himself on me. I don't want this to get out, he might lose his job and I might get expelled."

He sighed. "Fine, but I swear to God, if it happens again I'm going to beat him up."

"Niall.", I said and he shrugged.

"It's illegal, Rey."

"I know. But so is beating up a teacher. You'd get suspended."

He didn't reply, he just sat back down and returned to his paper.

I watched TV after that and went to bed a few minutes later, while he was still typing.

I woke up during the night because my feet were cold and turned on my flashlight App so I could look for some socks through my suitcase.

I then noticed that Niall's bed was empty, neatly made, like he didn't even sleep in it. I checked the time to see that it was already 2am.

I slid under his covers and snuggled into the warmth, which was his blanket that smelled like him.

When I woke up the next day, he still wasn't there. I was really excited that it was finally snowing properly.

After I got dressed, I grabbed my bag and walked downstairs to find half of the frat boys in the kitchen, getting breakfast.

"Good morning.", I greeted and they all talked with their mouth full.

Justin smiled at me, while handing me a bowl of cereal. He apparently memorized my favorite kind of cereal, which, okay. It was kind of cute and I couldn't help but smile as I felt butterflies in my stomach.

"Have you guys seen Niall?", I asked as I tried to quickly finish my breakfast.

They all shook their heads, telling me that they hadn't seen him since last night when he brought me.

Snowflake made an appearance by jumping on the counter and snuggling into my hand. When I finished breakfast, Justin took my bowl and put it in the dishwasher.

That morning Mr. Grey was late to class, which gave Amy a bit of time to whine about me being gone and having no one to talk to during the night.

"You know that after a month you can try and get your dorm back? Like, if you pay and stuff.", she said and I smiled.

"Really? That'd be so cool."

She nodded and that's when the door opened. Mr. Grey came in, seeming frustrated and angry.

"Sorry for being late class. My windshield and windows were completely smashed this morning so I had to take the subway.

"What?", Amy asked, surprised.

"Some hooligan smashed my windshield and windows during the night. Police are looking for him, although chances of finding him are slim. No one saw anything."

I turned around to check if Niall was here, but he wasn't.

I already knew who had done it, and I didn't know whether I should be angry or thankful. I was worried, if anything.

When the lesson ended I decided to ditch the rest of the day and go look for Niall, because this was ridiculous.

I tried to call him after I dropped my bag off at the frat house, but he didn't answer.

"Hey Zaaayn.", I said when I spotted Zayn on the couch in the living room, surrounded by dozens of tissues and drinking soup.

"What do you want.", he replied and I sat down next to him.

"So I can't find Niall and-"

"Check his dad's house.", he automatically said and I frowned.

"Um-okay. I'll tell Liam to give you a thank you blowjob for me."

I laughed as I dodged the pillow he threw towards me, before I walked out of the room.

It took me over half an hour to get to the mansion, and I was about to ring the doorbell when I saw Niall and Eddie in the park across the street. Niall was leaning against a slide while Eddie was making snow angels.

Rey, Niall and Eddie: http://www.polyvore.com/snowy_day/set?id=114371958#fans

I marched over there and sneaked up behind Niall, pushing him into the snow.

"What the-.", he said and rolled on his back. He smiled when he saw me, running his tongue over his lip ring.

"Don't you have a phone?", I asked.

"I like the fact that you never wear a hat and risk getting a cold, but you always wear this bow things in your hair like you're three."

I kicked snow into his face and he caught my leg, pulling at it, which caused me to fall on my arse in the snow next to his waist.

"You're an asshole."

"Asshole!", Eddie yelled and suddenly threw himself over Niall's torso, making Niall pretend to be hurt.

"Now you're teaching little kids to swear, good job Rey."

"Rey!", Eddie exclaimed and quickly got on his feet, before he walked over to me and hugged my neck.

"Hi.", I smiled, inhaling his amazing baby scent.

I wasn't creepy at all.

"Why are you here?", Niall asked, pulling Eddie towards him by the hem of his little cute pants.

"Did you smash Mr. Grey's car?"

Eddie let himself fall on his bum in the snow, watching us interested.

"Did you?", I asked again, getting angry.

"He kind of deserved it."

"Niall, you could become arrested! Did you know police is looking for you?"

"I couldn't care less.", he mumbled and started drawing circles into the snow.

