CH.3
Sayuri's POV
When I got home from the doctor, I felt drained. All my energy was gone. I just wanted to sleep and not wake up. I dropped my things in the table my the couch when I saw a small note. It was from Sanosuke. I read it and dropped it on the floor. Well, what more of bad news could a person get in a day? I went up stairs to the bedroom and decided to just lay down.
After some time I woke up. I guess I fell asleep right away. Getting out of bed, I walked down stairs. The whole house was dark except the kitchen. The kitchen light was on and I could hear someone was in there. Walking in, I saw Sanosuke sitting down. In front of him, was a folder.
"Sorry I didn't hear you getting home. Did you wait alot?" He shooked his head. "We need to talk." I nodded. "Sure, what is it?" I asked while getting a glass of water. "Could you please just sit down." Pointing the chair in front of him, I made my way towards it. I sat down and looked at him.
He opened the folder and handed the documents to me. When I read the title on then, my heart dropped. I only blinked and try to hold on my tears. Finally, taking a few breaths I gather my courage to look at him. "I want the divorce. Things are going for the worse in this marriage. I don't feel the same anymore. And I think it's for the best."
I couldn't say anything. I felt something inside of me break. I wanted to cry and yell, but I just couldn't. The knot in my chest was the only thing keeping me from crying. I blinked a couple of times more. And looked up at him again. I smiled and nodded to him.
"I'll sign the papers, but in exchange of something. One request is all I want." He rolled his eyes. Those eyes that once held love towards me. "What is it?" "My one and only request is, that you hug me everyday for the rest of the month." He looked at me confused. "Hug you?" I nodded. "That's the only thing I want."
He still looked confused but nodded also. "Am also moving out. Am going back to my old apartment. I already have my things ready in the car. You can keep the house." I shooked my head. "No that's OK. By the end of the month, I will leave. Then you can move back." Confusion again passed on his face.
"Sayuri, I don't want you to have to look for a new home. Besides when we got married I told you that this would be your home." Once again I said no with my head. "Is won't need it. Just...give me until the rest of this month. The day I give you the papers back with my signature, I'll give you the house back." He nodded and looked down.
"Am sorry. I hope you can forgive me someday." I smiled. "Don't be. Things happen for a reason." He stood up and pushed the chair towards the table. "And about the hug.." I cut him off before he could finish. "Just show up when ever I text you. I promise I won't bother you when your busy." He nodded "Ok"
He walks towards the kitchen door, but I call after him. "Sanosuke, could I ask you a question?" He turns around and nods. "Did you ever loved me?" His face softens and he looks down. "Yes with all my heart." Nodding and smiling I look down. Afraid of letting my tears fall down, I grab the papers and put them in front of my face.
I hear him sigh and walk away. Then he walks through the front door. When I hear the door closed, everything I was holding in comes out. Looking at my hands I see my wedding ring. Taking it off I put inside the folder. "With all your heart. And I still love you with all my heart."
I stood up and walked towards the living room. I turn on the lights and for the first time I felt compleatly lonely. The only sound in the house was my sobs. I took the picture frame that I was holding on to last night and hugged it. "One month. One month and I won't see you again." But if he wasn't happy anymore, who was I to stop him.
Especially if he didn't love me anymore. And even if it kills me more inside, am sure his happiness was with Chizuru. Am no longer in his heart or mind. I lost him for ever, and am only left with this pain and emptiness inside of me.
My vision started to blur and I felt dizzy. I slowly sat down on the floor. My head started to hurt once again. I let go of the picture, and hold my head with both hands. This time I couldn't stop my self from screaming. The pain was unbearable. "Please make it go away! Please! I need more time! Just for the rest of this month! Just this month god! Please" I pleaded.
The pain was worse then before. "Just for the rest of the month...just for the rest of the month..." I kept on repeating until I lost consciousness.
Harada's POV
I was lost for words. She agreed with out any though. I thought that maybe she would try and change my mind. But that wasn't the case. She even smiled. I didn't know how to feel. Part of me was relieved that it didn't end badly but then the other part of me wanted to take back what I had said.
