I need someone to hug me and tell me I am not worthless as I think I am.

Chapter 3: Worthless.

I was brought out of my self-pity world by the endless banging on the bathroom door.

Hmm..... let me guess who was it... Ohh!!! of course... Its my great husband. He is not just knocking but now also started to yell as I knew it would be about forgetting to wake him up.

You worthless woman! You cant even do a thing correctly. I dont have much time left for the office. Get the hell out of the damn bathroom! Im getting late because of you. Cant you do one thing right?. I missed my morning jog He began again.

Hey, woman! Get out of the bathroom now! he shouts over and over from the other side of the door.

I shuddered my head as I gradually got out of the bathtub and wore a bathrobe and took a towel to dry my hair getting out of the bathroom. As I leave the bathroom to see my husband standing next to the door with a furious expression on his face.

By the expression on his face, I could understand that he wanted to say something, shout at me but he just pushed me out of his way and enters the bathroom.

I go into the walk-in wardrobe as my usual habit after him entering the bathroom, I normally take out his clothes but my hands stop in mid-air before I remove his clothes from his side of the wardrobe.

I stopped my old habit and turned to my part of the wardrobe to take out my clothes. I took out a light candy apple red shirt, daily pale blue color trousers with a black color matching undergarment.

For the first time after 12 years, in my 14 years of marriage, I made chai (Indian tea, added with milk) for myself, not some modern green tea or some fancy coffee, just for myself, as I like it, I took and sat on the kitchen island, without caring what my family and the maids might say.

The clock hanging on the kitchen wall showed 7:40 am. Its about time Aryan will leave for office. I havent made any breakfast but I dont want him to go without having anything so I took out a bowl, and carton milk, put some packed fresh fruit in the bowl, and a box of fruity cereals and kept it on a side on the kitchen table. Before his footsteps, I heard his typical cursing.

Woman where is the breakfast! I am getting late! Not everyone is as free as you, just staying at home and being lazing around, Damn it! he shouted again.

I quietly without even looking up towards him, just kept my head down, my eyes fixate on a cup of tea, slowly prod the box of cereal in front of him to eat.

I dont know why but he got quiet. He was not shouting, cursing, or taunting me as usual, just gave a sharp exhale. He soon grabs the bowl kept for him and filled with cereal and milk. As he turns around I heard more pairs of footsteps coming downstairs to the kitchen.

Mom! We are late. You didnt wake us up! mom my eldest son yelling in a loud tone just like his father. Behind him is his twin brother Arpan entered the kitchen. Theres nothing to eat. Mom! lastly my youngest child and only daughter whines. I made a gesture with my hand towards the cereal box without looking at anyone of them.

What? Mom!!! I am not eating cereal. I want my pancakes right now. Anaya whines stomping her foot on the floor, I look at my already cold chai as I got up, went to the sink, and drained half of the untouched tea.

Quietly, I started to wash the cup. Soon a bowl was placed on the side of the sink, by my husband.

"I will tolerate with you only for today, I am already late because of your attitude. Dont you dare to continue this behavior again!", with that he gave a sharp glare turned to leave for the office.

But not before giving a kiss on the Anayas forehead and hugging to both Arjun and Arpan sideways.

I dont mind if he doesn't even wish me good morning or goodbye but he never forgets to wish his kids. The same way the kids, no morning greetings for me, but they never forget to wish their dad. For a moment I felt jealous of my husband, it aches my heart that they never greet me.

I sigh as I stare at his bowl before washing it.

I turn around to see Arpan was eating the jam and bread, Arjun has bread and peanut butter out and Anaya well she was just standing there with her hands folded at her front.

I walk past her towards the kitchen door as she continued to whimper Mom! Where are you going? I want pancakes! I am not eating anything else. Make them. she said or more likely she ordered me... she just spoke like her father.

I remember a quote back in my school days during the parent-teacher meeting the mothers of my friends saying this Father like daughter I took a deep breathe... some people are just born lucky.

Ask your father to find a new servant, cause this one is resigning, I pointed at myself and said it very calmly, as I went upstairs.

Mom wait! MOM! Anaya called out me again, I stopped, and sternly replied.

Its getting late. You should leave. And I think you have enough pocket money to buy from a cafeteria so you can definitely buy your pancakes over there. I made my way upstairs without waiting for her reply.