A life with her

Landon

I was dreading for this day to come.

I was quite enjoying this life. Living on my own, I mean. Having no one to tell me what to do or stop me from doing things. And I had been doing just that, indulging myself with work, non-stop, pure commitment, enough for my wondering thoughts to just be vacant.

Stopping, no forcing myself not to flip through my phone and once again go through the picture of the only girl that existed there, her face still a mystery for my brain to crack.

I look at my watch just as I finish signing the last document for the day. I know it was getting late, but I was in no hurry for the evening to come by.

A knock on the door and Cassy walks through with a suit in her hand. "Mr. Carver, here's your suit for the evening and I also got a call from Mrs. Carver again. I have informed her you'll be on your way soon."

Rubbing the tiredness off my eyes, I release my tense breathing. "Thank you, Cassy, that'll be all for today. You may leave as well."

"Have a good evening, Mr Carver." Cassy places the suit on the sofa before she leaves the room.

And with a sigh, I turn back in my chair to stare at the once blue-sky turning copper. I get lost for a moment, in my own thoughts, of our inevitable meeting, of what the future would look like now that I had someone in my life, from one empty life to another empty one.

And too soon the sky turns dark as the sun decides to once again start my torture. It sets over the horizon, waking me up into my reality, reminding me once again of who I was and where I was meant to be. So, I get off my seat and head over to the attached suite to get myself freshened up and ready for the night.

To add a little bit of life to the void, if that was even possible.

***

Looking at the reflection in the mirror, I lazily adjust my sleek black tie, I was in no hurry to arrive at my destination, infact, I was already running a little late. Calmly putting my arms through the matching black coat, I push my dark hair away from my face.

But seems like I was more than ready. So, with another sigh, I depart for the night.

Everything after that happened so fast, the elevator that seemed to take forever, took no time at all. The half an hour journey seemed like a minute to the lobby.

And the moment we enter the perimeter, the flashing lights and the shuttering of the cameras welcomes me along with the crowd that had formed by the huge gate. Desperate to get a shot, make a story for tomorrow's headline. They were harsh, selfish, unintentionally mean and I had no interest in mingling with any of them.

I was very glad when the security steps in shortly and steers the crowd clear off the driveway so Eric could drive into the now private property, away from their prying eyes. And when he stops the car right in front of the entrance, I get off adjusting my suit.

"Thank you, Eric."

Taking a lazy step at a time, I ascend the stairs, quietly following the slow-moving crowd into the building. I try and steer clear of everyone's eyes, with only occasional nods to a few people and even less conversation as I wheeze past the corridor and into the main hall, trying to locate the main people of tonight that made this possible.

Scanning the crowd from the entrance, I locate them in the centre, forming a group of their own and I quickly make my way towards them, trying my best to put a smile on my face but failing to do so. However, it was time to announce my entrance, make my presence known before they start sending everyone after me.

"Landon, there you are." My mother's bright smile welcomes me before her warm embrace does. "We have been waiting for you. What took you so long?"

I let go of her to greet the others. "Sorry, got caught up with some work."

"Considering you had work to do, this girl is late even though she had nothing to do." Mrs Cheong complains but smiles through her tight lips with an apologetic look on her face. "What's taking her so long to get ready?"

"Don't worry Mrs Cheong. The night is still young. There's no hurry." Her eyes scans the floor right above, as if she hoped to see her there. "Oh, by the way, this is Aleks, Mae's closest friend." I give her a curt nod and go back with my conversation with her before Amy joins a moment later.

"Welcome back Landon." Amy smiles greeting me like she usually does.

"It's good to be back, Amy." Amy was Mrs Cheong's assistance and a very talented stylist. I have met her a few times in the past, but I guess I'll be seeing her more often too now that I was back.

She nods her head as she turns around towards Mrs Cheong. "Mrs Cheong, she's ready."

I guess it was time now. For her to finally make her appearance into my life. Intending to fill those empty gaps in my life. To end my life of a bachelorette.

But before they could even leave the circle, someone else appears from the crowd and whispers in Mrs Cheong's ear. "Gone?" I would have loved to say all this noise cancelled her word, but her voice was well, very audible.

