It went on like that. I came to him when I was desperate. He gave me the things I believed that I wanted. We didn't talk afterwards. He only dirty-talked me during.

He knew exactly what I needed. And in all honesty, I thought he needed exactly the same as me.

We stood hand in hand at the beach. The hot and humid air was now such a familiar part of our lives that we didn't even think about it. Two years. For two years we'd lived here, built our lives here, visited the graves of my family and the place where we'd spread Henry's ashes in the ocean. I had started medical school here, which had been a challenge as it was one of the best ones in the world and the workload was astronomical. Tobirama was a politician here. It wouldn't surprise me if he was chosen for another four years, but I knew he would refuse. He had started writing books, fictional books under a ghost name because he didn't want his authorship to be connected to the fame he'd gained as a politician. And they'd sold exceptionally well. I'd read both, and I might've been biased, but I thought they were phenomenal. They were long, dark and eerie but basically read themselves. "Pageturners" was the word the critics had used.

"Tobes", I said softly, looking down on my family members' graves.

"Mmm?"

"Do you miss him?"

He was quiet for so long, I thought he wouldn't answer. And it wouldn't surprise me; we hadn't mentioned Henry since the war. We had visited the beach where I'd released his ashes into the ocean, but never talked about him. But finally, he did speak.

"There's not a day that goes past that I don't miss him", he said.

I wanted to ask him if he loved Henry romantically, but didn't dare to. It wasn't because I was afraid he would say yes; it was because I was afraid he would say no.

"Tobes", I said again.

"Mmm?"

"Let's go home."

"All right." He made to turn, but I held his hand so he stayed put.

"No, I mean home-home. The summer house."

The seed he'd planted.

"Izuna..."

Suddenly, I became very insecure and defensive.

"I know you have your life here! With your friends and our common friends and the gym and your job and your favourite spot for writing."

"Izuna-"

"I know you love our home and that you have a trail for running. And that this is the place where we can be close to my family and Henry."

"Izuna-"

"I know your old home is full of bad memories, but-"

"Izuna, please listen!"

I blinked.

"I thought I couldn't live there due to all the bad memories with my father. But every time we go there for Christmas and summer..." He entwined our fingers. "There are only the good ones." I stared at him. "I want to be back at the summerhouse with you. Wake up to the smell of your hair. I want to educate Dario. I want to teach you how to ride him. I want to see you graduate in our home country. I want to make love to you. I'm so tired of fucking you. I want to connect to your soul again. Izuna." He took me into his arms. "Let's go home."

That night was the first time in two years we made love. We had walked hand in hand back to our villa, and once inside, I put his fingertips to his cheek.

"Tobes..."

He immediately knew. He immediately knew that this time, it was different. This time, I didn't need him; I wanted him. He took my face in his hands and kissed me. His fringe, longer than what it had been, tickled my face as he kissed me. His missing ear still caused an eerie sensation between my fingers, the burn in the right side of his torso just as.

"I missed you so fucking much", he murmured.

I pulled my fingers through his hair. It was so long now, he could probably pull it into a ponytail. It was longer than mine. He pulled my trousers down and started circling my opening with his index finger while hugging me close, breathing heavily into my ear. He was so aroused, he was trembling. More aroused than he had ever been in these last two years, despite the situations we'd put ourselves in had been far more erotic. I bit his neck, and his knees buckled beneath him so bad, and I had to catch him.

"I love you", I said. "I love you endlessly."

