Three Years Later....

It was June 1st.

You know what that means.

Balthazar kicked open the front door in an attempt to wake the entire neighborhood and his family at the same time with his battle cry of "IT'S PRIDE MONTH BITCHES!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And for the second time ever, there was going to be an actual pride parade going through little Lawrence, Kansas. The town had thought it was too small to host such a parade, so Amara and Chuck had blackmailed their way onto the town council and insisted that a pride parade was, in fact, EXACTLY what the town needed. The council had agreed, the parade had been a smash hit the first year, had been deemed an annual event, and Chuck and Amara had immediately quit the council afterwards, insisting that their job was done.

The Novak kids had woken up early and were running around like it was Christmas morning, trying to get ready before the parade started rolling down downtown.

"Do you think they'll hang all the rainbow streamers from the buildings on Main street again?" Hannah asked. "It looked so pretty last year!"

"Would it be frowned upon if I bought a HUGE pride flag and waved it around like we were in Les Mis?" Gabriel asked. 

"Dude," Michael stared at him. "DO THAT."

"CHILDREN!" Chuck called from the top of the stairs. "It's June 1st. You know what that means..."

"No," Castiel's eyes widened in horror.

"Don't say it," Anna whined.

"I THOUGHT WE BURNED THEM," Lucifer insisted.

But they hadn't. 

Chuck threw out his hands, elastic straps waving proudly.

"RAINBOW SUSPENDERS!" Chuck yelled. The kids groaned.

"DAAAAAADDDD," Balthazar cried. "You know you can't pull off suspenders!"

"Too bad! I'm wearing them!"

"But you wear them with that ratty T-shirt and it's just-"

"Hey I LIKE MY 'I love my dead gay son' T-SHIRT. HEATHERS IS ICONIC."

"I die a little bit inside every time you wear that shirt," Gabriel whispered.

"THEN IT GETS A LITTLE TRUER EACH YEAR, DOESN'T IT?"

"I FOUND THE FACE PAINT!" Hannah screeched, running into the kitchen with a tray of paints. "Who wants me to draw a flag on their face?"

"ME!" They all yelled.

"GET IN LINE THEN." She set up the paints as Gabriel flopped into a chair beside her.

"I want the bisexual flag," He said, pointing to his cheek. Hannah drew it on carefully and Gabriel shrieked with delight when it was done. 

"Me next!" Balthazar shoved his way into the chair. "Do you think you can put a flag on my forehead cause I can't decide on just two, so that way I'll have three."

"Course I can, your forehead's big enough. Which ones do you want and where?" Hannah said.

I was thinking big old non-binary flag on the forehead, Pansexual flag on one side, pride flag on the other?"

"You're gonna be so colorful!"

"The more rainbow the better."

"We should've bought rainbow eyeshadow," Hannah said.

"Oh my god, you're right. ANNA!"

"WHAT."

"DO YOU HAVE RAINBOW EYESHADOW?"

"OF COURSE I DO, AND YOU'RE NOT BORROWING IT."

"BUT AANNNNNAAAA IT'S THE PARAAAADDDDDEEEEE-"

"NO! YOU CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH MY MAKEUP." Hannah drew pride flags on Castiel and Anna's face and then Michael sat down.

"What'll it be, Mikey?" Hannah asked. 

"Could you do the asexual flag?"

"You got it!"

Drawing a pride flag on her own face was a bit more challenging, but Hannah did it anyways before Lucifer slid into the chair.

"A little different, but," Satan started. "Think you can somehow write the word 'ALLY' in rainbow letters?" Hannah gave him a deadpan look.

"Of course I can. I am a face paint MASTER."

Chuck bounded down the stairs and tugged on his suspenders, letting them snap against him as he grinned proudly.

""Well?" He asked.

"Horribly cheesy as always!" Balthazar declared.

"Perfect!" He wandered over to Lucifer. "So, will Chloe be meeting us at the festival?"

"Yes," Satan admitted. "So if I act like I've never seen you before in my life, it's nothing personal, it's just me avoiding a ton of embarrassment in front of my girlfriend."

"Oh trust me, Luci," Anna said. "You won't be the only one running from those suspenders."

"Hey!" Chuck insisted. "You're not ALL gonna ditch me over fashion, are you?"

"I'll stay with you!" Hannah offered. Chuck ruffled her hair.

"And that's why you're my favorite." 

"I KNEW IT."

"How DARE YOU-" Michael started. 

"You're just saying that cause she's the youngest!" Gabriel insisted. "I mean I know I'm not the favorite, but still! BIAS!"

"I am very biased," Chuck admitted. "I'm biased in that I love all of you no matter where on the rainbow you fall, even if you're Satan and people have told me to give you up for adoption."

"Wait what?" Lucifer asked.

"Oh yeah, you'd be amazed how many people handed me bibles and suggested you might be 'happier in a different home'. They knew you were Satanic from the beginning."

"I am WAY too proud of that."

"As you should be."

******

The turnout for the parade was even better than they had expected, but the real fun came after the parade, when you could roam main street and visit all the stands that had been set up, selling flags, stickers, pins and more. Harvelle's was giving out free milkshakes to anyone with some sort of rainbow on them and other shops had similar deals. 

Naturally, most of Chuck's kids scattered as soon as they were unleashed into the masses because honestly, what else did he expect them to do.

Lucifer ran off first, yelling about how he had to find Chloe.

She ended up by one of the stands and her eyes widened at the sight of Lucifer's T-shirt.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT," She declared, pointing at it. Lucifer glanced down at his shirt, which very loudly read 'I'm not gay, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks.'

"What?" He asked. "Never heard of gay for pay?" Chloe scowled.

