It was Valentine's Day, one of the many names February 14th went by, along with Unattached Drifter Christmas, the couple's holiday, and April Fool's Day Pregame for single pranksters. But regardless of what you called it, everyone knew that today was the most romantic day of the year, and if you were in a relationship, then this was the day to celebrate it.

And the Novaks were no exception to that.

Lucifer was the first one up out of the kids, and he barged into Chuck's room, knowing that his dad would already be awake.

He was right. Chuck had been up for hours hacking into and changing the password on Amara's Netflix account so she couldn't binge her shows all day.

"Good morning Satan," Chuck offered. "What's got you up so early?" He glanced over and took in the utter terror radiating from Lucifer's entire body. "...What's wrong?" Satan let out a strangled noise that wasn't human by any means. "Luci?"

"I'M A MORON, THAT'S WHAT." Lucifer shouted. He faceplanted onto the bed with a whine and Chuck blinked. Normally Satan was the last person to get upset over anything, so this had to be serious.

"Care to elaborate?" Lucifer took a deep breath and looked up. 

"I'm gonna propose to Chloe."

"OH!"

"Today." Chuck's eyes widened.

"FUCK."

"YEP, THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP." He went back to faceplanting.

"But Lucifer, that's wonderful!"

"But what if she says no?"

"She won't."

"You don't know that!"

"Yes I do. I have secret dad senses that tell me these things, and I sense that Chloe loves you, and you love her, and you've both mentioned the idea of getting married before and you're adults, therefore I see no possible future where she says no." He paused. "Unless she leaves you for Balthazar."

"THANKS."

"Just relax, Lucifer, you'll do fine. You have planned out the proposal, right?"

"I mean, I have the build up to it down, but what I'm actually gonna say when I pull out the ring, I have no idea."

"Just speak from the heart and with confidence and you'll be fine. That's all the advice I can offer you."

"That's it?" Chuck shrugged.

"I'm not exactly a proposal expert."

"How did you propose to my mom?" Chuck paused.

"I mean...She told me to do it. So I asked. Like a minute later. And she said fine." He frowned. "In hindsight, the proposal should have been a giant red flag for how the entire marriage was going to go, but oh well, I got all the good stuff out of it." Lucifer groaned.

"This is going to go horribly."

"It's going to go beautifully, now go do it while I make a cake to celebrate and then cry."

"You're not ACTUALLY going to cry, are you?" Chuck paused.

"....Noooooo...." Chuck said, entirely unconvincingly. Lucifer sighed and stood up.

"Alright. Today's the day I either get the future I want or die trying."

"You won't DIE."

"TRY ME."

****

And so Lucifer was the first one out the door for Valentine's Day, quickly followed by Anna and Balthazar, who ran off to make the most of unattached Drifter Christmas.

Chuck made breakfast for the rest as other Valentine's Day plans fell into place.

"Sam and Dean are coming over," Cas said. "Their mom's going to Lebanon for the day, so they're gonna hang out here." Gabriel scoffed.

"Geez Cassie, you make it sound like we're babysitting them." He said.

"How else would you like me to put it?"

"Our BOYFRIENDS are coming over for Valentine's Day so we can screw them senseless!" Hannah choked on her breakfast as Chuck buried his face in his hands.

"That's not true!" Cas insisted.

"Yeah right-"

"If I wanted to screw Dean senseless, I'd go to his house since it'll be empty," Cas muttered. Michael spit orange juice everywhere and Hannah started laughing.

"I have no innocent children left, do I?" Chuck asked. "Hannah? Are you my last hope?"

"I mean," She started. "I would say yes cause I've never been on a date, but like...I hang out with Balthazar too much to be completely innocent. Try Michael." Michael rolled his eyes.

"I know things that would give you night terrors," He insisted.

"The things in my AO3 bookmarks would put you in therapy," Hannah shot back.

"OKAY!" Chuck declared. "NONE OF YOU ARE INNOCENT! WONDERFUL! I HAVE FAILED PERFECTLY."

"You're good at that," Gabriel said.

"You've earned those #1 Dad mugs," Hannah insisted. "You worked for them." Chuck looked down at his mug.

"I did, didn't I?" He said. They nodded. "Well in that case, I'm stealing the ice cream from the freezer, and I'm gonna go binge I Love Lucy in my room for the rest of the day while you all get showered with attention from your significant others. My single children are welcome to join me."

"Can't," Hannah shrugged. "Too many Valentine's Day fanfictions to write."

"Understood." Chuck paused. "Wait. Where's Charlie?" Cas raised an eyebrow.

"She's been practically living at Jo's for like three weeks, did you not notice?" Chuck slowly shook his head. "DAD."

"WHAT THERE'S A LOT OF YOU, OKAY? I LOSE TRACK SOMETIMES!"

"STILL!" Chuck huffed.

"I'm leaving before you judge me more," He declared. He marched over to the freezer, grabbed the carton of ice cream and a spoon and headed upstairs. The kids sat in silence, watching him go.

"It's official," Hannah said. "None of us are adopted."

*****

Six hours later, the day was in full swing. Lydia had come over, and she and Michael were holed up in his room designing a video game because they had nothing better to do. Hannah was in her room, reading an ungodly amount of fluff, and Gabriel, Sam, Dean and Cas were in the living room bingeing John Cusack movies, cause the 'screwed senseless' part of Valentine's Day could wait til later. (Well, Sam and Gabriel had already gotten up to that earlier, but nobody really needed to know that)

Chuck trudged down the stairs with an empty ice cream carton and grinned at the the two couples on the couch.

"Well don't you guys look cozy," He commented.

"Don't say that," Sam insisted. "Gabe will start thinking I like him or something." Gabriel was currently sitting in the moose's lap, playing with his hair, but that apparently meant nothing.

"I mean it's cozy," Dean admitted. "But my arm's asleep." Cas was laying on his arm, the two of them entangled on the couch.

"I can move," Cas insisted.

"Don't you dare."

Chuck chuckled.

{I HAD TO OK, THE OPPORTUNITY WAS THERE AND I HAD TO TAKE IT}

"You know," Chuck started. "I-"

His sentence was cut off as Satan kicked the door in. Literally. He broke the door. Part of the frame went flying. The top hinge fell off. 

But he kicked it open and barged in anyway, carrying Chloe bridal style in his arms. She posed dramatically in his arms as everyone stared at them and Lucifer yelled out.

"WE'RE ENGAGED!!!!"