Whatever Helen wanted to discuss with my parents, it wasn't brought up that first dinner.

We sat down in their amazing dinner hall, that was almost completely white. I was scared to look at anything in case my gaze made it dirty.

I sat next to Madara, Tobirama opposite me. From time to time, we caught each other's gaze, and had to quickly look away, me blushing like mad, him trying his best not to smile.

He'd showered, his hair wet, and he was wearing a loose, black shirt that looked incredible on him. I wore a plain white shirt and my family wore the clothes they arrived in. My mother sat next to Helen, and they couldn't stop talking. My mother, who worked as an assistant nurse, asked Helen questions about how it was being an alpha doctor, but Helen couldn't get enough of mum's experience as an assistant nurse. They gossiped like equals about funny or rude patients they'd had, and seemed cocooned in their own world as they ate asparagus with poached egg for a starter that the family chef had made. It was delicious.

My dad started asking Tobirama questions about books he'd read, and what his studies had entailed. He asked about his master's degree. Dad told him about the books he'd read, most of them being ones Tobirama had never heard of, my dad explaining that wasn't strange because everything he had read he had found at the dump. Tobirama stared at him, then burst out laughing. At first, he seemed hesitant to talk to my dad, almost scared, and I remembered his own dad and how violent he was against Tobirama. But after a while, Tobirama freed himself and spoke passionately to my father. Madara made his inputs from time to time. The only one who wasn't conversing was me. I was watching the whole spectacle, warmth spreading from my heart out to my entire chest and body. This is what I want, I thought. This is what I want for my family.

I didn't mean the money, the ginormous villa, the private chef. I didn't mean the horse, the fancy titles, the exotic fruits for dessert. I meant safe living standards. Of turning your stove on and not even thinking about that it might not heat the food for your family that night. For turning on the faucet and not having to boil the water before drinking it because there was no risk of it being contaminated. It made my heart sing to see how well they fit in with being... Comfortable.

The main course was grilled vegetables and tofu over rice with a peanut sauce to dip in. For dessert, there was exotic fruits with vanilla ice cream. Tobirama made a face at me and put a cherry stem in his mouth, then took it out knotted and winked with the stupidest face I'd ever seen. I snorted. Madara looked at me, his face saying what? He hadn't noticed, thank God. I hid my face in my hands, hoping nobody else had noticed.

"Thank you for dinner." It was the first thing I'd uttered that evening.

"I will show you all to your rooms", Helen said.

"Izuna", Tobirama interrupted. "Umm..." He was clearly uncomfortable. "There's a summer house a bit from the paddock where I stay sometimes. It's really cozy. I'm sleeping there while I'm here. There's an extra room for you there. You wanna join? We can hang out... Watch movies. You know?"

The entire table became quiet, and I could feel my parent's gazes at me.

"Are you friends?" my mother asked curiously.

"Yep!" Tobirama said happily. I saw Helen raise an eyebrow. "Actually..." Tobirama clasped his hands together and bit them casually, looking at me. "Izuna is my best friend."

I just stared at him, not being able to comprehend what he'd just said. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

"Sounds... Fun", I said, swallowing back my tears.

Tobirama put his socked foot over mine underneath the table.

It was a comforting gesture rather than a flirty one, and it was perfect for the moment.

"After you", he said, holding up the red door for me.

"Thank you", I said, stepping in to the light wooden hallway.

The summer house was a homely cottage, large and exceptionally clean but yet a whole other level of cozy compared to the main villa. I stepped in to a grand hallway that opened up to a large living room and kitchen. On the floor of the living room was some sort of small pools with a lot of metal circles in it.

"What's that?" I asked.

"A jacuzzi", Tobirama purred, stepping up behind me, biting my neck playfully.

I let him. "My question remains."

"Oh! Sorry. Like a giant bathtub but it makes bubbles. Wanna try it?"

"Yes", I said.

He walked to a fireplace and bent down, lit some newspapers for fuel and tossed them in, moving the logs around until they caught fire before he closed the glass door. When he turned back, I was completely naked. He raised an eyebrow. "Ready to watch a movie and sleep in separate rooms?" I asked.

He took two steps towards me, snaked one hand around my waist and put the other hand in my hair. "I lied. There's only one room and one bed", he breathed into my mouth, pressed his clothed body close to my naked one and kissed me.

"As if I didn't know that", I retorted.

The kiss was soft, open-mouthed, our tongues finding each other over and over. I moaned softly into his mouth. He removed his lips to kiss, lick and suck at my neck, checking it from time to time to see he didn't leave any marks. My knees went weak, and I pulled him close to me. He backed to the couch in front of the fireplace and lay down there, him on top of me.

"Tobirama", I mumbled.

"Mmm?" he murmured.

"Who is she?" I asked.

He leaned back to look at me, brows furrowed. "Who do you mean?"

"The girl you've bonded with."

"My question remains", Tobirama said, echoing myself.

"Your mother has said she's noticed you've found the person you'll bond with. You must have a hum of who it is."

Tobirama suddenly stood up. My heart sank. No! I wanted this. I wanted it so much! But I pushed my own neediness down as I saw how distressed Tobirama was, walking back and forth, biting his hand. I sat up, looking at him, comfortable in my nakedness even if he was still fully dressed. In time, he turned round and looked at me, so much distress in his eyes it frightened me.

"Izuna..." he said, and I could see how scared he was. "I... Oh, God!" He bent down, hid his face in his hands, and I could hear him breathe through gritted teeth. I stood up, took a blanket and wrapped it around me. Then, I bent down and put an arm around him. He looked up at me, lifted one hand, released my hair out of its ponytail and combed through it. I never let anyone see me with my hair down, but I let him. I was so distressed that I was afraid my heart would come out of my mouth and fly away. "Izuna..."

Wait...

"Izuna's, silly..."

Oh...

It suddenly went up to me.

It suddenly went up to me who he'd bonded with.

No...

"That person is you."