Season

Maeve

An angel came to my rescue.

And for the untempt time now, my heart flutters at the sight of a man.

Yes, my heart seems to be doing that a lot nowadays. Randomly just, you know, go crazy like that and make me wonder if it was still in one piece. Maybe there was something wrong with me.

That I don't know for sure.

Despite all my refusal, he still took me to the hospital and had my ankle wrapped up. And here I was, sitting by the waiting room as he chats with the doctor, thinking about another man who had made an entry into my life. But the more I think about it, the more familiar he looks, like I knew him from somewhere, like I had seen him somewhere. But where exactly, was the question.

"Shall we go now?" All my thoughts disperse as a fresh scent engulfs me as he puts his coat over me.

"Yes." I pull his coat around me as I get on my feet, silently and secretly breathing in his scent. For some weird reason, I craved it. I wanted more of that scent to cover me. I wanted to submerge in that bucket full of cologne. But I get as far as taking a step before I'm lifted off my feet. He carries me as if I weigh nothing and honestly, I did, but that only proved how strong he really was.

"I can walk you know." I make an attempt to free myself from his solid arms, somehow feeling caught and also in a need to get away from his touch because at the rate my heart was starting to beat, it was going to trade all my secrets soon. But he continues to walk, showing no signs of strains from my struggle. His arms only tightens as I wiggle.

"With that ankle of yours, not a chance."

So, I just sigh and hold onto my heels and let him do as he please. He puts me into the backseat of the car and himself takes a seat beside me. "Where do you live? I'll send you home."

And that raises an alarm, another question in my mind. Where really was I going for the night, the thought of returning to the apartment was not an option and so was going back to my parent's so, I guess Aleks it was.

***

We move through the city lights, the empty streets and a ride filled with a sweet silence. Occasionally, I would glance his way and find him already looking at me, and we both would turn away in an attempt to hide the embarrassment, the giddiness in my stomach. But that was just me.

Biting my lips hard, I try to hide the smile on my face and watch the dazzling lights pass by, but it was just impossible to remove the feelings that was spewing out right now.

As much as I would have loved the ride and the night to continue forever, the car comes to a halt in front of Aleks' apartment building. And too soon, it was time to say goodbye to the familiar stranger that I just met.

I turn to get off the car, but before I could even collect myself, he comes around and holds the door open with one hand stretched out for me. And I willingly take his hand and help myself out, trying my best to not cause any discomfort to my injured ankle and with a tight lip, I let go of his hand and watch him push the door close. His eyes flickers up the building and soon a frown appears on his handsome face.

"Let me help you inside?" He looks at me worriedly. Although I would have loved to spend more time with him, I couldn't be anymore selfish. I had already taken enough of his time. So, I just give him a small smile and hold the fabric of my skirt, pulling it a little higher. The white bandage and the hospital slippers now very visible.

"I think you patched me up pretty good. I'm good thank you very much. I should be fine from here on." I let go of my skirt, but his worried eyes still hovers on my feet. "It's already too late. I'm sorry for keeping you up into the night. I cannot thank you enough for your help. But still thank you."

He smiles a little as his eyes finally comes back on mine and makes my heart flutter once again. "You don't need to. I'm glad I could help. In fact, I'm glad we me-"

I scrunch my brows processing his words, but he stops mid-sentence and leaves me hanging. I open my mouth to tell him to complete his sentence, fill the gaps in my thoughts, but he scoffs, shaking his head and smiles widely. And I see it, although just for a second, the depression on his cheeks, a perfect set of dimples. Indeed, he was a man craved to perfection.

But something about him, reminds me of someone else. Someone that constantly hovers around my thought for me to forget but not in my life to remember. One thing I was certain, I had seen this man somewhere along the path that I have journeyed across.

That gentle eye, that sweet smile, that kind gestures, he was like an angel-

An angel!

That's what he was.

One who got lost in time. The one that constantly roamed my conscious and took shelter in my subconscious. The one that I was too attached to forget. No wonder this iron heart of mine crumpled the moment he walked back into my reality.

Here he was, once again, standing in front of me, just like that time. Just like that day. He looks at me with the same gaze, his smile forever spreading light into my heart.

He had aged with time and aged very finely. Now that I really look at him, he did look the same. Although it glowed brightly, those dark eyes that once captivated me, held a hint tiredness in them.

Who was I kidding when I say once? They still do.

We meet again-

-and again, at the wrong time in life.

I signed myself to someone else now, offered myself to somebody else. Even though we found each other, we cannot, we could never be together.

"Have a good night and thank you again." I smile at him bidding him goodbye and hold my hands out for my heels that he held onto.

He seems taken aback but quickly gathers himself and clears his throat, handing me back my heels. Just a slight touch, only the lightest brush of his warm fingertips against my cool palms, ignites a flame so hot.

"It was nice meeting you. Have a good night." And with just a curt nod, he gets into his car and drives off, away from me, as if he felt nothing at all.

"Goodbye."

I whisper into the night as I watch his car turn around the corner and disappear out of the sight. My heart ruptures and the tears it had been holding back, comes hailing through. It hurts to say goodbye to the same person twice.

I found my 'the one', again on a summer day. He came like a gentle breeze, with a halo over his head, saved me once again and just disappeared, without a trace. Not even a name.

I pull the coat tighter around myself, forgetting that I still had it with me. But I was glad I still had it. It was what kept me warm, even though he wasn't around, in some form he still was. So, I hold it tighter as a memento of the summer night. Of the one person that my heart forever desired. Of the man who was-

A man whom my heart dared to love...

I crouch down on the empty footpath, crying silently under the streetlight that shined so brightly in this dark night unlike my heart. I cry until my eyes go dry, until my heart can't feel anymore, until my mind becomes vacant and my body numb.

By the time, I make it inside, my bandaged ankle starts throbbing due to the strain put upon it by my unwise decision to take the stairs. But still I continue walking, not minding the pain, until I'm locked up in the spare bedroom that I have occupied here. I let go of the heels and pull the coat off me, and let it fall on the bed as I carry myself into the bathroom.

Standing in the shower, I twist the knob and let the water sprinkle all over me. The river that I thought had dried out, once again starts to stream as my heart reaches out to him and the ache becomes inevitable. I let the pitter patter of the water splattering against the tile flooring cancel the noise, the hurt in my voice and mute my hearts' existence.

I let go of everything as I sit under the shower head, emptying my thoughts, my heart and my soul. Because when I twist the knob back, I will awaken from this dream. I will once again place him deep down my heart and continue as I did.

Because after every summer comes another season, life goes on and I will go on along with it. 

And this time, I'll let him go-

-when the season turns rusty and gold...