Me and Henry sat down in my couch, me with my back against the armrest, him in front of me, my arms around him.

"How do you feel?" I asked. I hadn't really dared to speak to him, worried to find he was changed somehow. Although nothing spoke of it.

"Tired. But grateful. That could've ended very, very badly."

"I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologising", Henry scolded. "You did nothing wrong. It was he that beat me up."

Something I had been forcing far, far below the surface started to bubble. It caused rings on the surface that spread out rapidly, until the entirety of my insides started to boil; guilt. I swallowed.

"Do you..." I begun. Henry turned back, looking at me. "Do you hate him?"

Henry moved away from he so he could turn, looking at me sternly. His hair looked so good out of its usual neat side part. "Does this have anything to do with Tobirama running away and you screaming after him?" I looked at him, trying to decide whether I could trust him with this part of my heart or not. "Come on, tell me."

I told him. I told him everything. I told him that I'd found Tobirama critically ill (although I left out some details out of respect for him). I told him how I'd helped him. I told him how submissive Tobirama had seemed. How I'd woken up in his bed. How I'd heard him have sex with a girl. How he's come to my room and how we'd kissed.

All the while, Henry stared at me, mouth agape.

"I think I've fallen for an alpha. And I think he's fallen for an omega. I don't know how that's possible." The oddness of it all was something I'd forced back, pushed into a tight room in the back of my heart and shut the door behind, just as the guilt. Now I'd dared to glimpse in, the whole situation was trying to claw its way out. I let it. I dug my fingernails into my hair, breathing through gritted teeth. "Something is wrong with me."

"Izuna this... This is bad."

I don't know what I'd expected from him. A big part of me had hoped for support and, because of that, it was probably what I had expected deep down. His reaction made my heart freeze into ice.

"You think less of me?" I asked.

"Because you've fallen in love with an alpha? No." I was taken aback. "Who else but you?" He smiled sadly at this. "But that it's the person that has beaten you up and bullied you. That almost killed your best friend." His voice cracked.

"Henry..."

"I'm sorry", he interrupted. "I don't want to be toxic. But it hurts, you know? I know love is a powerful thing, but I had hoped you would have some more self-respect. And respect for me."

"Where do we go from here?" I asked.

"I... Like you very much, Izuna. But I need some time to melt all of this."

"I understand", I said.

"Of course I don't forbid you anything. You're free to do what you want." He put his fingertips on the scar on the tip of my nose that went to my cheek that the beta doctor had sutured so long ago. "It's up to me to decide if I want part of it or not."

I nodded. It hurt. It hurt very, very much. Yet, I just nodded.

That night, I went to bed hugging my plush alpaca close to me.

Six days later, on the Friday, I was going to Helen's office. When I got there, I saw she was beaming.

"Hello, Helen."

"Hi, Izuna. Are you good?"

I thought about Henry. I had tried to ignore it, but it was nagging me in the back of of my mind all the time. "I... I think so", I said.

Helen smiled. "You don't have to talk about it. But I'm here if you need to."

"Thank you", I said. "I'm happy to see you're in a good mood."

Helen's beam got even wider. "It's my son. I think he's met the person he's gonna bond with!"

Someone took the floor beneath my feet and pulled it away. I fell. I fell into a deep, black hole where I would just keep falling, forever, not seeing, bit hearing, not feeling. Just existing. My heart froze to ice and shattered into a thousand pieces as I dropped it; I didn't need it anymore. I didn't need it anymore as it belonged to one person, and one person only, and that person had just bonded with someone else.

"Izuna?" Helen's voice through water thick as oil. "Izuna? Is everything all right?"

"Of course. I'm sorry. I just got lost in thought. How... What makes you think that?"

"I've seen the changes in alphas after they've bonded before. They get a certain glow. A distant look in their eyes. All can't see it. But I can. Just like some people immediately see if a woman is pregnant or not.

"I'm..." I swallowed. I'm devastated. Im heartbroken. Everything that was right in this world has fallen apart. I'm broken. "I'm very happy for him."

"Thank you love. You're so kind, despite everything he's put you through."

She taught me the basics of an appendectomy then, but my mind was elsewhere. Somewhere where there was me and Tobirama but, at the same time, where he was very, very far away from me. What was I thinking? He's an ALPHA. You're a pathetic omega. Snap out of it! She noticed.

"Let's call it a day. Get some rest. But Izuna... I have a request for you." I looked at her quizzically. "It will seem like an invitation, but it's honestly a request. I want to invite you and your family over to ours during the winter holidays to stay from Friday to Sunday. Don't worry", she continued, sensing my doubt. "My husband will be away for a business trip."

"I don't think my parents can afford to come", I said, looking down shyly. Oh, but how I wanted to give them this experience. I couldn't pay for their train tickets myself, either. But Helen waved her hand dismissively. "My driver will pick them up. And everything will be paid for." I looked at her with eyes like saucers. "But as I said... I want to discuss something with you and your parents. I have a request. Or rather, a suggestion. So... Do you want to come?"

"Will Tobirama be there?" I asked.

"Yes, he said he wanted to."

"Okay."

"So..."

"I will write my parents a letter tonight. They're very proud and I think they will hesitate having everything paid. But I will make it sound as though they're doing you a favour." I smiled a crooked smile.

Helen beamed.

As I was leaving, she called me.

"I hope Tobirama will leave you alone now. I hope he leaves you alone now he's busy with the person he's met."

Oh, you have no idea how much I don't want Tobirama to leave me alone.

But hadn't her eyes still been glittering as she looked at me?

I hadn't seen Tobirama when the last week before the winter holidays came. Or, I had seen him, but every time I just turned the opposite direction. I had avoided him, was a more correct way to put it. Now when the last week had arrived, I was tense, as I knew I would leave directly from university to Helens and Tobirama's home, and see him again. But it wasn't just him. It was seeing the life of alphas, and my parents seeing the life of alphas. My parents had agreed to come, sending me a letter back, which must've cost them half a month's salary. But they were delighted. However, I was afraid they would feel unhappy, seeing what they had missed out on. What their children had missed out on.

I did see Henry the last week. It wasn't the first time I'd seen him; we'd bumped into each other in corridors and sometimes even at the pond. He didn't ignore me, always smiling politely, but he never spoke to me. It would've been better if he ignored me altogether, to be honest. This hurt. This hurt so much.

But it was nothing compared to what I saw the last week. I had always seen him alone, but this time, he was walking next to another omega, a heavier boy with gorgeous red hair and freckles. Black jealousy consumed my already shattered heart and I had to turn away and leave, disgusted by the fact that I couldn't just be happy for him, for having found a new friend that Wasn't. Me. I felt useless. Replaced. Both by Tobirama and now by Henry. So this is what feeling depressed is like. Despite the state of me and my family, I had always been happy. Now, when I had more means than ever, I felt worse than I had ever done before.

I lay down, hugging Tobirama the Albino Alpaca close to me, and drifted off to a sleep full of dreams. Tomorrow, I'd take the train to meet my family and Tobirama.