But maybe she had stopped loving me also. Maybe she was waiting for me to make the first move and ask her for the divorce. "No, she's not like that. She...just gave up on us. On me." While driving to my apartment, I kept on thinking on her request. "Hug her for the rest of the of the month." The way she said it, the way her eyes showed some kind of emotion had my chest hurt.
While waiting on a red light my phone vibrated. It was Chizuru calling me. "Hello?" I answered. "Hi. Am sorry if am bothering you. I know you said you had somethings to do but I really need to talk to you." She sounded worry. "Is something the matter?" After a few seconds later she answer. "I have something to tell you, but it's better if I told you in person."
"Ok I'll go to your apartment in about ten minutes. Then we can talk, ok?" She agreed and we hand up. I made a u turn and made my way towards her apartment. "What could she want to talk about?" I asked my self. When I finally arrived I made my way towards her apartment. After knocking a few times she opened the door.
She greeted me with a hug. "Hi, am sorry it's just it's something really important." I kissed her and smiled. "Well i have something important to tell you too." She pulled me towards the couch. Smiling she sat down and I did the same. "Ok well you tell me first, what is it that you want to tell me?" She asked. I gave her a small smiled. "Am getting a divorce. Sayuri agreed to sign the papers."
I left out the request. I think i could at least do that for Sayuri. When I looked at Chizuru's face she had the biggest smiled. She hugged me. "Well then I guess you will love the news am about to give you." She said pulling away from me. Standing up, she ran to her bed room and came out with something in her hand.
"I know it's something we both didn't planed, but...am pregnant." I stood up and she handed me the object in her hand. It was a pregnancy test. I looked at it and it was positive. Then I looked up at her again. I didn't know what to say. Chizuru was smiling the whole time but after noticing that I didn't say anything her smiled faded.
"Are you not happy? I-I though that maybe the news would bring happiness to you." Her eyes begun to tear up. I shooked my head and smiled. "Of course am happy. It's the best news I've gotten today." I said hugging her. He hugged me back. "Really?" I pulled aways and saw she was crying. I smiled and kissed her on the lips. "Yes, really." Kissing her again, I carried her to her bedroom.
Looking at the clock, I saw that it was past midnight Chizuru was asleep beside me. She looked so peaceful. The news of the baby brought joy to me. But then at the same time, Sayuri was in my mind. The memory of the day she told me about her pregnancy. How she had made a special dinner for me, and after diner during dessert she handed me a small bag.
Inside the bag was a small card. When I opened the card it had the pregnancy test with the word "Your going to be a daddy soon." That day was the happiness day of my life. We were having a baby. But that memory was pushed back with the memory of today. Of me handing her the divorce papers. And now with Chizuru telling me about her pregnancy.
The both news I received them so different and reacted differently. Even though both news brought joy to my life, it felt different in so many ways. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone. I grabbed it from the nightstand and saw it was a message. It was a message from Sayuri.
"Sorry to message you at this time. But could we met tomorrow at the park next to the library?"
With out any thought I reply.
"Sure, is 6pm ok with you?"
I waited for her response. She reply and I put my phone away. "A hug every day. For the rest of the month." That request also kept on replaying in my mind. It was a weird request, but I would do it. It's just for the rest of the month...and after this month, I might never see her again.
I closed my eyes and sighted. What's the point of the hug every day? Why did she request only that? I looked down at Chizuru's face. I did the right decision, right? Then if i really think that, why do I feel how I feel? Why is Sayuri in my mind and not Chizuru. I love Chizuru. "Right?"
Why am I having a conflict with my self? Why now? I looked back at the clock and I noticed that that I had only a couple of hours left for sleep. But sleep was the last thing in my mind. I need to clear my mind. To think of the baby that is on his way. To sort my thoughts.
I closed my eyes and the image that I would see was of Sayuri's eyes. "What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I stop thinking about her?" Chizuru moving made me come back to reality. "Is so thing wrong?" She asked still with her eyes shut. " No nothing is wrong. Go back to sleep." I pushed her back to bed and pulled the covers over her. I looked at her sleeping face again. And for once in my life I felt empty, like I was missing something. And that something or more like someone was Sayuri.
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