We'd been in LA for a couple of weeks and today was the day of my first midwife appointment. I lay on the bed in a white gown and Sebastian is sat next to me, the nurse puts cold jelly on my tummy and moves it around as she looks at the screen frowning. We both stay quiet as she continues to move the machine around ask a couple of questions in regard to how many weeks I think I am. "The problem is, there's nothing there. One of two things has happened, first being a false positive test the other being you've miscarried. Have you had any bleeding or pain in your tummy?" She asks. "No i've not had anything like that".

We leave the appointment confused and disappointed that the pregnancy test was faulty. I look out the window as Sebastian drives us back to the rental house, he puts his hand on my thigh and softly squeezes silently reassuring me that we'll be ok. Our pregnancy or what we thought of it was unplanned but we were both happy and now I don't think we'll be trying for a baby, maybe this was a good thing we were both busy and scheduling came between us before never mind having a baby mixed up in this.

When we get back to the house I grab a drink and sit outside doing some work on my laptop, I find myself day dreaming about our little family - it was too good to be true. I was listening to Taylor Swift quietly singing along when Sebastian came out with a couple of salads for us. We eat in silence, Sebastian was scrolling on his phone and I continued to work whilst eating.

The weeks had passed and I was enjoying being on set watching Sebastian in all his glory, it was strange seeing him kiss someone else. I was loving life in LA, every morning we would go to a little coffee shop and get breakfast then go to the gym or a fitness class together. We were inseparable doing cringy couples things like getting matching keychains and making a playlist of songs we'd heard out and about together.

I was home alone tonight because Sebastian was at a work dinner - I was invited but had so much work to do myself. I went to be around 8.30pm doing work whilst watching Netflix's my eyes begin to get heavy. I wake up hearing footsteps coming into the room, the tv and bedside light was still on and I smile as I see Sebastian. He kisses my head as he kicks off his shoes.

"Sorry for waking you baby, go back to sleep", my  eyes flutter shut as I feel the bed dip beside me and the cold body pulls me in stealing all my warmth, now the room is in darkness and my body relaxes against the familiar smell of his cologne.