Thanks for 100+ reads!! *internally screeches*

This chapter is brought to you by me having to re-write the whole thing so it won't be as funny as it was before wattpad decided to be a lil bitch and delete all my drafts. That and this pic of a panic! at the disco reference.

Minnesota: *randomly balancing a jug of milk on her head while walking across the room* nothing like drinking milk while wondering why my window is broken and why there is a huge hole in my living room.

//suddenly the phone rings//

Minnesota: *jumps, which causes her to drop the milk*

Minnesota: *silently watches it slowly spill out*

Quezon: *jumps out of the refrigerator* THE PHONE.

Caesar: *falls out of the closet* THE PHONE IS RINGING.

Minnesota: *ignores the phone* THE PHONE.

Quezon: WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

Caesar: THE PHONE.

Minnesota: THE PHONE IS RINGING.

Quezon: THERE'S AN ANIMAL IN TROUBLE.

Caesar: THERE'S AN ANIMAL IN TROUBLE.

Minnesota: THERE'S AN ANIMAL IN TROUBLE SOMEWHERE.

//Caesar and Quezon disappear, and Minnesota finally answers the phone.//

Minnesota: yello?

Sealand: *falls from the ceiling* DO YOU SEE ME ANSWERING THE PHONE LIKE "red~" OR "blue~"?!

Sealand: *also disappears*

Minnesota:

Minnesota: hello?

Sealand's voice: damn straight.

England: *singing from the phone* PICK UP THE PHONE!! ANSWER YOUR TEXTS!!

Minnesota: SHUT UP, JEEZ! YOU NEARLY BLEW OFF MY EAR!!

England: oh... MN!! Can you please pick me up from jail??

Minnesota: WTF?? Why the hell are you in jail?!

England: *sighs* it's a long story. Please?

Minnesota: ya, ya, alright. *hangs us as England starts to say something else*

Minnesota: *accidentally steps in milk* oh yeah.

Minnesota: I'll clean it up later.

Minnesota: it's not like

Minnesota: someone is going to

Minnesota: slip and fall

Minnesota: in it

Minnesota: right.

//when MN gets to Iggy, shit goes down but Iggybrows eventually gets leave.//

Minnesota: it's a long drive to get to Worthington, now tell me exactly what the hell happened.

England: okay then sassy bitch. Well, lets see...

//start of flashback//

Austria (yes he's here): can you please take those idiotic sunglasses off?!

Caesar: *takes his sunglasses off*

Caesar: *there's another pair under those*

Austria: what the-

Caesar: FUK BOI YAAA *starts randomly rapping and dancing out of the room*

Quezon:

Quezon:

Quezon:

Quezon:

Quezon: SoMEOnE bRokE CAeSar

Minnesota: IT'S THE SUNGLASSES. WE MUST DESTROY THE SUNGLASSES.

Caesar: FAK. *screams like a sissy girl and runs away*

Quezon and Minnesota: *run after Caesar whilst screaming inhumanly*

Austria: honestly, I am never visiting Minnesota, or even America ever again. *leaves on his magical piano with horse/Germany legs and Prussia's face on it*

America: deez nuts.

France: hAH.

Canada: GOT EEM.

England: please no.

France: *ears suddenly perk up*

In the far distance, a very faint honhonhon could be heard.

France: I'M BEING SUMMONED. *rips shirt off and crashes through the ceiling*

England: well. That happened, I guess. Fucking idiot.

America: EXCUSE ME, SIR. THAT IS CALLED SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

England: what?

Canada: SIR.

Canada: SIR, I-

Canada: SIR. THAT IS CALLED SEXUAL HARASSMENT, SIR.

England: what are you talking about, I'm not--?!

America: THAT IS IT SIR. *pulls out phone* I AM CALLING THE COPS ON YOU, SIR.

Canada: NO MORE SEXUALING HARASSMENTING FOR YOU, SIR.

Cop: *crashes through the window and tackles England to the floor* SIR. YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR SEXUALLY HARASSING THESE-- *lowers sunglasses* mighty fine young men.

America: NO POLICE COP, SIR. THAT IS CALLED SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

Canada: POLICE COP SIR, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT. THAT IS-

Canada: THAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

Police Cop Sir-- I mean-- Cop: YOU ARE RIGHT, SIRS. I AM DISGRACING THE NAME OF AMERICA.

China: *drives his Honda into Minnesota's living room and jumps out*

China: *is wearing an America t-shirt, hat, and sandals* I BELIEVE IN AMERICA. FREEDOM.

America, Canada, Cop, and China: *all say at the same time while looking wistfully up as an American flag and a bald eagle appears behind them* AMERIFREEDOM.

Canada: LET'S TAKE THIS SEXUALER HARASSER TO JAIL.

//everyone uses the power of magic and friendship to tie England up and store him in China's trunk. Then they all get in the Honda, with China driving, of course, and leave a huge gaping hole in Minnesota's living room.//

China: VROOM VROOM. I'M IN ME MUMS CAR.

Japan: GET OUT ME CAR!! *chases after them but breaks a hip and is lying on the cold hard ground oh! oh! trouble trouble trouble*

China: MUUUUMM!!

Everyone else (except for England, he's a bit... tied up at the moment LMAO): *hit the top of the inside of the car with their fists* AMERIFREEDOM. AMERIFREEDOM. AMERIFREEDOM.

//keep doing that until they get to the cops house-- I mean jail.//

//End of flashback//

England: and then those twats let me have one phone call, so I called you.

Minnesota: I'm sorry, can you repeat that again?

England: *mixture of Germany and Sweden death glare*

Minnesota: EEP!! I'M KIDDING, GEEZ!

Minnesota: hey look, we're here! *pulls into the driveway and gets inside the house with England*

England: oh thank goodness.

Minnesota: well, I guess the good thing is that you didn't get hurt, eh?

England: yup-- bLOODY HELL-- *slips on the milk that Minnesota failed to clean*

Minnesota: well fuck.

----

Omg I finally rewrote it all.

And just for safety measures, I copy and pasted this into my notes.

This took me three and a half hours of my precious sleep time, that how important you fuckers are to me.

Whoever gets one (or more) of the many references gets a shoutout.

OMGGG who else watched the Scorch Trials??? The end was all like HNNGGG. It was awesome, but a LOT changed from the actual book. I cried so hard. Almost as hard as when Chuck died in the first one. I was sobbing grossly. I mean seriously, CHUCK WAS MY FAVORITE.

And also, I got a haircut.

I now have bangs. 🌚

M'kay goodnight now. XD

(u_u).｡o○