Cas stood frozen for a moment. Dean had told him he loved him....

Wait a minute....

DEAN HAD TOLD HIM HE LOVED HIM.

Cas bolted up the stairs, tripping halfway up and burst into his and Gabriel's room, where his brother was talking on the phone, undoubtedly with Sam.

"It's not a matter of if I SHOULD shove 56 marshmallows in my mouth, Sam," He was saying. "It's a matter of if I CAN, because-" Cas yanked the phone out of Gabriel's hand and threw it out the window. "HEY!"

"MAJOR FUCKING SIBLING WHATEVER FREAK OUT EMERGENCY!" Cas yelled, flailing his arms before collapsing on the bed. Gabriel stared at him.

"First of all," He started. "You forgot to say yeet when you tossed my phone out the window, and somehow that pisses me off more than the fact that you just shattered my phone. Second of all, WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY, and THIRD OF ALL-" He grabbed a pillow and started beating Cas over the head with it. "NEVER GRAB MY PHONE WHEN I'M TALKING TO MY MOOSIE!"

"TOO BAD," Cas shouted. "And IT'S A MAJOR MAJOR EMERGENCY."

"You'll have be more specific." Cas went red.

"Dean told me he loved me."

".....WE MUST SOUND THE SIBLING ALARM!" Gabriel ran out of the room and downstairs, where he frantically set off the alarm, which was really just a Staples "That was easy" button that Michael had hooked up to a megaphone. Why Chuck let them keep it out all the time, nobody knew, but he always replaced the batteries so it never died.

At the sound of the alarm, Balthazar, Michael, Anna, and Hannah popped up in Cas's room, ready to help. Lucifer didn't leave the basement because it's Lucifer, and if his siblings really need him then they can brave the hellhole that is his room.

"What's wrong?" Hannah asked quickly. "We haven't set off the sibling alarm since Lucifer and Chloe were in danger of breaking up." They all shuddered at the memory. The thought of everyone's OTP breaking up was too much for the house to bear.

"Cassie, tell them." Gabriel ordered.

"DEAN SAID HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME," Cas yelled. Hannah screamed.

"YES!!!!" She cheered, high fiving Gabriel. "DESTIEL FOR THE WIN!"

"But that's a good thing, right?" Michael asked. "What's the emergency then?"

"I don't know if I love him back," Cas said quietly.

"WHAT." Hannah demanded.

"How do you NOT KNOW," Anna started.

"Because I don't know!" Cas insisted. "I've never been in love before! I don't know what it's supposed to feel like! And Dean said all this mushy stuff, like it felt like it was relaxing and exhilarating all at once and-"

"For starters that doesn't make sense," Anna said.

"WELL IT WAS REALLY CUTE AND ROMANTIC WHEN HE SAID IT, OKAY, SO I'M SCREWED." Cas buried his face in his hands. "I don't know what I'm doing." He looked up at his siblings, suddenly hopeful as a lightbulb went off in his head. "But surely one of you guys has been in love before, right? What do I do?"

"One of us?" Balthazar echoed. "In love?"

There was a long pause, and then Balthazar and Anna burst out laughing.

"Seriously?" Cas asked. Hannah shrugged.

"Buddy I've never been on a date, I'm no help to you." She offered. Balthazar and Anna kept laughing.

"Honey, I'm here for quantity, not quality!" Balthazar exclaimed. "Well- not that kind of quality anyways. I don't fall in love, did that Marina song teach you NOTHING?"

"Yeah, Cassie, we don't really do the whole love thing," Anna agreed. 

"Michael?" Cas asked. Michael stared off into the distance dramatically.

"I am a lone wolf, Castiel." He said ominously.

"Well that's VERY HELPFUL. THANK YOU." He looked at Gabriel, who shrugged.

"I mean, the longest relationship I've ever had is with Sammich, but like.... He still kinda hates me.... And refuses to admit he's my boyfriend....But yeah I'm probably in love with him, so I'd say to just do whatever I'd do, because it's working." Gabriel admitted. Cas stared at him.

"There's only one thing to do," Balthazar said. "You have to ask Satan. He's the only one of us with any real experience in love." He had a point. Lucifer and Chloe had been dating for years. Surely they had to be in love with each other to put up with a relationship for that long, right?

"Good point," Cas agreed. "Let's go ask Satan." 

And so the siblings began the great trek into the unknown, the horrors of Lucifer's personal underworld. Each stair was a different level of hell, and the journey was far from easy. They lost Gabriel on stair two, when a great fall sent him plundering into the depths. Food rations were dangerously low, and just when it seemed like the trek would never end, they reached the bottom of the stairs.

Lucifer sat menacingly at his desk, scrolling through Reddit.

"What do you want, nerds?" He asked.

"Luci?" Anna started. "You're in love with Chloe, right?"

And Satan leapt from his seat, whipping around to stare upon Anna with a look of pure death.

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT?" He demanded. "Where did you hear that? Who are you working for? YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING."

"So that's a yes...." Anna concluded.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT." Luci declared. "......Yes I love my lil snuggle monster now what the fuck do you want?"

"Dean told me he loved me," Cas explained. "What the fuck do I do?"

"Did you tell him you loved him back?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know if I love him!" Lucifer stared at him.

"Cassie you're supposed to be the smart one," He whined. "Fine! That role is now Hannah's. You're in love with Dean Winchester, brother. Go tell him, and since he told you first, it should be easy to say it back. Then blow his brains out or something, I don't care."

"Blow his brains out with a gun or-" Balthazar stared, but Hannah clamped a hand over his mouth before he could finish.

"How do you know I'm in love with Dean?" Cas asked.

"You're kidding," Satan deadpanned. "You practically DROOL at the mere mention of his name, you come home like a starstruck fangirl every time you have a date with him, you won't let anyone insult him; it's like he's your consenting Senpai or something. If you don't love Dean Winchester, I'll stuff a raccoon up Michael's ass."

"WAIT A MINUTE THERE-" Michael said, suddenly panicked. 

"There," Lucifer went on. "Now you HAVE to tell him you love him or Michael will get rabies. Do YOU wanna be responsible for Michael's ass wounds?"

"That was the worst, most convincing argument-" Gabriel began. Cas sank to the floor, rethinking his life.

"Oh my god, I'm in love with Dean Winchester," He whispered.

"Congrats on being the last person to know!" Anna said.

"Wait..." Michael started. "Does this mean I'm NOT getting a raccoon shoved up my ass?"

"Not until Christmas, I'm afraid," Lucifer said. "But don't worry, I'll make sure it's rabies free."