The band on Saturday night promise to be quite good. I'm there with our friend Lizzie the barmaid, on one of her rare nights off from the pub. We sit with Sandra and her husband for a while, then move to stand near the bar just before the music starts. Dippy Alice and her bloke are there too, but I think it's actually their local. In the lull while the band gather themselves together, I lean in and ask Lizzie, 'Do you want a bit of gossip about people you've never met?'

She chuckles. 'Always, Fi. I live on gossip. And peanuts sometimes, but mainly gossip. But get us another drink first, eh? It's your round.' She moves out of my way and nudges me closer to the bar. 'Go on, while it's still quiet.'

I get her another alcopop and myself another cider. We chink my refreshed glass against her new bottle, and she takes a generous swallow through her straw. 'Ahhh.' She grins happily. 'I'm going to get so wasted tonight, Fi. Bring it on. Anyway, so what's this gossip?'

'Well, see that girl with the curls in the corner?'

'With the massive and very fit boyfriend?' Lizzie eyes up Alice's bloke. 'Mmm, he is a big lad, isn't he?' She cocks her head on one side. Lizzie likes a bit of rough. 'Hot, actually.'

'Yeah, he's a builder I think. Lots of physical work outside, kind of thing. Anyway, focus, sweetie.' I sip my drink. 'So, you know that party Michelle and I were telling you about, when I ended up flirting with that manager?'

'The list woman. Yeah.' Lizzie is still admiring Alice's boyfriend's muscles.

'Well, Alice there, with the curls, was there too. She was flirting with a bloke from Sales, as in not that fella there. Not a good idea with someone like him at home. I think it might have gone further than flirting though.' I look at the smile on Lizzie's face, but she's not listening. 'That's the gossip bit, by the way.'

'Don't know I'd need anyone else, Fi, if I had him at home. Reckon he would fill me completely.' Lizzie watches him get up and walk to the toilet. She bites her lip and quite openly admires the shape of his body in his t-shirt and fitted jeans. 'Hmmm, yep. He could fill me anytime.' She laughs dirtily and takes another suck at her drink. 'That Alice girl's a fool.'

'Yeah, well.' Suddenly, it doesn't really seem to matter. Alice is old enough to make her own mistakes, and Lizzie'd be delighted to help her boyfriend get over a broken heart. The fact I'd seen Paul from Sales make his way out of the toilets with a big grin on his face, shortly after I'd passed Dippy Alice with a satisfied smile on her face...who cares? Especially as I would never have passed them anyway if I hadn't been heading up to Diana's office.

***

I'd been up to her alone a couple of times. I would stand beside her chair while she checked and double-checked some figures, and made notes on how they related to the case she was bringing. I would stand close enough to sense the heat of her body and smell her perfume and notice the strands of grey in her short hair. But we never quite managed to touch much.

***

The pub really starts filling up as the band get going. Lizzie gets another round in and we move away from the bar, to nestle in a spare corner. I straighten up from wedging my bag between my feet and feel my heart skip a beat again. Diana and another woman a few years younger are weaving through the muddle of bodies, towards the bar. 'Fuck,' I say to myself.

Lizzie leans in. 'What's that?' The band aren't too loud where we are, but still loud enough to make talking tricky. I shake my head to say it's not important, and she shrugs.

I lean back against the wall and try to get a view of the bar. Diana is saying something to the member of staff, and her companion is leaning in close, a little behind her. The companion is almost as tall as Diana, dark-haired. Maybe somewhere about halfway between me and Diana in age. She lays a hand on Diana's arm with a soft familiarity and I notice with annoyance that she's an attractive woman, under her pretty dress.

I probably stare a bit too hard, because the woman glances up and catches my eye. I don't look away quickly enough, and Diana notices the direction of her friend's gaze as she turns away from paying the barman. For an instant, Diana and I stare at each other, then she looks away without any further reaction.

I hold my breath and wait for them to come round to join us. I need to find a way of apologising to her for brushing her off the day before, of explaining why it didn't feel right. I need to find a way of erasing that blank expression of uninterest when she looked at me across the bar, of putting back that slight dance of the light in her eyes that I flatter myself only I get to see. I realise I need to stop pushing my luck, maybe play a little easier to get, and make an effort to keep her chasing me.

I realise, after waiting for a whole two songs, that Diana has chosen to deliberately ignore me and given up on the chase.