Chapter 36

The tattoo gun and supplies were in plain sight on the bed, but I still lingered. I needed a moment to calm. Heat once again radiated from my neck to my face, and no matter how hard I wished, it wouldn't go away.

"Why?" I whined. Why did he have to be so attractive? Why did my brain abandon me anytime he got too close?

"Did you get lost, Tequila?" Bard called from the living room. He sounded amused. Damn him.

I couldn't show my face to him, at least not until it returned to its normal color. "Just a second," I called back, voice strained. I wanted to kick myself. I wanted to reach down deep, snatch inner Jessie by the throat, and shake her.

"Okay." I took a deep, calming breath in through my nose, then blew it out slow through pursed lips. "You've never done yoga, or meditation, or any other shit like that, but... you better figure it out..." I breathed again. "Right now." Great. I'm talking to myself. I've lost it. He drove me crazy.

Another, in through my nose, slowly out through my mouth. Then, again. My heart rate slowed. Okay, this is good. I took another deep breath in, blew it out slowly-

"Whatcha doin?"

I let out a shriek worthy of a police visit. "Fuck!" I glared at him and clutched my back-to-racing heart. "Don't do that!"

Bard smiled, and if that wasn't enough to undo all the work I'd done, he darted forward and laid a big kiss onto my cheek.

"Don't do that, either!" I wiped it away, and scowled at him. "You must not want a tattoo."

His smile widened. "I do. That's why I came looking for you." He stepped around me and flopped down onto the bed, placing his hands behind his head, smiling that gut wrenching smile at me. "We can do it here. There's an outlet right under the shelf."

I swallowed hard again at the sight of him, stretched out, on a bed, half naked. Damn.

Thankfully, this time, I was better prepared to deal with it. No way would I be able to handle it for the entire tattoo, though. Nope. Did I look like a saint? Well, I definitely was not, nor had I ever been, saintly. "Living room." I pointed, my expression as stern as I could manage.

His eyes crinkled. "Yes, ma'am." He lifted himself back up, gathered the supplies from the mattress, then slid off the edge to stand right in front of me. "After you." His voice was deep, a caress against my ears.

Just two words in that smooth tone, and my ovaries exploded. I bolted down the hallway as if the bedroom was on fire, which it damn near was. "Sit." I stood as far as I could away from him, and clung to the much needed space as long as possible.

Bard didn't make a sound as he took his place. He stretched his legs out the way they'd  been before and stared at his feet.

I plugged the gun into the wall and set everything out on the table. "What did you say you wanted?"

"You are never lost," he repeated, tone soft. He ran a finger across the left side of his chest.

I let my eyes roam over him once again, and noticed something my hormone crazed brain had overlooked before. "Don't you have any other tattoos?" I searched, but every inch of that golden skin was unblemished.

He shook his head. "That makes you my first, Tequila."

I ignored his comment. "I assumed you'd have tons."

"Never really wanted one." He shrugged. "Truth is, I don't like needles that much. I might need you to hold my hand."

I smirked at him. "It would be kind of hard to tattoo you while holding your hand." I eyed his chest. "You're gonna have to shave that."

"I was hoping you'd do it for me."

I put my hands on my hips. "Not gonna happen. Go in the bathroom and shave that shit off."

His lip twitched as he lifted himself from the table and casually sauntered by.

I busied myself with planning how I would do the lettering. They needed to be bold, dark, and masculine if they were going to suit him.

You are never lost. Like everything else that had to do with Bard, curiosity hit me. What did it mean? Or more specifically, what did it mean to him?

Five minutes later, he walked back out with a small bare patch on his chest.

"Did you make sure to clean the area really good?"

"Yes." He sat back down, and waited patiently, his face impassive.

He seemed almost sullen. His whole demeanor shifted. I lifted a brow at him. "Did you get bad news in the bathroom or something?" I grabbed the gun from the table and held it in my hand.

"No." Another short answer.

I bit my lip and considered questioning him further, but decided against it. "Alright then. You ready?"

He nodded.

It was as if he'd been transformed, back to the man I'd first met at the bar. It was better for me, anyway. He was sexy enough with no shirt to cover all of that manliness. No need to add that smile to his face. A girl could only take so much.

"You are never lost?" I verified.

He nodded.

I placed a hand onto his shoulder. With no chair to sit on, I was forced to simply crouch down in front of him, positioning myself between his legs. It was the only way to get a good angle.

This is a terrible idea.

Bard stared down at me, face too close and eyes like magnets.

I swallowed hard and turned on the gun. "So... what does it mean?"

He shuddered when the needles touched his skin for the first time. "You really want to know?" His tone was low and slightly strained.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." I picked up some more of the ink and worked it into the Y.

"When I was a seven, my dad started teaching me how to navigate the land. How to track, how to hunt, how to survive."

I focused on the piece and listened to him. Everything about him drew me in, fascinated me. I didn't understand it, but couldn't resist the temptation of learning some new part of the mystery.

"He taught me how to use the sun, the moon, the wind, the trees. You can use all of it... to direct yourself."

I finished the You, and wiped it down, before starting on the A.

Bard paused his story to watch me. "You look so natural doing that. Like you were born for it."

I kept my eyes on the artwork and tried to ignore the heat returning to my face. "Thank you."

Bard rumbled a laugh, then left me alone. "When I was nine, he and Zeke dropped me off in the middle of our land and left me there."

My eyes shot to his. "They just left you? Like alone in the fucking mountains?" I stopped tattooing and sat back on my haunches.

He grinned. "Yeah. It was scary as all hell. There's bears up there, ya know? I'll be level with you, Tequila. I damn near pissed myself."

How the hell could he seem so easy about that? "That's fucked up." I shook my head.

He shrugged. "Once I realized they weren't coming back, I started tracking them, and I found my way home."

"Still fucked up." I lifted back up to continue the piece.

"When I made it back, I told him so. My dad. I yelled at him, told him I hated him for abandoning me. Told Zeke I hated him, too."

I finished the Are, and started on the N.

"He let me yell, let me scream, let me get it all out of my system, just staring at me."

"Sounds like you," I commented without thinking.

He snorted a laugh. "I guess so."

I looked up, and he smiled at me.

"When I was done, he knelt down in front of me, looked me right in the eye, and said 'You are never lost.' I didn't know what he meant at the time, but I think I'm finally starting to figure it out."

We sat in silence for a while, and I managed to make it to the word Lost. "So?" I couldn't take it anymore. "What does it mean?"

"It means..." He leaned forward, face close, gaze level and open. "No matter what happens, you can always navigate your way back home, Jessie. You are never lost." His eyes bore into mine.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "That's beautiful, Bard." I looked away, then finished up the last bit and wiped it all down. "What do you think?"

He looked down. "It's perfect."

"Great." I smiled at him. "Let me bandage it up for you, then I'm gonna head off to bed."

"Tomorrow," he said.

My brows furrowed. "What about it?" I grabbed the A&D ointment and rubbed some of it onto his skin.

"We're leaving tomorrow. For the mountains."

I froze. "I said I'd think about it."

He released a sigh. "There's nothing to think about, Jessie. It's the safest thing. For everyone."

I clenched my hands into fist. He was right. Damn him. Seb had come so close. Drake had been so close. If anything happened to the people here, it would be all my fault. "It's temporary right? We have a plan?"

"Yes. We're gonna finish this, Tequila." He sounded so confident, so determined.

I knew staying wasn't an option. I couldn't do it. I couldn't risk these people, and if Bard was right, this would be the smartest move. I gave a stiff nod. "Fine. Tomorrow."

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