One year later...

 Chuck woke up sick as a dog. He groaned, figuring he'd probably gotten whatever cold this was from the kids. Gabriel had been sick the week before, probably, Castiel explained, because he had licked a swing set at school on a dare. And Gabriel had given the cold to Castiel, Balthazar, and Hannah, who gave it to Anna and Michael, who had presumably given it to Chuck.

Lucifer seemed immune for some reason, and he laughed at his sickly family.

But now all the kids were better and hyped up because it was Saturday, and Chuck lay in bed, wanting to die.

But he got up and stumbled into the kitchen where Hannah and Castiel were whispering at the table.

"What are you two up to?" He questioned.

"Plotting world domination." Castiel said innocently.

"But Lucifer is trying to take over too, so we have to take over the world first before he gets to it." Hannah explained.

"See, we have to take Canada last." Castiel declared. "Because everyone loves Canada. So if we invade them first, then the whole world will turn against us immediately. But if we have everything BUT Canada, then it'll be easy to take them over."

"That's a good point," Chuck admitted, pouring a cup of coffee. Hey, if he wanted anyone to take over and rule the world, he'd definitely want it to be Castiel. He'd do it right. 

....It occurred to him that he probably shouldn't be encouraging the idea that his four and five year olds wanted to take over the world.

"If you take over the world, Cassie, can I have Spain?" Hannah asked. "I like Spain." Castiel made a face.

"Oh, how do I put this...." He said awkwardly. "Spain's not gonna be around anymore." Chuck choked on his coffee, coughing.

"You okay, Daddy?"Hannah asked.

"Yep!" He proclaimed, coughing. "Just caught the cold you guys spread around."

"Sorry," They offered.

"It's fine." He blinked. He needed a nap. "Tell you what- I'm gonna stay in bed today, alright? Do you guys think you can handle being in the house for the day, or should I call Amara?"

"We can handle it!!" They exclaimed.

"Alright, but stay inside okay? And come get me if anything goes wrong."

"We will!" They declared.

"And remember," Chuck smirked deviously. "My spy is always watching." He had tricked the kids into thinking that one of them was a spy that would tell him everything bad that went down behind Chuck's back. It was a trick to get them to behave, and he had to admit, it was the best idea he'd ever had.

Especially since no one was actually the spy.

So Chuck went back to bed, and the rest of the kids slowly woke up.

"Good morning!" Anna offered cheerfully.

"Good morning!" Castiel and Hannah chorused back.

"Good morning," Michael insisted.

"Good morning," Balthazar declared.

"You all sound like robots," Gabriel proclaimed, rubbing his eyes. "Spice it up a bit." They shrugged, and then Lucifer slid into the room.

"HEY MOTHERFUCKERS!" He proclaimed. Hannah gasped and pointed a finger at him accusingly.

"BAD WORD!" She shrieked. "You said a BAD WORD! Bad words are BAD!"

"Dollar in the swear jar, Luci." Michael sang.

"We don't have a swear jar," Satan declared.

"Why don't we?" Castiel asked.

"Because then Aunt Amara would go broke, and Lucifer would be forever in debt to a jar." Gabriel supplied.

"Where's Dad?" Balthazar questioned.

"He's sick, so he's staying in bed." Hannah explained. They all paused.

"Sooooooo, we have the house to ourselves." Gabriel concluded.

"Not really- he's still here." Castiel admitted.

"WE HAVE THE HOUSE TO OURSELVES!" Lucifer decreed.

"But-"

"Don't ruin this for me, Cassie!" Lucifer snapped.

"You know, Luc, sometimes you remind me of the ocean." Gabriel commented. "So fucking salty." Hannah jumped up on her chair, pointing at Gabriel.

"BAD WORD!!!" She yelled.

"Hannah, if you hate bad words, how do you know so many of them?" Anna questioned. Hannah paused.

"She's got you there, sis." Michael agreed.

"Shut up bitches." Hannah said, and they all gasped.

"Her first swear word!!" Lucifer sang, wrapping his sister in a hug.

"I'm so proud," Gabriel wiped away fake tears.

"....Well Cassie," Anna offered. "Looks like it's just you and me left on the good side."

"Yep." Castiel agreed. "And maybe Balthazar." Balthazar popped up from inside the fridge.

"Oooo! Cognac!" He declared, holding up a bottle.

"....Nope, nevermind." 

"So, house to ourselves," Gabriel said, smiling deviously. "What are we gonna do?"

******

Two hours later, Chuck was seriously considering calling Amara, mainly because there was just too much noise downstairs for anything good to be happening.

But calling Amara required retrieving his phone from the other side of the room, and that just seemed like to much work right now.

The smoke detector went off suddenly, filling the house with a loud beeping noise. Chuck cringed. He didn't even want to know. 

He mostly definitely did NOT want to know that Lucifer was roasting barbie doll heads in a saucepan on the stove after dousing the doll heads in oil.

He did not want to know that Hannah and Balthazar were painting a detailed rainbow mural on the back wall of the living room, effectively dripping paint all over the hardwood floors.

He did not want to know that Castiel and Gabriel were currently on the roof, debating whether they could fly or not, and that Michael was watching them from the ground with a video camera, ready to document the exact moment Gabriel broke his neck falling off the roof.

Anna was just searching for inappropriate shows on the TV, seeing as she was the only sane one that could be trusted to be left alone.

Chuck called Amara from then on when he was sick, to say the least.