At this rate, I doubt we will ever meet in this lifetime.

I smile innocently and look away from them, pretending not hear what she had just said out loud, when a glimpse of something pulls all my attention towards it. I catch a view of her back as she glides away, those soft black hair dancing against her back, a contrast to her long shimmering coral dress.

She stands out from this crowd as she bolts out, rushing past everyone and out to the empty corridor. There was just something about her that tightened the knot in my heart. I was left frozen as I watch her back disappear into the night.

But the longer I stare at her disappearing back, the more my heart squeezing tightly, daring me to defy it. "I'm sorry but I'll be right back."

And just like that, my still feet takes action, tracing her steps out into the empty corridor. The distant clicking of her heels, the only guide to my unknown destination. It leads me to the back of the building, an exit that I hadn't quite gotten to explore myself, but all I could hear now was just the night. Her footsteps now dispersed into the dark, leaving me with just silence and a sweet melody of the piano far away.

Although slow, my feet still moves forward, my brain unable to process what my heart was feeling and my eyes longing for something, not just this glimmer of the light against the dark night. Releasing a sigh of disbelief, I shake my head at the stupid behaviour that I had displayed.

"Just what is wrong with me?"

I stop by the top of the staircase and hold my head up to the night. Closing my eyes, I inhale deep breaths, calming my somehow restless heart, but the air around me just wouldn't let me. For tonight, it carried a familiar scent with it, one that I didn't quite recall but one that I couldn't forget. My eyes fling open and immediately searches for the source of the scent when I hear a small whimper. And immediately, my heart thumps once again as I lower my gaze and I just forget to breathe.

Because there she was. The girl in shimmering dress.

That long skirt of hers now sits around her, decorating the empty stairs, glimmering against the dark, a perfect reflection of the heaven above. She sits crouched on the stairs, that black hair of hers, falling everywhere and her gorgeous, tanned skin peeking through that slit of her skirt. The beauty in front of me knocks my breath away, it blows my mind and makes me speechless, my lips parched.

And once again, my feet slowly moves on their own accord, a step at a time, I descend down the stairs, in desperate hopes to know more, to see more. My heart thumps harder with every step I conquer and almost explodes as I stand next to her, my eyes forever fixated on her.

Time finally freezes.

"It hurts." A voice so soft, just a whisper and my heart goes wild. Involuntarily, I take two more steps down and stand directly in front of her.

"Are you okay?" I lick my dry lips and somehow utter those words out.

I watch as those little movement of her shoulders now comes to a complete stop. A moment passes by when she slowly brings her head up, wiping her face clean before she looks up. And I'm finally blessed with that all too familiar round black eyes, but now filled with a hint of sadness and hurt.

Those sinner eyes looks into mine and once again I'm completely dazzled. I forget to breath as I stare deep into her eyes, the eyes of an angel, the one that I had fallen hard for, the one that I had given my heart to and my everything along with it.

Those black eyes glistens in the dim light, borrowing the lights from around, those soft cheeks still hold the remnants of hurt and it breaks my heart instantly as she starts to sniffle lightly.

Instantly, I go down on my knees and search for any injuries, to mend the broken, anything and everything to make her feel better, to stop those tears that was starting to rain down once again. "Are you hurt somewhere? It's okay. Tell me if I can help you. But please." I ramble like a lost puppy. "Please. Please just don't cry."

But it only makes her cry louder and she brings her hands to cover that angelic face of hers. "I-it hurts. My ankle..."

My eyes immediately falls on her now swollen ankle and I curse myself for not noticing it earlier. With much care, I gently hold her feet and swiftly remove her heels, not wanting to cause further pain but I knew that the pain was inevitable. I place my hand on her heel and the other right above the ankle. "I'm sorry."

She lets go of her hands, blessing me with those confused dark eyes now and a cute furrow of her brows, "Why are you-"

"This is going to hurt a lot." And without any more warning, I twist her ankle back in place.

