Only the dust Sprites heard Iliya wake in a cold sweat. Her back ached as she threw herself into a sitting position, panting into the first breath of morning. The sun hadn't even finished cresting the horizon, the gray fog still hovering against the ground.

She felt her wrist sting and began to recoil, staring at the now wrapped burns. Her rings and bracelet were set aside, carefully looped together on her nightstand.

One of the charred marks cut through her black tattoo, the rune no book explained.

"Would you like to tell me what in Heilos happened last night?" A gravelly voice asked.

Rhydian stirred from his chair in nothing more than sweats, the plush clothing and disheveled hair only accenting the heavy bags under his eyes.

He hadn't slept. Her cousin had spent the whole night both pacing her newly cleaned floors and hovering, even snipping at the maids that likely took care of her.

Iliya lifted her shy gaze to him, frowning.

Her memories were hazy at best, flickering between the fireworks and screaming at Sorein.

Oh Gods, Sorein...

Her chest seized and she shoved her face in her hands.

"I don't know..."

Her cousin, despite the exhaustion and worry lining his face, kept a steady gaze on her. Waiting.

"How did I get here?" She asked.

He sighed and came to sit on the bed beside her. "Ezre found you."

Iliya swallowed back her surprise. "How?"

"I don't know," Rhydian answered. "Frankly, once I saw you unconscious, I didn't care."

Fingers absently tracing the mark on her wrist, Iliya wondered how much Rhydian had ever been aware of her situation. How much her mother told him. Every time she thought to ask, the words got lumped together near the base of her throat.

Stuck.

"Did you sleep at all?" Iliya dared to ask.

Her reply was a pair of raised brows and the kind of insinuating glare that didn't feel aggressive so much as incredulous.

She waited. Sometimes saying nothing would force him out of this belligerent dance they found themselves in.

He scoffed and looked toward her couch. "That depends on your perspective," he said.

"What kind of answer is that?" Iliya replied, chuckling. "Did you sleep?"

The guarded look of the estate's Captain fell, the mask falling away to reveal a much softer, compassionate gaze. He no longer looked at her as if she were some subordinate.

She was just Iliya, his little cousin.

"No," he grumbled. "I didn't."

She smirked at the minor victory.

"How long have I been asleep?" Iliya wondered aloud.

Rhydian shrugged. "Through the night and into this morning, you didn't miss the Ball or the Final Ceremony."

Iliya wished she had almost, given what she'd learned last night. What she'd been told. The faint washed-out memories of her conversation with Sorein phased in and out of her mind.

She swallowed uncomfortably again, gripping her blankets and pulling them in around her.

"That," Rhydian said, narrowing his eyes. "What were you thinking about?"

She felt herself pale, the surface of her skin chilling. "I was with Sorein last night..." she answered, her frown deepening. A taut, tenuous subject between them. "We went to the Ceremony of Lights..."

Her cousin's face remained considerably neutral, as if he'd either known or wasn't bothered by the information. He took a deep breath and leaned back in her bed, his head resting on her shins.

"Finally mending fences?" he asked.

She shook her head. "To be honest, I'd be surprised if he was still on the island after what I said to him last night."

"I suppose that's better than wishing he'd drown," Rhydian chuckled darkly.

"Hey, it's not like I-"

He pivoted his head, stare fixated on her. It was enough to make her stop.

"Iliya," he warned, his best no-nonsense voice seeping into the words. "I was there. If you wish to lie to yourself, be my guest, but not with me."

Iliya chose to hold his gaze, reading the secret pain he thought he hid so well in his eyes. She wouldn't push then, even when the urge in her throat was so tempting, the words kept there.

Rhydian was there and he would know.

He would know both the hell she endured as her life fractured into a hundred tiny pieces and the reason behind it all.

Yet the more intense their visual exchange became, the more uncomfortable her cousin grew. His eyes slowly trailed away and focused on a far away bookcase.

"You haven't changed your mind then," he murmured.

Rhydian rarely became quiet and reserved unless a matter truly bothered him, but even if this threatened to be unbearable, she didn't see herself altering course. Still, watching the light fade from his eyes made her sad.

Iliya nipped at the inner edge of her lip. "No," she said, shaking her head. "I will not Seal myself."

His face darkened.

Her mother attempted to respect her decision, though would occasionally slip in subtle remarks. Ezre often pretended to be indifferent, even if she knew otherwise, but Rhydian...

Her cousin had made his displeasure known from the beginning.

"You'll take a Court, you'll rule, only to be a mortal Queen with no true lifespan," he grumbled. "What is the point then?"

