Only You II

Maeve

In my dream, he loosens his grip around my body but not enough to entirely let me go. Slowly turning me around, one hand holding my hand to his chest, he brings his other hand to cup my cheek and unconsciously I lean in to the warmth that it held.

Then I feel a gentle touch, his forehead against mine. He nudges as if begging me to open my eyes and fall into his hypotonic ones.

But I squeeze my eyes close even tighter, biting my bottom lip to stop the trembling. He'll soon be gone. If- no when I open my eyes he'll be gone. So just wait a little while. Dream a little longer. His mirage will soon fade. And so will all his sweet words he just whispered.

And again, I shake my head. Listen to me Maeve, he is not real. Don't let the ghost of him get into your head.

"You're not real." I whisper out and remind myself.

But this feels so-so real. He feels so real. I feel his breathe fanning my face, his nose brushing against mine. I feel the small sparks trying to ignite into something big.

I feel...so much. Yet...

"Please."

I hear much more. I hear his pleas. The desperation in his voice. The thumping of his heart-

My guard slowly crumbling in, I lean into him.

"Stop..." I try to whisper.

"Please Maeve."

I bring my hands up in order to pull his hand away my face. In order to stop this hallucination. To stop myself from caving in. Save myself from falling deeper into the creation of my own destruction.

But I just cannot seem come out of this fantasy. His firm arms, holds me, his thumb brushes my wet cheeks.

"Maeve, please look at me."

"But you are not real." I tell myself. "You'll disappear once I open my eyes. You always do. You never stayed. You'll never stay. You-"

His thumb sits on top of my lips, stopping my blabber. "I promise I won't this time. So please- can you please open your eyes and look at me Maeve." His warm fingers lightly trace my hungry lips.

"Please. Just once."

I shake my head. Not again.

"Please...

Please..."

Only when his pleas disperse with the faraway buzz of the night, I obliged. I finally give in...

Taking in a deep breathe, I slowly flutter my eyes open, knowing all too well he will not be there to greet me.

Like all those other times...

I open my eyes expecting his absence in my life. I open my eyes expecting vacant space. Expecting nothing but-

-but I see him.

Through my blurred vision, I see a clear image of him.

He stands in front of him, his eyes and body alike, very much glued to mine.

His dark eyes glistens from whatever light it could reflect from the night. And in them, I see pain and a reflection of myself. I see exhaustion in the lines of his face. The subtle hollow and the sharp stubbles on his cheeks. The exhaustion had taken a toll on him. He had aged heavily since I last saw him.

But nevertheless, all this couldn't take his beauty away. It only elevated his features and made him look unworldly. He aged beautifully with time, and he looked just as heavenly as he did the first time I saw him in the heat of the summer.

Like an angle that fell right from the heavens...

"I love you." This man before me whispers, his voice lower than the silence of the night. His confession for no one but me to witness. For me to bear.

"Since the very first time I saw you. In the middle of the summer. In a land very much unfamiliar to me. I fell in love with you, Maeve. Just a flick of your hair." He holds a strand of my hair in his hand.

"And you took my breath away. My speech. I became mute. I was helpless in front of you. Just one look and I willingly became your captive." He then takes my hand and lets it rest on top of his heart again. "My heart told me the moment it knew you. That you were the one for me. It chose you and will only beat your name. Maeve, I fell for you right from the start. And immediately I started to dream of a life with you. Your smile, your laughter, your presence."

His thumb draws a small circle on my cheek as he looks me deep in the eye. "Only if I knew you sooner. Oh, how I wish I had listened to my parents and met you sooner. Maeve, I wish so much to go back in time and be with you from the start. Be there for you from the beginning."

He brings his forehead to mine and squeezes his eyes close. "I wish- so much. But I know I can't change the past."

When a hiccup escapes my lips and big fat tears my eyes, he immediately opens his eyes and tries to pull me into his embrace again. "Shh. I'm sorry Maeve. Please don't cry."

Shaking my head, I push him away. At least that's what I intended to do. "Then why? Why didn't you do anything? Why didn't you say anything?" I was a complete mess.

"Because I'm a fool. A loser."

I scoff but regardless, I couldn't stop the overflowing tears. With both his hands now on my cheeks, he wipes them away. "I love you Maeve." His touch so gentle as if I would break if he dared to hold me tighter.

"Can I?" He whispers, leaning in. "Please..." His lips almost touching mine, he holds himself back.

"And if I say no." After gathering myself, I look him in the eyes. And for a second, I see something in his eyes before he quickly covers it with a smile on his lips.

"I'm too late huh?" His hold on me slowly loses its grip and starts slipping away from my face. "I'm sorry for everything Maeve." I notice how his jaws clench together as he forces himself. "No matter-" He shuts his eyes for a moment and takes in a deep breath before he forces a sad smile to form on his lips.

"I'll be happy for you no matter who-"

Locking my arms around his neck, I lift myself up on my tiptoe and meet his lips. And as soon as our lips meet, I feel the sparks ignite into firework. This angel sets my world on fire. And I feel the heat. I feel his warmth. And when his wide eyes finally shuts close and his strong arms tightens around my waist, I feel safe. I feel secure. I feel my world come to a stop as he deepens the kiss and our body flush, leaving no space even for air to dare get in-between us. And I end up giving my myself to him.

The man whom I once gave my heart to. The one who once broke my heart. The man who stole my countless dreams. The one that caused me so much pain. I offer my all to him. My entirety. This time, holding nothing back. There was nothing I could hold back.

Now I was anything but a broken piece.

With one last peck on my lips, he finally pulls away from my sore lips. Eyes still closed, breathing heavy, he leans in again, his forehead resting on mine. His hands hold my face, and his thumb caresses my cheeks. And as if confirming that I was a reality and not a dream, he finally opens his eyes and looks deep into mine. Emotions swirling in the depth of the darkness that he held in them.

"I love you, Maeve. Only you."

And when the fire finally calms, I feel a sweet tingle. From the tip of my feet to the top of my head. I feel so much love and so much more. And leaning more into him, nose touching his, I smile and close my eyes.

Only you can break this heart. Only you can mend this broken heart.

Only you can hunt my reality. Only you can chase this nightmare away.

And only you can bring me such despair but its only you who can bring such joy.

And in this life, there's only you that I will ever want.

And there's only you that I'll ever love.