"I don't want people walking up to you with 20 dollar bills asking to make out and stuff. It's my job to make out with you."

"I know that, and I will happily decline each and every person who asks because you're my girlfriend and I'd never cheat on you. But also like...If a girl came up to you and said I'll give you 20 bucks if you make out with me, what are you gonna do? Say I don't exist in the scenario." Chloe thought for a second.

"Well obviously I'm worth more than 20 bucks," She insisted.

"50 then."

"....I mean what's the girl look like?"

"Emma Watson."

"Shit, if it's Emma Watson I'd screw her for free."

"SEE! GAY FOR PAY IS A-OKAY."

"LUCIFER NO."

"LUCIFER YES!"

****

Charlie grabbed Cas's arm and pointed across the street, where Jo Harvelle was was walking, her hair tied back with a rainbow colored ribbon.

"Oh my god look," Charlie hissed. Cas fake gasped.

"Oh no! Your longtime crush is here! Whatever will you do, Charlie?" He asked. Charlie took a deep breath.

"There's only one thing to do," She said seriously. "I'm going to stalk her."

"...Or you could talk to her."

"I'm gonna stalk her."

"If she slaps you with a restraining order, you'll never be able to kiss her."

"That is a risk I am willing to take. Name ONE good relationship that didn't involve some light stalking somewhere along the line."

"All of them, Charlie. All of them."

But Charlie was already halfway across the street, so Cas rolled his eyes and moved on.

****

"When I'm president," Hannah started. "I'm making June 1st a national holiday and mandating Pride Parades in every state." Chuck groaned.

"Goddammit Hannah, WHY ARE YOU NOT PRESIDENT RIGHT NOW?" He said.

"Because I'm not 35!"

"But you'd be SO GOOD AT IT."

"I KNOW."

"I hope you realize this family is going to campaign for you so much it's going to make the people in this town vomit "VOTE NOVAK" campaign buttons."

"Is it bad that I've already designed the buttons?" She whispered. Chuck shook his head.

"No, it's not. Dream big, darling. Dream so big it hurts."

*****

Gabriel was drooling in front of a stand full of rainbow candy when Anna walked up to him.

"Just buy something," She said. "You know you want to."

"Of course I'm going to buy something," Gabriel insisted. "I just can't decide WHAT. It all looks amazing!"

"You're just saying that cause you're a candy add- OH MY GOD ARE THOSE RAINBOW SWIRL LOLLIPOPS?"

"THEY ARE."

"THEY'RE JUST LIKE THE GIANT ONES YOU SEE IN THE MOVIES, AND THE LITTLE OBNOXIOUS KIDS ALWAYS HAVE THEM I DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE REAL."

"Oh, Anna, they're very real."

"BUY THOSE."

"But rock candy-" Anna slapped her cash on the counter.

"I'M BUYING THE GIANT LOLLIPOPS."

"Wow."

"SHUT UP I DESERVE THEM."

****

Michael sat on the curb sipping a milkshake, and Chloe dropped down beside him.

"Harvelle's?" She guessed, waving her own milkshake.

"Yup," He said.

"Cheers." They tapped the Styrofoam cups together and sipped in silence. "Have you seen my Satan?"

"I think he's around the block."

"What's he doing all the way down there?"

"Oh, you know how it is. Some Karens showed up to 'protest the parade' so a bunch of people chased them down the block to get rid of them. Lucifer went with him, only he brought rocks."

"So he's currently stoning homophobes to death?"

"Yep."

"...Well if that's not a good ally, then I don't know what is."

"Good point. We should probably make sure he doesn't get arrested though." Chloe sighed.

"To some level I've always been preparing myself to be a prisoner's wife."

"That's dedication."

"Nope, just me being dumb enough to fall in love with Satan."

"I'll drink to that."

"I would too but my drink needs more alcohol for it."

"My god, you two are perfect for each other."

"Is that really surprising at this point?"

*****

"ANNA LOOK!" Balthazar screeched, waving a wad of napkins. "I got SOO many phone numbers! I'm gonna have enough dates for the next six months!"

"Only you would use a Pride Parade like a round of speed dating," Anna insisted.

"Well WHERE ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND GAY MEN?"

"I don't know...Hot Topic?" Balthazar paused.

"I mean you're not wrong-"

"And you're not the only one who's been getting phone numbers."

"Oh?"

"Like four girls have asked me out already. Do you think I should go out with them?"

"Do you want to?" Anna shrugged.

"Eh, why not mix it up a bit. Maybe I'll get some good makeup advice from one of them. I'm not a picky person."

"Things are more fun when you are open to dating everyone."

"Yeah, but I'm sticking to boys mostly, mister. I'm not going full whore like you."

"Good, cause I'm scary."

"You're terrifying."

"EXCELLENT."

****

Chuck stood on the corner of the parade, making a sign.

"What are doing?" Cas asked.

"It has occurred to me," Chuck began. "That some people don't have parents who support them, and that some parents actually DISOWN their children for being LGBTQ+, and that is HORRIFYING so I'm making a sign so I can adopt those kids so that they can have a decent parent."

"Dad we don't have anymore space in our house, but I love the idea."

"We have space in the backyard! I'll build barracks!"

"You'll have to buy more plates."

"I WILL BUY MORE PLATES!" Chuck held up his sign proudly and started marching around with it and slowly collecting more children for the family. 

He stood on the corner for the rest of the day, until Amara showed up and dragged him home, yelling about how she refused to sacrifice her sanity any further by letting Chuck adopt more children. 

So Chuck just followed all his adoptees on social media and spammed them with love every day and made a deal with Amara that when one of his kids moved out, he could fill the spot.