School


If anything was heaven on Earth, Chuck thought, it would be school.

School, the glorious place that would take his children away for seven hours a day, and then return them with homework that they had to do. Work that kept them quiet for another two hours, if he was lucky.

School was heavenly in the eyes of Chuck Novak, especially when he got to drop off six out of seven kids, and was left alone with just Hannah all day.

He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd been alone with just one kid before. He didn't think it had ever happened. Michael and Lucifer were twins, so he had just gone from no children to two.

And then three.

Then four.

Then five.

Six. 

And finally seven, before Amara literally showed up and put a knife to his throat and ordered him not to adopt or create any more children.

Amara had had a point, too. Chuck thought that four should've been the limit, but that would have left him with just Michael, Lucifer, Anna, and Gabriel, and frankly, Chuck preferred Castiel and Hannah to them.

He knew it was wrong to play favorites, but it was hard not to. But at the end of the day, Chuck loved all his kids, from Satan to Hannah. They all had their individual charms, he supposed.

.....Surely, Gabriel and Lucifer had some sort of charm.

Even if they hadn't located what that was yet.

They'd figure it out eventually, Chuck assumed. But he wasn't so sure about Lucifer.  

Anyways. 

The first day of school was utter chaos in the Novak Household, even more chaos then usual. It was bad enough that Amara had shown up to lend her brother a hand as they attempt to get six elementary school aged children ready.

"I don't wanna go!!" Castiel was wailing, clinging to his father's leg. Castiel had never been to school before. At first he had been excited, until Lucifer and Michael had informed him that he'd be alone in a room full of strangers all day, and probably brainwashed.

"It'll be fine, Cassie." Chuck tried to reassure the toddler as he stuffed sandwiches into various lunch boxes. "You'll love school, you'll see."

"Gabriel doesn't love school!" 

As if on cue, there was a thud, and Gabriel fell down the stairs and into the room.

"Ow." He muttered. 

"They're MY COLORED PENCILS!!!" Anna screamed from the living room, arguing with Balthazar over ever possible school supply.

"No, they're MINE!!!" Balthazar yelled back, both of them pulling on the box.

Lucifer bounced into the kitchen, grabbing his lunch bag. 

"Dad, do we have any Adderall?" He asked politely.

"WHAT?" Chuck questioned.

"Adderall." Lucifer repeated. "The big kids pay money for it, and it's better then trading carrot sticks." Chuck stared at his son.

"Stay away from those kids." He instructed. Lucifer sighed and left, nearly running into Amara as she ventured in, holding a crying Hannah.

"Got any diapers?" She asked.

"No," Chuck offered. "We're working on potty training, so I stopped buying them."

"Bad idea."

"Uh huh." 

"....What's wrong?" Chuck blinked.

"I think I just realized my eight year old is a drug dealer."

"Well, every family's got one black sheep."

"Amara, he's EIGHT."

"And I'm half tempted to buy what he's selling." She admitted. She nodded toward Hannah. "Take her, I need to go stop Balthazar and Anna from murdering each other over blue pencils."

"I like blue pencils!" Castiel piped up as Chuck took a still wailing Hannah.

"There's lots of blue pencils at school." Chuck insisted. "Why don't you go get your backpack?"

"Okay!" He ran off, and Chuck sighed, studying his daughter. 

"What are we gonna do with you?"

*****

Somehow they managed to make it to school on time, and because it was the first day, Chuck walked the kids to their classrooms.

"Bye Daddy!" Anna called, barely looking back as she ran into class.

"Later!" Satan declared, he and Michael heading into their classroom.

"Luci, don't get in trouble!" Chuck called after him. "Michael, make sure your brother doesn't murder anyone."

"No promises," Michael replied, unsure.

"Bye!" Gabriel proclaimed.

"Hold on a minute there mister," Chuck insisted. "Pockets. Now." Gabriel grumbled and emptied his pockets, a small supply of itching powder, a whoopie cushion, a couple fake bugs, and a small mountain of candy leaving them.

"You have such small pockets," Chuck offered. "How did you-"

"I don't know." Gabriel shrugged and headed for his class.

"Bye Dad!" Balthazar yelled.

"Balthie, don't steal any of the teacher's stuff this time, okay?" Chuck pleaded. "Especially none of their special grown up juice, okay?"

"It's liquor, Dad." Balthazar insisted. "And besides, they fired my last year teacher for having it."

"And also because you drank it."

"True, true. I like grown up juice!" He bounced away, and Chuck sighed.

"See that Cassie?" He asked. "That's what a future alcoholic looks like."

"How do you spell that?" Castiel questioned innocently.

Castiel was the last to be dropped off, seeing as it was his first year at school.

"You have fun and behave, okay Cassie?" Chuck insisted. "I'll see you later."

".....NO." Castiel clung to his father's leg.

"You'll be fine-"

"I don't wanna be alone!!"

"You're not alone, there's other kids-"

"NO!"

The teacher eventually helped Castiel get in the class, and Chuck got the feeling that Cassie wasn't the only one who had had a meltdown this morning.

But then that was it. Chuck was free from six out of seven children for hours.

It was heavenly, and he honestly didn't care what his children were doing, as long as they weren't home, and weren't his problem.

*****

"Hi," A small voice said shyly. Castiel looked up. It was playtime in his class, and while most kids were messing around with legos or coloring, Castiel had snuck around to the back of the room, fiddling with his Dean Winchester G.I. Joe, because he had slipped it into his backpack when no one had been looking.

A small girl with red hair was staring at him now, smiling.

"Hello," Castiel replied, not knowing her.

"I'm Charlie."

"I'm Castiel." She pointed at the doll.

"Who's that?"

"His name is Dean Winchester.  I brought him from home. My brother Gabe has his doll brother Sam."

"I never get to play with G.I. Joes. Mommy only buys Barbies, and Ken is boring."

"Ken's a fish face," Charlie burst out laughing.

"You're right!" She agreed. "Do you wanna be friends? I don't have any friends yet."

"Okay," Castiel agreed. "I don't have any friends either."

"Well, then if we're the only friends each other's got, then I guess we better be best friends!"

"Okay."

"Yay! Do you wanna play house?"

"Sure!"

Maybe school wasn't so bad after all.

Lucifer's teacher begged to differ.

"HOW-" She started, staring at Lucifer's desk, which was on fire.

"I don't know!" Lucifer insisted. "All I did was draw a star and it burst into flames!"

"It happens sometimes." Michael offered.

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