Chapter 46

Bard gathered more wood and formed a pile big enough to last the night, then we just... sat. Sat and talked until the night took full bloom, and the stars once again shone in the millions.

Bard stretched out on the ground across from me and told stories, about this place, his childhood, and that shadow of joy that lingered in the cabin echoed out with his voice. It was more words than I'd heard him say in the entire time I'd known him, and each time he smiled, my lips would curve to match his. Each booming laugh made my chest swell.

I stared at the sight of him painted in firelight.

I'm falling.

Bard rolled to face me, propped his head on his hand, and smiled that blinding smile. "When I was a kid, I remember Zeke dating this girl named Lisa for a while." He snorted. "She wanted a pot belly pig real bad, so Zeke got her one. Biggest, ugliest damn thing. Shit brown colored, nasty smelling." He wrinkled his nose.

I grinned.

"I was visiting him when he decided to do all this. He didn't plan at all. Just, let's go get a pig. So, we do. He's in the front seat. I'm in the back with a pig that really wants to be in the front. I'm holding the fucker, and it's squealing and kicking the shit out of me. The person that gave it to us sent a bag of dog food with it, so Zeke starts feeding it to get it to calm down. Now, at this point, this thing is wedged between the two front seats, half its body up front, half in the back. Guess which half I got?"

I barked a laugh, and he grinned at me.

"So, Zeke opens up this bag of dog food, and lets the pig have at it. Only problem is, no sooner is this thing eating it, it's shitting it out right beside me."

I couldn't help it. I snorted, covered my mouth, but the look on his face when he said it. I laughed. I laughed like I'd never laughed in my life. I clutched my stomach, doubled over.

Bard gave me a moment to calm myself, all the while watching me with a warm expression. "Then, we finally make it back, and he doesn't have a place for it. He stuck it on the screened in porch until he could figure something out, but the damn thing hated it." His chest rumbled. "It was squealing it's ass off. Going nuts. Didn't stop the whole night. By the next morning, this thing starts body-slamming the screen door."

He paused and lifted a brow. "Have you seen Zeke in the mornings yet?"

I remembered the day I'd shown up and he took me for pancakes. He'd looked ready to chew my head off before he figured out who I was, then he'd just looked ready to take a hand. I grimaced. "Oh, yeah. That was fun."

Bard rumbled another laugh. "Yeah, well this shit happened early as sin. Zeke's coffee wasn't done yet. I'm peeking out the back, watching this pig slam against the door, and the damn thing starts to break." He stopped and took a breath, as if fighting for composure. "So I go find him in the kitchen, and he won't even look at anybody until he's had his coffee. I say, 'Zeke, the pigs gonna get out', and he says, 'The pigs fine, Bard."

I laughed at his impression. "You make him sound like an angry toad."

Bard grinned. "I go back to watch the pig, and the damn thing almost has the door off it's hinges. I run back, 'Zeke! The pigs about to get out!' and he shouts back, 'The pigs fine, Bard! Leave me the hell alone until I've had my coffee!'"

I leaned forward, cheeks sore from smiling, but it didn't matter. I was absorbed. In him. In the setting. In how open he'd become since we got out here. It was as if he'd been set free. This was the Bard from the photos. This was who I would have met if his life hadn't been torn apart.

I'm falling.

"I go back, again. I watch this damn pig tear the door down, and it just goes." He slaps his hands together, then shoots one off in front of him to signify how it looked. "He takes his ass off quicker than anything that round should be able to. I run back to Zeke, 'The pig got out.'"

He smacked the ground beside him and rolled onto his back, chest rumbling with deep, hearty laughter. "He shouts out–" He paused, unable to form the words. "He shouts out, 'Mother Fucker!', then takes off after it, still no coffee, angry as all hell. He can't catch it. He's running all over the yard, but every time he grabs it, the damn thing goes nuts and sends him sprawled across the ground."

His laughs barreled out of him, deep and thick and rich. I laughed too, but it was hard to focus when he looked like he did. I couldn't stop it. I fell a little more. Didn't even try to catch myself.

"So then, Zeke ends up walking around the yard, holding a bag of dog food, shaking it in one fist, chanting in the angriest damn voice I ever heard, 'Here piggy, piggy, piggy.'"

I laughed. "Did he catch it?"

"Eventually." He nodded. "But he was so fed up by the time he did, he broke it off with Lisa. Then he told me to never date a woman that would want a fucking thing like that as a pet."

I shook my head and stretched out onto my back with a sigh. Above me the stars stretched on in the millions, and I felt light enough to float up and join them. "I can't imagine what it must have been like."

Bard was quiet, but I could feel the heat of his gaze on my cheek. It burned hotter than the fire beside me, and made me acutely aware of him.

"I can't think of a single memory like that. Not in my whole life." My smile dulled, but I didn't feel bitter. I didn't feel regret. Instead, I just felt... warm. I didn't allow myself to think too hard about it. I couldn't let myself analyze the fact that I was happy that Bard had those memories, because that would mean too much.

I'm not falling.

"Your life's not over yet, Tequila."

You hit the ground, bitch, inner Jessie snarked.

I cut my eyes over to him and nodded. "Not yet."

Bard studied me, but he didn't look like he was searching anymore. Instead, he looked like he knew. Like he'd figured out whatever it was he was set on discovering. "This is a memory." His lips curved into a soft smile. "And I can promise you, I'll think about this way more than Zeke chasing a pig."

My skin heated. I turned back to the stars and tried to focus on anything other than him.

Fucking hell. I'm falling.

Bard was quiet another long moment. "And right now..." his voice thickened.

Don't look over.

"God, you look beautiful," he breathed.

I sucked in a breath, screwed my eyes shut. I need him to stop before I hit the ground.

Inner Jessie's laughter echoed loud and clear.

I ground my teeth. "Sweet words, Bard."

His chest rumbled, and I heard him flop to the ground. "I apologize."

I cut my eyes over.

His gaze met mine, light and amused. He'd flipped onto his stomach, leaned forward, and had his face propped into his hands like how a little girl would pose for pictures. He fluttered his lashes.

It was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen.

I laughed.

Bard smiled. "What? I don't look cute?"

"You look..." I couldn't finish. Damn him! I was trying to be aloof. I was trying to keep a distance. I was trying not to get sucked into how amazing he was, but instead, I laughed again.

"Pretty?"

"Dumb."

"Ouch." His lip twitched. "You really know how to hurt a man's pride, Tequila."

I snorted. "Something tells me your pride is just fine."

He grinned. "Because I'm too good at so many things?"

I deflated. I was losing. I wasn't equipped for this type of arsenal. "I don't want to... feel."

Bard's grin disappeared. His eyes cut, face sobered. "I know." He lifted himself up, slid around to my side of the fire, and sat beside the top of my head with his legs stretched out in front of him. He looked down at me. "I know." He brushed the hair away from my temple, then settled back and stared at the flames.

I tilted my face back the slightest of fractions, and caught a glimpse of his strong profile.

"One thing about catching those fish earlier..." He fixated on the fire, but I could feel his attention on me. "You've got to be real patient to grab them like that. If you get too eager, you'll scare them, and they'll swim away." He looked over at me. "It's the same with hunting." He shrugged. "I learned a long time ago how to be patient."

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