"Honestly, just give up."

Perseverance is key they said.

You shouldn't give up on your dreams, they said.

If you fail, don't stop trying they said.

Well if it isn't the world feeding you bullshit. If you failed multiple times to the point of fucking you over, maybe consider thinking about doing other things instead. Maybe it wasn't your calling, maybe you were destined to something or someone else.

His dedication and perseverance is sweet and endearing, okay he got that down, but you've already rejected him multiple times. It was getting quite inconvenient and annoying as fuck for you if you have to be unfiltered to him. You have no interest towards romancing anyone at this time, why can't he respect that?

News report, Tartarus intern Y/N L/N sues the movie industry for romanticising courting. They claimed that the Pro Hero Hawks would not stop sending them gifts and offers a romantic advance despite rejecting him many times, as he claims he's never giving up until they accept this offer.

"Look, you're a nice guy and all, but I am not interested at all."

It's not like you hate him, you like the Pro Hero for his dedication to saving Japan, doing his best to keep things safe. He is persistent, that's what you'd say but you aren't really into him as he is into you. Like I said, you don't hate him, but you don't like him in that way. But the problem is, he never stopped. No matter how many times you tried, he's still acting like his own flirtatious jackass self to get into your heart.

"I'm too busy and tired to engage in this bullshit, okay?"

You weren't interested in him, you weren't interested in romancing someone right now, you aren't ready for one right now. You were busy with studies, your internship to a major facility, tending to personal issues, attending a few therapy sessions, raking every single opportunity to gain monetary support and fuck ton of shit to get down and you have no time to get into some deep bullshit caused by love...

"Are you sure?" The Pro Hero asked, eyes averted away from yours.

"What?"

"Are you sure that's the reason why you're rejecting me?"

To be honest, you need to be honest to yourself sometimes. What is your real reason, why you're rejecting Hawks left and right? You weren't that busy despite me listing the bullshit you need to get done, you're in college with a time management abilities of an inanimate object but you still managed. It's college, you're used to it.

But what is your real reason?

Was it because of him?

The wound still feels fresh despite it happening in about, what was it? Three years ago? Three years is long, but everything seems to occur like a lightning strike. So sudden, so strong, so loud... But it left a permanent damage that's uneasy to fix back up again.

Was time management your reason to why you keep rejecting Hawks romantic advances? Or were you still silently grieving about the person you lost all those years ago without a proper goodbye? Hell, you don't even know if it's considered good bye when he just ran off to somewhere else.

Ahh, the mysteries.

You love mysteries if it's done properly in literature and entertainment, but goddamnit does it feels so awful in real life.

The goddamned four eyes ran off without a trace and you were to blame. Instead of helping him out, you resorted into using that pretty mouth of yours to do things he never liked. You lied to him, with an indifferent expression like how you would tell him the truth, oh the monster who managed to lie to him. It was your fault to begin with, you should've helped him all those years ago when you saw all the signs, you had the chance to easily ask him to stop, beg him, now it's gone. He was gone like a smoke in a clearing without a trace of evidence other than the broken wreckage he caused in your heart and mind. And it was your fault.

You looked up to the Pro hero. He was expecting your answer to his question, is Time Management your problem to why you're rejecting him? Or something else? To you it was something else, but who were you to pour your emotional baggage to the poor Pro Hero you didn't want to involve in your messy ass life.

"Yes, what makes you doubt me? You think trash like me would be busy to do something else?"

If there's anything you're good at, you were good at lying, according to him. The best liar there is, the Royalty among the snakes of deceit. And he is right, it became a second nature of yours to look indifferent when you're telling a lie, a quite convincing one.

The Pro Hero budged with a sigh, concluding his thoughts. You knew what's up with him, the Pro Hero with extensive training of everything. The master of deceit, the reader of emotions within a blink of an eye he is able to identify what you are feeling. And you were challenging him in this little game. He is good at this but you were better. You're certain of it as you won this little game of deceit.

"I'm sorry I didn't listened the first time..." The blonde male rubs the back of his head, the silky feathers swaying by the gentle surge of the breeze by the sea, the light of the sunset perfectly coating it's surrounding within its golden light creating an ethereal glow throughout the environment.

"It's alright. You're alright." You sighed, finally getting a hold of yourself with relief for once in your pathetic life. "It's getting late. I have to go. Good bye. It's nice talking to you." You walked off without saying another word, not turning back to take another glance at him.

"Good bye... Y/N..."

It was cold of you to do that, but you're just too exhausted with bullshit to deal with. It was insensitive of you to hurt his feelings like that, but you feel sorry for him, but why would you apologize you didn't return your feelings for him? It wasn't your fault so why say sorry? It's not like it'd do something better for him.

Sighing, you rubbed your arms. You silently cursed under your breathe for leaving your jacket in the car, but whatever, you were returning to it anyways.

If only things were easy back then, you wouldn't deal with this bullshit... It all started with him. Would your life feel different without meeting him that fateful day?

It's been a long time ago... What was it? Eight years ago? You winced at how years passed. Eight years huh? It felt like last month. But then again, oh why must time do you like this? The existential bullshit is maddening and it's just time, why does it upset you?

Was it the fact the happiest memory of your life became just that... A memory. But came after those memories were the despair inducing events of your life. A massive butterfly effect you've seen in your life.

From the first time he was stubborn as you were, there came friendship, soon evolved to romance, escalated to distance, misunderstandings, deceit, misery, a one hell of a messy break up, a gunshot or two, depression... Now that you've listed them, it seems short but if feel so short. Ahh, why does thing seems to eventful, yet so... Short and fast?

Ugh... It's all so messy. Life, why must it fuck you up? If you did t met him, what would happen? Would you be going in a different path? Would you be more different from you are now? Would your life be less shitty if you didn't associate yourself with that window face-

You shook your head. If there's anything, he was the best damn thing in your life. Due to unresolved circumstances, you couldn't move in and who wouldn't?

"Perseverance is bullshit, I said."

Heh, isn't that quite hypocritical of you... Three long years, you held on strings with nothing but a false sense of hope. All because of him. All because you believed he'd come back when clearly, he broke down because of you.

The cold sensation wrapped around your finger seemed to grow colder. Glancing at it, you spotted the silver bond resting on your ring finger, reflecting the golden glow the sun shone down upon you. Ahh, the hopes and dreams never died even if it hurts you.

The first time you meet him... He was cautious over nothing. It was fun and game of trying to convince him you were up to no bad, you swear... Oh all those fun times. If only you could relive it all, or better yet, you could live through it all again and changed the things that happened. That way, maybe both of you would be happy.

That way, he would probably wearing the identical bond on your finger. That way, there'd be no more suffering. That way... Oh that way you'd still be with him.

But it was too late. It's gone. Fired and fucked up, like a burning house back then, until it became this old burnt house that stood within it's place, untouched and unresolved that served no purpose other than being a reminder of a small disaster that could have been prevented like a lot candle by a curtain.

Oh if you could live another life...

You'd keep all your promises.

It would be you and him against the world, not at against each other.

In another life, you would make him stay.

So you don't have to say he was the one that got away.