"It really wasn't necessary, you know."

"I know."

"What happened?", Eddie asked confused and Niall shook his head.

"Nothing bro, go play somewhere else, I need to talk to Rey."

"I love Rey.", Eddie said before he ran off to the swings.

Niall got up and came to tower over me, his legs on either side of my waist.

"Are you missing out on lectures because of me?"

"Um-maybe. But still-"

"I can't tell if you're doing it because you actually are bored with school or because you were actually worried."

"Both."

He then held his hand out and pulled me up. I dusted off the snow from my clothes and Niall went to get Eddie. He found him talking to a girl who was giggling while her mother sat on a bench nearby.

"He's going to be a heartbreaker when he grows up."

"Just like you."

"Yeah. Why are you making that face?"

"What face?"

"Like you really want to tell me something but you're afraid that I'll get mad."

"Oh."

"Well?"

"Okay. Listen to me before you interrupt. Just listen."

He nodded, turning his whole body to me, hands in his pockets.

"I think Eddie might be your son."

Niall's eyebrows shot up in the air and I lifted a hand in order to silence him, in case he was preparing to say something or laugh at my face.

"Because he just really looks like you, and he has the same habits and he has brown hair, unlike your dad and Ann. At first I thought her hair was dyed dirty blonde but then I realized that it actually wasn't and-"

"Rey.", Niall interrupted me calmly.

"What?"

"I understand where you're coming from, but I really don't think he's my son."

"But you had sex with Ann in March, and you haven't seen her since! And then bam! Nine months later she gives birth?"

His expression hardened, probably realizing that I was somewhat right.

"Maybe I should take a DNA test.", he said and I nodded.

"Maybe yeah."

"Eddie!", Niall called and held his hand out towards his brother.

Eddie turned away from the girl and came running towards Niall, grabbing his pinky.

"Where are we going?"

"We're going home, then we're going to the hospital."

"Why are we going to the hospital Ni?", Eddie asked as we walked across the street.

"Nothing serious."

"Up.", Eddie said and lifted his arms up, like he always did.

Niall scooted him up with just one arm and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"Can we go to McDonald's later?", Eddie asked and gripped into Niall's coat.