"It's not as if I'm killing myself, I half hoped you would capture Elosea's attention so I might not have to succeed mother," she replied, sighing. "You're just as fit to rule as I am."

He growled at her, his canines flashing for a moment. "That's not the point and you know it."

Iliya felt nausea bubbling in her stomach, the heat of her discomfort giving her a cold sweat. She didn't know what to say to him, though she could feel his jaw grinding against her shins now.

"Despite the fact that Chiori Faire is and has always been a Monarchy and the political nightmare that would create," he went on, finally looking back at her. "Is it so hard to believe that I do not want to lose you?"

Rhydian hadn't always been so close to her. He was hot-headed, abrasive, and only sent here to aid her mother after the last Captain defected. Begrudgingly at that.

When he'd come to stay with them as a younger boy, he'd been a prankster and a nuisance.

Iliya wasn't aware of when the shift began or even where it ended. She only knew that after he'd spent a year traveling back and forth from Taeori to Azuris, even making a few trips to Solraidis.

Perhaps it was the training involved with being a Captain of the Guard.

But when he'd come back to Chiori Faire, Sealed into his youth and almost tamed, Iliya started to watch him. The change was fascinating and abnormal. She didn't know people's entire personalities to shift, but to this day it is still a mystery.

Rhydian existed with a looming weight strapped to his shoulders and she desperately wanted to know what burdened him so much.

Instead, he'd become more like the brother she never had.

"I suppose not," she whispered. Then her mouth moved again without her really thinking about it. "I want you in my Court."

Since Chiori was founded, each new heir selected their Court just as they would someday their mate. Often the two or three most trusted individuals to the Queen.

Destry's Court would retire with her, Iliya was to pick her own.

The thought was daunting in and of itself, she mused.

Having to choose her Ceire and Eite especially.

Rhydian slid off her legs and sat up in the bed, glancing back at her. "I've no wish to serve a mortal Queen," he said. "Worrying about your safety all the time, panicking every time you get sick. I'm sorry, but I won't do it."

She felt the knife in her chest twisting, carving into her the way it had when Sorein went behind her back. Told him. Told them all.

Iliya didn't blame him.

She couldn't.

"I wish he'd never told you," she mumbled. "It was my choice, my decision."

"We had a right to know," Rhydian snapped back. "Your family has a right to know when you choose something so foolish, so against the nature of every Therian and Fae life."

That too was an opinion he shared with Sorein.

She sighed and pushed the blankets back, scooting up to the edge of the bed and swinging her legs over the edge.

"I'll think about it," she said.

"What?"

"I said I'll think about it."

She thought his neck might snap with the force of his head turn.

In reality, Iliya didn't know if she would consider changing her mind or what the consequences would be if she decided not to follow through, but for one moment she hoped for him to stop staring at her like some fragile, broken thing.

"You're serious?" Rhydian asked again, facing her. He stepped into her space, analyzing her.

Iliya nodded. "From this Solstice till next, I'll reconsider. But should I come to the same conclusion, I expect you to accept my answer. Is that fair?"

Rhydian's answer was to slam her small frame into his chest, squeezing her to him in a bone-crushing embrace.

He paused for one moment, held her away from him by the shoulders, and smiled. "Thank you."

"I made you no promises," Iliya reminded him, already stepping away from their closeness.

Rhydian gave her a knowing look and straightened out his rumpled clothing. "Of course not," he said. "Ezre will be back shortly, he's got a bone to pick with you."

She winced. "Did you get in trouble?"

He scratched his head, laughing. "Yeah." Rhydian glanced back at her bedroom door, as if remembering the encounter. "Between Ezre's death glare and Siofra's shrill outrage, I'd say I've had my fair share of fights in the last six hours."

Iliya frowned and recoiled at the idea of facing Siofra's temper. "I'm sorry for that."

Rhydian shrugged and started to leave. "I can rest easy knowing you're okay," he explained, twisting the knob. "Let me know if you need anything."

Iliya didn't even know where to start, but as dawn broke and illuminated her room a migraine began to throb. Perhaps later when there was more time to discuss, after Ezre tore into her about her reckless behavior.

"Have a good nap," she said.

"Destry granted my leave for the day," he replied, laughing. Rhydian opened the door, sliding out into the hallway. "I likely won't see you until tomorrow."

"Night night," Iliya called after him, waving awkwardly.

Her only reply was a muffled groan and a haphazard wave.

If Ezre was going to yell at her, she figured the next best thing to do was get dressed.

Iliya huffed out one more deep breath and threw herself at the closet.