No one

Landon

I had a lot of excuses made up, extending the period of my freedom. Some more time alone to myself. But this was the furthest I could go. Eventually my time has now come to an end. Soon, I too will lose my freedom to own my own thoughts and forever become prison to someone else's life.

Guilty as it may sound, I was still a little glad when I found out that she was not going to be around for a while. I almost felt a sense of relief. I guess I was still not ready even though I allowed myself all those times to erase those past emotions. But still, when the time actually came, I wanted to do nothing more than to hide in the roof of the barracks.

As I step a foot outside, the forever consistent British weather once again welcomes me back. Even in this summer day, it was dark and gloomy with a little sprinkle of tears here and there, probably a forewarning to my long years ahead. Years of internal emotional rollercoaster that was waiting for me.

With a deep sigh, I look around for a familiar blond hair amongst the crowd and soon someone comes to my view. I wave at him, gaining his attention and he comes marching in. "It's been a long-time sir. Please let me." Eric takes the massive bag off me and holds his free arm out to lead me towards the car.

"No need to be so formal, Eric." I walk towards the sleek black car and get inside the backseat as Eric helps me with my luggage. Resting my head back, I close my eyes, all noise now a distant hum to my ears.

"Home, sir?" I hear Eric as soon as the door slams shut.

"Home it is." I breath out, not bothering to open my eyes. The humming of the engine now was the only sound that I could hear which soon put me to a sleep with complete emptiness.

Pretty soon for my liking, I was inside the lift of the penthouse that I owned. Although, my tired body appreciated being back as it leaned all its weight on the cool metal wall, part of my brain was in a deep thought of its own, wondering, planning its next move.

I watch the numbers flick, increasing at a consistent pace, until it finally dings open, revealing the familiar interior. It has been almost a year since I came back here.

Getting off the elevator, I walk into the open space, leading to a wide living area. The glass window, decorated with tiny droplets, displayed the world outside which was now hidden within the greys. Dark clouds which looks reachable, hovers angrily blanketing the blue sky. Even the brightest sun seemed timid in this country.

But something bothered me as I stepped further into the open area. I felt a presence in the air, not necessarily at the moment but someone had been here recently, although the place itself looked very much untouched, the air carried a faint scent of a sweet perfume.

Assuming that my mum had probably been here, I take the bag off my shoulder, along with the doubts, and place it on the floor, beside the foot of the sofa before falling on it myself.

Staring at the white ceiling, I lay back with my head deep in the cushion. My life already drawn on them with invisible ink. By someone else.

Too tired to fall into the web of worries that I have created for myself and promising myself to ask my mum about her visit later, I close my eyes and sink deeper within the sofa, seeking peace and comfort whilst indulging into the sweet fragrance that it now held. It was faint, fading with time, but still the scent lingered around, especially right here.

It pulled me deeper. Hypnotising me. Addicting me.

And I couldn't help but snuggle further within its embrace.

***

"Mr. Carver, that's all of your appointments for today."

"Thank you, Cassy. You may leave now."

With a nod of her head, Cassy walks out of my office, closing the door behind her. It had been a few weeks since I was back. For the first week, I just stayed home till I got bored out of my mind. Even though my parents told me to take a break before I too joined the business, not having anything to do was a lot more frustrating. So, a week later, I officially joined. And here I was, working till I got exhausted.

Because anything else and my untamed mind will wonder off somewhere else. Imagine something that can never be seen with open eyes. Dream something that can never be a reality.

With a tired exhale, I fall back into the chair and twirl around to take in the view outside. The sky was slowly filling with another layer of copper, proclaiming the beginning of the moon's arrival, the ruler of the night.

I replay the past week, of what I had achieved so far, of what I was becoming. I was turning into a different person. Almost a robot. I was the last person to leave the building but also the first to arrive. I left only to have a few hours of rest and to freshen up. Most of my meals were delivered to my office which were left untouched more times than I could count, all my concentration and dedication to work alone.

Was this how the rest of the years ahead was going to look like?

I didn't mind the work. I could do anything and everything just fine and I was doing it. Every little thing. Anything to occupy my mind.

