Holy Snokes I have deprived this story of all attention. I feel really bad. Sorry readers!

Anyway, I'll try to update this more often. New Year's Resolution: update this every week again.

Oh yeah, Happy New Year!

On to the story! I don't own anything blah blah disclaimer.
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A thick atmosphere spreads through the air, gobbling the distrust fed from the human beings, and creating tension so thick it was hard to breathe. Deciding you've had enough of listening to Krennic and Len try and outdo each other with words, you stand, thank Len for dinner, and head outside. You need the fresh air.

Out here, the air is less stifling, allowing your mind to clear. You can feel yourself think again. Subconsciously, you walk until the house lights become nothing but small orbs that light your way home, if you care to refer to it as home.

Now that you are out of the stiff atmosphere, you take the time to calm yourself down. Why are you nervous? Are you really nervous or was that stress taking the form of perspiration? Maybe you need lighter clothing? But it's cold out...

'Stop talking, stop thinking, stop doing,' your mind says and you obey. You promptly seat yourself on the sand-ish ground. Then you study the sky and try to relax yourself. When you can't, you repeat the ASCII codes for every Aurabesh letter.

You miss tapping on a computer. Hell, you miss doing the constant stream of math problems. Throughout your cadet training, you often would solve math problems to calm yourself down whenever you felt stressed. Taking your blaster and checking if the safety is engaged, you use the barrel to scribble out the longest and most complex equation you can come up with to get the number 2.

Footsteps make you peek over your shoulder. The lighting's too dim for you to see who it was, and all you could tell was that it was a tall figure. Your finger hovers over the safety lock of your blaster.

"It's just me, Mello," says the figure. Relieved, you let your finger fall away from the safety and watch Mello approach. He stands over you, trying to read your writing by outlining it with a small flashlight he brought. When he can't figure out what's going on, he turns the flashlight off and sits next to you. "You've got the right idea, (Name)," he says.

"What?" Is your response.

"Coming out here to enjoy the night."

You can't help but feel as though there more behind his reason for following you. Mello rarely does anything on his own. For all you knew, he had no idea how to live outside of Orsson's orders. "Did Orson send you out to check on me?"

"Negative," Mello says. "Director Krennc is in a heated argument. This is my own doing."

You raise an eyebrow. "You sure you weren't ordered?"

He frowns, nodding. "Yes, I am." Okay, if that's the truth, you'll accept it. "It'a rather strange to do something on my own free will. Is it like this for you?"

His words confuse you. Still, you take your best shot at a good answer. "Sometimes." A pressing question arises in your head. "Mello, why do you follow Orson's orders so strictly?"

"I will lay down my life for Director Krennic. If it means following his orders to the grave, so be it. I know I'm just a tool to protect him if he's ever threatened. I follow his orders to keep him safe, and to make him feel safe. And while I believe he may have abandoned what it means to be a high-class imperial with you, I'll continue to serve him until he retired or die." His icy green eyes meet with yours. "Can you say the same about yourself?"

"Are you challenging my loyalties?" You question.

"Perhaps. But more importantly, I want to know if you still know your place in this intimate relationship distraction."

Of course you knew your place! This must be one of Mello's odd moments. Krennic mentioned he had a strange quirk in which he would try to intimidate people. Well, Mello picked the wrong person to mess with today. "I will remain loyal to Krennic until the very end."

"Even if it means you must give up your life to do so?"

Well, you actually would like to live some more. But if it meant being loyal to Krennic, then "Yes."

"So you'd jump in front of a moving speeded of he ordered you to?"

"...no..."

Mello laughs loudly. "Wow! No wonder you're still a private!" You open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it. "It's always so stupid to me; what people do for love. They say they'll be loyal to the point where they will die for the other person."

"I think you're missing the point," you grumble. "If that's what you think loyalty is, would you jump in front of a speeder?"

"Yes."

Of course he would. His entire life was spent learning to follow orders with no questions. "If I'm missing the point, explain," he says.

You shake your head. "Forget it. It's not worth explaining."

"So you can't explain the whole romance stuff?"

"It's not something you can explain. It's something you feel and there's no words to. You can try all you want to create an explanation but you sound like a fool when you try." Would he know what that felt like or was he just as heartless as he seemed?

"So... it would be like death?" He asks.

The question threw you off-guard more than his faux laugh about romance did. "Well... if you're dead you can't feel anything..."

"I'm not talking about myself dying. I'm talking about other's deaths. Do you ever think about the people you hurt or kill?"

You try to remember the last time you killed. Oh yeah, it was a few months ago when some rebels invaded. You shot at a young mandalorian girl, her green lightsabered guy friend, a rebellion pilot, and the little orange C10 unit that was following them around. You killed the pilot but the other three escaped. Accuracy in shooting is not your thing. Accuracy in computing is.

"I think about it now and then," you say. Death isn't something to take lightly and I respect that."

Mello has that look of someone wanting to start an argument. "What about the thirty souls that go with the body?"

"Thirty souls?" Unless it was a hydra, an army, or a fractal person of some sort, you couldn't imagine thirty souls dying.

"Think about it: everyone is someone's son or daughter, brother or sister, mother or father, aunt or uncle, grandfather or grandmother, nephew or niece, friend or external family, colleague, coworker, boss, the list goes on. With each death, part of a soul dies as well. You're doing far more damage than just killing a body."

Well, putting it that way, you begin to feel a lump in your stomach. How many souls had you killed by that measure? "Then why are you a soldier if you hate seeing death?" You want to know.

Mello takes a long time to answer. When he does, his voice has quieted. "I had no choice. I was born into an imperial academy. I was an imperial to start with."

"Your parents were imperials?"

"Miss (L/Name), as far as I know, I don't have parents." You feel your heart sink. You want to apologize, but he beats you to words. "You're lucky to know yours. You're lucky to know a lot of things I'll never know unless the war ends and I survive long enough afterwards to find the answers."

"I'm sorry..." you mutter.

Before he can reply, you hear more footsteps. Again, you turn around and clench your blaster but Mello doesn't. He lifts his head and calls "What do you want, Ryuzaki?"

"Len and Krennic broke it up when Matsuda dropped a glass," Ryuzaki reported, standing slightly behind the two of you. "They've cleaned up and are heading to bed. I'm taking first watch." You nod and stand up, ready to head in from the cold.

Mello scoffs. "I'd rather stay out here, thank you very much."

"Mello, let's go." Ryuzaki's voice was a stern one. "Or I'm going to have Matsuda drag you in."

Mello scowls but stands up and follows you into the house while Ryuzaki remains outside. Matsuda and Near have settled on the ground, already dozing off. Mello heads over to join them while you walk towards Orson, who is standing in the doorway to a room.

"Len doesn't have a lot of room in this house so she's having us sleep together," he says. "Hopefully you won't mind."

"Not at all," You say, smiling. You follow him into the small room. The bed looks a little skinny to hold the two of yo but you'll make it work.

You flop down on the bed, which is quite comfortable. Krennic joins you. Closing your eyes, you lean into Krennic and doze off, digesting everything you discussed with Mello.
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What are your New Year's Resolutions?

Please review!