Niall nodded and Eddie exclaimed happily, smiling brightly at me.

~~~~

Three days later, after we got to the hospital, the doctor called about the DNA results. Niall and I were in the living room, watching Jake and Justin play a really violent FIFA game.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!", Niall yelled and the whole room stilled as he pressed the speaker button after he answered.

"Hello?"

"Good afternoon Mr. Horan. I'm calling in regard of the DNA test you requested."

Niall bit his lip, urging the doctor to continue.

"The compatibility of your DNA with Eddie Horan's DNA is of 1%, which means that you're not his father."

A relived expression downed on his face and I exhaled, happily.

"However, one of the DNAs submitted is severely infected."

"What do you mean?"

"It means that I found sever amounts of cancer cells in a trace of DNA you submitted. It seems to be lung cancer, but I'm not 100% sure."

My heart stopped in my chest and I felt like I wanted to throw up and cry at the same time.

"Wha-should I come for a check up or-"

"No. It's not you. It's the mother."

"Okay, thank you. Um. Good bye."

He hung up and stared at me for a second, before he got up.

"Where are you going?", Jake asked, and I was still trying to recover from the fucking shock.

I didn't know what scared me more, the idea of losing him, or the fact that the idea of losing him scared me so much it hurt.

"To go talk to her.", he said and immediately walked out, not even bothering to say anything else.

"And where are you going?", Jake asked as I got up.

"To throw away every single cigarette pack that Niall owns."

"I'm going to help.", Justin announced and Jake made a face.

Justin showed me all the spots that Niall kept his cigarettes, and I was extremely shocked to find 31 packs in the whole house, 14 of which were in his room.

Justin lit them all on fire in the fireplace, and Jake even roasted marshmallows for everyone, so it was a win-win situation.

Of course, when Niall came home an hour later, he threw a fit and went to lock himself in his room.

An hour after that incident, I decided to go and check on him, only to find him smoking on the balcony.

"Are you fucking serious?", I exclaimed and slapped the cigarette out of his hand.

It got lost through the darkness after it fell over the railing.

"What the fuck?", he yelled and turned to me.

"Your brother's mother just found out she had lung cancer and you're celebrating it by trying to get it yourself?"

"First of all, she knew already! She'd been diagnosed a year ago and she was told that she had about three more years left, but my dad was the only one who knew! And second of all, you fucking smoke too, so don't give me advice!"

"Okay, first of all!", I raised my voice, mocking his accent, "Don't yell at me because I fucking care about your health! And second of all, I do not smoke! I pretended to, so you would stop smoking yourself! I thought that if you would see me smoking, and that if you thought you were the reason I was destroying my lungs, that you would stop! But apparently, I was wrong! Because the only person you care about more than yourself, is your-fucking-self! You don't care if others pick up nasty habits because of you! You don't care if-"

"Oh shut the fuck up Renee! Who the fuck stood at the airport for five hours, waiting for your fucking flight to come two years ago? Who wrote a song for you because two years ago, you said that you wished someday, someone would write a song for you? Who walked you home in the middle of the night so you wouldn't get raped? Who stood up to a fucking teacher for hitting on you? Who trashed someone's car? Who the fuck took you in when you were homeless and broke? Hm? You're right, seriously! I don't give a fuck about people because people don't give a fuck about me! I know I'm not good enough, and you don't need to remind me how fucked up my life is, but don't you dare say that I don't care about you because that's fucking bullshit! I may not love you, but you were the closest fucking thing I've ever felt to love two years ago!"

I was speechless and felt like I had a knot in my throat and stomach. He was so right and I felt extremely guilty for accusing him of anything. He was always right.

He turned away and entered the room, before he slammed the door as he left.

I didn't bother going after him, I didn't want the whole house to get involved, so I just changed into my pajamas and got into bed, putting Hey There Delilah on replay.

I fell asleep before he came home, but I woke up in the middle of the night because the music stopped due to low battery.

After I plugged my phone in, I was ready to get back into bed, but I spotted Niall laying on his back and I was 90% sure he was staring at the ceiling with a hand under his head and ankles crossed in his cotton pajama pants.

I neared the bed carefully, because I hated when we fought. I hated the thought of him being mad at me, even though he had all the rights to.

I got on the bed, not bothering to pull the blanket off because it was unusually warm tonight, even though Niall was wearing a large sweater.

"I'm sorry.", I said but he didn't reply. I scooted closer.

He turned his head to me and rolled his eyes, looking back at the ceiling. It was when I was cross-legged on the bed next to him that I realized he had earphones on.

I could hear music coming from them, so I decided to poke him in the stomach, which caused him to pause the music from his iPod and get his earphones out.

"What?", he snapped.

"I'm sorry, Niall. For being a bitch. I was just-I was worried, okay? When I heard that someone had lung cancer, I was so scared because I thought it was you."

He stared at me for a second, before his left arm darted out to grip into my right leg and pull it over his waist so I would straddle him. The movement was a bit rough and I felt like I was being manhandled, but I didn't mind.

His fingers ghosted over the exposed skin of my thighs, tapping against it.

"I was- I don't know, I guess I was angry because you said that I don't care about anything but myself, which, I know, it seems that way because I'm extremely punk rock but it's not true."

"Oh you're very punk.", I said smiling, trailing my fingers up his arm, under his sweater.

"This is my favorite sweater.", he told me.

"Oh I'm sure you got it at a really punk store. By the way-"

"If you're about to make Justin Bieber joke right now please don't. Now is not the time. Actually, never make a Justin Bieber joke ever again."

"But Niall, a great man, and one of your idols, once said to never say never."

I was about to laugh at my own pathetic joke, when I suddenly traced what I knew for sure were thin, rough lines on his wrists with my fingers.

"Did you do these today?", I asked rolling off of him and on his side.

He shrugged, which meant that he did.

"I'm sorry if I triggered you to do this.", I said and leaned up on my left elbow.

"It's gotten a really bad habit and I can't stop.", he said and I felt my heart break because he sounded so vulnerable.

I shuffled down on my side and risked putting my head on his chest, feeling his warmth radiate through the sweater. He didn't protest so I took it as a good sign and threw my leg over his thighs.

"I almost forgot how warm you were.", I mumbled as I slowly fell asleep with him breathing into my hair:

"I almost forgot how perfect you fit against me."

---

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