4 years later.....

Castiel was thirteen when he realized he was gay. 

Sure he had suspected, but he also wasn't sure because it's not like he had been kissed by a guy or a girl before, so how was he supposed to know?

But when somebody decided to wallpaper the middle school hallway in pictures ripped from playboy magazines as a prank, Cas figured it out pretty quickly.

He was pretty sure that day was a revelation for everyone in his grade. Most of the other guys in his class were tearing the photos off the walls and stuffing them into their backpacks before the teachers could notice and take them. But Cas glanced at the photos and all he felt was slightly embarrassed. The other girls spent the day avoiding the walls at all costs, shielding their eyes with red faces.

And then there was Charlie.

She had stopped next to Cas after second period, staring at the walls.

"Holy shit," She whispered, her voice a higher pitch than usual.

"What?" Cas asked.

"I'm so fucking gay," Cas blinked.

"What?"

"You heard me," Charlie declared, snatching a picture off the wall and shoving it in her pocket as Cas stared at her. "This never happened." She declared before running away.

By fourth period that day, Cas found himself wishing it was shirtless pictures of guys instead on the wall.

And then he came to the conclusion.

It made sense if he really thought about it. He'd never liked girls. Well, not in that way, at least. But guys always intrigued him more. So he figured he was probably gay. It was a simple conclusion.

So now he just had to inform his family of that.

His.....family.

Wonderful.

******

Spaghetti night was a common train wreck in the Novak household. Chuck would make spaghetti and meatballs, half of it would get eaten, and the other half would end up smeared on the walls, the table, the children, and any surface they could get their hands on. 

If there was one moment where the Novaks would never mature, it would definitely be spaghetti night. And Cas happened to choose that night to announce his news to the family.

"I have to tell you something," He said quietly, as Anna boredly arranged her food in artistic patterns on her plate, Lucifer and Michael flicked pieces of meatball at each other, and Hannah and Gabriel had an intense contest to see who could create the best spaghetti mustache without it falling off your face.

"What is it?" Chuck asked curiously, swatting at Balthazar as the teenager attempted to steal his father's wine glass.

"I-" But then Gabriel's spaghetti mustache fell off, Hannah burst out laughing, and Gabriel promptly hucked the spaghetti at his sister, half of it splattering on Anna.

"Oh, you are SO DEAD," Anna declared, launching a meatball at Gabriel.

"Hey," Chuck warned, as the food fight started to escalate. Castiel always was the serious child, but for once he looked like he had something really important to say, and Chuck got the impression that they should all be listening. Lucifer flung a meatball at Michael, hitting him square between the eyes. Michael let out a yell and raised his whole plate of spaghetti in retaliation. 

"CHILDREN," Chuck yelled, stopping them. They glanced at their father, waiting. "Castiel has something to tell us, so for once, be civilized and listen. You can destroy each other with spaghetti afterwards." Reluctantly, they all sat down and looked at Cas.

"Um," He offered, now a little afraid. He didn't think he'd ever actually get his family's full attention.

"Go on," Michael urged.

"TTTT-TODAY JUNIOR!" Satan bellowed, unable to not make a reference.

"I'm gay," Cas blurted out. They blinked.

"And the sky is blue," Gabriel said dramatically. "What else is new?"

"The sky is actually not blue," Hannah whispered.

"Wait what?"

"It just appears blue because of infrared radiation. The sky is actually purple, and the ocean is clear."

"Wha- STOP MESSING WITH MY MIND."

"So you all knew this?" Castiel questioned, confused.

"I didn't," Anna objected. "I mean, I suspected, but never confirmed it. I thought Balthazar would jump out of the closet before you though." Balthazar snorted.

"What closet? I'm a whore."

"Balthazar!" Chuck insisted. Balthazar raised an eyebrow.

"What? I can't self identify as a whore?"

"Why would you-"

"Because I embrace it, instead of denying it like Anna does."

"HEY!" Anna shouted.

"Michael pay up!" Lucifer proclaimed as his twin grumbled and forked over a dollar. "I bet him when we were ten that you were gay. I win."

"You bet on my sexuality?" Cas said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, everyone's really."

"Gabriel!" Michael asked. "You're bi, right?"

"Yeah," Gabriel confirmed. Michael snatched the dollar back from Lucifer. 

"Thank you!"

"Balthie, you're pan, correct?" Luci went on.

"Duh." Lucifer snatched the dollar.

"What is this, burn the closet night?" Chuck asked.

"You got a problem with that?" Lucifer asked.

"Nope."

"Okay. Well, if it helps, the rest of us are straight. I mean, I'll totally experiment in college, but Michael and the girls are strictly heterosexual."

"How do you know what I won't experiment in?" Hannah questioned. Lucifer let out a whistle.

"I stand corrected." Castiel started to laugh.

"This is possibly the most ridiculous response to coming out ever." He insisted.

"Well, we're probably the most ridiculous family ever, so it works," Anna declared.

"And Cassie," Balthazar said. "If you wanna be gay, be gay. Just do me a favor, and enter the room saying 'I'm here, I'm queer."

"You do that already."

"Then say what up gang? I like wa-"

"BALTHAZAR!"