As I become hypnotised with the changing sky, my phone vibrates and dimly lights up the now dark room, alerting me of a new notification. Coming out of my daze, I turn around in my chair and look at the lighted screen of my phone to see a message from her. A photo message.

That was new.

She never sent any pictures before. We rarely just exchange texts. Getting curious, I press the notification and unlock my phone.

But what I see baffles me. I let go of my phone and place it back on the table, coughing a few times, but it only makes my throat drier.

What did I just see? Was that really meant for me? Did she get the number right?

Squeezing my eyes shut, I pinch the bridge of my nose. Just what was she thinking? Was she trying to get onto me? But what puzzled me more was the sudden boldness she presented because I thought her to be a little bit uptight or timid even. But not this- open?

"Let's just pretend that I never saw it." I try to calm myself, breathing deep and long. Just as I reach back for my phone to delete her current message, another comes right through and another.

Was she drunk? Had she been drinking? Where even was she?

If she was really drunk out of her mind somewhere, what will our parents think? They will most likely blame me for not looking after her. I know mine surely will. Just as I'm about to ignore her, somehow drunken mistakes, my eyes catches a back of a guy with his upper half bare. And this time it was a video.

I don't know why but something in me just couldn't seem to let this go. I press play on the video and soon her laughter comes ringing through and echoes across the room, somehow sending a chill through my body.

Did I know her from somewhere?

I see her running after a guy, barely covered in that two-piece bikini that she wore. Only her back visible to my eyes as she ran with her long black hair dancing freely behind her. She was petite but had a great body. A perfect curve to accentuate that slim figure. And I just couldn't take my eyes off her.

The guy now holds her by her small waist and spins her around, their naked flesh, flush to one another. The gust of air caused by the movement blows her hair across her face, blocking the view of her. I don't know why but I felt this prick in my heart. And the more I continued watching the video of them together, the more it angered me. But I didn't understand why I was feeling this anger.

I try and think of reasons to justify this feeling that was surfacing from somewhere even I didn't know of. And that's when I came up with one.

Because she is my wife.

That was the only plausible reason I got. What would others think if they saw my wife with another man? My family would be laughed upon. Yes, that was it. I'm angry 'cause she's ruining our image hanging out with some other guy, while she's still married. She could just file a divorce if this was what she wanted to do. But I will not allow it while she's still related to me.

And as I collect my thoughts, I quickly type in, asking her whereabouts. That was the quickest that I had ever typed. I go through the pictures once again as I wait for her to reply back.

But my collected thoughts soon scramble the more I look through her photos and the more minutes pass as I await her reply. Just how could she pose like that. Who was even taking those pictures? Doesn't seem like the guy in the video so, who took the video then? Were there more guys with her?

I stand on my feet as I get impatient. She seems to be somewhere on a beach. An island probably, judging by how clear the water was. Was she on a holiday far away?

Unable to wait any longer, I press the call button and put the phone against my ear. I pace back and forth as I impatiently listen to the ringing, waiting for the girl on the other end to pick up. And as the phone goes unanswered, it goes to voicemail soon after. I try again. And another time after that.

But it all seems futile as it goes to voice mail time and again.

Furious at this point, I was just about to throw my phone across the room when a realisation hits me. Why did I even care? I could have shown my care all those months ago when she used to message me, but I didn't. A one word answers every time. It didn't hurt when she stopped sending any messages, although I waited for them, day after day.

Wasn't this what I wanted? To not let her be in my life. To push her far so she would not be hurt. So, why was I hurt now that she was happy with someone else?

I never set rules for her. I never even acknowledged her as my wife. As mine. So now that she was happy and doing what she desired, who was I to tell her to stop?

I smile at myself, with a feeling that I just couldn't identify yet and put the phone deep within the pocket of my coat. Harshly rubbing my palm over my face, I wipe the stress off and dismiss all thoughts away. Thoughts that made me see red. Thoughts that I was not allowed to have. I do not even deserve to think anything of her when my own thoughts were filled of another.

So, I let go. Because honestly who even was I?

I was just another nobody that meant nothing to her. A husband only in names. I scoff at myself.

I really was no one.