When he was steady, I went down on my knees for him. He immediately unbuckled his belt and pulled his trousers down. I kissed his knees, up to his thighs, more to the middle. I saw Tobirama lean his head back and moan, putting his fingers in my hair softly, not forcing me to do anything yet showing me exactly what he wanted. I kissed his tip then, using my lips to massage it gently. He had to sit down on the kitchen table because I made him unable to stand. I took his entire length into my mouth then, until I felt it at the back of my throat and the root against my lips. He screamed. I worked him until he was close to the heavens, and as he was just about to go in through the pearly gate, I cut his wings so he fell from the skies. Blinded by pleasure, he slowly came back to find me naked on my back in front of him. He immediately went down on his knees and put my legs on his shoulders, lovingly grabbing the doughy softness around my waist. He didn't release my eyes once as he penetrated me, and started moving slowly, leaning in and putting a hand on my cheek. He connected our souls through our eyes in that way of his, bringing me back to everything we had been through together, every bump in the road, every glittery lake we'd stopped by to just indulge, every serpentine uphill ride that had resulted in a wonderful waterfall of glee. All of the love we'd shared, him and I. It was poured out in that one connection between him and me as he stood over me and carefully pushed himself in, bucking his hips, gently at first, and then all at once.

Afterward, he carried me upstairs, to bed.

"Eyes on mine", he said softly, taking the steps ever so slowly as he kept looking at me in his arms.

"You're not this slow for real!" I teased. "I know you can walk upstairs faster without looking! I've seen you texting and brushing your teeth at the same time as you've walked up these stairs!"

"But then I don't have a precious load like you", he said softly, as I know he would. I was just fishing for it. He kissed the tip of my nose and laid me down on he bed with the wooden frame and quilted, blue duvet, then clambered in after me, holding me close.

"Izuna", he murmured into my hair.

"Mmm?"

He reached his hand behind him. I tried to crane my neck to see what he was doing, but he gently used his shoulder to hide it. After a bit of fumbling, he fished something up.

"That's..." I begun.

Tobirama looked away. That was the first time in our life together I'd seen him blush. "Yeah..."

It was a bit of thick, yellow-tinted paper, neatly folded but without an envelope.

It was the letter Tobirama had left for me to read that first time he went to war, in case he died.

"Why are you giving this to me now?" I asked breathlessly.

He smiled a crooked smile. "It feels right", he said simply. "Now I have been able to show you my love again, it feels right."

"Should I..."

"Open it. Please."

My dearest Izuna,

I notice he found it extremely difficult to be by my side as I read it, that he'd rather me read it alone, that it was embarrassing him. But I was so glad he was there, my anchor, my safe spot, my everything to hold on to. I couldn't have finished it without him; it was so strong. Tears started streaming down his face before mine as he hugged me from behind, both of us sitting up, me in front of him with one of his strong legs on either side of me. I started wailing at the last lines, imagining a world where Tobirama was dead and I was left to pick up whatever pieces I could find of my shattered heart, knowing that it could never be all of them. I knew he was an author but not the magnitude to which he could put his heart on paper and sacrifice it to me.

Yours always,
T xxxxxxxx

"Tobirama, this is..."

I heard a sound then. It was one simple step out on the creaking wooden floor of our bedroom. We hadn't noticed anyone come in. We looked up, and I couldn't process what I saw. I was still living in a world where Tobirama was dead and saying goodbye to me.

"Lana", Tobirama said.

I think he immediately knew. I think he put the pieces together as soon as he saw her framed by our bedroom door, having sneaked into our home completely unnoticed.

For me, however, it took too long. Way too long.

"Why have you..." I begun, then noticed the bloody figure slung across her shoulder. No... "SEBASTIAN!!"

Tobirama immediately threw himself in front of me.

Had I not been so blind, I could've reacted. I could've reacted to prevent it from happening. But I didn't. I was too slow.

Lana lifted her gun and pointed it at me and shot.

But Tobirama was too quick. He lifted his hands and shot with a revolver he'd gotten from under the mattress without me even noticing. I had no idea he kept a gun there. He shot Lana directly into her brain. He skipped the legs this time. No time for that. The thoughts my chocked brain conjured up in this situation...

But Lana had fired her gun already and her bullet went straight though Tobirama's stomach, hitting his abdominal aorta the same way his knife had gone through Henry's.

"Tobes..."

My soulmate Tobirama Senju died within five seconds.