Michael was at the party.

In the bathroom.

Glaring at the mirror, to be specific, wishing that he could burn a hole in Lucifer's head from here for being completely right on what his twin would actually do at a party.

His brother's obnoxious singing of Be More Chill drifted into his head and Michael groaned before gathering up all of his courage and leaving the bathroom, to the relief of the people waiting and nearly about to pee themselves.

Zach had left him as soon as they'd arrived, naturally, abandoning Michael to the horrors of sorority house parties. There were kegs, there was loud, obnoxious rap music, there wasn't a pool, but there was a guy with a funnel halfway down his throat chugging an unholy amount of beer.

There was supposed to be beer pong, but somebody had sat on the ping pong balls and they were crushed, so nothing.

Lucifer's training was officially worthless, there was nothing good to drink, and Zach was his ride home soooo

Michael went in search of the biggest house plant he could find in order to hide and wait out the rest of his personal hell. Why he had thought coming to this party would be a good idea in the first place, he had no idea.

Ah, there was his savior. A large leafed fern in an ugly pot in the corner, with just enough space behind it for someone to disappear. He'd call it Paul and pretend to be on the phone anytime someone walked by. Perfect.

But as Michael dove toward his comfort place, he discovered that someone had already had the same idea he had, for there was already a tan, dark haired girl crouched behind the fern leaves, looking terrified.

Her eyes widened at the sight of him and she took a long drink from her red solo cup.

"Uh, hi," Michael said, not sure what he was supposed to do now.

"It's vodka!" The girl insisted, clear liquid souring out of her cup as she gestured wildly with it. "Not water, I swear, what kind of lame-o drinks water at a college party, I mean even the designated drivers stick to soda." She laughed nervously. Michael gently took the cup from her hand and sniffed it. Yep, that was water. He passed it back and raised an eyebrow.

"You don't have to lie to me," He offered. "I hate parties, especially the drinking part. If anything you're the smart one for sticking to water and not making a fool out of yourself."

"Well, that's not entirely true," She said. "I am hiding behind a bush. That has to make me a little bit foolish."

"Not really. I was gonna do the same exact thing, but you beat me to the plant." The girl smiled.

"I don't think we've met before. I'm Lydia."

"Michael."

"Alright Michael, if you don't like parties, then why did you come to this one?" Michael made a face.

"Let's see...I've been encouraged to step outside my comfort zone, my friend was determined to get me laid even though I don't want to, and I was just genuinely curious if college parties are like they are in the movies, and so far they are."

"Well, I can't help you with any of that, unfortunately, but I can offer you a space behind the bush." She squished closer to the wall and Michael gratefully stepped in beside her, fern leaves smacking into their faces. "There. Now we're invisible."

"Perfect. Now all we have to worry about is dying of dehydration or starvation before the party ends."

"I've got a cup of water."

"I've got a box of tic tacs in my pocket."

"What flavor?"

"Assorted fruit."

"Okay good, we can live off those. Dibs on the banana ones." Michael stared at her. "What?"

"You LIKE the banana ones?" He questioned. "They're disgusting!"

"Yeah, and I like gross foods!"

"Yeah but there's gross foods and then there's things that have banana artificial flavoring-"

"I don't have to explain my weirdness to you."

"Trust me, I am more than familiar with weirdness."

"Oh yeah? How familiar?"

"Well-" Michael was cut off as a hand grabbed him and pulled him out of the leafy corner.

Oh no.

Why, God, why must you do this now.

Satan always had a habit of showing up when you didn't want him to.

"MIKEY!" Lucifer exclaimed with glee, Chloe awkwardly hovering behind him. "See? I told you he'd be behind a house plant!" Michael let out a long suffering sigh.

"Hi Michael," Chloe waved.

"Hi," Michael offered. 

"Who's this?" Lydia asked, and Lucifer's whole face lit up.

"Well Mikey, I guess I must have taught you something if you didn't end up alone behind the potted plants," He winked at his brother and Michael once again attempted to disintegrate him with his eyes. 

"Lydia, this, unfortunately, is my twin brother, Lucifer and his girlfriend, Chloe. Guys, this is Lydia, she likes banana flavored tic tacs."

"You're going to hell," Chloe said immediately.

"I know," Lydia agreed.

"And not the good part."

"Well at least I'll be able to say I met Satan," Lydia insisted. "Is your name REALLY Lucifer?"

"Yes," Luci said seriously. "I am the King of Hell, the Fallen Angel, Satan, Beelzebub, etc. I don't get the whole goat theme, I don't have hooves or anything like that. I love to watch Fox news and then go club some baby seals after trolling Christian message boards."

"He's kidding," Michael insisted. "He doesn't watch Fox."

"Got it," Lydia nodded slowly. "So is this what you meant by being familiar with weirdness." Michael smirked.

"Oh, you poor innocent thing. I have five other siblings too." Lydia's eyes widened.

"Tell her about Balthazar," Luci insisted. "He bathed in vodka once."

"He has a shrine dedicated to the murder of Celine Dion," Chloe added. 

"I think you're scaring her," Michael warned as Lydia stood frozen. He hoped that wasn't the case. Lydia seemed cool, friend worthy even. And now, in true Novak fashion, they had probably just frightened her away for life. THANKS SATAN.

"No, it's fine," Lydia said. "Just a bit....unusual?"

"That's what we do," Lucifer said happily. 

"What are you two doing here anyway?" Michael asked.

"Wanted to see how bad you failed, and free drinks are free drinks," Satan said simply. "And I can't very well go to a party without my Queen, can I?" Chloe rolled her eyes, and Michael silently started begging to Chuck himself that they would go away soon so he could talk to Lydia more. Chloe, thankfully, because she was the BEST, picked up on his prayers and tugged on  Lucifer's arm.

"C'mon, Luci, let's leave them be," she insisted. 

"But who's going to tease him if we leave?" Satan whined. Chloe shot him a look and Lucifer sighed.

"Fiiiiiiiiine, we'll go. Have fun lil bro."

"I am literally only three minutes younger than you."

"BEST MINUTES OF MY LIFE!" Lucifer shouted, and Chloe led him away. Michael turned back to Lydia, way too relieved.

"Where were we?" He asked.

"Cowering in a bush," She reminded him.

"Ah, of course. Shall we?"

"Unless you want to commit social suicide and dance."

"Have you ever seen those videos where they put roller skates on animals and they fall all over themselves?" 

"Yes."

"That's how I dance."

"I have two left feet."

"Then dancing is off the table, I take it?"

"No, I mean I actually have two left feet, it makes buying shoes a bitch but hey, it gets you out of making a fool out of yourself on the dance floor."

"Back to the bush then?"

"Yes please." They dove into the leaves, content to hide and chat the night away.