Her scream echoes the night, her hands now tightly wrapped around and digging my arm, and her face hidden away within them as she sobs harder in pain. "I'm so sorry."

But she continues sobbing and it breaks my heart further to hear her cry. It curses me even more as those tears soaks the sleeves of my suit, for I was the culprit, the source of her tears, her pain.

"I'm so sorry." And I too curse myself as I continuously apologise, begging her to stop shedding those tears. But I had knowingly hurt her.

When her sobs finally dies down, she lets go of my arm and leans away from me. And I immediately miss that touch, the warmth of her body, all and everything, I want her back. I want her to hold me tight. Forever.

The only thing that held me back was the fact that I got to see her face now. I watch her as she wipes away the remainders of her pain and I barely contain myself from cupping her small face in the palms of my large hands and promise to never hurt her again. Promise her all the happiness in the universe. But I clasp my hands tight and hold back, biting the inside of my cheeks.

"I'm sorry."

Those are the only words that I could say to her now, my face as apologetic as my heart. Her eyes finally flickers onto mine as she straightens herself and clears her throat. "It's not your fault."

And that voice. The voice that forever made my heart flutter, even though forgotten, it still remembered. That voice. The voice of the girl it gave its all to and itself became lifeless in the process, an empty canvas. How much I missed it? How much I longed to hear it? How much it pained me to pretend as if I had forgotten it all.

Unable to bear the halo of the angel, I look down at her ankle once more. "Can you try moving it now?" And her little feet wiggles cutely, making a small movement and it makes my lips curve up. "Does it still hurt a lot?"

I look back at her as her eyes remains locked on her feet and I take this chance to once again read her face, remember every curve and line, everything that had become hazy in my mind, once again becomes sharp and clear.

Over the years, she had aged beautifully, she still looked the same just with a subtle difference, but forevermore, angelic. Here I thought, I needed to see her one more time for a closure, so I could tell myself that it may just be a one-time thing. The face that took my years away, I foolishly thought that my feelings would disappear along the coming years.

And here I was, face to face, eye to eye, after all those years, but this heart of mine thumps like the time it did when I first saw her. These feelings that should have been long gone, or just hidden, resurface back. Just one more encounter and I was promising the world to her.

This woman that stands before me, but I still cannot touch. This woman that I want to be mine, but I cannot have. This woman that my heart desires.

"Oh my god, it doesn't hurt much now. What did you just do? Are you a doctor?" She smiles brightly, examining her feet while melting my heart away.

"No, but I was in the military, and I learned a few tricks there." And I replicate that contagious smile of hers.

"Wow. Thank you so much. You saved my life. Technically speaking you saved my feet but who cares." She shrugs her shoulder and giggles, my lips now stretched beyond limit. She just made my dull life, come alive again. I don't know how long it had been since I last smiled, since I truly smiled.

"You're welcome." I stand up and hold my hand out for her. "Can you stand?" She grabs my hand and I help her up, her height almost matching mine as she stands two steps higher. The warmth of her palm slowly transfers life into mine and I tighten my hold on her ever so slightly.

God, I want to keep holding this hand forever. And evermore.

"But I don't think I can go much further though." Her eyes remain on her feet, now hidden within the shimmering fabric. "I don't have my phone with me, if you don't mind can I-"

I bend down and grab her heel that was on the stairs and spoon my arms around her, lifting her as I stand on my full height. A small squeal leaves her, but it only makes me smile further. "What are you-"

"Don't worry, I got you." And I did. I look into her eyes, searching for recognition, even a hint of wondering thoughts about someone she might have met before. But those eyes that I had been completely hypnotised by, just looks into mine, with no more but a sweet smile in them.

"Thank you."

I never expected much though. I never thought that she will remember the guy she met once, that too years ago, and honestly it was okay. I was fine even if she forgot me because I remembered for us. I was just happy to finally have her in my arms. Even though it was not how I imagined our meeting to be, at least I got a chance to meet again.

She was light in my arms, her waist tiny and her scent forever addicting. And right then I was reminded once again of what I had missed, of what I had been thinking, dreaming about. Of what I was hoping to forever have.

I wished for a life with her.